韦恩

Wayne S01E05

Part 3 May 19, 2020, 2:17 p.m.

混球这方面你可是赢在起跑线上了
Yeah, well, you got a big head start.
好吧谢谢你们的鼓励我要去学习了
All right, thanks for the pep talk, everybody. I gotta study.
书呆子
Nerd!
黛尔来
Del! Hey, hey, hey! Come here!
过来过来
Come here, come here.
我明天带你去商店
Come on. I'll take you to the store tomorrow
买♥♥些海报板装饰的小亮片
and we'll get some poster boards and sequins and glitter,
水彩颜料什么的
and Puffy paint and all that.
没有竞选海报还竞什么选对吧
You can't win a campaign without campaign posters, huh?
谁付钱亲爱的格拉西艾洛吗
Who's gonna pay for all this, your friend Graciollo?
别想从我这套一分钱
Because I ain't paying for fucking shit.
你会付钱的她也会赢的记住我的话
Yeah, you are. She's gonna win this thing. Mark my words.
浪费时间浪费金钱真是一举两得
Well, it's a waste of time and it's a waste of goddamn money.
吃你的牡蛎肚吧你个丧气鬼
Hey, eat your clam bellies, you goddamned Gloomy Gus.
我看到它的头了
I saw his head!
天你没事吧
Shit. You okay?
对天发誓我要把他和那只猫一起塞墙里面
I swear to Christ, I'm gonna put him in the wall with that goddamn cat.
咱俩养了对傻子你知道吗
You and I are raising a couple of fucking morons, you know that?
还有个即将上任的主席
And one future fuckin' President!
-去学习吧 -去吧孩子
- Go study! - Go get 'em, kid.
能把你的肘子从桌上拿下来吗
Would you get your elbows off the goddamn table?
我还好
Hey, I'm fucking fine.
没事的特德
It's okay, Ted.
不好意思你有空了解一下
Hey, excuse me, do you have a minute
-「血色狂飙」献血项目吗 -没有
- to talk about the blood drive? - No.
我们需要上酒水的志愿者
Hey, we need volunteers to pour the orange juice.
我真想给他们揍得"血色狂飙"
I'm gonna punch someone in the face till they need a blood drive.
冷静我们一桌一桌问就好了
Chill, we'll just go table to table.
跟那些人打打交道
You know, meet the people.
不我讨厌他们
No, I hate the people.
我需要他们喜欢我
Well, I need the people to like me,
所以就笑这一次
so smile for once in your life.
你怎么出奇地振奋
You're in an oddly upbeat mood.
我妈妈要帮我竞选主席
My mom's helpin' me run for Class President.
难以置信
Damn.
你妈妈真的假的
Your mom? For real?
嘴别这么毒
Hey, be nice.
说不好哪件事更让人吃惊
I don't know what's more surprising,
你这个闷葫芦出来做宣传
you putting yourself out there like this...
还是你妈妈来帮你的忙
Or your fuckin' mom bein' helpful.
别对她要求太高了
All right. Give her a break.
她也在试着改变嘛
You know she tries.
某些时候
Sometimes.
嗨我是黛尔这是娜塔莉
Hi, I'm Del. This is Natalie.
是你俩这个「弯-直联盟」的事吗还是...
This a gay-straight alliance thing? Or...
我讨厌这些人
I hate the people.
我们下周有场「血色狂飙」献血活动
Well, we're holdin' a blood drive next week.
我们曲棍球队的队员之一
It's for our hockey team.
球队的守门员受了很重的伤
You know, our goalie got hurt pretty bad.
颈静脉被冰刀划伤了
Dude took a blade to the jugular.
血管整个被划开
Vein just ripped open,
血就像水龙头大开血水四溅
and blood was spurtin' everywhere like a fuckin' faucet.
他差点在冰面上流血身亡
He almost bled to death right on the ice,
然后医护人员终于来了
and then, when the paramedics finally came,
他们就在血泊里滑来滑去
they were slippin' and slidin' in all this blood
其中有个人还吐了
and one of 'em actually threw up.
真♥他♥妈♥是个闹剧
That was a fuckin' shit show.
对但其实他们还是把他救活了
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, you know, they was able to save him,
多亏了大家齐心协力援助献血
thanks to people chipping in and donating their blood,
都像你们这样乐于助人所以你们觉得怎么样
much like you guys. So, what do you think?
加入有什么好处
What's in it for me?
"赠人玫瑰手有余香"的幸福感算吗
Uh, the satisfaction of helpin' others?
参加活动的话还用上课吗
Do we get out of class?
不用
Yes.
早说不就得了
Should've just opened with that.
还有一件事我还要竞选主席
Hey, uh, while I'm here, I'm also running for Class President,
所以如果可以的话你们可以投我
so, you know, maybe if you like, you could vote for me.
我把英语作业给你们抄
I'll let you copy my English homework.
没错她是个英语专家
Oh, yeah. She's a fuckin' English savant.
-啥是"专家" -你看
- I don't know what that means. - Yeah, exactly.
在她的帮助下
But with her doing your homework,
这些生词你都会懂的
you won't have to, so.
我觉得可以
Works for me.
前几天被赶出庭院公园酒店的那对母女
Hey, uh, didn't you and your dumpster-fire of a mom
是不是你和你那个婊♥子♥婆娘儿呀
get thrown out the Courtyard Park Hotel the other day?
是羟考酮吧还是快克It's Oxy, right? Not crack.
麻醉性镇痛药
可♥卡♥因♥的精制品
-或者都嗑了 -你妈哟老子给你一耳屎
- Or is it both? - Hey, Ugly Betty, eat a dick.
你知道吗
You know what?
我也在考虑竞选主席呢
I'm thinking' I'll run for Class President.
也许我的口号♥可以是"垃圾快克"呢
Maybe my campaign platform could be "Crack is Whack."
对了我听说埃里克·鲍尔斯喜欢你的快克[屁♥眼♥]
Yeah, I heard Eric Powers liked your crack.
顺便一提第一次献给了肛♥交♥
By the way, just because you take it in the ass
也算是破处哦
doesn't mean you're still a virgin.
尼玛卖♥♥麻批
So, yeah. Fuck you!
多谢那肯定能帮我竞选成功
Thanks. I'm sure that'll help me get elected.
妈的贱皮子
Oh, fuck 'em.
你管那群婊♥子♥怎么想干嘛
Hey, why do you care what those bitches think, anyway?
我没管一群哈婆娘
I don't. Fuck those hoes.
我得走了我妈来接我
I gotta go. My ma's picking me up.
明天见
I'll see ya tomorrow.
妈妈呢
Where's Ma?
她不舒服
She don't feel so good.
上车吧
Just get in.
快点上车
Come on, get in.
黛尔
Hey, Del.
这玩意也太贵了
This shit's expensive.
但也很必要
Yeah, well, this shit's necessary.
如果别人都不知道我是谁
How are people supposed to vote for me
怎么会投我
if they don't know who I am?
听我说你不需要什么破海报板
Well, I'll tell you what. You don't need a fucking poster board.
一支黑色记号♥笔就够了不是吗
All you need's a black sharpie, right?
你想提醒别人投你
You want to remind people to vote for you,
可以把名字写厕所墙上
you could write your name on the bathroom walls.
我就是这样搞到你妈妈号♥码的
That's how I got your mom's number.
妈妈答应了买♥♥水彩颜料的
Ma promised puffy paint.
你在干嘛呢
Hey, what are you doing'? Hmm?
我喜欢粉色但我觉得
I like the pink, but I think
绿色可能更中性一些
the green might be more gender-neutral.
中什么 "中性"是个什么东西
Gender what? The fuck is gender-neutral?
看着我
Hey, look. Look at me.
我不能两个都给你买♥♥
I ain't buying you both, okay?
赶紧选一个我们好回家
So just pick one, so we could please get the fuck outta here.
妈妈才不会像你这样无趣呢
This would have been more fun with Ma.
没办法你妈不在只有你爹
Yeah, well, clearly, your mother's not here.
我知道
I know.
孩子你做这些...做这些
Hey, kid. What are you, what are you...
你做这些是为了什么
What are you doing all this for, huh?
-什么 -一切
- What? - All this shit.
这个鬼竞选
You know, this goddamn popularity contest.
为了拉票搞这些假模假式的吗得了吧
Doing all this fake shit for votes? Come on.
我不知道我助人为乐不好吗
I don't know, I like helpin' people. That so bad?
助人为乐有更省钱的方式
There's a cheaper way of helping people.
啥都不做别挡道就行
By doing nothing and staying out of the fucking way.
比从一群哈撮撮那里
You know, it's better than begging for attention
乞求关注要好得多
from a bunch of fucking jack-wagons
他们不值得你浪费精力
who ain't worth your weight in spit.
或许我也想做些好事
Maybe I wanna be noticed for once.
被别人注意一次不行吗
For something good. Okay?
我注意到你了
I notice you.
还有你妈妈她也注意到你了