韦恩

Wayne S01E09

Part 1 May 19, 2020, 2:18 p.m.

操
Fuck.
我可以的会没事的
I'm fine. It's gonna be okay.
滚开
Fuck out.
这他妈是我房♥子王八蛋
My fucking house, bitch!
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you.
他妈...
Fuck...
爸爸
Dad?
操
Fuck!
等等不不不
Wait, wait, wait. No. No!
求你了
Please.
别别别
No. No!
韦恩
第一季第九集
第九章
还以为我们是朋友呢
佛罗里达州奥卡拉
奥卡拉社区中心
及
公共泳池
喂打扰下
Hey. Excuse me.
你是要自杀吗
You gonna kill yourself?
不
No.
你要偷东西吗
You gonna steal some shit?
嗯
Yeah.
我要偷这泳池的水
I gonna steal the goddamn pool water.
社区泳池到底为什么
Why the hell does a community swimming pool
还要配个保安
need a security guard anyway?
这样小毛孩们才不会闯进来
So kids don't break in
自杀或偷东西
and kill themselves or steal some shit.
好吧那你不用担心
Yeah, well, you don't gotta worry about that.
如果这是你能找到的最好的地方
You must be having one shitty night
你今晚肯定过的很糟
if this is the best place you could find.
糟了不知几年了没什么好在意的
Shitty couple of years, but who's counting?
如果你拿些泡沫打腿板
If you grab some of them foam kick boards
再拿几条毛巾
and towels over there,
这也是能算是个
there's a really good place for you
一觉解千愁的好地方
to sleep off whatever mess you're in.
别乱动泳池清洁剂
Keep your mitts off the pool chemicals
也不要下水
and your ass on dry land.
我就不用糟蹋好好一条棉布裤下水救人了
I don't need to be rescuing nobody in my good chinos.
懂吗
You hear me?
「时间旅人」股份有限公♥司♥
出发罗得岛州西格林尼治
到达加州洛杉矶
早咖啡仔
Morning, coffee boy.
别担心我给你也拿了碗
Oh, don't worry. I got you a bowl, too.
我靠看这个
Oh, shit. Look at that.
今天绝逼是我的幸运日
It must be my lucky day.
不加牛奶吗
No milk?
我不喝牛奶
Don't do moo juice.
对胃不好吗
Hurts your tummy?
你知道它是从牛的乳♥头♥挤出来的吧
You know it comes from cow titties, right?
怕咪♥咪♥吗
You scared of titties?
乳糖不耐症傻♥逼♥
Lactose intolerant, motherfucker.
那还是对胃不好
So, it hurts your tummy.
你大老远跑来吃我的麦片
So, you come all this way to eat my fucking cereal
还是因为宝宝想妈妈了
or 'cause you miss your momma or some shit?
或者说想我妈妈了
Or should I say, my momma.
那只蠢鳄天呐
That stupid... God.
早安妈妈
Morning, Momma.
我按你喜欢的方式给你煮了咖啡
Uh, I made your coffee for you the way you like.
不好意思
Uh, excuse me,
那只短吻鳄又在门前的草坪上拉屎了
but that alligator took a crap on my front lawn again,
麻烦你去清理干净
so just go clean that up, please.
我发誓雷吉绝对是个低能儿
I swear to God, Reggie's special needs.
当他还是个小屁孩时
You know, when he was a kid,
我们坚决不带他去海滩
we used to have to not take him to the beach no more
因为他只会吃沙子
'cause all he would do is eat sand.
一勺接一勺
Just scoop after scoop.
都能听见他咬得沙子嘎吱作响
Could hear it crunching in his teeth.
不能更恶心
Like, disgusting.
所以他才镶了金牙吗
That's why he's got gold teeth?
不
Nah.
他就是想让自己看起来像个混混
He just likes looking like an asshole.
我在你房♥间里放了几条干净毛巾
Oh, I put some clean towels in your room for you.
也给你女朋友放了几条
And I put a couple in for your girl.
她不需要了她...
She don't need none. She's...
她走了
She's gone.
你以前带我去过海滩吗
You ever take me to the beach?
你做的是什么
What are ya making?
我在做熏香蜡烛生意
So, I got my own candle business.
在跳蚤市场上卖♥♥
And, um, I sell them at swap meets.
有色情款和正常款
I got erotic and non-erotic scents.
材料是一样的只是名字不同
They're the same, they just got different names.
-我喜欢这个 -是吗
- I like this one. - Yeah?
有树的气息
It smells like a tree.
不错这是树林香调
Yes, this is the woodsy one.
我很喜欢你真有品味
I love it. You got very good taste.
我跟加尔文说我需要更多空间
You know, I told Calvin that I need more space
放我的蜡烛之类的就像...
for my candles and whatever. It's like...
就像一个工作室对吧
Like a workspace, right?
他说 "不那间卧室是我的私人空间"
And he said, "Oh, no. I need that extra bedroom for my man cave."
他去年买♥♥了台平板电视现在还没拆封
He got a flat screen TV last year, still sitting on the floor.
私人空间得了吧
Man cave? Please. Right?
不如叫垃圾堆
More like a goddamn junk cave.
当你还是个小宝宝时
You know, when you were a little baby,
不在你的屋里点上支蜡烛
you wouldn't go to sleep
你都不肯睡觉
unless I lit a candle in your room for you.
真的吗
Really?
当然
Yeah.
我知道这听起来有点像
You know, I know it's gonna sound like some kind of, um,
借口什么的
I don't know, excuse or something,
但我觉得这一切可能就是天意吧
but I think things turned out the way they were supposed to.
你来找我是天意
With you...
我和你♥爸♥爸婚姻破裂也是天意
You know, with your father and me coming here.
你♥爸♥爸就是个惹是生非的人
It's like... Your daddy can be some kind of hellion.
酗酒又斗殴
Just, the boozing and the fighting, it's...
邻居大都突然搬走因为...
So many neighbors would just, like, up and leave, 'cause...
和你♥爸♥爸做太久邻居真的吃不消
Just after living near the guy too long.
不骗你不止一家
I kid you not, more than once,
连家具和电视也没搬走就离开了
leaving furniture and TVs behind
只想赶紧离开那个混球
just to get away from the son of a bitch quicker.
他还有自己的荣誉信条
Oh, he had the honor thing,
自己的一套准则什么的就是...
the code or whatever. Just...
是非对错
Right and wrong.
没有灰色♥区♥域或中间地带
Everything. Just no grays, no middle.
一切都是黑白分明的
Everything is black and white
他把自己总结的生活法则强加在别人身上
and he had all these ideas about how they should live
我该怎么做我可以成为怎样的人
and, you know, how I should be and what I could be
我又该成为怎样的人
and what I should be.
规矩太多了非常难相处
Yeah. Lot of rules. Hard to live with.
非常难相处
Hard to live with.
你知道吗
You know,
己所欲勿施于人
you don't gotta treat someone like shit and make them feel bad.
但加尔文他...
Like, Calvin, he can be like...
他可能有点混♥蛋♥ 但...
Yeah, he could be like, whatever, but...
他让我做自己
He lets me be who I wanna be.
做我想做的事
Do what I want.
只要我屁♥股♥没变太肥就行
Just so long as my ass don't get too big.
拿着这个
Here. Take that.
把它放你房♥间里什么的
Just keep it in your room or something.
也许你会睡得更好
Maybe you'll sleep better.
看泽尔伍德我赢了
Look, Zellwood! I win, bitch.
我没看到任何泽尔伍德的标志
I didn't see any signs for Zellwood.
不你看到了你一定看到了
Yes, you did. Yes, you did.
-你直接开过去了 -我没看到任何标志