年年（2019）

哦天啊
Oh, my God.
瞧瞧你的脸
Look at your face!
你现在在哪里 这是哪儿
Where are you now? Where's that?
这是Claude家 我正和他在一起
Claude's. I'm staying with Claude.
他在厨房♥里 警告你一下 别搞砸了
He's there in the kitchen, just to warn you. Do not whack it out!
我不会的 -哦 我会的
I wasn't going to.Well, I would!
HE LAUGHS
不过你还好吧 我是说 你没被逮捕吧
You all right, though? I mean, you're not under arrest, are you?
没有 我很好 我保证
No, it's fine, I promise.
还有个好消息告诉你 -英国在一天内驱逐了200人
One good thing, Britain deported 200 people in one day.
其中55个人到了基辅
55 to Kiev.
所以你懂的 会有很多人和我一起
So you know, that's a lot of people.
这对我有利 -但你在政♥府♥的名单上
It helps. But you're on a government list.
我不想再抗争了 我只想离开
I don't want to fight. I just want to go.
在回来之前我会按照他们所说的做
Till then, I will do what they say.
我会谨言慎行
I will live discreetly.
谨言慎行
Live discreetly.
在那之前我会一直这么低调生活的
Until I come home.
我可以飞出国
I could fly out.
这么做够谨慎吗 -我不知道
Is that discreet? I don't know.
够吗
Is it?
我也不知道
I don't know.
上帝啊
God.
就现在而言 我们得谨慎行事
Just for now, we will be discreet.
我爱你
I love you.
嗯
Yeah.
我也爱你
I love you.
但那些人能够监听我们的通话吗
But can they listen to this?
我不知道
I don't know.
CLAMOURING AND CHANTING
这个国家和我离开的时候完全不一样了
This is a different country to the one I left.
那会儿没人关心补缺选举的事 一定是疯了
No-one used to care about by-elections. It's gone mad.
是啊 我们现在都太激进了 -哪方面？ -所有
Yeah. We're all bloody furious now. What about?Everything.
在家里的时候我没妨碍到你吧
I'm not getting in your way at home?
因为你总跟在我后面打扫 就好像 我每走一步
Just cos you keep cleaning up after me,
like, every time I make a move,
你就到那儿打扫 我就 我只是想知道你是不是想让我搬走
you're there, cleaning, and I just...
well, I just wondered if you'd rather that I went.
不不 你在我家我很高兴 我只是…
No, no. I love having you there. It's just...
你知道的 照顾妈妈做化疗的时候
Well, you know with Mum when she was on chemo,
那些药物是有放射性的 所以
the drugs are radioactive, so,
“别碰任何尿液 别碰呕吐物”
"Don't touch any urine, don't touch vomit,
“别碰任何体液” -久而久之形成了习惯
"don't touch any bodily fluids" and it kind of got to me.
我是说 那会儿我每天 整天都戴着手套陪着她
I mean, I was with her all day, every day, and I wore gloves,
擦洗一切 但是…
scrubbed everything, but...
你没有放射性对吧
You're not radioactive, are you?
不 我没有 -我不是嫌弃你 我只是考虑到孩子们 你懂的 而且…
No! No, I'm not. I just keep thinking of the boys, you know, and...
我不会那么对你的 我发誓
I wouldn't do that to you, I swear.
我的情况和化疗不一样 岩石放出的辐射还更多呢
It doesn't work like that, anyway. You get more radiation off rocks.
哦我的天
Oh, my God!
APPLAUSE
加油 Vivienne
Go on, Vivienne!
你现在支持她了 -不 我还没决定好呢
Are you on her side now? No, I haven't made my mind up yet.
加油 Viv 喔
Go on, Viv! Woo!
CHANTING AND CLAMOURING
BOOING
我认为你的政党让我们失望了 Stan
I think that your party has let us down, Stan
就像以前的保守党一样 像你们这些政客一样
just like the Conservatives, just like all of you -
因为欧盟正在惩罚我们
because Europe is punishing us.
他们实施禁运 征收出口关税和边境限制
They're imposing embargoes, export tariffs and border restrictions.
我们受够了 可你们做了什么呢 什么都没做
We're fed up, and what are you doing? Nothing.
出口关税？
Export tariffs?
是的 -他们征收出口关税吗
Yes. They impose export tariffs?
这简直是奇耻大辱
It's a disgrace.
什么是出口关税
What's an export tariff?
我指的是一般的关税
I mean, tariffs in general.
想想看 如果他们要征收出口关税的话
See, if they impose an export tariff,
那将由他们支付这笔税
then they would pay the export tariff themselves.
我们不用交钱 而是他们交
We don't pay. They do.
你真的知道出口关税是什么吗
Do you actually understand that?
LAUGHTER
不是 但我... -你看 我觉得你什么都不懂
No, but I...You see, I don't think you understand anything.
这是非常详细而明确的信息
This is very detailed and precise information,
而你甚至都还没开始了解它
and you don't even begin to understand it.
Rook女士 你只是在说大话而已
You're just saying words, Mrs Rook.
DISSENTING NOISES
现在 由来自四星党的Vivian
Rook发表结束致辞
And now, closing remarks from Vivian Rook, Four Star Party.
谢谢 也谢谢这些和我一起的候选人
Thank you. And thank you to my fellow candidates.
我今晚一直很谦逊 也学到了很多
I've been humbled tonight. I've learnt a lot.
现在的我肯定已经知道什么是出口
关税
I certainly know what an export tariff is now,
但在刚才我不禁注意到：
一个女人竟不被允许犯哪怕一个错误
although I can't help noticing that
a woman is not allowed one mistake.
噢 别这样做
Oh, don't do that!
我感到很困惑：我们一直在被问及战略
I wonder. We've been asked about strategies,
政策方面的问题 -而又有人指责我的回答含糊不清
policies. I've been accused of sounding vague.
我想 也许可以说 我是个谨慎的人
I think I am, perhaps, cautious.
但 我其实是害怕
No, I'm scared.
真的 考虑到摆在我面前的任务之大 我很害怕
I am. I am terrified, given the size of the task in front of me.
你们中有谁见过这个吗
Has any of you seen one of these?
它在电视上出现过 极度违法 是从台♥湾♥走私过来的
They've been on the telly - highly illegal, smuggled in from Taiwan.
今晚我的发言结束后
I will be surrendering this to the police
我会把它交给警♥察♥
但是对在座不了解的人来说
它被称为Blink
when we are done here tonight.
But for those of you who don't know, this is called a blink.
Blink是网络恐♥怖♥分♥子♥制♥造♥的一种武器
A blink is a weapon created by cyber terrorists.
一旦它开始运行......
And it goes....
BLEEP
Blink.
CROWD MURMUR
就能让所有电子设备都失效...
It takes out every online device...
她不能这样做 -...在周围30米内的
She can't do that! ..within a 30-metre radius.
INDISTINCT OUTRAGE
如果你们不介意的话 我在讲话呢
-你不能这样做 -假如你们离开手♥机♥五分钟都受不了..
If you don't mind, I'm talking and
if you can't manage without your phone for five minutes...
-你不能那样 -不能像正常人一样...
You can't do that!..while we talk to each other face-to-face...
-你没有权力这么做 -面对面地交谈
You can't just do that! ..like human beings...You have no right.
..那世间万物的意义又何在呢 各位 -你真恶心
..then what is the point of anything, sir? Disgusting!
因为我会更进一步
Because I would go further.
我会让Blink合法化
I would legalise the blink.
我会把它们交给每一个家长 每一位老师 每一所学校
I would give one of these to every parent, every teacher, every school.
我会每天在每间教室 每个家庭
激活Blink
I would activate the blink in every classroom, every home, every day,
因为你们知道我做过什么吗
because do you know what I did?
我浏览了我教女的手♥机♥
I looked on my goddaughter's phone.
她今年六岁
She is six years old.
她才六岁啊
She is six years old.
但你们知道我在这个六岁小女孩的
手♥机♥里看到了什么吗
And do you know what I saw on the phone of that six-year-old girl?
在这个国家每一个六岁的女孩的手♥机♥上 在这个完全
On the phone of every six-year-old girl in the country? On the phone
文明开化的世界里 每个六岁孩子们的手♥机♥上
of every six-year-old girl and boy in the entire civilised world,
我看到了这个
I saw this.
GROANS OF DISGUST
嘿 你这是作弊 -哦 天哪
Hey, this is cheating! Oh, God!
我们不允许用视频来辅助演说
We are not allowed to use visual aids.
重新打你的小算盘吧 Stan 这就是手♥机♥里的东西
Get a new plan, Stan! This is the filth on the phones.
看看 你们看看啊
Look at it! Look at it!
因为我们的孩子就是这样做的 --源源不断的黄♥片♥进入我们孩子
Because our children do - nonstop porn streaming into our children's
的眼里
eyes all day.
那边的伙计 你还笑 -你难道还因为给小孩看黄♥片♥而感到骄傲吗
You there, laughing,
mate, are you proud of this nonstop porn for kids?
这样才对 -不可思议啊
That's nice.Amazing.
作为你们的议员 容我保证 我会代表你们去议会
Let me guarantee, as your MP, I will go to Parliament on your behalf
我会找到那些在加州的CEO们 那些高科技巨头
and I will find those CEOs in California, those hi tech giants,
我会让他们回到这里 - 而不是出现
those men, and I will bring them back here not to appear in front
在专责委员会的面前
of a Select Committee -
我会把他们带来这 来接受审判
I will bring them here to stand trial.
我会把他们带来这 判他们有罪
I will bring them here to find them guilty.
我会把他们带来这 让他们入狱
I will bring them here to jail them.