闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S04E04

Part 6 April 5, 2021, 5:22 p.m.

我在祈祷飞机不要掉下去"
I am keeping the plane up with my prayers."
她那样做过吗你记得吗
She did that. Don't you remember?
而我也是这样
And that's-- that's me.
我我
I--I--
我遗传了她脑子里的那些碎碎念
I inherited those bees in my brain
告诉我要是凡事我都能做到完美
that tell me that if I could just do everything perfectly
那我就可以阻止飞机坠毁
then I could keep the plane from crashing.
我当着大家的面毁掉了我的婚姻
You know, I destroyed my marriage publicly
以为自己还能给家人建议
and thought I could still give family advice.
我还跟鸭子上了床
And I slept with a prostitute,
还以为不会影响自己的事业
and then I think it won't affect my career.
糟糕她在胡言乱语了
Oh, shit, she's going down the rabbit hole.
不管怎样人人都有难处
But whatever, we all have our things.
她要是能冷静点
If she would've just calmed down,
我要是能冷静点
if--and then I could've calmed down.
你们知道的
You know,
或许我就能更好地留住幸福
maybe I could be better at being happy.
我的母亲很懂得留住幸福
My mother was very good at being happy.
我的父亲我是说
My father, I mean,
他了解我母亲所有的怪癖
he knew all of my mother's quirks,
但他还是很爱她
and he-- he loved her anyway,
这才是关键
and that's the thing that
尽管我的母亲很疯狂
as crazy as my mother is--
尽管我母亲生前很疯狂
as crazy as my mother was,
但她知道有人很爱她
she knew she was loved.
这就是馈赠
And that's the gift.
这就是馈赠
That is the gift.
太棒了
Mazel tov.
爸太好了你能吃得下东西太好了
Hey, Daddy. Oh, good, I'm glad you're eating.
还不错
Mm. Not bad.
-鲑鱼有点柴了 -是吗
- Salmon's a little dry. - Yeah?
或许下次你该去逛逛札巴超♥市♥
Maybe you should go to Zabar's next time.
你妈妈最喜欢札巴超♥市♥了
Your mother loves Zabar's.
好
Okay.
爸我很快过来
Dad, I'm gonna be right back, okay?
-好玩得开心 -好
- Okay, go have fun. - Yeah.
这可是派对
It's a party.
好
Yeah.
-妈妈看是教练 -我知道
- Mom, look, it's Coach. - Yeah, I know.
我看到了他能来这真是太好了
I can see that. That's very cool that he's here.
你能去找找你姐姐让她下来
Will you go find your sister and tell her that she needs to
吃点东西吗
come down and eat something?
好吧
Come on.
你来了真的是太有
Wow, you here, that is just so
迈克的作风了
Mike of you.
意义重大
It means a lot.
你母亲的事很遗憾艾比
I'm sorry about your mom, Abs.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
你怎么
How did you--
芭芭拉打的电♥话♥
Barbara called.
她也很想到这来
She wishes she could be here.
我知道她在洛杉矶有事
Yeah, I know. She's stuck in L.A.
正在努力挽救我们的事业...
trying to keep our business from crumbling so...
对了还要祝贺你
Congratulations on that, by the way.
"女性部分" 我很喜欢
"Lady Parts," I'm enjoying.
是啊或许是从青春期开始
Yes, probably since puberty.
我有很多这种点子
I got a million of 'em.
天啊我刚才的悼词变成了单口相声
Oh, my God, my eulogy. It turned into a me-logy.
没想到自己会说那些
I can't believe I said all that,
面对着我的孩子和...天啊
like, in front of my kids and--Jesus.
多数悼词都是些屁话
Most eulogies are a load of horse shit.
至少你说的让人难以忘记
At least yours was memorable.
难以忘记你真是太仁慈了
Memorable, that's-- that's very generous.
我想你真正想说的是
I think the actual scripted line is
"也没有那么糟糕"
"It wasn't that bad."
你让爸爸吃药了吗
Did--did you give Dad his medication?
没我还以为你在负责这事
No. I thought you were on top of that.
我要主持悼念仪式
I'm hosting a funeral.
抱歉迈克这是我弟弟麦克斯
Sorry. Mike, this is my brother, Max.
麦克斯这是我朋友迈克
Max, this is my-- my friend, Mike.
你母亲的事很遗憾
Sorry for your loss.
谢谢谢谢你艾比的朋友迈克
Thanks. Thank you, Abby's friend, Mike.
他把药放哪里了
Where--where did you put his pills?
你上次都给爸爸了
You gave them to Dad last.
在楼上我的旧房♥间旁的卫生间里
They're in the bathroom upstairs next to my old room.
好的
Okay.
真抱歉
Sorry about that.
对我们所有人来说这都是压力很大的一天
It's just been a stressful day for all of us.
用不着解释
You don't have to explain.
此刻我有太多要顾及的事情了
I have so much that I need to take care of right now.
-去忙活吧 -好
- Oh, yeah. Go do your thing. - Okay.
很高兴认识你
Nice meeting you.
艾比的悼词可真是
Well, Abby's eulogy was--
有点像恐怖游♥行♥
It was a slight parade of horrors.
-是的 -嗯
- Yeah. - Yeah.
我之前说的并不是在暗示
Hey, I didn't mean to imply earlier that--
别废话我们都摆明了自己的观点
Drop it. We both said our piece.
好吧但是你
Okay, but you do...
你真的值得拥有幸福
deserve to be happy.
朋友们
You guys.
那是迈克·布雷迪吗
Is that Mike Brady?
-独一无二的 -没错
- The one and only. - Uh-huh.
他们说过话了吗
Have they spoken?
-艾比知道吗 -是的
- Does Abby know? - Oh, yeah.
他们之前还在说话然后我就不知道
Yeah, they were talking earlier, then I don't know
艾比跑哪儿去了你都躲哪去了
where Abby went. Where have you been hiding?
我没躲啊我在打电♥话♥呢
I haven't been hiding. I've just been on the phone.
好吧那电♥话♥是什么情况你会说吗
Okay, what is the phone call about? Can you tell us that?
不因为我现在不想被人批判
No. 'Cause I don't feel like being judged right now.
-说什么呢 -你怎么就觉得
- What are you talking about? - What would make you think
-我们会批判你 -拜托
-we'd judge you? - Come on.
经历了拉尔夫和抚养权的事儿你们最坏了
With Ralf and the whole custody thing, you guys were the worst.
菲比我们只是说了实话
Phoebe, we were just being honest.
说出来吧这可是我们俩
Spill it. It's us.
我在卖♥♥我的房♥子
I'm selling my house.
没错几天前我打电♥话♥给房♥产中介了
Yep, I called my realtor a few days ago
她有几个潜在的买♥♥家
and she had a few potential buyers
于是就开工了我的房♥子现在待售
and rushed it and we had an open house,
而且进展很不错
and it went really well.
我知道疯婆子菲比进展太快了
I know. I know. Flaky Phoebe, moving too fast.
把孩子们赶出家不我现在没房♥子住
Uprooting the kids, and no, I don't have a house to live in.
但我想在威尼斯租♥房♥♥子住
But I'm thinking about renting in Venice.
我觉得这是个超赞的主意
I think it'd be a really good idea--
好了够了够了...
Okay, enough, enough, enough, enough.
我觉得你是在做重大决定
I think you're making a great decision.
我觉得这很勇敢
I think it's really brave.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
削减开支很明智
Downsizing is brilliant.
而且对孩子来说威尼斯太棒了
And Venice is great for kids.
它真的是
It really is.
谢谢你们的赞成票
Thank you for your stamp of approval.
马尼舍维茨在哪我需要点酒
Where is the Manischewitz? I need some alcohol.
-太感谢你了 -你还好吗
- Thank you so much. - How are you doing?
我还在从我的悼词里恢复过来
I'm still recovering from my eulogy.
-不那很棒 -那真是
- No, it was great. - Oh, it was--
拜托那简直太尴尬了
Oh, come on, it was embarrassing,
而且迈克还在呢
and then Mike was there.
我觉得他能出现真是太温暖了
I think it's so sweet that he showed up.
很温暖
So sweet
很惊喜也让人很不解
and--and amazing and confusing.