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Mate, I'm gonna count to three, right?
-然后我就要进来了 -保罗
- And then I'm coming the fuck in, right? ‐ Paul!
怎么了
What?
亲爱的 你继续
You carry on, love.
你在干什么 你知道他需要安静
What are you doing? You know he needs silence.
他是在拉屎 又不是拆炸♥弹♥
He's having a shit, not defusing a bomb.
你今天抽什么风
What has got into you today?
莱尼
Lenny.
莱尼
Lenny.
那只该死的熊
The fucking bear.
其他的家长 其他的家庭
Every other parent, every other family,
全带它去了独特的 神奇的 好玩的地方
has managed to take him somewhere exotic, magical, and fun.
而我们甚至没法带它离开家
We've not even been able to get out our fucking house.
长颈鹿在哪
Where's Giraffe?
好了 冷静点
All right, stay calm.
我 此时此刻 准备好要启用
I am, at this point, prepared to smash the glass
应急长颈鹿了
on emergency Giraffe.
谢谢你 太好了
Thank you. Good.
长颈鹿在哪
Where's Giraffe?
给你 我找到他了
Here, I found him.
没事了
All good.
多谢了
Hey, thank you.
等等 她的身体可能会排斥它
Wait. Her body might reject it,
像肝移植那样
like a liver transplant.
给你手♥机♥ 对不起
Here's your phone. Sorry.
没事的 伙计 没关系
That's all right, mate. That's fine.
万分感激 现在我能问一下吗
Thank you very much. Now, can I just check,
大家都准备好出门了吗
is everyone finally ready to go?
-对 -行 很好
- Yeah. - Okay, fine.
谢谢你
Thank you.
好 走走走
Right, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
谢谢你
Thank you.
这种天气我们可不能出门
We are not going out in that.
这雨太大了
That is very big rain.
没有很大啊 就是走五分钟的路
Come on, not really. It's five minutes' walk.
游五分钟的泳还差不多 你看看
Five minutes' swim. Look at it.
谁都不许出门
No one's going anywhere.
不行 爱丽 我们得去公园
No, Ally, we need to go to the park
为了那只熊
because of the bear.
去它的熊 孩子们会得肺炎的
Sod the bear. The kids will get pneumonia.
行 好吧
Right, fine.
好吧
Okay.
你停一停好不好
How about you just stop?
就停一分钟
Just stop for a minute.
哪怕他妈一秒呢 你个肮脏的混♥蛋♥
Fucking second, you filthy bastard.
爸爸是在和谁讲话呀
Who's Daddy talking to?
他在和雨讲话
He is talking to the rain.
为什么呀
Why?
因为他今天就只关心这个了
Because that is what he has chosen to care about today.
老天 莱尼可真见识了不少地方 对吧
Christ, Lenny has really seen some places, hasn't he?
牙买♥♥加 悉尼 孟买♥♥
Jamaica, Sydney, Mumbai,
佛罗伦萨
Florence.
那只熊比我活得滋润
Yeah, that bear's had a better life than me.
你跟一只熊吃什么醋 保罗
You can't be jealous of a bear, Paul.
它活得他妈和博诺一样
He's lived like fucking Bono.
爱尔兰摇滚乐队U2的主唱兼旋律吉他手
或许吧 可他没有屌♥
Maybe, but he doesn't have a penis.
谁 博诺吗
Who, Bono?
争风吃醋没有好下场 你知道的吧
Jealousy's a killer. You know that?
亲爱的
Hey, hon.
又收到了一些追悼的花束
Some more death flowers arrived.
我对追悼的花枯萎都要过敏了
I am sick to death of death flowers.
是谁送的
Who are they from?
没谁
No one in particular.
怎么 这是匿名送的吗
What, are they anonymous or something?
利亚姆 是利亚姆送的
Liam. They're from Liam.
这真古怪
That's weird.
不怪吗
Is it weird?
大男人给他已故的老丈人送花
Man sends flowers to dead ex-father-in-law.
利亚姆很敬佩迈克尔
Liam admired Michael,
虽然迈克尔觉得他有一点
even though Michael thought he was a bit--
一文不值的臭狗屎
Worthless preening shit?
枯燥无味
Dull.
-能把卡片给我看看吗 -可以啊
- Can I see the card? - Yeah.
谢了
Thanks.
"远方有片天地 对错早已无异
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
你我相会有期
"there is a field. I'll meet you there.
此致吾爱 利亚姆" 这都是什么
All my love, Liam." What is that?
鲁米
Rumi.
东罗马帝国诗人
"诗坛四柱"之一
-诗人 -我知道
- Poet. - Yeah, I know.
爸生前喜欢他的作品 所以
Dad liked his work, so...
谁都可以引用诗歌♥
Well, anyone can quote poetry.
我也可以引用诗歌♥
I can quote poetry.
-你还是别… -好 我不了
‐ Don't make this... ‐ Okay, I'm not.
-很好 因为这并不是比赛 -我知道
‐ Good, because it isn't. ‐ I know it isn't, babe.
谢谢
Thank you.
喂 你好
Hey. Uh, yeah.
又是我 真的非常抱歉 但
Me again. I'm sorry, but I am
我求求你再给我宽限些时间吧
begging you to give me more time.
我知道 我知道下雨了
I know, I know. I know it's raining,
我也很抱歉事情变得如此折磨人
and I'm so sorry that it's been an ordeal,
但我…
but I‐‐
理想状况 一小时
Well, ideally, an hour.
不行吗 好吧
No? Okay.
半小时呢
Um, half an hour?
20分钟呢
20 minutes?
拜托了
Please?
那就20分钟
20 minutes it is.
我们马上过去 非常感谢
Uh, w‐we'll be right there. Thank you so much.
准备 一 二 三
Ooh, one, two, three.
一个小知识点
Do you know that trick?
闪电之后你数了几秒钟
You count the seconds after the flash,
这闪电离我们就有几英里
and that's how many miles away it is.
我觉得天要变晴了
You know what? I think it's clearing up.
-真的吗 -嗯
‐ Really? ‐ Mm.
我看着还是很阴啊
It looks pretty heavy to me.
不不不 我的天气软件上说
No, no, no. According to my app,
这场雨 这上面写的是"降水"
the rain will‐‐ well, it says "precipitation"‐‐
大约4分钟后就会停了
will stop in about four minutes.
我把雨靴找出来
So I'm digging out the Wellies.
快数 一
Oh, count. One‐‐
没事的 没事的
It's okay. It's okay.
好吧 可能还要等一会
Yeah, probably give it a minute.
别着急 迟到也没什么大不了的
Let's just be okay with‐‐ with being late.
给你父母发短♥信♥ 告诉他们在树下避避雨
Text your parents and tell them to shelter under a tree.
其实不能在树下避雨 你可能会死掉
Actually, don't do that. That can kill you, can't it?
好 我给我爸打个电♥话♥
Yeah, I'll call Dad.
看这美丽的巴巴多斯
Fucking Barbados.
爸 爸 听着
Dad, Dad, listen.
我需要你帮我一个忙[干扰]
I'm gonna need you to run some interference
你去公园旁边的老冰淇淋店
at the old ice cream place near the park.
是的 麦克里迪
Yeah, Macready's.
我跟你说下
I'll tell you‐‐
等一下 有人来家里了
Uh, hang on. There's someone at the door.
-你好 -你好啊
- Hello. - Hello.
老天爷 我还以为你们会在公园等我们呢
Oh, for f‐‐I thought you were gonna meet us there.
这种天等什么等
In this weather?
你好 爸
Hi, Dad.
天啊
Oh, dear.
-大家好 -嗨
‐ Hello! ‐ Hi.
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