糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S04E10
Part 5
Jan. 3, 2021, 1:01 p.m.
It's time for HHTV Cribs.
[恶搞MTV Cribs和CMT Cribs 探访名人豪♥宅♥的真人秀节目]
糟糕历史电视台 名人豪♥宅♥秀
大家好 糟糕历史电视台
Yo, yo, yo, yo, HHTV!
我是黑胡子 这艘船是我的豪♥宅♥
My name's Blackbeard, and this here is my crib,
安妮女王复仇号♥ 我的挚爱
the Queen Anne's Revenge, and I loves her.
大海的味道
Mmm, very salty!
糟糕历史电视台 名人豪♥宅♥秀
这艘船产于不列颠 但骨子里
Made in Britain, but on the inside
甲板之下
却透着经典的法国范儿
it's got kind of a classic French vibe.
因为它是法国人从英国人手中偷来的
That's because the French stole it off the British
然后我们又从法国人那偷来的
and then we stole it off the French!
事实如此
我们抢到她时 她被法国人用作商船
So when we nicked her she was a French merchant ship,
甲板之上
但我们需要的是一艘海盗船
but we needed a pirate ship,
于是我们将她粉饰一新 挂上海盗旗
so we pimped her up, changed the logo.
原来的东西一概不要
The old one was whack!
但把厨子留了下来 这些家伙还能烧烧饭
We kept the chef, though. Those dudes can cook it up.
看看音乐系统怎么样
Check out the music system.
音乐阵阵入我心
Oh yeah, proper banging, that.
这里是放赃物的房♥间
Yo, this is the booty room.
赃物室
我的金子都放这里 闪吧
This is where I keep my gold. Blinging!
白糖 妙[甜]吧
Sugar. Sweet!
还有我的药呢 酷[有病]吧
And my medicine - sick!
这些真的都是海盗的赃物
或者还是 不生病为妙
Or rather, not so sick.
再给大家看看我给船员弄的卫生间
Got to show you the toilet I put in for the crew.
艺术珍品
State of the art!
大体上就是架在海上的一个绳子网
It basically a rope cage over the ocean.
千真万确是海盗卫生间
大伙喜欢边看风景边解决需求
They love a poo with a view.
你还好吧 弗朗索瓦
You all right, Francois?
船上厨房♥
你好 我的船长
Bonjour, mon captain.
午餐好香 在做什么呢
Lunch smells good. What you cooking?
蛆虫布满的肉 还有象鼻虫盖饼干
Meat filled with maggots followed by biscuits covered in weevils.
我们出海待上几个星期
The food always kind of rots
事实如此
食物就都腐坏了
once we've been at sea for a few weeks.
来看看这些大炮 我们弄了40架
Put some cannons in. Got 40 of these bad boys. Ow.
这边 我们抓了一些人放在这边
Over here, we've got some homies chilling out.
黑胡子确实抓了不少人♥质♥
还好吧
What's up?
救命 我的名字是珀西瓦尔
Help! My name is Percival,
我一直被黑胡子当做人♥质♥劫持
I've been kidnapped by Blackbeard...
我爱死这家伙了 笑死我了
I love this guy. He cracks me up!
还有这位 如假包换
Here he is, here's the man himself,
伊斯莱尔·汉兹 跟大家打个招呼
Israel Hands. Say hello, Israel.
好吧
All right?
黑胡子确实为了寻开心开枪打了伊斯莱尔·汉兹
我纯粹为了找开心
That was just for fun.
战斗时
When you're in battle,
得穿上最有范的外套
you've got to get your swagger-jagger on!
这是我的房♥间 放着我金贵华丽的衣裳
This is my room, this is where I keep all my nice rich clothes.
我从死在我手里的人身上剥下来的
I stole them off people I killed.
他的确从命丧他手的人那里偷衣服
你脖子上这条围巾不错嘛
That's quite a nice scarf you got there.
-什么 -能给我瞅一眼吗
- What? - Can I have a quick look at it?
你这是要去哪
Hey, where are you going?
我不干了
Ah, I'm out of here!
糟糕历史电视台 名人豪♥宅♥秀
黑胡子绝对是实至名归的恶人
Blackbeard was a truly evil man,
他也算是恶有恶报
and he met an appropriately horrid end.
1780年 他在海上战斗中被杀
In 1780, he was killed in a battle at sea,
脑袋被人砍下来
his head was chopped off
无头的尸体随即沉入大海
and his headless body thrown into the sea.
黑胡子 安息吧
Blackbeard, RIP.
或者说 安息吧吧吧吧吧
Or rather, Arrr - IP!
[Arrr为海盗惯用语气词]
恐怖的都铎王朝
亨利八世去世后
When Henry VIII died,
他的儿子爱德华即位 时年九岁
his son Edward became King at the age of just nine,
即便是国王 他也要接受教育
and even a king needed to have an education.
来吧来吧 爱德华♥国♥王
Oh, come, come, King Edward,
每位年轻的君主都需要熟知经典
every young monarch should have a firm grasp of the Classics.
把这句话翻译成拉丁语 拉丁语不难
So translate into Latin for me, "Latin isn't difficult."
我记得这句的 奇客老师
Um, I know this one, Mr Cheek.
这句要是答错了
Get this wrong,
有人就要吃我一教鞭了
and somebody's going to get a jolly good whipping.
"拉丁不难的干活"
Latin not difficultus?
回答错误 我好心警告过您了
Wrong. You were given fair warning.
屁♥股♥抬起来吧 孩子
Bend over, boy.
您只是运气好罢了
You're just lucky
我没有资格鞭罚王室成员
I'm not allowed to strike a Royal.
爱德华六世上学时不能被惩罚
陛下 我再问您一次
So I shall ask you one more time, sire,
拉丁语不难 用拉丁语怎么说
what is the Latin for, "Latin isn't difficult?"
"拉丁不难思密达"
Latin non difficultorum?
错了 过来吧 替罪羊
Wrong! Bend over, whipping boy.
所以他有一个替罪羊替他受罚
抱歉 巴纳比
Sorry, Barnaby.
"拉丁语不难不难真不难"
"Latinum linguum loqui non est difficilissimum."
看吧 拉丁不难吧
See? Latin isn't difficult.
很难 笨蛋奇客老师
No, Mr Bumcheek.
-你说什么 -很难 奇客老师
- What was that? - No, Mr Cheek.
我饶过你这一次 但是记住
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time, but know this.
我绝对不会在自己的课堂上
I will not be made to look like a buffoon
被你当作傻瓜一样玩弄
in my own classroom,
即便你是都铎国王也不行
even by a Tudor king.
砍我头吧
我绝对不会
Of course not.
太好了 咱可说清楚了
Good. So long as that's clear.
做国王或者王子的替罪羊不全是坏事
It wasn't all bad being a king or prince's whipping boy.
后半生将获得丰厚的金钱
You stood to be richly rewarded in later life
作为替罪受罚的回报
for taking all the beatings.
令人伤心的是 爱德华六世英年早逝
Sadly, Edward VI died when he was still just a teenager,
没有回报给替罪羊巴纳比· 菲茨帕特里克
so no rewards for his whipping boy, Barnaby Fitzpatrick.
或者说巴纳比· 屁♥股♥疼·菲茨帕特里克
Or, to give him his full name, Barnaby Sore Bottom Fitzpatrick.
爱德华去世之后
And when Edward passed away,
他同父异母的姐姐继承了王位
along came his half-sister,
玛丽一世
Mary I.
[戏仿凯特·布♥什♥的歌♥曲《呼啸山庄》]
吾父国王老亨利*
*King Henry VIII, my father
期冀我能有兄弟*
*Hoped I'd have some Tudor brothers
母亲肚子不争气*
*Mum had no sons, so rather
[亨利八世和第一任妻子拉贡的凯瑟琳独女]
所以继母一再娶*
*I got plenty of stepmothers
[亨利八世一生六任妻子]
爱德王子一出世*
*When at last Prince Ed was born
[亨利八世和第三位妻子简·西摩独子]
王位于我如浮云*
*The crown I bid adieu
据说王位必须是*
*They said as King he must be sworn
长子才能来继承*
*Boys go first in the queue
事情开始不顺利*
*But there's no need to worry
没有必要瞎着急*
*If at first you don't succeed
爱德华去世 我扫清政敌*
*When Ed died, I swept aside the rest
顺应天意*
*And was decreed
我就是玛丽一世*
*Mary I, that's me
都铎之女 英格兰女王*
*Tudor lady and Queen of England
[二者同名且年代相近 常被人弄混]
不要把我认成*
*Not to be confused with
苏格兰女王玛丽*
*Mary, Queen of Scots
不一样 要牢记*
*Not the same, see
尽管很诡异*
*Though weirdly
她跟我是表亲*
*She's a cousin to me
[亨利八世妹妹的女儿 因信奉新教即位]
爱德华死后有人说*
*Some tried to say Lady Jane Grey
珍·格雷应上台*
*Should be Queen after Ed
[即位九天之后被废黜 死时年仅16岁]
幸亏英格兰选了我*
*But England wanted me. Hooray
小可怜丢脑袋*
*So poor Jane lost her head
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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