韦恩

Wayne S01E03

Part 3 May 19, 2020, 2:17 p.m.

he can take care of himself.
而我呢
Me, on the other hand,
我连自己的狗都照料不好
I can't even take care of my dogs.
他偷了这个厕所的钥匙
He stole a key to this bathroom.
怎么了会很好玩的
So, what's the problem? It could be fun.
我们不该出去
We shouldn't go out there.
我们可能会被人发现
People could spot us or something.
就凭那些照片吗没人能认出咱俩的
From those pictures? No one's gonna recognize us.
那照片太老了我还穿着巴拉巴拉小他妈童装呢
That picture's so old, I'm wearing Osh-Kosh B'-fucking-gosh.
待在这有啥不好
What's wrong with staying in here?
有玉米坚果吃还能看那个HBO
We got Corn Nuts. And the HBO.
"那个"HBO
"The" HBO?
我估计整个镇都是咱俩的照片
Our faces are all over town, I think.
我们现在不能就这么出去跟陌生人交朋友
We can't just go around being friends with strangers now.
问题解决
Problem solved.
费城快报
布拉克顿一少年
入室袭击
并绑♥架♥一少女
这么办
Here's what we do.
我们编个假身份
We come up with a cover story.
假装我们是其他人
You know, pretend we're different people.
装得要比昨晚像
Except better than last night's one.
你比我会撒谎我做不到
Well, you lie better than me. I can't do it.
是个人都比你强
Everyone lies better than you.
你就是个天杀的诚实代言人
You're like the goddamn beacon of truth.
那我们玩点别的
So let's try something a little bit different.
选一个你看过的电影
Choose a character from the last movie you saw
或者读过的书里的角色
or a book you read or whatever.
把他们的故事套到你自己身上
Take part of their story, make it your own.
你想到谁了吗
You think of somebody?
角色还是什么的
Character or whatever?
柯南
Conan?
-柯南深夜秀的柯南吗 -野蛮人柯南
- O'Brien? - The Barbarian.
这个柯南没有姓氏吗
Does Conan even have a last name?
就叫柯南
No, just Conan.
你不能走进一个派对然后说
You can't just walk into a party and be like,
"大家好我是野蛮人柯南"
"Oh, hey, what's up? I'm Conan the Barbarian."
那还挺酷的
It would be kinda cool though.
我知道你可能没怎么听过
Listen, I know you don't hear this a lot,
但无疑你想太多了
but you're thinking too much.
成功秘籍是要讲一个引人入胜的大谎
The key with this is to tell one big, fat, juicy lie.
最重要的是你要让他们相信你
You know, the important one you need 'em to believe.
然后你再顺着圆那些奇奇怪怪的细节
Then, you follow it up with the tiny, little weird bullshit.
小细节
Details.
不需要太特别
You know, nothing real particular,
但要是那种没人会编的
but stuff no one would ever make up.
想试试吗
You wanna try?
不
Not really.
我是安杰丽卡这是...
I'm Angelica. This is...
约翰
John?
约翰
John...
韦恩
Wayne?
约翰·韦恩[西部牛仔明星]
John Wayne.
没错我们爸妈很喜欢西部风
Yeah. Yeah, our parents loved Westerns.
他们在费城开会
They're in Philadelphia for a conference.
你知道那种在你的动脉炸开
You know those tiny little balloons,
防止你心脏病发作的
they blow up in your arteries
小气球吗
to prevent heart attacks?
他们就是卖♥♥这个的卖♥♥给医生
Well, they sell those. To doctors.
有两家竞争公♥司♥都在生产这玩意
Two competing companies make 'em.
我们爸妈分别给这两家工作
Our parents each work for one of the companies,
所以他们就像竞争对手一样
so they're, like, competitors.
我爸犯过心脏病
My dad had a heart attack.
所以你要和我们一起玩吗约翰·韦恩
So, you gonna get bombed with us or what, John Wayne?
约翰·韦恩
John Wayne!
我想确认一下我没听错吧
So, I just wanna make sure I'm hearing this right.
你这孩子的监护人授权我
You, the boy's guardian, is authorizing me,
一个你之前从未见过
an adult male you've never met before today,
也从没带过孩子的成年男人
who's never raised any kids in his life,
带着你的孙子开我的烂车
to take your grandson across multiple state lines,
穿越好几个州要开将近几百英里
hundreds of miles away in a shoddy Taurus
去找他那个可能是罪犯的朋友
to find his friend, who may or may not be a criminal.
你们路上吃饭需要多少钱
How much money you guys need for food?
奶♥子♥不错
Nice tits!
黛尔
Del.
我们能把衣服换回来了吗
Can we please switch back now?
不行你俩游戏全程都得这么穿
Nope, you have to wear it the whole game.
混♥蛋♥
Asshole.
我现在感觉糟透了
I'm in my own private hell.
我再也不会喜欢这游戏了
I don't like this game anymore.
莱恩又没人逼你吃毒蘑菇
Ryan, no one dared you to take mushrooms.
是你自己要吃的
You just took mushrooms.
我们该走了
We should go.
我们才玩一半呢兄弟
We're in the middle of a game, bro.
约翰·韦恩放松
Yeah, come on, John Wayne. Ease up.
下一个是谁
Who's next?
安杰丽卡
Angelica.
就是安杰丽卡
Definitely Angelica.
好吧
Okay.
真心话大冒险小贱♥人♥
Truth or dare, bitch?
我可不想裸上身所以...
Well, uh, I wanna keep my top on, so...
真心话
Truth.
我想想
Let's see.
你最疯狂的做♥爱♥地点是哪
Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?
最疯狂的吗
Craziest?
天哪
Jesus.
让我好好想想
You gonna have to give me a sec on this one.
最疯狂的
Craziest.
好吧
All right.
溜冰场去年夏天的事
Ice rink. Summer. Last year.
我家房♥子从没装过空调
My house never really had air conditioning,
所以天热的时候我经常去溜冰场看书
so when it was hot, I used to go there to read.
有个叫吉米·德皮托的小孩
And this kid, Jimmy Depietro,
在那做暑期工用磨冰车
had a summer job cleaning the ice
清理冰面
on one of those big, uh, Zamboni things.
你知道那玩意对吧
You know what those are?
还挺搞笑的因为虽然
Yeah, it was funny 'cause even though
他比我大两岁
he was two years older than me,
他在那大轮子后面看上去就像个小屁孩
he still looked like a little kid behind the wheel of that big thing.
在磨冰机上做♥爱♥难道不算疯狂吗
Anyway, is on a Zamboni a crazy place to have sex?
牛逼了
Shut it down.
这女孩赢了
This girl just won Truth or Dare.
一起来喊"磨冰机"
All right, say "Zam-boning"!
磨冰机
Zam-boning!
鲍勃
Bob?
托米今晚有熊队的比赛
Hey, Tommy! Bruins tonight!
可能又要赢了
Probably gonna get smoked again.
嗯可能
Yeah, probably.
介意我们聊个天吗
Mind if we have a chat?
我挺想招待你的
I'd offer you something,
但我家很少有人来
but I don't usually get visitors.
我家只剩一点没气的苏打水还有根香蕉
I think I got some flat soda, or a banana.
-给我根香蕉 -杰伊
- I'll take a banana. - Jay.
等下韦恩没事对吧
Wait. Wayne's all right, right?
我破了你家狗的案子
I solved the case of your dead dogs.
-啥 -下午我们搜查了几条线索
- I'm sorry? - Ran down some leads this afternoon.
仔细研究了你的兽医开的毒物报告
Dug up the toxicology reports from your vet
让法医鉴定组的帕翠莎检查了下
and shared them with Patricia in Forensics.
查看了你邻居的噪音投诉
Looked up noise reports from your neighbors.
又找了医院的记录进行了一点背景调查
Found some hospital records. Ran a few background checks.
我也帮了忙
I helped with those.
没错