熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S06E13

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2020, 11 p.m.

We love the place.
我们很喜欢这里
I-I think we're ready to buy,
我们准备买♥♥了
unless there's anything else we need to know.
除非你还有什么要告诉我们的
Well, the house is zoned to add another half-bath,
这房♥子设计的时候本来还能再加个淋浴室
and, oh, the last owner murdered his family here.
另外上一任主人在这儿谋杀了自己全家
I mean, not all of them in the house.
其实不全是在房♥子里死的
The wife made it to the street.
妻子最后爬到了街上
Oh, sorry.
抱歉
Why do you keep discouraging people from buying my old house?
为什么你一直不想让人买♥♥我以前的房♥子呢
The guy said he was eight years sober.
那个男的说自己八年没喝过酒了
More like eight years snore-ber.
明明是打了八年呼噜
Right?
对吧
Oh, and look at her.
瞧瞧她
She always has that expression.
她一直那副表情
She's got resting bitch face.
天生的婊♥子♥脸
See, here's the deal --
这么说吧
the cul-de-sac is basically Jules island,
咱们这片基本上就是茱尔斯之岛
and I've always been very careful about
我一直很小心地控制
who's allowed to live on the island.
能够进岛居住的人
Hey, there, neighbors!
看过来邻居们
He was here when I got here.
我来的时候他就在这儿了
Uh, you mind if I use your mug?
介意我用你的杯子吗
No, because it's your mug now.
不介意已经是你的杯子了
Thanks, pony boy.
谢啦娘娘腔
He's calling me pony boy,
他叫我娘娘腔
because he sleep-walked into our bedroom last night
因为他昨晚梦游进我们卧室
and tried to mount me.
想硬上我
It was adorable.
真可爱
Wow, you finally had a threesome
你终于跟格雷森
with Grayson and a family member.
还有一个家人玩了3P了
I always thought it would be Travis.
我一直以为会是跟崔维斯
Me too.
我也以为是
I love having family around.
我喜欢有家人在身边
You know what would be amazing?
我有个很棒的主意
Besides your dad not sleeping nude?
除了让你♥爸♥睡觉穿衣服以外
If Travis and Laurie bought your old house.
如果崔维斯和劳里买♥♥下你的旧房♥子
Shut your mouth.
闭嘴
Deep down, you know you'd like it.
你内心深处肯定是想的
Imaginary knife.
想象有把刀
Thank you.
多谢
You're welcome.
不用谢
Are you guys done?
你们完事儿了吗
Jules, there are enough people
茱尔斯这房♥子里
hanging out in this house already.
平时来往的人已经够多了
We don't need anyone else in our house.
我不希望我们家再来人了
"Our house"?
我们家
Come on, dime eyes.
拜托硬币眼
You know that this house really belongs to Jules and me.
要知道这房♥子可是茱尔斯和我的
You're just our guest.
你只是我们的客人
Are you listening to her?
你听到她的话了吗
You have your own key.
你有自己的钥匙
That's got to count for something.
这应该有点意义吧
第六季第十三集
熟♥女♥镇
All right, I think we all know what's happening tomorrow.
好吧我们应该都知道明天会发生什么了吧
Tomorrow's Thursday, so Jules bleaches her cute little 'stache,
明天是周四茱尔斯要漂白她可爱的小胡子
Ellie gives Stan his weekly hug,
艾莉要给斯坦他的每周一抱
and Travis says he's going to the gym
崔维斯说自己要去健身房♥
but actually goes to the doughnut shop.
可实际上是去甜甜圈店
Muscles are for losers. How would you know?
肌肉是给失败者的你怎么知道的
Tom, do you have everyone's daily schedule memorized?
汤姆你把所有人的日程都记下来了吗
You're gonna kill us all someday, aren't you? I don't know.
你迟早会把我们都干掉的对吧我不知道
What I was going to say is that tomorrow night
我想说的是明天晚上
at 11:48 P.M. is Jules' birthday.
11点48分是茱尔斯的生日
As usual, I assume you are going to do
我猜你会尽你所能
everything in your power to ruin it.
像往年一样把它毁掉的
Well, I'll try not to, but it's probably gonna happen.
我尽量不但很有可能发生
That's exactly how I feel about killing you all.
在干掉你们这点上我也是这么想的
While I know that your expectations
虽然我知道你的期望很高
are so high that no human being could possibly meet them,
可能人类无法完成
This year, you are going to have an amazing birthday.
今年你会有一个超棒的生日
I will defeat you.
我会打败你的
Can't be done.
不可能
I'm way too strong when it comes
遇到可能破坏我幸福的事物时
to sabotaging my own happiness.
我会变得超强大
Everything you do will fall short
和我脑中的主意相比
to what I've built up in my head.
你做的一切都太小儿科了
Well, maybe it would be easier
要是你能不去要一些不可能的礼物
if you didn't ask for presents that were impossible to get.
事情应该会更容易
I've seen a baby Tiger.
我见过一只幼虎
I know they exist.
我知道它们存在
They do.
它们确实存在
I tried to steal you one at a circus last year
我去年在马戏团想给你偷一只来着
and ended up in circus prison.
结果最后进了马戏团监狱
You know those little, red train cars
你知道《小飞象》里面那种
with the bars like in "Dumbo"?
带把手的红色小火车吗
That's what they use for their jails.
他们拿那个做监狱
And F.Y.I., if an animal misbehaves,
我告诉你如果动物犯了错
it gets thrown in the same cell.
也会被丢进这间牢房♥
There was this adorable little monkey --
有一只超可爱的小猴子
apparently he went nuts under the big top
在马戏团帐篷了发了狂
and started running around and ripping the earrings off of women,
开始上蹿下跳还把一个女人耳环扯下来了
you know, lobes and all.
包括她的耳垂
But he ended up actually being, like,
不过它最后却变成一个
a pretty solid little dude.
相当值得信赖的小家伙
He's how I got out of there.
因为有它我才得以脱身
I've always wanted to ask this
每次听你讲完这种荒诞的故事
after one of your ridiculous stories.
我都想问这么一个问题
Is any of that true?
有哪个是真的吗
You'd have to read it back to me.
你得重新给我复述一遍
So, what's this year's insane gift request?
今年的疯狂心愿单是什么
You know, I always thought it would be fun
我一直觉得死了以后
to die and get to see your own funeral.
去参加自己的葬礼会很有趣
Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to hear
能听到人们对自己的评价
what people had to say about you?
不是一件很棒的事吗
You know, to see who was crying and who wasn't?
去看看谁哭了谁没哭
Ooh, I wonder if my first boyfriend would show up.
我还想知道我的初恋男友会不会来
I hope he's fat.
我希望他很胖
Yeah, I don't think they sell that at target.
我觉得超♥市♥不卖♥♥这种服务
Oh, hey, honey.
亲爱的
No, we're having girl coffee time,
不我们在享受闺蜜咖啡时间
So why don't you take baby Bobby
你能不能带一下鲍比宝贝
and just stroll him around the plaza for a bit?
推着他在广场上绕一绕
Okay, babe? Yeah, babe.
好吗宝贝好吧
Why don't you go be Jellybean's bitch
你为什么不去学果冻豆那样
and walk your baby around in a circle?
绕着圈溜孩子
Oh, well, now I'm gonna stay.
我要留下来
I'll just be one of the gals.
我要当你们的闺蜜
All right, let me tell you what's going on with my vagina.
好吧我告诉你我的阴♥道♥发生了什么
Catch you later. What
回见啥
Well played.
干得不错
Imaginary hat.
向你致敬
Imaginary confetti.
撒花庆祝
What are we doing?
我们在干什么
I'm not explaining that to you again.
我不会再跟你解释一遍了
I'm having an annoying problem on the home front.
我在家里有点烦心事
Oh, well, just let Andy do it once and he'll stop asking.
就让安迪做一次吧他以后就不会再问了
What? What?
什么什么
What?
什么
I'm talking about Stan.
我说的是斯坦
The elementary school in Gulfhaven is terrible.
避风湾的小学糟透了