韦恩

Wayne S01E01

Part 2 May 19, 2020, 2:16 p.m.

坐... 就坐那儿
Sit... No, sit right down there.
保持安静
Keep quiet.
天哪韦恩你不能这么做
Jesus H, Wayne. You can't do that!
我柜子里的东西都不见了
All my stuff from my locker's gone.
好吗有人把我的双节棍拿走了
All right? And somebody took my nunchuks.
你就不该把双节棍带进学校
You shouldn't have brought your nunchucks into school.
好吗我不知道它们在哪儿
All right? I don't know where they are.
这些孩子什么都偷
Okay? These kids, they steal everything.
几周前他们还偷了希利夫人的鞋
They stole Mrs. Healy's shoes a few weeks ago.
而且还不是什么好看的鞋
Okay, they're not cool shoes.
是那种老式教师女鞋
They're old lady, teacher shoes.
韦恩韦恩坐跟我聊聊
Wayne, Wayne, sit down, talk to me.
我本可以告发你你都逃学五次了但我没有
I could have called Truancy, like, five times by now and I haven't.
你♥爸♥爸怎么样了
How's your dad doing?
你知道我和你♥爸♥爸认识很久了吧
You know that me and your dad go way back, right?
嗯
Yep.
他叫你"混♥蛋♥汤米·科尔"
He calls you "Butthole Tommy Cole."
是的拜他所赐这传统
Yes. And thanks to him, that tradition
都传给了这届学生
has been passed on to this generation of students.
他还揍过我
He also beat me up.
在我的生日派对上把我打得满地找牙
Beat the shit out of me at my own birthday party.
别闹了
Knock it off!
别闹了我对天发誓...
Knock it off! I swear to God...
他妈的给我住手
Cut that shit out right now!
我知道不该这样做但我讨厌那些孩子
I know I'm not supposed to, but I hate those kids.
成人眼中的厌恶
Like, real... Like, adult hate.
就像...
It's like...
我刚说到哪了
Where was I?
谈到我爸揍你
Talking about my dad beating your ass.
对
Right.
每次你♥爸♥揍完我
Thing is, for every time your dad beat my ass,
他会用揍我双倍的力量揍别人
he beat someone else's for me two-fold.
毫无疑问他以前是个混♥蛋♥
Now, he was an asshole. No doubt.
但他也不能容忍♥
But he also couldn't stand for anybody
有人做错事还逃之夭夭
getting away with doing something wrong.
听起来像我们认识的人吗
Does that sound like anybody else we know?
我让你吃香蕉了吗
Could I offer you a banana?
-抱歉 -吃吧我还有一根
- Sorry. - Go ahead, have it. I got another one.
在家里
It's at home.
听着韦恩总会有人
Listen, Wayne, there's always gonna be people
对别人行恶
doing rotten stuff to other people,
但得交给合适的人以合适的方式处理问题
but you got to let the proper people handle it the proper way.
交给我这样的人交给法律...
People like me and the law...
倒是没人帮我爸处理
Well, no one handled it for my dad.
没人想看到事情发展成那样
Well, nobody likes the way that that went down, okay?
大家都知道他是因为那工作才病的
Everybody knows that work is what made him sick.
大家也都知道判决对他有多不公
And everybody knows that he got screwed in court.
这不对
It wasn't right.
听着你完全有理由生气
Listen, you have every reason to be mad.
-你妈离开了... -没错但我不关心她好吗
- Your mom takin' off... - Yeah, I don't care about her, okay?
如果你一辈子都在打击不义行为
If you run around righting wrongs all your life,
那你一生就这样了
that'll be your life.
我知道步父母后尘是件易事
And I know it's easy to follow in family footsteps,
但你不必这样
but you don't have to.
那我该成为什么样的人
What should I be then?
我不知道小伙子
I don't know, man.
别像那两个白♥痴♥一样
Just don't be like those two dickheads.
我没骗你小老弟
I'm not lying, man.
那些口袋妖怪卡片都是正品
Those Pokemon cards are real. And they change...
-放过他吧 -求求你住手
- Leave him alone! - Come on! Stop!
-冷静机器人小姐 -拜托
- Chill out, robot girl. - Come on.
-你想干什么 -你怎么不继续了
- What you want, huh? - Why aren't you trying?
到底是怎么回事
What the hell is going on down there?
韦恩韦恩我刚才跟你说什么了
Wayne. Wayne, we just talked about this.
韦恩
Wayne.
韦恩
Wayne!
这下好了学校你是回不去了
Well, you will not be going back to that school.
对不起我毁了你的午餐约会
I'm sorry, I ruined your lunch date.
你什么情况才来上学一分钟
What about you? You just come to school
就把人牙打掉了
just to knock people's teeth out or what?
我需要钱
I need to get money.
-为了什么 -买♥♥饼干
- For what? - Cookies.
饼干
Cookies?
如果我买♥♥了这女孩的饼干
Yeah, if I buy cookies from this girl,
她可能会和我约会
uh, she might go out with me.
天哪我的铁子韦恩终于出巢觅女友了
Holy shit! My man Wayne, on the prowl.
-闭嘴 -看看你你长大了兄弟
- Stop. - Look at you, all grown up, man.
问个很重要的问题
So, uh, important question.
你知道姑娘的胸长在哪吗
Do you know where to find the boobies on the lady? You know...
-我弄死你 -我投降投降
- I'll fucking kill you. - Okay, okay, okay, man, okay.
这是我第一次听你聊异性兄弟
This is just the first time you've ever talked to me about a girl, man.
别提了
Okay.
她一定有特别之处她叫什么
She must be something special. What's her name?
不知道
I don't know.
是个不错的开端
Okay, well, that's a great start.
等等我有主意了
Hold up. I got an idea.
都归你了
It's all yours.
开玩笑吧
Holy shit!
全是你♥爸♥珍藏的大♥波♥美女杂♥志♥啊
It's your dad's collection of titty mags!
我在做梦吧
Surreal.
乖乖 1982年出版
Whoo-wee! 1982.
毛发真旺盛
So much hair.
不拿个大垃圾袋都装不下啊
I need a goddamn garbage bag!
给钱
Money.
给你
Here.
拿命守着明白吗拿命守着
Guard these with your life, okay? With your life!
明白吗
All right?
我马上回来取
I'll be back for these later!
诺顿一狗窝
你这是要私闯民宅吗
You trying to break into my house?
不
No.
不是
No!
逗你玩呢
Just busting your balls.
不坐下吗
You gonna sit?
坐
Yeah.
我...
I, uh...
不好意思
Oh, no.
刚卖♥♥完最后一盒
I just sold my last box.
-没关系 -开玩笑的
- That's okay. - I'm just kidding.
给你留了一盒
I saved you one.
狗屎椰子味的
It's the, uh, shitty coconut kind,
尝起来像粑粑的那种
you know, the one that tastes like asshole,
但反正有总比没有强
but still, thought that counts or whatever.
狗屎味也没问题
I'm fine with the asshole one.
天哪你给太多了
Oh, God, I don't need that much.
我们说好了的
We had a deal.
记得吗
Right?
好吧
Okay.
我有要求
Here's the rules.
我不喜欢搞浪漫那套懂吗
I don't like that romance shit, all right?
我讨厌花
I don't like flowers.
我不想在情人节收到愚蠢的礼物
I don't want a stupid Valentine on Valentine's.
我也不想天天牵着你冒汗的肥手
I don't wanna hold your fat, sweaty hand all the time,
而且我永远不会给你做饭的
and I'm never gonna cook for you
除非我要做给自己吃
unless I'm making something for myself.
-记住了吗 -嗯
- Got it? - Yeah.
还有别用那个眼神看着我
And don't look at me like that.
该死
Shit.
我还不知道你叫什么
I, uh, don't know your name.
我叫韦恩
Mine's Wayne.
见了鬼了