糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S04E10

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2021, 1:01 p.m.

from the villagers as tax.
某人真不要脸
Cheeky so-and-so.
诺曼大富翁毫无公平可言
Normanopoly. There's no such thing as playing fair.
毫无公平可言
我最好再建一座教堂
Oh, I'd better build another church.
我要干非常坏的事情了
I'm about to do something really bad.
你需要改进你的邪恶笑声老大
You need to work on your evil laugh, boss.
有什么问题吗
What is wrong with it?
诺曼大富翁保证满意否则还你领土
Normanopoly. Satisfaction guaranteed, or your country back.
门儿都没有
Never going to happen.
诺曼大富翁毫无公平可言
绝妙古希腊
一些伟大的希腊思想家有点怪异
Some of our great Greek thinkers were a tad unusual,
第欧根尼当属怪人之最
and none more so than Diogenes.
你干什么呢
What do you think you're doing?
对不起老兄
Oh, sorry, mate. I had
我不知道木桶里还有个裸男
no idea there was a naked man in the barrel.
为什么木桶里会有个裸男呢
Why is there a naked man in the barrel?
你为啥要光着身子待在木桶里呢
Why are you naked in a barrel?
因为我认为人类社会已经把
Because I believe that human society has overcomplicated
简朴的自然美过分复杂化了
the simple beauty of nature,
所以我拒绝任何世俗的东西
so I have rejected the trappings of society,
包括所有的物质财富
including all material possessions.
第欧根尼的确是这么做的
现在我只跟我的木桶相依相伴
These days, it's just me and my barrel.
等等你是不是第欧根尼
Hang on, aren't you Diogenes,
那个有名的哲学怪人
the famous philosopher and total weirdo?
你说我是怪人
Total weirdo, you say?
你干什么干什么呢
Oh, what are you doing, what are you doing?
你侮辱了我所以我要在你身上尿尿
You insulted me, so I'm weeing on you.
他的确曾在他不喜欢的人身上尿尿
你不能这么做
Oh, you can't do that!
-谁规定的 -社会规定的
- Says who? - Says society.
我不吃社会那一套
I don't believe in society.
对哦你刚刚说过
Yeah, you just said that, didn't you?
-好吧等等这是什么 -什么
- All right, hang on, what's that? - What?
这个碗就属于物质财富
That bowl is a material possession.
老兄人是需要喝水的
Man's gotta drink, man.
好吧看看那边那个小孩
All right, well, what about that child over there?
不是那个是那个
Not that one, that one!
她喝水时就不用碗
She doesn't need a bowl to drink water,
而是用手
she's using her hands,
这样碗就不是必需品了
which makes that a needless material possession.
真事
说得好
Good point.
好吧你变成了一个自以为是的怪人
Right, so now you're a smug weirdo.
你刚说我是个自以为是的怪人吗
Did you just call me a smug weirdo?
不好我收回收回刚才的话
Oh, no! All right, I take it back, I take it back!
-你不是自以为是的怪人 -谢谢
- You're not a smug weirdo, OK? - Thank you.
-干吗呢 -你是个肮脏自大的怪人
- Hey! - You're a filthy smug weirdo.
这下你没辙了吧
And what you going to do about that, eh?
没法在我身上尿尿了吧
Can't wee on me now, can you?
这么说吧
Well, let's just say
我真正发怒时会采取备用计划
when I'm really offended I switch to plan B.
你这个禽兽
Oh, you're an animal!
等等给我一分钟就一分钟
No wait, give it a minute, just need a minute.
不好有一部分反弹回来了
Oh, no. Oh, that has, in a very literal sense, backfired.
第欧根尼的确通过拉屎来宣泄愤怒
没错第欧根尼曾在木桶里居住排泄
That's right, Diogenes lived, weed and pooed in a barrel.
举止真是优雅得体啊如果是老鼠的话
Perfectly decent behaviour... if you're a rat.
另一位聪明绝顶的希腊人是毕达哥拉斯
Another super-smart Greek was Pythagoras,
他也是个挺搞笑的人
and he was a bit of a funny fish as well.
毕达哥拉斯
愚蠢的死法之
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
真人真事乐哈哈*
*They're funny cos they're true
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time it's not you
然后我就说
And then I said,
你又给我惹了个大♥麻♥烦
That's another fine - mesh - you've got me into!
[网mesh与麻烦mess谐音]
大♥麻♥烦啊因为我穿着锁子甲
Fine mesh! Because I was wearing chainmail!
[锁子甲是网状物的一种]
你要是在场就会明白的下一位
Oh, maybe you had to be there. Next.
姓名
Name?
毕达哥拉斯希腊哲学家兼数学家
Pythagoras, Greek philosopher and mathematician.
慢着你的名字挺耳熟的
Oh, ding-a-ling-a-ling! Your name rings a bell!
你不就是那个发明什么三角公式的家伙吗
Aren't you the fellow who invented the triangle formula thingy?
勾股定理
Pythagoras' theorem.
就是这个不要告诉我我知道的
That's the one! Oh, don't tell me, I know this.
当河马成一个可爱的角度时
The square of the thingamajig is equal to the two sides
[死神将三角形斜边误读为河马]
什么东西的平方和其他两边一样
of the hippopotamus when it's sitting at a cute angle.
差不多吧就是直角三角形斜边的平方
Nearly. The square of the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle
等于其他两边的平方和
is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.
老兄河马那里我就听不懂了
Hm, you lost me at hippopotamus, mate.
快点继续说你的故事
Come on, then, on with your story.
希望比你的理论好懂
I hope it's easier to understand than your theory.
好吧
Right.
我发起了一场毕达哥拉斯主义宗教运动
Well, I started a religious movement known as Pythagoreanism.
我们还制定了一套不同寻常的教规
Yeah, we had a set of quite unusual rules.
不准摸白公鸡
Never touch a white cockerel,
不准踩剪下来的手指甲
never stand on your fingernail clippings
还有千万不准碰豆子
and never, ever touch beans.
豆子的味道有点问问路易斯就知道
Oh, beans can be a bit...peuw! Just ask Louis.
我开玩笑呢
I'm joking.
虽然你有点臭你确实很臭
Although you are a bit whiffy. You are!
总之呢并不是所有人都喜欢我的学派
Well, anyway, not everybody liked my little club.
其实有些人甚至想置我于死地
In fact, some people even wanted me dead.
继续
Go on.
有一天我被几个杀手追杀
One day, I was being chased by some would-be assassins.
我体格健壮不一会儿就甩掉了他们
Well, I was easily outstripping them, I'm quite fit.
我跑到了一片田地前但那是块豆子地
I got to a field. The only trouble was it was a bean field.
然后呢
And?
我们毕达哥拉斯学派成员是不准碰豆子的
We Pythagoreans aren't allowed to touch beans,
所以我不愿意踩进去
so I refused to go in.
然后呢
And?
他们追了上来杀了我
They caught up with me and they killed me.
-你被 -是的
- You got...? - Yeah.
就因为
Because...
你逗死了
You've been stupid,
或者说你"豆"死了没有走之旁
or rather, you've - bean - stupid. "Bean" With an A.
很好你可以去投胎了
Well done, you're through to the afterlife.
可以离开了像豆子圆润地滚走吧
Run along now. As in runner bean - runner bean along now!
很好
That's good, yeah!
-好好享受吧 -回见
- Oh, enjoy! - Ta-ta.
今天就到此为止吧结束了
Well, I think that's it for the day, that's a wrap.
[wrap也指包裹物]
因为这些绷带对牛弹琴
Because of the bandages! Oh, I'm wasted here.
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time it's not you
邪恶的维多利亚时代
在维多利亚时代
In Victorian times,
工厂的童工每天必须工作十个小时
the children employed in factories had to work up to ten hours a day.
如果他们旷工的话会受到什么惩罚呢
What happened if they didn't turn up for work?
A 被浸在水里
A. Dunked in water
B 被套上脚镣
B. Put in leg irons
C 被抓进监狱
C. Sent to prison
答案是
The answer is
C 被抓进监狱
C, they were sent to prison
但如果工作时睡着了就会被浸在水里
But if they fell asleep at work they were dunked in water,
要是他们试图逃跑就会被套上脚镣
and if they tried to run away, they were put in leg irons.
在维多利亚时代当穷♥人♥确实不容易
It really wasn't very easy being poor in Victorian times.
历史版
交换女主人
本周的《历史版交换女主人》
This week on Historical Wife Swap,
来自伦敦梅费尔的
the Tombleby-Pumblechooks
[梅费尔是伦敦西区高级住♥宅♥区]
唐布尔比-庞波楚克一家将会与
of Mayfair will be doing a wife swap with...