熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S06E11

Part 4 Dec. 8, 2020, 11 p.m.

He still calls me. You know, Travis thinks he's my uncle.
他依然给我打电♥话♥ 崔维斯以为他是我叔叔
That's Uncle Richie?
是里奇叔叔吗
Travis loans him money all the time.
崔维斯一直借给他钱
Look, my point is, you never gave up on me.
听着我想说的是你从来不放弃我
And look at who I am today.
看看我如今变成了怎样的一个人
I believe in you, too, Jules.
我也对你有信心茱尔斯
"When he was nearly 13,
"我哥哥杰姆快十三岁岁时
My brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow."
把胳膊肘摔断了"
That was the 1,000th time I’ve read that sentence.
这句话我都读了一千遍了
Bye, baby.
拜啦宝贝
Bye.
回见
I never stood a chance against Trav.
小崔一说话我就神游了
He started talking about how he first knew really liked Laurie,
一开始他在说他是如何与劳里相爱的
but then his lameness was just too powerful.
后来他在那里不知所云把我催眠了
Trav was tough for me, too. For a while,
小崔确实是个挑战有段时间
I had to walk around with his name written on my hand.
我把他的名字写在手上以提醒自己
Give me a trick to listen to him.
给我也出个主意吧
Dime eyes, eventually you're gonna have to
硬币眼最终你还是要靠自己想出诀窍的
come up with your own tricks, and they're not gonna work
而且你要是不明白自己这么做的出发点
unless you understand why you're doing them.
什么办法都不会管用的
Do you know?
你的出发点是什么
So I don't get in trouble with Jules?
这样我就不会惹茱尔斯生气了
No, because you care about this group,
不对你这样做是因为你在乎这个小团体
and they care that you know stuff about them.
他们很在乎你能够了解他们
That's why I know that you grew up in Kentucky,
所以我才知道你在肯塔基州长大
Your middle name is Shannon,
中间名是香农
and your childhood hero was Vanna White.
你孩童时期的偶像是凡娜·怀特
She's so gentle and patient.
她是如此温柔而有耐心
You know all that stuff about me.
你知道我那么多事
That means you care about me.
你一定很在乎我吧
No, I care about Jules,
不我在乎的是茱尔斯
and she would be mad if I didn't know you.
我要是对你一无所知她会生气的
Maybe I care about you a little.
也许我对你也有一丝丝的在意吧
Anyone want a cookie? Never.
有人要饼干吗不要
I'm good.
我也不要
Fine.
好吧
I'm a man who's happiest
我就爱把手塞裤子里
when he's got a hand stuck into his waistband. So what?
我就爱这样咋啦
I'm not hurting anybody. I can't change.
又碍不着别人反正我改不了
I wanna tell you a story. I don't wanna hear it.
我想给你讲个故事我不想听
It's about my dad. Whee!
是关于我爸的好耶
When I was a kid, my dad taught me everything he knew --
小时候我爸把他知道的一切都教给了我
how to catch fish with a belt,
怎么用皮带捕鱼
the surefire way to impress any girl, you name it.
必杀的泡妞绝招等等
You're so lucky. I thought so, too,
你可真走运我当时也这么想
until I showed up the first day of school
结果我第一天去上学就糗了
with a belt that smelled like trout
腰上的皮带一股鱼腥味
and tried to impress a cute girl with a fart.
泡妞时发了放屁大招
Things didn't go that well.
一切全毁了
My dad was a cross-dresser. I didn't know about boxer shorts
我爸是个异装癖我从没见过平角短裤
until sixth grade sleepaway camp,
直到六年级出去宿营时我才知道
when the other campers made a bonfire out of my thong.
当时其他孩子用我的丁字裤生了个火
So what's the point of all this?
你们到底想说啥
A kid who worships his dad will do anything to be like him.
崇拜爹的娃会竭尽全力效仿他爹
I'm gonna change.
我要改
In a...second.
一会儿...改
** Jules is mad and keeps insisting *
* 茱尔斯怒了要批斗我
* Doesn't know how hard it is *
* 她完全不知道 *
* For me to listen *
* 让我学会倾听有多难 *
* But when I pick up this here guitar *
* 但每当我弹起吉他 *
* It helps me remember just who you are *
* 我就能记起你们的事 *
* Ellie's son, his name is Stan *
* 艾莉的儿子叫斯坦 *
* And Andy used to be a money man *
* 安迪过去是个投资家 *
* Laurie dated Charlie Sheen *
* 劳里约过查理·辛 * [影视明星]
* And my girl Jules was prom queen *
* 我的妞茱尔斯曾是舞会皇后 *
* Made up a word like "Brazelian" *
* 自造了个词"八西" *
* To remember Tom's last name's Gazelian *
* 就为了记住汤姆的姓盖茨里安 * [音似]
* Andy loves his oatmeal pies *
* 安迪喜欢燕麦派 *
* And Travis saw "Avatar" 19 times *
* 崔维斯看了19遍《阿凡达》 *
* 19 times? Really, 19 times?! *
* 19遍啊19遍真的假的 *
* Ellie's birthday is May 28th *
* 艾莉的生日是5月28日 *
* And Laurie’s first word was "incarcerate" *
* 劳里会说的第一个词是"监禁" *
** Andy’s hands go in his pants *
* 安迪总爱把手塞裤子里
** But that don't mean he's freaky *
* 但这并不意味他是个变♥态♥
** That don't mean he's freaky *
* 但这并不意味他是个变♥态♥
** Now let's bring it back to Jules *
* 我们再来说说茱尔斯
** Her middle name is...*
* 她的中间名是...
** Bitch, please, that's my wife *
* 拜托那可是我老婆
** I know her name is Kiki *
* 我当然知道是琪琪
** And that's my new climb-the-mountain *
* 这是我的人生新高峰
** Pay attention, learn-to-listen *
* 注意倾听学会倾听
** Song *
* 歌♥
See, from now on, anything you want me to remember,
打今儿起你们想让我记住啥
just tell me to song it, and I'll just add another verse.
就让我一唱我再加段主歌♥就行啦
I love it, babe. I'm proud of you!
太棒了宝贝我超为你骄傲的
And I am proud ofyou.
我也为你骄傲
Everybody, let's give it up for Jules
各位掌声鼓励茱尔斯
for reading a book!
她终于能读书啦
I'm not applauding that.
我觉得没啥可鼓掌的
Well, I' not gonna lie. Wasn't easy.
说真的读书真难
I feel like that book took something away from me
感觉书好像从我身上夺走了一些
that I will never be able to get back.
我再也无法夺回的东西
Well, I'll tell you one thing --
我给你们说
I will never read another book again.
我以后再也不读书了
We not clapping that one? Sorry.
这个不用鼓掌吗抱歉
And finally, everyone,
最后呢各位
Can we take a look at Andy Torres over here?
瞧瞧我们的安迪·托瑞斯
Who is standing before you with no hand down his pants!
终于把手从裤子里掏出来啦
Okay! No, thanks.
赞不用了
Seriously, I kicked the habit.
真的我改正了
Hey, look, I know you're skeptical.
好吧我知道你们都很怀疑
But trust me, he's cured.
但相信我他真的改了
If he wasn't, would I let him do this?
要不然我能让他这样么
Go ahead, Andy.
来吧安迪
Oh, god.
天呐
What'd I tell ya?
看见没
I kicked the habit!
我真的改正啦
I-I can't hear 'cause you're covering my ears.
我听不到你把我耳朵盖住了
I didn't kick the habit,
我其实没改
but I promise not to do it in front of you or Stan.
但以后我绝不再你们和斯坦面前塞裤裆
Don't tell Trav. Deal?
别告诉小崔好吗
Impressed? Song it, babe.
了不起吧唱一个宝贝
** And Trav just had balls on his face *
* 小崔的脸刚间接接触蛋蛋了
What?
什么
Hey, babe.
宝贝
Oh. Uh, yeah, I just -- I can't.
打住... 我受不了
Is this because how Andy violated my face?
因为安迪侵犯了我的脸吗
I just keep seeing this weird vision.
我脑海中一直出现这样的画面
And for some reason, you're in a steam room,
你在一间桑拿房♥里
and you're unconscious because you've just been roofied.
被人下了迷♥药♥ 不省人事
And Andy comes in and he...
安迪进来了
very gently places the package portion of his junk
然后轻轻地把裆部
on your face.
贴在你的脸上
And it looks like a wet grocery bag.
看起来就像湿透的杂货袋一样
Look, I've showered five times.
我洗了五遍
I scrubbed my cheeks until I drew blood.
把脸洗到出血
This is clean.
我很干净
Okay? We have to be able to kiss again.
好吗我们总不能以后都不亲了吧
I know. You know what? You're right. I'm sorry.
你说得对对不起
You're right.
我错了