把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E02

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:32 p.m.

Wow. You drank that really fast.
哇你喝酒喝得好快啊
You should see me have sex.
我做♥爱♥那才叫真的快呢
You are not great at bragging.
你可真不擅长吹牛
That's just Bursk being Bursk.
伯斯科就是这样的人
I've only been here for a couple of weeks,
我才来这里上班几周
but I feel like I'm really getting to know you guys.
但我觉得我已经开始了解你们这伙人了
Like, Justin, you are an incredible boss
比如贾斯丁你是个超棒的老板
And a great dancer.
跳舞也很棒
Oh, please.
得了啦
And, Danny, I know whenever somebody compliments Justin,
丹尼我还知道只要有人夸奖贾斯丁
you have to prove you're better than him.
你就会证明你比他强
That's actually not true. Do you guys want a --
才不是呢你们想...
Anybody want a pretzel?
有谁想吃脆饼吗
And, Shelly, you're magic,
谢利你就是超赞的魔术师
because you make me disappear a lot.
因为你经常会让我消失
Oh, where did she go?!
她去哪儿了啊
Though I don't love being tied to the disappearance of a white girl.
不过我可不想跟一个白人女孩的失踪案有关
And my favorite bartender, Brick.
这位是我最爱的酒保布里克
I'm the only bartender,
我是唯一的酒保
And it's Brett.
而且我叫布雷特
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
对哦对哦
I was just gonna do a record-scratch thing, like...
我刚刚是想模仿唱片有划痕播放出来的声音
Brick-a-Brick- a-bri-I-ck-Brett.
布里克布里克布呀布雷特
I'm really bad with names.
我真的很不擅长记名字
I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year,
我跟我男友约会一年多了
and I still don't know his friends' names.
但我却依然记不住他的朋友们的名字
That's why he gave me the nickname dumb-dumb.
所以他给我取了个外号♥叫"笨笨"
He sounds great.
他听上去人很好啊
I know how hard it is to be the new kid.
我知道作为一个新来的人是什么感觉
I had to go to a new school in sixth grade.
我6年级时曾转学去一所新学校
I didn't have many friends.
我当时没什么朋友
It was that moment that they all realized
就在那一刻大家都意识到
that Justin had the worst childhood ever.
贾斯丁拥有最不堪回首的童年
What are you doing?
你在干什么呢
I just bought "The wonder years" DVD box set,
我刚买♥♥了《纯真年代》的DVD套装
So I'm doing my own voiceover in my actual life.
所以我打算在现实生活中为自己加入旁白
That's insane, Danny. Nobody wants that.
真是太疯狂了丹尼没人想要那样的
But they all wanted it.
但他们都想要啊
It's just that nobody had the courage to say it.
只是没人有勇气说出来而已
Just like no one was telling Justin
就像没人告诉贾斯丁
that he stands like a dancer on break.
他站着的姿势就像休息中的舞者
Well, there's a bit of a flaw there, Danny.
你这话有点瑕疵啊丹尼
Dancers don't take breaks. Five, six, seven, and...
舞者是不会休息的五六七然后...
And we're back.
我们又回来了
Just like Detroit.
就跟底特律一样
Okay, you've ruined comebacks.
好吧你毁了我们的回归盛典
'sup, bae?
好呀宝贝儿
I dig your dump truck.
我好爱你的"大车厢"
I'm talking about your butt.
我是指你的屁♥股♥
You're a pig.
你真是下流的猪
And second of all, thanks. I've had a rough day.
其次谢谢我今天过得很不顺
I know another way you could thank me.
我还想到一种你可以谢我的方法
Come over to my place and hop on the pony.
不如去我家骑个大马什么的
If you're talking about a real pony, I'll go.
如果你说的是真正的马我愿意去
If you're talking about your penis, I will not.
如果你说的是你的鸡鸡那我坚决不去
Guys, this is my boyfriend, Trent.
各位这是我男朋友特伦特
He's a deejay.
他是个DJ
Oh, no way. I'm a deejay, too.
不是吧我也是个DJ呢
No, you're not.
不你根本不是
Uh, I have a computer and headphones,
我有电脑也有耳机
And I know how to jump up and down
我还会上蹿下跳
and press play on iTunes, so...
在iTunes上按播放键所以...
Yeah, I'm a deejay.
没错我就是个DJ
Trent, these are my -- okay, we're going.
特伦特这些都是我的...好吧我们得走了
See ya!
再见
He's a total tool, and that's coming from me,
他是个大混♥蛋♥ 而且这话还是我说的
so you know he's got to be pretty bad.
所以你们很清楚他一定相当差劲
Look, we -- we have to tell Candace
听着我们必须告诉坎迪斯
that she can do better than Trent.
她可以找到比特伦特更好的男人
I actually have an even better idea.
其实我有个更好的主意
We should never tell her ever, because if we do,
我们绝不能告诉她因为一旦告诉了
She's gonna want to kill us.
她会想杀了我们的
If I were her, I'd want to know.
如果我是她我会想知道的
Oh, really, Leslie?
是吗莱丝莉
Because you just loved it when I told you that
因为当年我跟你说你的高中男友
your boyfriend in high school was cheating on you.
背叛了你时你很高兴是吧
Relax. I barely hit you.
淡定我又没打你
With your car.
差点没开车撞死我
Danny, Candace hasn't had the greatest childhood.
丹尼坎迪斯的童年不怎么幸福
She grew up poor,
她小时候家里很穷
not many friends, dad never around.
没什么朋友父亲也不在身边
'cause, you see, when I hire people,
你看出来了没当我雇用员工时
I become, well, sort of a father figure.
我有点像是变成了一个父亲的角色
Are you done?
你摸完了吗
Not yet, bucko.
没有小伙儿
I already know what kind of father I'm gonna be.
我已经知道我会成为一个怎样的父亲了
A listener -- check. A teacher -- check.
一个倾听者符合一个老师符合
A hardass who doesn't bend the rules -- no check.
一个不知变通的老顽固不符合
Then, one day, my son JJ will come in,
有一天我的儿子JJ会走进来
Justin Jr.
就是小贾斯丁啦
And he'll walk up to me and say,
他会走到我面前说
"Hey, dad, um, do you mind if I quit football
"爸你介意我退出橄榄球队
to join the school production of 'grease'?"
加入学校的音乐剧《油脂》吗"[男同最爱]
"You're grounded if you don't."
"如果你不退出才会被禁足呢"
That's why, when I'm on my death bed,
也正因此在我垂死之时
My son will lean down and say to me,
我儿子会俯过身来对我说
"Daddy, I love you."
"爸爸我爱你"
"But we're pulling the plug."
"但我们要拔掉你维生机器了"
My son would never pull the plug on me.
我儿子绝不会拔掉我的维生机器的
I work at a retirement home.
我可是在养老院工作的
Trust me -- he will.
相信我他会的
Bye, Jake.
再见杰克
So, how was your date?
你的约会进行得怎么样
Jake thinks I'm a horrible kisser.
杰克觉得我吻技很烂
I've gotten that before.
我以前也得到过差评
I've also heard "Too wet,"
我得到的其他差评包括"太多口水
"Too much tongue," "Penis out" -- usual stuff.
舌头搅动过多鸡鸡钻出来了"等常见情况
My first foray into dating,
我第一次正式约会
and -- and he's gonna tell the entire gay community
他会告诉基圈的所有人
that I can't kiss.
我不会接吻
Jake's my friend.
杰克是我朋友
Calm down. He's not gonna say anything.
淡定他不会出去乱说的
That's him, isn't it,
是他发来的对吧
Telling you how bad I was, isn't it?
告诉你我有多差劲对吧
It is him, but it's just an emoji of a kissy face.
的确是他不过就是个亲吻的表情符号♥而已
Okay.
好吧
Followed by #I'mStraightNow.
接着是#我被迫成为直男了
Guys, guys, it's time to tell Candace about Trent.
各位该跟坎迪斯谈谈特伦特的事了
All right, Shell, you're our hug guy.
小谢你是我们的"抱抱熊"
I need you to have one ready.
我需要你准备好一个拥抱
I always keep one in the chamber.
我时刻准备好一个备用
All right, let's do this. Come on.
好了开始吧一起来
Candace.
坎迪斯
I think I might know what this is about.
我大概知道这是所为何事
I am very sorry that I slapped that customer.
我很抱歉我抽了那个顾客一耳光
I didn't know sex on a beach was a drink.
我之前不知道"沙滩性♥爱♥"是一款酒的名字
Candace, listen, Trent hit on Leslie.
坎迪斯听我说特伦特之前勾搭了莱丝莉
He's not a good guy.
他不是个好男人
You're a jerk.
你真是个混♥蛋♥
I mean, who asked you guys, anyways?
谁问你们了啊