把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E13

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:37 p.m.

Okay. I'll talk to you later, babe.
好我回头和你说宝贝
All right. Hey. Here's a pooch smooch.
好这是个狗狗接吻
Hang on. It's just a pooch smooch.
等等只是狗狗接吻啦
Yeah. Well, my doggy style is a little bit different.
我的狗交式有点不同
No, I got to go.
不我得挂了
All right. I love you.
好我爱你
No. I love you more.
不我更爱你
No. I love you more.
不我更爱你
No. I love you Okay, all right. You know what?
不我更爱... 好了知道吗
Let's just call it a tie, huh, buddy?
我们就当这是平局了好吗
Okay. Look, I'm just excited
好吧我只是很激动
that Nicki's finally moving back this weekend.
尼基这周末终于要搬回来了
You know how hard it is
你知道要维持
to keep a long-distance relationship going?
异地恋有多困难吗
Uh, no. I actually don't.
我其实不知道
Much like Chinese food,
和中国菜一样
Danny Burton has a 2-square-mile delivery zone.
丹尼·伯顿的送货范围在两平方英里内
I anticipate Nicki will be moving back here for a while,
我预料到尼基过阵子就会搬回来
so, uh, I wrote up some new house rules.
所以我写了一些新的家庭规则
All right? Here we go.
好吗开始了
No cute nicknames.
不许起萌萌的昵称
No singing together.
不许合唱
No sexy lingerie in the living room.
客厅里不许有性感内衣
And that doesn't apply to Nicki so much
这条更适用于你和你爱的那件衣服
as it's for you and that outfit that you love.
而不是尼基
It's not lingerie, all right?
那不是内衣好吗
It's just white silk boxers with little red buttons
那只是白色丝绸四角裤上面有一些红色按钮
and some nice lace trimming.
和高档蕾丝花边
All right. That's lingerie.
好吧那就是内衣
So, um, the most important rule is,
最重要的一条规矩是
If you guys watch a movie together,
如果你们一起看电影
there will be no "secret cuddling" under a blanket.
你们不许在毯子下"秘密拥抱"
I should never mistakenly see your "O" face ever again.
我绝对不该再看见你的高♥潮♥脸
By the way, it's totally like this.
顺便说一句看起来像是这样
Whatever. Every guy makes that face.
随便啦大家都会是这样
Not me. It took me years of training,
我不是花了我多年时间练习
but I was able to make myself do this.
但我终于能让自己这样做了
Oh, man. Yeah.
天啊是啊
Okay. Look. Forget about your stupid list.
听着忘了你愚蠢的清单吧
I'm just excited she's gonna be here, you know?
我只是很高兴她要来了知道吗
We haven't had sex in a month.
我们一个月没做♥爱♥了
You visited her two weeks ago.
你两周前去看她了
Yeah, but, you know, Nicki was bummed
是啊但是尼基心情不好
'cause her mom isn't doing great health-wise,
因为她妈妈身体不大好
and she feels guilty about moving here,
她觉得搬回来很内疚
so I just held her all weekend.
所以整个周末我就搂着她
You see, Danny, when you really care about someone,
丹尼当你真正关心某人
and you can't fix something,
而你无能为力时
sometimes all you can do is just be there for them.
你能做的就只有陪着他们
I want to ask you a serious question.
我想问你一个严肃的问题
Do your jeans fit differently 'cause you don't have testicles?
你没蛋蛋穿牛仔裤是不是感觉不一样啊
Danny, there are more important things in life than sex.
丹尼生活中有比性♥爱♥更重要的事
What the hell was that for?!
为什么扇我
You couldn't hear it, but your penis
你听不到但你的老二
Begged me to slap you, okay?
求我扇你耳光好吗
Thanks a lot, Danny.
非常感谢丹尼
Hey. No problem, little fella.
不用谢小家伙
Sometimes it's so cold
有时候我觉得好冷
'cause we're never going inside of things.
因为我从来不进入女人的身体
Hey, guys.
两位
Stop talking to my penis!
不要跟我的小♥弟♥弟♥说话
And I'll see you later.
回头见
All right, now. Here we go. Come on.
好了我们走吧快点
Okay. We are going.
好吧我们走
"Undateable" -- a show about friendship.
《不懂约会》一部关于友谊的电视剧
Oh, yeah. That reminds me --
这倒提醒了我
I used your toothbrush. No!
我用了你的牙刷不
Hey, man.
好啊
You working on that girl over there?
你在泡那边的女孩吗
Yeah, yeah. Don't look at her. All right?
是啊别看她行吗
She's not even looking this way.
她都没往这边看
Oh, now she is.
现在看了
Hi, pretty lady.
你好啊小美女
She's leaving. You didn't even say anything.
她走了你什么都没说
I'm in the middle of my three-day "Look progression."
我在进行三天的"目视系列"
Day one was the over-the-shoulder glance, like this.
第一天是从肩膀往后看像这样
And then tomorrow, I'm gonna break out my closers.
第二天我要打破僵局
This one asks, "Want to hang out?"
这只眼睛问你想出去玩吗
And this one's all like, "Yeah, you do."
这只眼睛表现得像你想的
And then this one's all like, "You sure?"
然后这只眼睛问你确定吗
And then this one's like, "Yeah, I'm sure."
这只眼睛表现得像我确定
And, "You positive?" And, "Yeah."
这只你确定吗那只是
And, "You want to do it?" "Yeah." "I don't know." "Yeah." "No."
你想这样做吗是的我说不好是的不是
"Yeah." "No." "Yeah." "No." "Yeah." "No." "Yeah." "No." "Yeah."
好不好好不好好不好
What, are you talking about Sophie?
你在说苏菲吗
She has a little crush on me. It's nice.
她有点喜欢我挺好的
Oh, is it a little crush, 'cause you're a little man?
有点喜欢你是因为你是个小矮子吗
She's clearly into me, all right?
她显然喜欢我好吗
You know what I've been doing all week.
你知道我这周在干什么
Staring at her like a brooding guy who lost his contacts?
盯着她好像是个搞丢了隐形眼镜的忧郁男吗
In your imaginary world
在你想象的女人更愿意
where women prefer you sexually over me,
和你上♥床♥ 而不是我的世界中
do you also have big muscles and a low manly voice?
你是不是也满身肌肉拥有低沉的嗓音
Well, you know what, Danny?
知道吗丹尼
You know what, Danny?
知道吗丹尼
There's way to tell who women prefer.
其实没办法知道女人更喜欢谁
Actually, there might be.
其实可能有
There's this app called Studscore
有个应用叫做Studscore
where women can rate the sexual performance
女人可以给跟自己睡过的男人的
of the men they've slept with.
床上表现评分
My man Danny got an 8.
我哥们丹尼得了8分
Are you sure it wasn't an 8 on its side,
你确定不是倒下的8吗
which is the symbol for infinity?
也就是无穷的标志
Maybe I got an infinity.
也许我的得分是无穷
"You know what you're getting,
你知道自己在得到什么
and it's available 24 hours."
而且24小时都有
Oh. You're like a Denny's.
你简直像是丹尼餐厅
Oh. Justin also got an 8...
贾斯丁也有8分
In a review clearly written by Nicki.
这条评论显然是尼基写的
"He's sweet, kind,
他很贴心善良
and finally seems to know what he's doing."
终于知道自己在做些什么了
The internet never lies...
网络不会撒谎
Except for that review that said this bar
除了那条说这个酒吧是
was a "Charmless void."
"难看的场所"的评论
I stand by what I wrote.
我挺我的评论
I mean, green-and-orange everything.
我是说所有地方都是绿色和橙色
Is this place a pumpkin?
这地儿是个南瓜吗
Whatever. This app is B.S.
随便啦这个应用简直是扯淡
Your score would have been a lot lower
如果有你献上童子身的那个女孩写评论
if it included the girl you lost your virginity to.
你的得分会低很多
Luckily, Carol was never a big fan of computers.
幸运的是卡罗从来都不喜欢用电脑
That's 'cause when you banged her, she was a senior citizen.
因为你搞上她时她是个老太婆
I mean, she's got to be like 70.
她现在肯定得有70岁了
Nope. No, she's not, Bursk.
不她才没有伯斯科
I mean, she would be, but she recently passed.
我是说她本来会有的但她最近去世了
Guys, I think Sophie's coming.
各位我觉得苏菲来了
Sophie's coming. Sophie's coming.
苏菲来了苏菲来了
Come on!
拜托
I hate this bar. Sorry, Les.
我讨厌这酒吧抱歉莱丝
We were just waiting to see which guy Sophie prefers.
我们只是在等着看苏菲更喜欢哪个