把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E09

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:35 p.m.

这很复杂哥们
I know you think you're the dad whisperer here, okay,
我知道你觉得自己很会跟父辈相处
but, uh, I don't know, man.
但是怎么说好呢
I don't think you're ready for this culture clash.
我觉得你没准备好面对这文化冲击
You're gonna crash and burn.
你肯定会死得很惨
Why? Because I'm white?
为什么就因为我是白人吗
Can't we live in a world without color?
难道不能不以肤色判断人吗
Yeah, I don't think you're gonna solve racism
我看在晚餐前你是没法解决
before dinner.
种族歧视问题的了
Danny's right. Culture clash is real.
丹尼说得没错真的会有文化冲突
My boyfriend, Mike, is latino,
我男朋友麦克是拉丁美洲人
and the first thing his mom said to me
他妈妈对我说的第一句话就是
is that my hips were too narrow to have his babies.
我骨盆太小生养不好
What'd you say? Gracias.
你说了什么谢谢[西语]
The first white girl I ever dated
我交往过的第一个白人女孩
told me a whole bunch of crazy white-girl stuff.
跟我说了很多白人女孩的疯狂事
Like yoga, recycling...
像是什么瑜伽环保回收
That's about it.
好像就这么多了
Yeah, you know, when there's a cultural clash,
如果遇到文化冲突
you just got to roll with it, whether it's language, food,
你只能顺着来不管是语言食物
sense of humor... Oh, yeah. Humor's a big one.
还是幽默感幽默感是个大难题
I dated an asian girl once,
我以前跟个亚洲女孩交往过
and she laughed like she had a secret, like...
她笑起来就跟有什么小秘密似的
Oh, uh, and then I dated a black girl,
后来我又跟个黑人女孩交往过
and her dad laughed crazy, man.
她爸爸的笑声可恐怖了
Black dudes are the best laughers,
黑人笑起来最猛了
'cause they don't just laugh; they relocate.
他们不光会笑还会蹦跶
You know, you'll tell a joke,
你讲个笑话
And then they'll be like, "Ohhhhhhhhh!"
他们能乐得到处蹦跶
Uh, I actually made her dad laugh so hard
有一回我让她爹笑得
that, one time, he drove to Las Vegas.
直接蹦跶到拉斯维加斯去了
I think it's cute that you want to help me,
我很感谢你想给我提供帮助
but I'm gonna tell you the same thing
但我要跟你说一句当时
I told the girl I lost my virginity to....
我对破我处的女孩说的话
I really think I know how this works.
我真的懂怎么实操
Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go bake my famous muffins.
失陪一下我要去烤我著名的玛芬蛋糕
Still have to pick up some of the secret ingredients
还得去买♥♥点秘密材料
that make them oh, so sweet.
让蛋糕甜得让人不可自拔
So I'm gonna go grab Lauren,
我现在就去接劳伦
and then I'm gonna get myself a little brown sugar.
再来点我的小黑糖
I'll worry about her dad later.
一会再担心她父亲的事
Oh. Hello, sir.
你好先生
My daughter left her phone.
我女儿把手♥机♥落下了
Here-here you go.
给你
Um, it's so nice to finally meet you.
很高兴见到您
I-I-I'm looking forward to tonight.
我很期待今夜的晚餐
Maybe you should learn a little respect.
也许你该学着放尊重点
Sure thing.
没问题
What was that about?
这是怎么回事
Let's play a game where you review
我们来玩个游戏
what you just said to him, and I'll watch your reaction.
你重复刚说过的话我来观察你的表现
Famous muffins.
著名的玛芬蛋糕
Get me a little brown sugar.
来点小黑糖
Oh, no. Oh, my god, no.
不天呐不
Moment of truth. Wish me luck at dinner, guys.
见证真♥相♥的时刻祝我好运
Oh. What are you doing?
你在这干什么
Oh, I'm just working on a song for a guy I like.
我在给一个我喜欢的男孩写歌♥
Oh. Can I hear it?
我能听听吗
Okay.
没问题
**I'm right here*
*我就在这儿
**You don't see*
*你却看不到
**Telling you is up to me*
*要不要告白我来决定
**I hope I tell you just in...*
*希望我能及时
**Time*
*告诉你
It's catchy.
挺朗朗上口的
Well, who's it for?
这是给谁写的
I mean, do we know this guy? What's he like?
这人我们认识吗他是个怎样的人
He's a giant idiot.
他是个大白♥痴♥
Um, he owns a bar and is very sexually inexperienced.
他开了家酒吧而且极其缺乏性经验
What's the song called?
这歌♥叫什么名字
Well, right now, the song is called
现在这歌♥叫做
"I'd like you even if my dad didn't
《就算我爸不喜欢你我还是喜欢你
because I would never care what he thought
因为我不在乎他怎么想
because you're so awesome."
皆因你实在太完美》
It's wordy.
歌♥名太长了
But I like it.
但我挺喜欢的
**Baby, let you know just in time*
*宝贝希望能让你及时知道
My dad'll be here soon,
我爸爸很快就到了
So I should get this out of my system.
我得先亲你一下预支下恩爱额度
Now, you both are probably wondering
你们两位肯定很想知道
what the theme of tonight's dinner party is.
今夜晚餐的主题是什么
Is it "Sentences I've never heard a male say"?
是"从未听过男人说的娘们话"吗
No. It's "Togetherness."
不是"亲密无间"
For example, I'm making some marble-cake muffins for dessert.
例如我做了点大理石玛芬蛋糕当甜点
They're equal parts vanilla and chocolate,
这蛋糕是香草和巧克力的完美结合
like us.
就像我们一样
You made biracial muffins?
你居然做了黑白玛芬蛋糕
Hi, boys!
伙计们好
Shelly, what are you doing here?
谢利你来干吗
Danny invited me. He said there'd be dinner.
丹尼邀请我来的说有免费晚餐
Plus, her dad's a judge, and I'm not gonna miss the chance
而且她爸爸是法官我绝对不会错过
to see the justice system screw over a white guy.
司法系统整死白人的好戏
What the hell are you doing? You know how this is gonna look?
你在干什么瞧瞧这都像什么样子
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
Well, Justin, you invited your one black friend over
贾斯丁你邀请了自己唯一的黑人朋友
to show me that you're "Down with the homies."
来向我展示自己能与黑人哥俩好吗
Oh. Now I see it.
现在我明白了
Dad, shelly's only here because of Danny.
爸爸谢利是丹尼邀请过来的
Really, Phil.
真的费尔
Uh, I'm the one who invited Shelly, okay?
邀请谢利过来的人是我
Justin doesn't even like black people in the house.
贾斯丁压根不喜欢让黑人进屋
Danny!
丹尼
He's kidding. Just calm down, son.
他在开玩笑别激动小子
Sir, Justin is one of my best friends,
先生贾斯丁是我最好的朋友之一
and I can assure you, he is as kind as he is white.
我可以向你保证他是白人里最友善那种了
No one's that kind, but I'll take your word for it.
没人能这么友善但我相信你
And, sir, I promise you -- I'll never put the words
先生我发誓我绝对不会
"Brown" and "Sugar" together again.
再乱用黑糖这词了
Yeah, he'll probably just say "Sugar of color."
是啊他可能只会说"有色的糖"
Did you guys see that?
你们看到了吗
He just relocated.
他刚才蹦跶来着
I did what, now?
我怎么了
N-nothing. It's just, I heard that, you know, when --
没什么就是我听说...
When black people laugh, they relocate.
黑人笑的时候会蹦跶
Who would say that? That's insane.
谁会说这个太扯了
You know what? I'm -- I'm fine with that, though.
那啥我不在意的
You can -- I mean, you can relocate wherever you want.
您可以想怎么蹦跶就怎么蹦跶
I'm for it. Not that I'm for relocation of -- okay.
我支持您不是说支持您蹦跶好吧
What I mean is, you can live wherever you want.
我的意思是您想住哪就住哪
You can be whoever you --
想怎么...
in any neighborhood you live your life, you do as you please.
想住什么环境都随您心意
I'm not saying --
我不是说...
listen, you could live here. I don't care.
听着您可以住这儿我不介意
Come on in, you know?
欢迎啊
You can live here -- not that you would.
您可以住这儿不是说您就会住下
You're a judge. You probably make a lot of money.
您是法官大概赚了很多钱
I mean, I hope you do. I mean, I preach --
我希望您住下我劝您...
Not that I preach. Not that there's anything wrong with --
不是劝不是有什么问题...
You know what? Who wants a drink?
那啥谁想喝点东西
You seem like a scotch man.
您看着挺爱喝威士忌的
I've been sober for 25 years.