韦恩

Wayne S01E02

Part 1 May 19, 2020, 2:16 p.m.

我们也得睡觉啊
We gotta sleep too!
啥
Huh?
我屁♥股♥疼
My ass hurts!
啥
Huh?
我屁♥股♥疼
My ass hurts.
操
Fuck!
欢迎来到罗得岛州
海洋之州
你知道我们早晚要睡觉的吧
We're sleeping at some point, right?
一会差不多就能睡了
We should probably sleep soon!
废腿一条
Dead fucking leg.
操
Fuck.
这是
It's, uh...
给你垫屁♥股♥的
for your butt.
这都是啥
What's all this shit?
早餐
Breakfast.
我做了...早餐
I made, um, breakfast.
不错再吃一次狗逼肉条我就吐了
Good. 'Cause I ain't eating that goddamned jerky again.
-谢了 -客气
- Thanks. - Welcome.
鸡肉吗
This chicken?
兔肉
No, rabbit.
-再他妈说一遍 -兔肉
- What the fuck'd you say? - Well, rabbit.
我见了你的大头鬼韦恩
What the fuck, Wayne?
韦恩
第一季第二集
第二章
不要牧师
马萨诸塞州布拉克顿
布拉克顿警署
建立于1821年
史蒂芬·盖勒警司
好的
Okay, uh...
好
Okay.
警司我们有点情...
Hey, Sarge, we got a pro...
-等一下我没有... -没事
- But, wait now, I wasn't... - No,
大家都是男人警司
it's the most natural thing there is, Sarge.
不用解释我懂的
Don't say nothing. I understand.
-听我讲杰伊... -有时候性致来了
- Listen to me, Jay... - I go to the Evidence Room
我就去物证室撸一发
when I wanna handle mine, so...
-别说了杰伊 -给老二做做伸展运动...
- Stop, Jay. - I just stretched outta my gourd...
杰伊!
Jay!
我刚刚只是在检查
I was checking myself...
有没有得癌症
for cancer.
你得癌症了警司
You got cancer, Sarge?
没有我没那么说杰伊
No, I didn't say that, Jay.
我姑姑琳达刚刚得了癌症
My Aunt Linda just had cancer.
悲剧重演了我心态崩了
I can't go through this twice.
-听我说杰伊 -这个世界太疯狂了
- Listen to me, Jay. - This world is a nightmare.
-癌症都他妈成家常了 -杰伊杰伊
- It's a goddamn nightmare. - Jay. Jay!
你能不能
Will you please just...
解释一下刚才风风火火闯进来干什么
explain to me why you burst in here like that?
抱歉
Sorry.
博比·卢切蒂在大门口
Well, Bobby Luccetti's out front.
你知道他这混♥蛋♥ 变着法地给人使坏
You know that guy, he's a prick eight fucking ways.
长话短说他说有个小混混去他家里
Long story short, he says some kid came to his house
袭击了他和他俩儿子
and assaulted him and his boys in their own home,
也许还绑♥架♥了他女儿
and maybe kidnapped his daughter.
据掌握的情况看他女儿可能是和那个小混混一起跑了
Now, for all we know, she could've ran off with the kid.
但不管怎么说她才十五岁所以情况不妙
But, either way, she's 15, so, we have a situation.
你知道我刚才没在自♥慰♥吧
Now, you know I wasn't masturbating, right?
所以我们都跑这么远了
So, uh, here we are.
是啊
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah.
奶♥子♥
-想好喝什么了吗 -嗯
- You guys know what you wanna drink? - Yes.
咖啡吧
Uh, coffee.
才多大就喝咖啡
Coffee? How old are you?
不知道你多大
I don't know, how old are you?
就想告诉你你们这个年龄喝咖啡还太早
Well, you're a little young to be drinking coffee, is all.
你这个年龄戴颈链也太装嫩
And you're a little old to be wearing that choker, is all.
但我们要的就是随心所欲对吧特蕾西
But the heart wants what the heart wants, right, Tracey?
咖啡你呢
Coffee. You?
咖啡
Coffee.
谢啦特蕾西
Thank you, Tracey.
我要吃华夫饼
I'm gonna get waffles.
-好吃吗 -华夫饼吗
- Is it good? - Waffles?
嗯好吃吗
Yeah. Are they good?
-华夫饼都没吃过吗 -没有
- You ain't never had a goddamn waffle? - I don't think, no.
活见鬼了你是"沉睡野人"吗
Jesus fuck. You're like "Encino Man."
1992年由莱斯·梅菲尔德导演的美国喜剧电影
-那是啥 -电影
- What's that? - It's a movie.
别跟我说电影你都没看过
You've seen a movie before, right?
-看过一次 -好
- Yeah, I've seen a movie. - All right.
这部电影是讲一个《指环王》里演过霍比特人的男的
Well, this one is where the Hobbit guy from "Lord of the Rings"
电影中虚构的身材矮小的种族
在冰层里发现了一个冻成标本的洞穴人
finds a caveman frozen in ice
他把洞穴人给解冻复活了
and then he unfreezes him back alive,
但是他是个洞穴人所以他不懂
but he's a caveman, so he doesn't know
现代社会的任何事情
what anything in the modern world is,
所以霍比特男就教他怎么滑板什么的
so the Hobbit guy teaches him how to, like, skateboard and shit.
《指环王》是什么
What's "Lord of the Rings"?
我彻底服气了
Shit's sake.
跟我一起过一遍案情吧
All right, walk me through the incident, please.
史蒂芬·盖勒警司
好一个小混混大概十六七岁
Okay. Kid, I don't know, 16, 17 years old,
闯进我的家
breaks into my fucking house.
袭击了我俩儿子
And he assaults my boys over there,
毁了好好的一个电视
busts up a perfectly good Zenith,
还他妈咬掉了我鼻子
and he bites off my fucking nose.
-老天爷 -是啊
- Jesus. - Yeah.
现在鬼知道这个小混♥蛋♥
And now, this little cocksucker
带我女儿去了哪里
is out God knows where
做了什么
with my daughter doing God knows fucking what.
那可不太妙
Well, this is not good.
还用说大侦探
No shit, Sherlock.
喂你到底打不打算调查这事了
Look, are you gonna put somebody on this or what?
因为我之前看「日界线」的时候
Because I was watching "Dateline"
美国NBC新闻杂♥志♥节目
听说失踪后的前四十八小时
and they said that the first 48 hours
最至关重要什么的
are the most critical or some shit like that.
有了
Bingo.
有了什么什么有了有进展吗
Bingo what? What bingo? You got something?
生活中经常有意想不到的事情发生
Life throws unexpected things our way.
不过如果我们坚持自我勇敢前行...
But if we stay on course and be brave...
怎么回事
How in the world...
我向你保证卢切蒂先生
You have my word, Mr. Luccetti.
一定会找到你的狗的
I'll find your dog.
-狗 -那是我们的亲妹妹
- Dog? - That's our sister.
老子上这找闺女来了给我扯什么狗呢
This is my fucking daughter we're talking about.
一切都会好起来的
Everything will be okay.
布拉克顿中心诊所
史蒂芬·盖勒先生
这是您三月二十日十一点的会诊确认邮件
请提前十五分钟到达诊所与我们的员工登记
登记时请带好有效的医保卡我们很期待见到您
我信了你奶奶的老花镜的邪了
Oh, heinous motherfucker!
所以他是昨天死的吗
So he died, like, yesterday?
嗯
Yeah.
那你不打算回去参加葬礼什么的吗
Well, are you gonna, like, go back for the funeral or whatever?
不
No.
不回去了
I don't think so.
难道你不想那个
Don't you wanna, like, I don't know,
给他穿上寿衣
dress him up in a suit?
请个牧师祈个祷什么的吗
Have some priest say some shit about God and stuff?
我一把火连他带房♥子一起烧了
I poured gasoline on the house and him and lit it on fire.
行吧
Okay.
那就不要牧师了
No priest then.
所以
So, uh...
-那辆车 -我爸那辆吗
- This car... - My dad's car?
不外面写着"奶♥子♥"那辆
No, the one outside with tits on it.