把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E04

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:32 p.m.

I didn't give Kevin my coat to keep his body warm.
我把外套给凯文不是为了让他的身体暖和
I did it to warm his heart.
我是为了温暖他的心
See, you've read the book, but now meet the man.
你看过书现在见见现实中的人吧
I am chicken soup for the soul.
我就是"心灵鸡汤男"
Drink me in.
把我喝了吧
Let my broth warm your insides.
让我的浓汤精华温暖你的内心
I'm not a huge fan of man-broth.
我不怎么喜欢"男精"
Yeah, me neither.
是啊我也不喜欢
Lie.
谎言啦
Sorry, Danny, but I see the good in everybody.
不好意思丹尼但我能看到每个人好的一面
and there's nothing you're gonna say that's gonna change that.
无论你说什么都是无法改变这一点的
Okay. Uh, you know how I take care of the rent checks?
好吧你知道我是怎么处理房♥租支票的吗
And you know how we split it 50/50?
你知道我们是对半分的吧
Why is mine for $600 and your check's for $400?
为什么我付600美金你只付400美金
Because I've been taking advantage of you
因为我一直在占你便宜
since the day we met.
从我们认识的那天就开始了
You've been stealing from me?!
你一直在偷我的钱吗
Yeah, I immediately regret that I used that as an example.
是啊我立刻后悔了我用这件事举例子
Sweetie, are you okay? I'm great.
亲爱的你没事吧我没事
I'm just cutting this lime into, uh, equal halves.
我只是在均匀地切开这只酸橙
This looks about right, Danny, doesn't it?
看起来差不多对吧丹尼
Oh, bro, he got you with a math burn.
哥们你数学真是太差劲了丢人啊
Also known as "Not a burn at all."
也可以说"一点也不丢人"
You should know that I've been secretly paying you back,
你应该知道我一直在暗地里还你钱
and I've been sneaking $20s into your pocket
我基本上每天都偷偷往你口袋里
just about every day.
塞20块的钞票
What?
什么
I just thought I was making more tips.
我还以为我拿的小费更多了
From who?
谁给的啊
I'm sorry.
对不起
But from now on, we'll split the rent 50/50.
但从现在开始房♥租我们五五分
But still, that doesn't mean you shouldn't let me have it.
但那并不意味着你就可以这样放过我
So go ahead. Lay it on me. All right? You ready?
所以来吧冲我发泄准备好了吗
Are you ready?
你准备好了吗
'cause hurricane Justin is coming.
因为贾斯丁飓风就要来了
Let's go live to the scene in Detroit.
我们来看看底特律的现场情况
Yeah, hi, Pam.
帕姆
Uh, the hurricane is taking form.
飓风正在成型
There seems to be a long-haired idiot out here
外面好像有个长发傻♥逼♥
who doesn't think the storm is actually coming.
他觉得飓风不会真的到来
Back to you, studio. Back to you.
你说吧演播室
Uh, uh, hi. Uh, this is Gary back at the studio.
我是演播室里的加里
It looks like a little, baby storm --
看起来像是小飓风
Probably just some mild precipitation.
可能只是一些轻微的降水
A-and the storm won't affect a-a-anything at all.
飓风不会影响什么的
Actually, Gary... you're wrong. Yeah?
实际上加里你错了什么
I can't hear you over the wind,
我听不清你
'cause it's -- it's really coming in strong.
因为风声太大了
Doesn't sound windy at all, actually, from here.
从我这里听起来一点风声都没有
Sounds like a nice sunny day!
听起来像是晴朗的一天
Uh-oh. The studio's gone. It went away.
收不到演播室的信♥号♥♥了
'cause there's thunder.
因为打雷了
Boom! Boom! It's so loud!
轰隆隆好吵
Boom! Lightning!
轰隆隆闪电
Here it comes!
来了
Wh-- why do people always take advantage of me?
大家为什么总占我便宜
I think you just answered your own question, man.
我觉得你刚回答了自己的问题
Look, this situation is just like
这形势就像是
Kevin and your coat, all right?
凯文和你的外套一样
People know that if they take advantage of you,
人们知道如果他们占你便宜
there's no ramifications.
不会有什么后果的
That's not true.
不是那样的
But if it's not true, then, uh...
如果不是那样的那么
How about this?
这样怎么样
If I took this knife right now and I stabbed you,
如果我现在拿起刀捅你
what would you do?
你会做什么
I saw something on "Dateline"
我在新闻上看到
that says most stabbings are a crime of passion.
大部分捅人案是情绪过激导致的犯罪
So, to be honest,
所以说实话
I'd be quite flattered that you cared that much.
我会受宠若惊因为你居然这么在乎
Dude, you know what -- you're hopeless.
哥们你简直无可救药
Are you whimpering right now
你现在在呜咽
because you're sad or because I cut your finger?
是因为你难过还是我切了你的手指
The second one. Daaah!
第二个
Could we have an ambulance? My friend has been stabbed.
能派俩救护车吗我朋友被捅了
Oh, no, no, no. It's just his finger.
不不只是手指
Yeah, great. I'll see you after lunch.
好啊午餐后见
O-okay. Uh, uh, Shelly, you work at a retirement home, right?
好吧谢利你在养老院工作对吧
So people must get hurt all the time there.
在那里人们肯定一直受伤
Just do what you do with them. Go ahead. Okay.
用照料他们的方法来照料他去吧
You lived a good life.
你这辈子过得很好
Now just go into that light.
现在走进光里
Wha--?!
什么
Danny said Justin's gonna be fine.
丹尼说贾斯丁会没事的
Guess how many stitches he got.
猜猜他缝了几针
Eight. Nope. Guess again.
八针不再猜
Oh, this game got old fast.
这游戏很快就没劲了
So, now we can just focus
现在我们可以集中注意力
on teaching this young lady how to lie.
教这位年轻的女士如何撒谎
Honestly, honestly, you really never lie?
说真的你从来没有说过谎吗
No.
没有
So she's like a truth bomb.
她像是真理炸♥弹♥
Game on. Candace. Yeah?
游戏开始坎迪斯嗯
Uh, why is Burski the way he is?
伯斯基为什么是这样子的
I've always believed
我总是相信
that God has to make some weirdos, too.
上帝得创造一些怪胎
And boom! Truth bomb!
砰真理炸♥弹♥
Candace, why does Brett insist
坎迪斯为什么布雷特坚持要
on making jokes at his friends' expense?
拿自己的朋友们开玩笑
Uh, growing up gay and...
他长大时是个基佬
Husky...
而且很强壮
...I think he learned to deflect the focus off of himself
我觉得他学会了把焦点从自己身上
and onto other people.
转移到别人身上
Oh, this is much better than your dumb stitch-guessing game.
这比你愚蠢的缝针游戏好多了
Really?
真的吗
Hey, Candace, what do you think
坎迪斯你怎么看
about an adult who still watches cartoons?
依然看卡♥通♥节目的成年人
Oh. I wouldn't call that person an adult.
我不会称他未成年人
More of a child who never really grew up.
更像是没长大的孩子
This game is over!
这游戏结束了
I'm an adult man.
我是成年人
And I'm gonna take my candy and my sticker book
我要带着我的糖果和我的贴纸书
and be on my way.
走了
Wait, I -- I'm confused.
等等我困惑了
I thought you were gonna teach me how to lie
我还以为你是要教我撒谎
so that I could get Mo back.
好让我要回小汽
I don't have to teach you anything.
我没必要教你什么
With that innocent, little disney face,
你有这么一张天真萌萌的小脸
people will believe anything you say.
你说什么大家都会信的
I just have to convince you to say the words.
我只用说服你说出来
Let me put it this way --
我这样说吧
Who would take better care of Mo than you?
谁会比你更好地照顾小汽
No one.
没人
I already got a dog bed that fits the both of us.
我已经买♥♥了一张能容得下我俩的狗床
Hey, he's back!
他回来了
Quiet down.
安静一下
I believe Justin has a question.
我想贾斯丁有个问题
All right, you know what -- he's actually in a lot of pain,
他实际上很痛
so...
所以
Seriously, what's your question?
说真的你的问题是什么