把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E09

Part 4 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:35 p.m.

各位刚发生了一件特疯狂的事
I was just minding my own business,
我正在做自己的事
doing my morning ritual,
进行我的早间仪式
air-drying my hair by shaking my head like this. Okay?
像这样甩头风干我的头发好吗
You know how I do it, all right?
你们知道我是怎么做的好吗
Then I heard gunshots. You want to know what I did?
然后我听见了枪声你们想知道我做了什么吗
Well, since you're a white man,
因为你是个白人
I assume you walked towards them?
我猜你直接走了过去
Confident that you'd be protected by your whiteness.
相信你的小白脸能保护你
Then I see this bad guy -- okay? -- and he's got a gun.
然后我看到了一个坏人他拿着一把枪
And I don't even think. I just, like, don't even process it.
我连想都没想我都没过脑子
I just kick, right? I did two swift kicks.
我直接踢了好吗两下无影脚
I hit him right in the neck, like right there,
我踢到了他的脖子就在这里
and then I heard the director yell "Cut,"
然后我听到导演喊停
and I realize I just throat-kicked Liam Neeson.
我才意识到我踢了连姆·尼森的喉咙
Yeah, I heard they were making an action movie downtown.
是的我听说他们正在市中心拍动作片
And thanks to my natural charisma
感谢我的天生丽质
and precision ka-ra-te...
还有精准的空手道
...you're now looking at Liam Neeson's new co-star.
你们现在看到的是连姆·尼森的新合作演员
My name's "Cop number four."
我的名字叫"四号♥警♥察♥"
My line is, "That's how we --"
我的台词是"咱们就是..."
that's how we do it. That's how we do it. That's how we do it.
咱们就是这样做的咱们就是这样做的
"That's how we do it in the J-squad!"
"咱们J警队就是这样做的"
Cool. What's the movie called?
真棒电影叫什么
The movie's called "K-squad."
电影叫《K警队》
Everybody in J-squad gets killed in the first 10 minutes.
J警队开场十分钟就被全歼了
Is there a part in there for me, maybe, in this movie?
这部电影里有我能演的角色吗
There might be a part for you if the J-squad starts attacking
也许有你能演的角色如果J警队突然
all the adults who still shop at old navy.
开始袭击仍在老海军店买♥♥衣服的家伙
Guys! So, you know how it's super hard
各位你们知道整天在贾斯丁旁边
for me to be around Justin all the time?
对我来说有多艰难吧
Well, I've decided to get my own place, and I have a great plan.
我决定自己找房♥了我有个很棒的计划
I'm gonna win a house in a contest.
我要通过比赛赢一套房♥子
Did somebody just say "Contest"?
有人刚说比赛了吗
You know, if it's a singing contest,
如果是歌♥唱比赛
the two of us would be...
我们两个一定
**Unstoppable*
*所向无敌
No, Justin!
不贾斯丁
Justin, I'm not gonna harmonize with you
贾斯丁我不会趁你女友不在
while your girlfriend's away -- I'm not that kind of girl!
和你和声的我不是那种女孩
How exactly does somebody "Win" a house?
一个人怎么赢一套房♥子啊
Well, the city is fixing up some abandoned neighborhoods.
市政♥府♥正在整修一些废弃的社区
to help market Detroit, I convinced them
为了宣传底特律我说服他们
to give a house away. It's supersimple.
赠出一套房♥子比赛非常简单
You basically have to stand outside and touch the house,
基本上就是站在外面摸着房♥子
and then the last person left standing wins.
站最久的人赢
It's a good story for Detroit.
这是个底特律的好故事
I hope it'll go viral.
我希望能在网上病毒式传播
If you want something to spread virally, I'm your man.
如果你想传播病毒我最在行
You should put a condom on your mouth.
你嘴上应该戴套了
Candace, I like you living upstairs.
坎迪斯我喜欢你住在楼上
You don't have to move out.
你不必搬出去
Sheesh, Justin,
天啊贾斯丁
toss that thing in reverse and back off a little bit.
收回你的话离老娘远点
Beep...beep... beep...beep...beep
倒车倒车倒车
Ow! Beep...beep...
倒车倒车
Why does it feel like she's throwing me a lot of shade?
我为什么感觉她总在为难我
Is she mad at me?
她生我气了吗
I don't know, man.
我不知道老兄
Maybe she just wants some space.
也许她只是需要点空间吧
Why don't you just chill?
你为什么不放松点
Chill?
放松点
Danny,
丹尼
you chill white wine, you chill seviche.
你整天喝白葡萄酒吃酸橘汁腌鱼放松
Occasionally, you chill with the homies.
偶尔还会和好哥们儿一起放松
Isn't that right, Shell?
对不对小谢
It's been way too long, son. Way too long. Yeah.
太久了伙计太久了是啊
Who's that guy? Some guy named Damon
那家伙是谁一个叫达蒙的家伙
from, uh, Brett's hometown in the U.K.
是布雷特的英国同乡
Do you ever notice that
你有没有发现
when British people are around each other,
当英国人聚在一起的时候
they sound even more British?
他们的英国腔更重
Yeah, I'd give him an old-school crash-bang-boosh,
对哈我给了他一记老式噼里啪啦
and I'm going, "Shut up! You mugging me up?!"
然后说得了吧你还想打劫我
Bish bash bosh. Crash bang!
咯噔砰咻噼里啪啦
Wallop, son?!
咋地伙计
That was gibberish. We heard you.
刚才是胡扯我们听见了
Don't worry, mate.
别担心兄弟
You will meet that lucky lady, son.
你会遇到那个幸运的女孩的伙计
All right, mate. All right, son.
好的兄弟好的伙计
See you soon enough. All right.
不久后见好的
Okay, quick question --
好了问你个小问题
Does he know that you're not looking for a lucky lady
他知道你没在找幸运的女孩吗
unless she's standing next to Benedict Cumberbatch?
除非她站在本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇的旁边
Look, no one from my hometown knows I'm gay, okay?
听着我家乡没人知道我是同性恋好吗
And I only came out last year.
而且我是去年才出柜的
And I left that place when I was 18.
我十八岁就离开家乡了
If you're not out to everyone, I mean, you're not out.
如果你没对所有人出柜那就不算出柜
Why does it matter? I'm not going back to Finchingfield.
这有什么关系我又不会回芬兴菲尔德
And Damon's the first person I've seen
而且达蒙是我离开家乡后
since I left my hometown. It's just...
遇到的第一个同乡只是...
It is what it is, okay?
就是这样好吗
Great house, Les. It's a great neighborhood.
好房♥子莱丝这个社区不错
People come here to buy weed now instead of crack.
人们如今来这里买♥♥大♥麻♥ 而不是可♥卡♥因♥
Hi, boys.
伙计们
Just out running my errands.
我刚在办事
Got some eggs and weed.
买♥♥了点鸡蛋和大♥麻♥
He's making his favorite omelet.
他要做他最爱的煎蛋卷
Guys, thank you so much for coming to cheer me on.
各位谢谢你们来为我加油打气
Of course. I'm gonna do the cheer I do every night
当然啦我要做我每晚在养老院喊的
at the retirement home --
加油口号♥
"Be alive! Be -- be alive!"
活下去活下去
Oh, um, Justin, you really don't need to stay.
贾斯丁你没必要留下来
I know you're probably busy at the bar and everything.
我知道你在酒吧可能很忙
Friendship's a full-time job,
友谊是全职工作
and I clocked in the second we met.
我们遇见的那一秒起我就打卡上班了
See, I'm kind of like spanx.
我就像是塑身内衣
I'm there to support you wherever you need it.
你想要我支撑[支持]哪里都行
Hey, man, um...
哥们
We already talked about this -- you have to stop
我们谈过的你必须停止
comparing yourself to female undergarments.
把自己比作女性内衣了
Danny, I can't help it if I'm the underwire bra
丹尼如果我是钢圈文胸
that keeps this group perky and alert.
能让这支团队活泼警觉
Hey, dumb-dumb. Come to watch me win a house?
笨笨来看我赢一栋房♥子的吗
Trent? Ugh!
特伦特
Oh, god, it's her loser ex-boyfriend.
天啊是她的废柴前男友
If I enter the contest, I could save Candace from Trent.
如果我参加比赛就能从特伦特手里拯救坎迪斯
In the amount of time we'll spend together,
我们相处的时候
I'll find out why she's being weird.
我会搞明白她为什么很奇怪
I'm joining.
我要加入
Oh, this is a disaster.
真是一场灾难
The only reason she's doing all this is to get away from Justin.
她这样做的唯一原因就是远离贾斯丁
Yeah. It sucks.
是啊真糟糕
Well, I'm gonna run.
我要走了
I think I hear an ice-cream truck coming.
我觉得我听到冰淇淋车来了
Good news, Candace -- got the last spot.
好消息坎迪斯拿到了最后一个名额
Looks like we're gonna ride this out together.
看来咱俩要同舟共济了
Help me.
帮帮我
Oh, come on, Danny.
拜托丹尼
You're her friend. She looks up to you.
你是她的朋友她尊敬你
Come on, cop number four!