年年（2019）

# Happy birthday to you... #
（欢呼）
CHEERING
就是这样 我失业了 因为我的老板基本上都是美国人
So that's it. I'm out of work. My bosses are basically Americans.
有了这些制裁措施 他们要撤离英国市场了
With all these sanctions, they're going to withdraw.
-但他们应该结清你的工资 -他们说不
You'll get a payoff, though. They're saying no.
他们说“有本事你就把我们告上法庭”
They're saying, "Take us to court. Tough!"
我需要腾出一些周转资金 所以我们打算卖♥♥掉这栋房♥子
I need to free up some capital, so we'll have to sell this house.
我们要缩减开支 搬到一个更小的地方对我们来说也足够
We're downsizing. We just need somewhere small.
我绝不搬家！绝不！
I'm not moving! I'm not!
这是一种叫做“Towntime”的现象
It's a phenomenon that's being called "Towntime".
千禧年一代们看到了工作可以在家里进行的巨大变化
The 2000s saw a huge move to work from home,
但人们在家里基本上都只是在贪恋食色
but people at home basically eat and masturbate.
所以“Towntime”呼吁人们返回到办公室工作
So, Towntime calls for a return to the office job -
在周一早上 九点
Monday morning, 9am.
我很荣幸地宣布无人机公园正式开放
It's my honour to declare the drone park officially open!
（鼓掌）
APPLAUSE, DRONES BUZZ
祝你好运！一路顺风！
Good luck! Bon voyage!
不要去我家哦
Don't go to my house!
我不在家！
I'm not in!
作为北方发电站的一名议员，我保证每一个失去工作的人
As MP to the Northern Powerhouse, I promise that for every job lost,
都将得到一份工作
there will be a job gained.
这支无人机舰队将是曼彻斯特的骄傲
This fleet of drones will be the pride of Manchester.
正如你所看见的...
As you can see...
SCREAMING
哦，天啊！你刚才看到了么
我们的国会议员被斩首了
Oh, my God! Have you just seen?
My MP's been decapitated!
对于Archi这是个不幸的事
It's terrible news about Archie,
但我不禁觉得这是具有象征意义的
but I can't help feeling it's symbolic.
我在此以最崇高的敬意宣布
I hereby declare, with the greatest of respect,
我将参加他的选区的议员补选
that I will be standing in the by-election for his constituency.
开玩笑吗
Seriously?
我现在正在看呢 Viv Rook
I'm watching her now -Viv Rook.
所以，她会成为我们的议员吗
So, she's going to be my MP?
不，她不会 我早就跟你说过了
No, she isn't. I told you.
你敢为她投票
Don't you dare vote for her.
你不投她我可以给你钱
I will give you money not to vote.
好的 那就说定了
All right, then. That's a deal.
好了得挂了 付我现金哦 拜拜
Right, got to go. Pay me in cash. Bye!
你知道她领导我们，对么 -Viv Rook？
You know she owns us, don't you? -Viv Rook?
现在他们已经私有化了住房♥，我们成了石岩控股公♥司♥的一部分
Now they've privatised housing, we're part of Stonerock Holdings.
而董事会里...
And on the board...
COMPUTER BEEPS
哦，天哪 -她成了我的老板！
Oh, my God - she's my boss!
这是我建功立业...
This is my chance at last...
为我的国家服务的最后机会了
..to honour my country and to serve it.
KNOCK ON WINDOW
你的温室，它不是很安全
Your greenhouse, it's not very safe.
SHE CHUCKLES
这么多年来人们一直都这么说
People have been saying that for years.
我让一个人进去看看
I got a man in to look at it,
但有一部分落在了他的头上
but part of it fell on his head.
他就再也没有回来了
He never came back.
就算这样，你还是应该小心
You should be careful, though.
维克多 这所房♥子里所有的财产都是我父亲的
Viktor, all of the money in this house was my father's.
但他在1976年的时候破产了
And he lost it in 1976.
从那以后，我们再也负担不起这个地方
We haven't been able to afford this place ever since.
让它慢慢的腐烂吧
Let it rot - gently.
而我会活下去
I'll survive.
丹 说说你的父母吧...
Dan said about your parents...
是... -他们把你举报给了警♥察♥
Yeah...they reported you to the police.
说句公道话，他们认为这是他们的责任
In fairness, they thought it was their duty.
他们是基♥督♥徒
They're Christians.
我是说，这真的伤害到了他们
I mean, it genuinely hurts them.
你原谅他们了吗
Do you forgive them?
我正在尽力
I have to try.
人♥渣♥
Rubbish.
他们很恶心
They're disgusting.
你父母都是令人作呕的人 明白吗
Your mother and father are disgusting people. Is that clear?
我自己并非没有偏见
I'm not without prejudice myself.
我不喜欢伦敦人
I don't like Londoners.
而且我不喜欢在室内戴太阳镜的人
And I don't like people who wear sunglasses indoors.
但是你...
But you...
..你非常美
..you're beautiful -
不管是基♥督♥看来 还是我看来
in the eyes of Christ and in the eyes of myself.
明白了吗 懂了吧
Is that clear? Have you got that?
明白了 -如果你想来这，随时都可以来 随时
Yes.And you're very welcome here for the rest of your life.
诶 别哭啊
Oh, don't cry!
我可不会安慰你哦
You're not going to get a hug or anything.
谢谢
Thank you.
我觉得这样会很不错 -就我们俩人
I thought this would be nice -just the two of us.
毕竟你也开始上班了 我们就像一起吃工作餐的闺蜜一样
Hey, now that you're working, we can be ladies who lunch.
你能来真是太好了 -请问你们要点些饮料吗
That's great. Thanks very much. Can I take a drinks order?
我们得先看看 能先给我们几分钟看看菜单吗
We'll just have a look. Give us a couple of minutes?
能告诉我为什么吗 你♥爸♥爸说你宁愿付租金也不想搬走
I want you to explain. Your dad said you offered to pay rent,
但说真的 咱们没有必要呀
but there really is no need, honestly.
我在秋天之前应该都一直会有工作
I've got work until the autumn.
高层员工的处理结果十月份才会出
Height of Essence isn't pulling out until October,
所以咱们家现在还过得下去
so there's no emergency.
我们不会挨饿的 不过在那之后...
We won't starve. And after that...
嗯...好吧 也许你可以给我一些建议
Well... Well, maybe you can give me advice.
我上大学的时候 他们总说会计是个铁饭碗
When I went to university, they said accountancy was a job for life.
但是现在 唉 多亏了你们这些AI工程师的功劳
But now - thanks to your lot -
人工智能可以在很短的时间里就把我的工作做好
artificial intelligence can do my job in one second flat.
我在各方面… 都可以说很多余的
I'm going to be quite literally redundant in every way.
你能给我打个电♥话♥吗 -哈？
Will you call me?Sorry?
你能给我打个电♥话♥吗 -你是说打电♥话♥给你？
Will you call me? -You mean telephone you?
对 -什么时候 现在？
Yes. When?Now.
但你现在就坐在这里啊 -因为我想告诉你一件事
But you're sitting right here. This is why I wanted to have lunch.
就给我打个电♥话♥嘛 现在
Will you just phone me? Now?
PHONE RINGS
听得到吗 嗨
Hello, Bethany speaking.Hello.
你是想给Bethany打电♥话♥吗 -是的
Are you phoning for Bethany?Yes.
你在做什么 -我是Bethany 听得见吗
What are you doing?This is Bethany. Can you hear me?
嘿 你就坐在我面前欸
Well, you're right in front of me.
但你能在电♥话♥里听到我的声音吗
But can you hear me down the phone?
天啊
Oh, my gosh!
在电♥话♥里能听到我的声音吧
This is me, on the phone.
我把芯片植入了我的手里 现在我的手就是电♥话♥
I had it implanted. My hand is the phone.
我可以边走边说 因为现在我也在打电♥话♥—植入我手里面的电♥话♥
I can walk, and talk, cos I'm on thephone
- the phone inside my hand.
换个说法 我就是一部手♥机♥
I am the phone.
以后的手♥机♥就会是这个样子
This is what phones are going to be from now on.
人和手♥机♥融合了
I have integrated.
谢谢你的来电
Thank you for your call.
皮下植入物
Subdermal implants.
它们通过我的动作充电 就像一个可以自动上链的手表
They charge themselves with motion like a self-winding watch.
它连通在了22个网络上
And it's on the 22 network.
我能收到来自英国大♥陆♥95%的信♥号♥♥ 明年会是98%
I get signal across 95% of UK mainland, 98 by next year.
我给你打电♥话♥的时候 它响了
When I phoned you, it was ringing.
你在响？！
YOU were ringing.
是扬声器啦
That's the speaker.
这么小 行吧 但...
So small!OK, but...
你什么时候完成这些植入的
When did you get this done?
在温彻斯特的那个课程里 我每天晚上都能搞定一根手指
That course in Winchester? I had one finger done every night.
虽然我要打电♥话♥的话还是需要一部手♥机♥ 看
I still need to choose a handset, to phone out. Look.
PHONE RINGS
你好
Hello?
嗨
Hi!
好吧 但你竟然背着我去做了手术
OK. But, look, I can't believe
you had surgery without telling me!
是皮下植入 不是手术
Skinplants - not surgery.
而且我知道你肯定会生气的
And I knew you'd be cross.
但我已经18岁了 你18岁的时候就已经有纹身了
But I'm 18, and you had that tattoo when you were 18,
这是一样的道理
and it's the same sort of thing.
我想问你...