韦恩

Wayne S01E10

Part 3 May 19, 2020, 2:18 p.m.

- Out here? - Yes.
没有穷乡僻壤哪有什么兽医
Yeah, no. We're in fuck nowhere.
你知道吗
Oh, you know what?
这里有个退休的兽医
There is this, uh, retired animal doctor.
他貌似只收冰♥毒♥作为报酬
I think he maybe takes meth for payment?
狗屁佛罗里达
Fucking Florida.
你不会死的
You're not gonna die.
我不会让你死的
I'm not gonna let you die.
你不会有事的好运好吗
You're gonna be fine, Lucky, okay?
你不会有事的一切都会好起来的
You're gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay.
等等
Yo, hold up.
这狗怀孕了
The dog is preggo.
-啥 -你看见她乳♥头♥了吗
- What? - You see the nipples on that thing?
狗妈妈要生宝宝了
Momma dog's about to have some puppies.
别让她在我院子里生
Yeah, not on my fucking patio, it's not.
奥卡拉警局
Ocala Police Station.
-我家院子里有条科莫多巨蜥 -等等什么
- There is a Komodo dragon in my yard. - Wait, what?
一条科莫多巨蜥
A Komodo dragon.
科莫多巨蜥是什么鬼
What the hell is a Komodo dragon?
一头美洲狮
A puma?
不等下
No, wait.
我不太懂你说什么
I can't understand what you're saying.
你在哪
Where are you?
一只袋鼠
A kangaroo?
什么你朝它开枪了吗
What? You shot it or you didn't?
好的我们马上过去
Okay, we'll be right down.
你刚刚是对那只袋鼠开枪了吗
Was that you shooting the kangaroo just now?
所有人都听着
All right, listen, everybody.
奥卡拉进入全面动物袭击警戒
We have a full scale 10-91b in Ocala County.
我需要所有人立刻前往停车场集♥合♥
I need all units in the parking lot right now.
这不是演习行动
This is not a drill. Let's go.
戴伦你守着大本营
Darren, you hold down the fort.
顺便盯着这小孩
And keep an eye on that kid.
好的
I got it.
这玩意太恶心了
That is some disgusting-ass shit.
上面说
Okay, it says,
"当你看见一个灰色袋状物从外阴掉落..."
"Once you see the grayish sack falls from the vulva..."
所有人看见这玩意都会吐的
Man, everybody gonna be throwing up in this motherfucker.
给
Here.
这是我黑五从一对波多黎各母女那儿
I had to wrestle a Puerto Rican woman
拼老命抢来的
and her daughter on Black Friday for these,
所以别再说我啥好事都没做过
so don't say I ain't done nothing good for nobody.
没事没事
It's okay. Okay.
我会慢慢把你放下来
I'm just gonna take you down slowly.
我看见灰色袋状物了
I see the grayish sack.
天啊不不不
Oh, hell. No, no, no.
没事的大伙儿
All right, all right, everybody,
给她点空间她要生了
give her some room! It's happening!
还好你喜欢喝汤你嘴都张不开估计也只能吃流食了
Good thing you love soup, with your jaw being wired shut and all.
没错去你的[操你]
Yeah, fuck you, dude.
听着我知道这是药的副作用杰伊
Look, I know that's the drugs talking, Jay,
但如果这句话这对你意义重大我也爱你
but if it means something to you, I love you too.
我说操你的伙计
I said fuck you, dude.
天哪
Jesus.
这药不太合你的口味吧朋友
Drugs do not agree with you, my friend.
这里怎么了
What's going on here?
我需要前后都有人把守
I need units in front and back
什么情况
What's the situation?
一堆野生动物在奥卡拉乱跑
Bunch of wild animals running around Ocala.
我们接到报♥警♥ 有一只狮子好几条巨蟒和一只鸵鸟
We've got reports of a lion, large snakes, an ostrich...
是头美洲狮
It's a puma!
妈的是头美洲狮
Fuck! It's a fucking puma.
里面有头美洲狮救救我
It's a fucking puma. Help me.
救救我
Help me!
妈的快来救我啊
Fucking help me!
操
Fuck!
我之前真的希望是只鸵鸟
I was really hoping for the ostrich.
1078区需要一辆救护车
We're gonna need an ambulance at 1078.
别拿借口搪塞我快搞定
I don't want excuses. Get it done.
等下谁在看着韦恩呢
Wait. Who's watching Wayne?
有什么需要帮助的吗
Can I help you with something?
嗯
Yeah.
我来提我的1979款庞蒂亚克火鸟
I'd like to get my 1979 Trans Am.
这辆车现在已被扣押
Vehicle is now in impound evidence.
它正在被运回马萨诸塞州的布罗克顿
It's being shipped back to Brockton, Massachusetts.
那好吧
Well, that's all right, then.
你为什么不叫辆救护车来呢
Why don't you just go ahead and call me an ambulance?
给谁叫
For who?
你
You.
去死吧
Get the fuck out of here.
扣押你个大头鬼
Talking about impounding and shit.
就是你了
Motherfucker.
看看这是谁呀
Oh. Hey, now.
韦恩
Wayne.
雷吉
Reggie.
你像个小动物一样被拴着
Tied up like a goddamn animal.
你看过《动物星球》吗
Hey, you ever watch Animal Planet?
世界上第一个也是唯一
一个以动物为主角的电视频道
你知道鬣狗没有兄弟姐妹吗
Did you know that hyenas don't have any brothers and sisters?
知道为啥吗
You know why?
因为他们很小还是幼崽时
Because when they real small, in the litter,
就要争妈妈的奶♥子♥
fighting for they momma's titty,
最凶悍的鬣狗
well, you see, the toughest baby hyena, see, he, uh...
会杀死他的兄弟姐妹
He kill his brothers and sisters.
这样他就能喝更多的奶了
More titty time for hisself.
我知道你对我的车贼心不死
Now I know you ain't gonna stop coming for my car,
那我就让你死心
so I'm gonna have to make you stop.
确保你不会再来抢"奶♥子♥"
Make sure you don't come back for that titty.
我早就不在乎那辆车了
I don't care about the car no more.
扯淡
Bullshit.
真的
I don't.
车归你了
You can have it.
你是想跟我玩心理战吗
Are you trying to reverse my psycholology and shit?
我可不会上当
Because I ain't biting.
妈蛋
Motherfucker.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
老子宰了你
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
我需要一把刀割断脐带
I need a knife to cut the cords!
我要晕了
I'm gonna faint.
这简直就是虐待儿童
I swear to God, this is child abuse, man.
-妈的 -好恶心
- Shit. - Disgusting.
好吧如果你用了这个那我只能把它们扔了
Okay, if you use these, then I gotta throw them away,
从电视促销节目上买♥♥的
and I got them off an infomercial,
我不知道它们还能不能用
so I don't know if they're avail no more.
我会给你买♥♥套更好的
I'll buy you a better set!
所有人都在糟蹋我的好玩意
Everybody's ruining all my nice things.
从狗屁♥股♥里面出来的是她宝宝的头吗
Is that a puppy head coming from out of a dog's ass?
那不是狗屁♥股♥
It's not a dog's ass.
-那是... -狗逼
- That's a... - Pussy!
傻屌♥ 贱♥货♥
Ass! Bitch!
零暴♥力♥引领最高道德规范
我他妈要弄死你混账
I'm gonna fucking kill you, motherfucker.
狗犊子
Motherfucker.
不
No.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
操
Fuck.
我们要干架吗
So we're doing this?
干不干
Are we doing this?
我老二可硬着呢
My dick is hard.
为什么
Why?
因为...
Because...