韦恩

Wayne S01E08

Part 4 May 19, 2020, 2:17 p.m.

找到了
Ka-blam.
来看看吧
Here we go.
过来小帅哥
C'mere, handsome.
看看你以前有多可爱
Look how cute you were.
现在也可爱
Still is.
一个婴儿怎么会有黑眼圈
How's a baby get a shiner?
他自己搞的
Gave it to himself. Yeah.
拿了你♥爸♥爸的锤子
Took your father's hammer,
追着你的小三轮车玩想要照着轮胎来一锤
went after your Big Wheel, tried to bash it.
朝着小车的塑料轮胎一挥手
Took one swing at that big plastic tire
锤子反弹回来
and the hammer bounces back.
砰地一声砸自己眼睛上了
Bam. Right in the eye.
如果有人照顾他他可能就不会受伤了
Maybe somebody should've been watchin' him.
你走到哪都喜欢带着那把锤子
You loved to carry that hammer everywhere.
我一直都不知道为什么你对它情有独钟
I... I never understood why you loved it so much,
可能因为上面有你父亲的名字吧
but maybe 'cause it had your father's name
刻在把手上了我记得
scratched into the handle, I think.
还有我的名字
And my name.
是啊
Yeah.
甜心我知道的你个小机灵鬼
Yeah, sweetie, I know. You wiseass.
记得这张吗
Remember this?
你哥哥当时想把你打扮成小丑的样子
When your brother tried to dress you up like a clown?
不过他没用化妆品
But instead of using makeup,
反而用了指甲油
he used nail polish.
简直了
Huh?
还不是像「湿又野」那种牌子的廉价指甲油
And not the cheap stuff, not the Wet n Wild.
是那种很贵的
Like, the pricey shit.
我回家之后看到他的"杰作"
I went apeshit when I came home
也气得七窍生烟
and saw what he did to you.
用了一整瓶卸甲水才把它们擦下来
Took a whole bottle of acetone just to get that off.
他的脸一定火烧火燎吧
Must have burned like hell.
这也是让我惊讶的地方
That was the crazy part.
我给他把脸上的指甲油往下擦的时候
I'm just rubbin' this nail polish remover all over his face
他也不闹就乖乖地坐着看着我笑
and he's just sitting there, lookin' up at me, smiling.
一声都没哭
Didn't cry once.
你居然在他的脸上用卸甲水
You used nail polish remover on his face?
外用酒精不管用好嘛
Well, the rubbin' alcohol didn't work.
不过没关系
Doesn't matter.
要不是青一块紫一块的
You still got a nice face
这张小嫩脸该多帅气呀
underneath all them bruises and shit.
小祖宗啊
Oh, Jesus Christ.
你的头发闻着像发酵了
Your hair smells so terrible.
没事的
It's okay.
我们去给你买♥♥点洗发香波
Let's get you some, uh, shampoo
再买♥♥点洗浴用品什么的
and some bathroom shit, you know.
这次不用卸甲水了我保证来吧
Acetone-free, I promise. Come on.
丑爆了
I hate it.
快看这个沐浴露有芒果的味道
Look, they got that shower gel that's got mangoes.
是诶
Oh, yeah.
我们家已经有沐浴露了
You know, we already got shower gel.
不是什么水果味的但是照样能用
It ain't all tutti-frutti, but, you know, it'll do.
我们在这干嘛呢
What are we doin' here?
购物吧应该
Shoppin', I guess?
我知道是在购物但是...
Yeah, I know. I can see that, but...
韦恩快来看这个
Wayne, you gotta come see this.
这T恤衫太傻了
How stupid is this shirt?
"星期拗" 什么破玩意儿
"Saturyays"? Fuck you.
如果你♥爸♥看到有人穿这种衣服
You know what? Your father sees somebody in this shirt,
他会把他们眼睛戳瞎
he'd beat his ass.
我会把自己眼睛戳瞎
I'd beat my own ass.
可不是嘛
Ah, yeah, you would.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
你笑起来和他一模一样
You got the exact same smile as him.
这里两条笑纹这边一条
Double line here, single line there.
我过去爱死那个笑容了
Oh, I used to love that smile.
直到他在陶顿玩曲棍球的时候
Till he went and got all his teeth knocked out
把自己牙全磕掉了
at that hockey game in Taunton.
你♥爸♥爸是个急性子
You know, your father was a real hothead.
是啊
Yeah.
真的
Yeah.
我们得照张照片
We gotta take a picture.
真的我们得来一张
We do. We gotta do it.
黛尔拿我的手♥机♥照
Hey, Del, take my phone. C'mon.
来了
Here we go.
茄子
Cheese.
不好意思没照到你的头
Oops, cut your head off.
那就再照一张
Well, take another one.
好了开始吧
Okay, here we go.
我的手指头被照进去了
My finger's in the photo.
-什么 -我可不拍了
- Hmm? - I'm not takin' another one.
我和我的小帅哥
Me and my handsome boy.
虽然我看着像个疯婆子但是无所谓了
I mean, I look like garbage, but whatever.
真的像疯婆子
No, I do.
但还是要把这张照片贴到冰箱上
Still, this one's goin' on the fridge.
百分之百我保证
For sure. Definitely.
好了既然你都在佛罗里达了
All right. While you're in Florida,
得给你买♥♥条短裤你说呢来吧
gotta get your shorts, right? Come on.
-韦恩从来都不♥穿♥短裤 -好啊
- Wayne don't ever wear shorts... - Okay.
你认真的吗
Really?
短裤
Shorts?
你觉得如何
What do you think?
上面有口袋很方便对吧
It's got pockets. It's good, right?
-不错 -还搭配了条皮带
- Okay. - Got a... Comes with a belt.
对吧这几条...
Yeah? I mean, these...
史黛西如果我挡着你了就告诉我
Hey, Stacey, let me know if I'm in your way.
顺便说一下
By the way,
我真的很喜欢你在杆子上
I really appreciate how you spelled out the alphabet
用身体扭出不同字母的样子
with your body up there on the pole.
我是个教育工作者对我来说很有启发性
I was an educator. It's not lost on me.
刚才的小孩呢
Where's the kid?
我他妈问你呢刚才那个小孩呢
I said, where's the motherfuckin' kid?
我听见了只不过我受过家教嘴里有东西的时候不能说话
I know, I was taught not to speak with my mouth full.
你可能欠点礼仪教育
Maybe you could learn some manners.
狗♥杂♥种♥ 小心老子打哭你
Motherfucker. I'll fucking fuck you up.
这礼仪怎么样
How's that for manners?
有待改进那小孩闯什么祸了
Uh, needs some work. What'd the kid do?
那个逼崽子用我的名字预支了钱
That little shit charged a round of drinks
还买♥♥了一轮酒都记在我账上
and a cash advance in my fuckin' name.
是你呀克里丝托
Hey, Krystal.
自从上次税收约见之后我就没见过你了
I haven't seen you since your last tax appointment.
对了我有一些文件需要你签字
By the way, I have some documents
去车里签怎么样
I need you to sign in the car.
神经病我压根不认识你
Bitch, I don't fuckin' know you.
我不认识你也不认识那个蠢孩子
I don't know you or that stupid-ass kid,
秃驴
egg-headed motherfucker.
他到底在哪儿
Where is he?
我...我不...
I... I don't...
那小畜生到底在哪儿
Where's the fuckin' kid?
-我不知道 -再说一遍
- I don't know. - Say again?
那个小畜生在香槟酒柜那边
Yo, the little motherfucker's in the champagne room.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
我给你买♥♥了几条内♥裤♥
And I got you some tighty-whities.
怎么了别害羞嘛
What? Don't be shy.
注意卫生又没什么难以启齿的
There's no shame in having clean drawers.
不好意思小姐
Excuse me, miss.
我得检查一下那位女孩的包
I need to check the young lady's bag.
为什么有什么问题吗
Why? What's the problem?
这女孩刚才偷东西了
This girl was stealing.
什么
What?
胡须护理精油
Beard oil?