韦恩

Wayne S01E07

Part 1 May 19, 2020, 2:17 p.m.

佛罗里达州奥卡拉
稀有动物
我的花生酱不吃东西
Peanut Butter won't eat.
谁
Who?
你卖♥♥给我的短吻鳄它不吃东西
The fucking gator you sold me. Won't eat.
你为什么叫它花生酱
Why'd you name it Peanut Butter?
因为我喂他花生酱他不吃
'Cause I fed him peanut butter once and he didn't eat it.
所以就叫他花生酱
So I named him Peanut Butter.
是她
Her.
你说什么
The fuck you just say?
花生酱是只母鳄
Peanut Butter is a girl.
你怎么知道的
How the fuck you know that?
因为它没有小鸡鸡
On account of the lack of penis
而且我卖♥♥给你时
and the presence of a clitoris that Peanut Butter had
它还有阴蒂
when I sold you Peanut Butter.
那我现在有两个理由要退了它
Well, now I want to return Peanut Butter for two goddamn reasons.
-你有收据吗 -你♥他♥妈♥压根就没给我收据
- You got your receipt? - You didn't give me no fucking receipt, man.
我没给你收据
I didn't give you no receipt
是因为一经售出概不退还
because I don't take no returns.
-那就把他做成靴子 -是她
- Well, make him into boots then! - Her.
操你奶奶的我忍♥不...
Motherfucker. I'm not...
把
Make
她
her
做成靴子
into boots then.
不提供此项服务
Not a service I offer.
而且
And besides,
做靴子的话你不觉得花生酱小了点吗
Peanut Butter is a little small to be making into boots, don't you think?
那是因为花生酱死都不吃东西
That's 'cause Peanut Butter won't fucking eat.
听着伙计我的底线是
Look, man. Bottom line,
不退动物明白吗
I don't take animals back. Comprende?
好了我要去给两匹马配种了
Now, I gotta go make those two horses fuck.
如果我们能到此为止就再好不过了
So if could we be done here, that'd be great.
好吧
Yeah.
-操♥你♥大♥爷♥的 -不
- Motherfucker! - No!
操你个狗♥日♥的♥
Goddamn motherfucker!
去死吧糟老头子呛死活该
You suck, bitch. Choke on a fucking dick.
韦恩
第一季第七集
第七章
亲情永不变
乔治亚州列治文山
宝贝宝贝进来...
Baby! Baby, go get...
想死你了
Yeah! Missed you.
给那个男人打得人落花流水
Beat that man's ass.
就差一点儿你就..
Just a little farther, you're gonna be...
过来让我看看转过来
Come here, let me see. Roll over.
天呐糟透了
Jesus! Shit!
你青得都快看不出正常肤色了
You got more gross color skin than regular color skin.
我们得去医院
We gotta go to the hospital.
我不去医院
I don't go to hospitals.
我叔叔里克也不愿去医院
My Uncle Rick didn't go to hospitals either.
有次他在工作中受了点小伤
Got a splinter at work one time,
他以为涂点抗生素软膏就没事了
thought he could put Neosporin on it,
就继续回去工作
go right back to being an asshole.
然后他感染了最后
And then he gets an infection and,
你知道他最后怎样了吗
well, you know what he got for it.
什么他怎么了
What? What did he get?
死了就这么死了
Dead. He got fucking dead.
韦恩我得带你去医院
Wayne, we gotta go to the hospital.
-不行他们在到处找我们 -操
- We can't. There's people lookin' for us. - Fuck!
你们有冰块吗
Hey, you guys got any ice?
有呀我还有些更...
Yeah, I actually have something much...
更棒的东西
Something much better.
处方药
Drugs.
我不嗑药
I don't take drugs.
你肯定得嗑
Oh, sure you do.
我爸在他那场糟透的离婚结扎手术后
My dad got a bunch of really good shit
屯了一堆好东西
after his botched post-divorce vasectomy.
张嘴听话
Open up. Come on.
我没想到我会对一个男生说
I never thought I'd say this to a guy before,
把它放进你嘴里
but put it in your mouth.
也许我们可以用奶酪或者什么东西给它裹起来
Guys, maybe we can, like, wrap it in cheese or some shit.
听话把它吃了
Oh, come on, just take it.
张嘴
Take it!
张嘴韦恩把药吞下去
Take it, Wayne. Just swallow the pill.
好了好了
Okay, okay, okay.
真乖
Good boy!
珍妮轻点
Jenny! Jesus.
走吧来吧
Let's go, come on.
你一会就会感谢我的大恩大德了
You are gonna thank me for those later.
还有你们俩要是想
By the way, if you wanna, like,
亲热亲热什么的完全不用担心
hook up or anything, that is totally fine
我什么都听不见哦
'cause I won't hear anything,
因为我会在耳朵上戴个大耳罩
because I'll have these giant earmuffs on my ears.
也就是珍妮的大腿
Also known as Jenny's thighs.
天呐
Jesus.
我们很好谢谢我们不需要
We're good, thanks. I think we're good.
来吧宝贝
Come on, baby.
早上好
Good morning.
你为什么用这种眼神看着我
Why are you lookin' at me like that?
哪种眼神
Like what?
就像我是只小狗你想用毛毯把我裹起来
Like you wanna roll me up in a fuckin' rug.
我只是看到你很开心
I'm just happy. To see you.
为什么你要躺在浴缸里
Why are you in a tub?
你躺在浴缸里为什么呢
You're in a tub, you know. Why are you in a tub?
我受不了珍妮和崔西整晚翻云覆雨的声音
I couldn't sleep with Jenny and Trish goin' at it all night.
我发誓我中途听到珍妮说
I swear I think heard Jenny say
她把她牙弄丢了
she lost her tooth in the middle of it.
怎么了
What?
你真漂亮
You're pretty.
等等
Wait a sec.
你是嗨上天了吧
You're high as shit.
你又吃了片药吧不嗑药先生
Oh, you took another pill, Mister I Don't Take Drugs.
你真♥他♥妈♥嗨上天了
You're high as fuck.
-珍妮老爸回来了 -什么
- Jenny's fucking dad is here! - What?
所有人都保持安静
Everybody be totally fucking silent...
你♥爸♥爸在外面吗
Your dad, he's outside?
我应该去打个招呼
I should introduce myself.
韦恩别去
Wayne, do fucking not.
我得表现的有礼貌些
I have to be a gentleman.
等下爸爸我在换棉条
Just a sec, Dad. Shh! I'm putting in a tampon.
别...什么
Don't... What?
先生您好我是韦恩很荣幸见到您
Sir, I'm Wayne. It's an honor.
你好啊小伙子
Well, hey, young man.
你是珍妮的男朋友吧
Well, you must be Jenny's boy.
你是个...男生
You're a...boy.
感谢您让我在您家借宿
Thank you for letting me stay here in your really nice home.
不过我得承认
Although, if I'm being honest,
晚上时我上楼
I went upstairs in the nighttime,
吃掉了好多您的三明治肉对此我很抱歉
and ate a bunch of your sandwich meats and for that I'm sorry.
没关系不用在意
Oh, no, no. Think nothing of it.
我还想感谢你带我女儿去舞会呢
I wanna thank you for taking my daughter to the dance.
随时欢迎你来做客
I mean, you're welcome here anytime.
不先生您女儿是和她的蕾丝边女友
Oh, no, sir. Your daughter and the lesbian girlfriend friend,
一起参加的舞会因为她们是同性恋
they went to the dance together 'cause they're lesbians.
我是和我朋友黛尔一起去的
I went with my friend, Del.
我们不是蕾丝边但是...
We're not lesbians. But...
很荣幸见到您先生
Yeah. It was an honor, sir.
你♥他♥妈♥是替我向我爸出柜了吗
Did you just out me to my fucking dad?
她刚刚说了啥
Huh? The fuck she just say?
那个戴着帽子有点小胡子的
The, uh, whore-y one with the mustache and the hat?
她说她会永远爱着那个傻♥逼♥白人老头
She said the white old bald fuck will always have her heart.
我猜她肯定在和那个船主瞎搞
I'll bet she's bangin' that guy with the boat.
那对巨♥乳♥可真不错