韦恩

Wayne S01E03

Part 2 May 19, 2020, 2:17 p.m.

我不是因为韦恩
It ain't Wayne.
我是失去了一个家人
There was a death in my family.
阿古斯今天早上去世了
Argus died this morning.
我的牧羊犬
My Shepherd Terrier.
他是条好狗狗非常忠心
He was a good dog. He was loyal.
他讨厌散步我俩简直是天作之合
He hated going on walks, which was nice for me
因为我也讨厌散步
because I hate walking, too.
我不养宠物
I don't get pets.
我的邻居们天天都拿个绿袋子
All these people in my neighborhood with these green bags
守在宠物旁边等着铲屎
standing around waiting for something to shit.
我还是算了
No, thanks.
可能是我的水有问题
I think maybe there's something in my water, you know.
我一直试着换各种各样的狗粮
I kept changing the dog food over and over.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
这是我两年里死掉的第四条狗了
This is my fourth dog to die in two years.
阿古斯[希腊神话中的百眼巨人]
Argus,
阿耳特弥斯[希腊神话中的月亮女神]
Artemis,
阿马迪厄斯[源自拉丁语命名爱神]
Amadeus,
阿杏[水果杏果]
Apricot.
所以你是那种
Oh, so you're one of those people
按字母表给狗起名字的人吗
who name all their dogs the same letter.
你的关注点就在这吗
That's what you got out of this story?
我这是怎么了
Ah, what the hell is wrong with me?
四只狗狗照片里都健健康康的突然就死了
Four dogs, the picture of health, just drop dead?
我上辈子是造了什么孽啊
Jesus, it's like I'm fucking cursed!
节哀顺变
I'm very sorry for your loss.
可能你就不适合养宠物
Maybe you're just a bad pet owner.
这汽车旅馆烂死了
This motel sucks.
淋浴间的水一股恶臭
The shower water smells,
毯子闻着像地下室的霉菌
the blankets stink like basement.
不过毛巾倒是挺软的
This towel is really soft though.
起床我们去游泳
Get up. We're going swimming.
我们不能去游泳
We can't go swimming.
我们得上路了去佛罗里达
We need to be getting on the road, get to Florida,
去找我爸的车
to my dad's car.
拜托这是近日来唯一一个阳光灿烂的日子
Come on, it's the first sunny day in, like, forever.
我需要日光浴我都像一滩牛奶似的惨白了
I deserve a tan. I look like a gallon of milk.
你也看到报纸上的照片了
You saw the pictures in the paper.
我们好像被通缉了还是什么
We're, like, wanted or whatever.
放轻松
Relax,
我们又不是什么邦妮和克莱德
it's not like we're Bonnie and Clyde or something'.
美国历史上著名鸳鸯大盗
我今天必须穿着这件比基尼游泳
I'm swimming in this bikini. Today.
你不想来的话我也没办法
You don't wanna be there, I can't fucking help you,
但这比基尼我穿定了
but this bikini is getting used.
这水看着不怎么干净
That doesn't look healthy.
你谁啊英国公主吗
What are you? The Prince of England?
没听说过泥浴吗
Ain't you never heard of a mud bath?
没
No.
别去
Don't.
我开玩笑的
I'm joking.
谁会去这种水池里游泳
Who the hell would get into that thing?
狗屎汽车旅馆二号♥
Shit motel number two!
-拿到了 -是啊借过一下
- Got it? - Yeah, coming through.
没人想踏进这种水池
Well, no one's fucking in that thing.
-干嘛呢 -你干嘛呢
- 'Sup? - 'Sup with you?
去代托纳海滩过春假的路上
Heading down to spring break, Daytona.
一路上在各种狗屎汽车旅馆歇脚
Currently, on the shitty motel tour all the way there.
这儿确实像是公厕
Shithole, no doubt.
你知道怎么让这狗屎地方看起来不像公厕吗
You know what makes shitty motels seem less shitty?
喝到妈都不认识
Getting shit-faced.
我们自♥制♥了粉红欲♥火♥焚身酒
We made Pink Panty-Droppers.
一种混合了伏特加
粉色柠檬水和啤酒的鸡尾酒
一起吧
Join.
好了这就对了
All right, here we go.
行啊可以啊
Yeah, cool. All right.
给你
There you go.
科尔校长我有话跟你说
Principal Cole, I have to talk to you.
奥兰多你♥他♥妈♥...给我出去
Orlando, what the... Get out of here!
抱歉你拉完了吗
I'm sorry. Are you done using the bathroom?
我没在...
Uh, no, I wasn't...
我就在这坐会儿
I'm just sitting here.
坐在厕所吗呼吸这些恶臭空气吗
In the bathroom? Just breathing in all this nasty air?
这是教职工厕所你咋进来的
This is the faculty bathroom. How the hell did you get in here?
-我有钥匙 -教职工厕所的吗
- I have a key. - To the faculty bathroom?
给我
Gimme those.
这地方是给我用的
Okay, this place, this is for me.
这是唯一一个我可以安静思考的圣地了
This is the only place I have that's for me. It's sacred.
听我说这事儿跟韦恩有关
Listen, it's about Wayne.
那样的话别让我看见你
Oh, well, in that case, get the hell outta here!
这孩子给我添的麻烦还不够多似的
As if that kid hasn't caused me enough freaking vexation.
但我们必须得帮他
But we gotta help him.
听着我知道没有你那保镖跟在身边
Look, I know that life's been a little difficult
你的生活有点艰难
for you lately without your bodyguard,
但谁让你一开始就惹是生非
but maybe you shouldn't have done a bunch of stuff
落到这步田地的
that made you need a bodyguard.
但他现在真有麻烦了不开玩笑
But he's just in real trouble. I'm serious.
听着
Look.
这些家伙在追捕他
These guys, they're going after him.
他们在添置球棒
They're buying bats.
他们可能是棒球运动员
Well, maybe they're baseball players.
看他们写了什么
Look what they wrote.
"向佛罗里达进发杀了狗逼韦恩"
"Heading out to Florida to kill that motherfucker Wayne."
他们要带着球棒去找韦恩麻烦
They're going at him with bats and shit.
我们必须得帮他
We need to help him.
你知道我已经试图帮那孩子多少次了吗
Do you know how many times I tried to help that kid?
好多次我都觉得
How many times I thought,
"我的孜孜教诲终于进了这颗小脑袋了"
"That message I just gave Wayne really hit home"
"他从今往后会洗心革面的"
"And now he's gonna turn his life around,"
但结果就是他置若罔闻
only to have him completely ignore me
然后接着用拳头或小号♥打掉别人牙齿
and remove some kid's teeth with his knuckles? Or a trumpet?
我真受够了奥兰多我受够了
I'm done, Orlando. I'm done.
佛罗里达也没那么远我们可以一起过去
Florida ain't that far. We could go together.
-你是唯一一个他肯听的大人 -"一起去"
- You're the only adult that he listens to. - "Go together."
真的假的韦恩说过这话吗
Really? Did Wayne say that?
也没我猜的
Not really. I gleaned it.
"猜的" 我信了你的邪
"Gleaned it." Oh, man.
听着奥兰多
Look, Orlando,
我绝对不会带着一个十六岁学生公路旅行
I'm not about to take one of my 16-year-old students on a road trip.
我不知道你最近有没有看报纸
I don't know if you read the papers lately,
但正常人都不会干这事儿
but it's not a popular thing to do.
反正你也无事可干啊
Well, what do you got to do anyway?
过两天就放春假了
It's spring break in, like, two days.
你无妻无子一个老光棍
You don't have a wife, no kids,
没女朋友狗也死了
no girlfriend. No dogs now.
这也不是什么秘密无意冒犯但是...
Everyone knows. No offense, but...
-你屁事也没有了 -注意语言
- You ain't got shit. - Hey, watch your language.
我还真有屁事
I do have shit.
我有件事要干啥都知道先生
I have a thing, Mr. Know-it-all.
而且还很重要我确实有屁事要做
An important thing, actually. I do have shit.
好好"猜猜"吧
So, glean that.
好吧你有什么事
Okay, then, what you got?
我要在「用领导力重燃希望」会议上
I have a speech to give to a bunch of other principals
给其他一堆校长演讲
at a Recharging Hope with Leadership conference.
听着一点都不高端因为确实很低端
Which sounds lame when I say it because it is.
总之我要去夏洛特待几天
Anyway, I gotta to be in Charlotte for a few days,
你还是把这事留给警♥察♥吧
so you're gonna have to leave it to the cops.
去佛罗里达正好途径北卡罗来纳
Hey, North Carolina is on the way to Florida.
你这不是会地理吗
Look at that, you know geography.
以防你还没意识到你的哥们韦恩
Look, your buddy Wayne, in case you haven't noticed,
他能照顾好自己