把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E09

Part 5 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:35 p.m.

拜托四号♥警♥察♥
Is this how they do it in J-squad?
他们在J警队里就是这样做的吗
No. Sounds more like K-squad.
不听起来像是K警队做的事
What the hell are you doing?
你在干什么呢
Getting in the game.
参加比赛
Everyone, hands on the house now!
各位把手放在房♥子上
Danny!
丹尼
Thank you.
谢谢
No problem, Candace.
没问题坎迪斯
Don't worry, Danny. We're here for you.
别担心丹尼我们支持你
Well, this got boring fast.
很快就无聊了
Yo, girl, you know you'll want me back
姑娘等我有了房♥子
once I'm a homeowner.
你肯定想回到我身边
I don't want to talk to you, Trent.
我不想跟你说话特伦特
God... Yeah, dude.
天啊对哥们
Back up, discount Ashton Kutcher.
后退吧打了折扣的阿什顿·库彻
Why don't you back up, dollar-store Keanu Reeves?
不如你后退啊一元店的基努·李维斯
Yo, dude, are we gonna go right now?
哥们咱们现在要开始吗
'cause I got to warn you,
我要警告你
I've played a lot of "Street fighter II."
我经常玩《街霸II》
Round 1 -- fight!
第一轮开打
You're built like an ostrich, man. Respect.
你像是鸵鸟一样厉害啊
Thanks, Danny. I'm really glad you're here with me.
谢谢丹尼很高兴你跟我在一起
I'm proud of you, baby bro.
我为你感到骄傲小♥弟♥弟♥
Uh-oh. Incoming.
来了
What the hell, Danny? This contest was my chance
搞什么啊丹尼这次比赛是我搞清楚
to figure out what's going on with me and Candace.
我和坎迪斯怎么了的机会
I have to talk to her.
我得跟她谈谈
All right, trust me, man -- with this sort of thing, dude,
相信我对这种事
it's best to just let it be.
最好就随它去
"This sort of thing"?
这种事
You know what's going on. Tell me.
你知道怎么回事告诉我
Hey, man, I don't want to get in the middle of you two, okay?
我不想搅合你俩的事好吗
Plus, I wasn't gonna tell you anyway,
而且我本来也没打算告诉你
and now that I know you want me to tell you,
现在我知道你想要我告诉你了
it's gonna be so much more fun not telling you.
不告诉你好玩得多
Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Danny.
你弄错了丹尼
'Cause you will tell me.
你会告诉我的
And you want to know why? Because you're trapped here.
想知道原因吗因为你被困住了
And you know how you hate it
你知道你很讨厌
when I pronounce foreign words in their native tongue?
我用外语发外来词的读音吧
Well, guess what I brought Candace for breakfast.
猜猜我给坎迪斯带来什么当早饭了
A croissant.
阳角面包
Come on, man. We're in America. You call it "Krissont."
拜托我们在美国你该说羊角面包
Cut it out right now!
停止
Barcelona.
巴色罗那
Okay, I'll tell you why she's so mad at you.
好吧我告诉你她为什么这么生你的气
It's because, um...
因为
You missed her birthday.
你错过了她的生日吗
Wait, and you knew?
等等你居然知道吗
Well, what did you get her?
你送了她什么
A l-laptop...s.
笔记本电脑
You didn't even get me anything for my birthday.
我过生日你什么都没送
Yes, I did. Remember last week when I was eating pizza
我送了上周我吃披萨的时候
and you said, "Are you gonna finish that crust?"
你说你要吃完披萨皮吗
And I said, "No, you can have it,"
我说不你可以吃
and then you said, "Thank you"?
然后你说谢谢记得吗
Yeah.
记得
Happy birthday.
祝你生日快乐
Before I go pick up a birthday gift for Candace,
我去给坎迪斯买♥♥生日礼物之前
the three of us were talking and we all agree --
我们三个人聊过了我们都同意
You got to fix this thing with your hometown.
你得搞定你跟你家乡的事
You got to let people know who you are.
你得让人们知道你的身份
You're just a really special guy who likes to drive stick.
你只是一个特别的男人喜欢开手动挡
All right, stop helping.
好了别帮倒忙了
I know facing your past can be a burden.
我知道面对过去可能是个负担
I don't know if I ever told you guys this, but...
我不知道我跟你们说过没有但是
for about three dark months, I...
有那么黑暗的三周我
Well, I danced with an addiction of...claritin.
我迷上了抗过敏药物
I mean, my sinuses were clear, but my conscience was not.
我的鼻窦炎好了但我良心不安
Why can't you guys just let this go?
你们为什么不能不管这事
At my retirement home,
在我工作的养老院里
I've been with a lot of people in their last days,
我陪着很多人走完了生命的最后一段路
and I found out that the worst thing
我发现最糟糕的
is having regrets that you haven't dealt with.
就是有还没有处理的遗憾
Like, Mrs. Bosma, can you tell him what you told me?
波斯玛太太你能告诉他跟我说的话吗
I'm the one who killed...
是我杀了
Tupac.
图派克
Tupac was her family dog.
图派克是她家里的狗狗
Was he killed in a drive-by, too?
他也是被开车路过的歹徒枪击的吗
Yeah, well, technically a drive-over.
实际上是开车碾压
Look, what I'm hoping Shelly's trying to say is,
我希望谢利会说的是
you need to fix this thing before it's too late.
你得趁还来得及解决这事
I mean, remember when you came out to us?
记得你跟我们出柜的时候吗
Remember all the tears?
记得那些泪水吗
You were very emotional.
你很容易动感情
I know. 'cause I was happy for you.
我知道因为我为你高兴
And you want to know why? Because you told me
想知道为什么吗因为你跟我说
that you thought you couldn't really start your life
你觉得自己没法开始新生活
until everyone knew the real you.
直到大家了解到真正的你
Look, there's nothing that I'd like more
我很乐意重回17岁
than to be 17 and back in Finchingfield.
回到芬兴菲尔德
Only this time, I wouldn't feel so scared
只不过这次我不会觉得很害怕
and I wouldn't feel like an outsider.
也不会觉得自己是局外人
I'd march proudly up to anyone in that tiny little town
我会骄傲地走向小镇里的每个人
and tell them that I was gay.
告诉他们我是同性恋
But that ship has sailed.
但覆水难收
Damon's gone, and I don't know anyone else in that town,
达蒙走了我不认识镇子上的别人
let alone how to contact them, so...
更别提怎么联♥系♥他们所以
There's just some regrets you have to live with.
有些遗憾你就得忍♥着
Okay?
好吗
She really have a dog named Tupac?
她真有一只叫图派克的狗吗
Yeah. And you don't want to know
是的你不会想知道
what she did to the notorious c-a-t.
她对臭名昭著的猫做了什么
That's how we do things in the J-squad.
咱们J警队就是这样做的
That's how we do things in the J-squad!
咱们J警队就是这样做的
What the heck is he doing?
他在干什么呢
Waiting for the beat to drop.
等着响起鼓点
Uh, Danny told me I forgot your birthday.
丹尼告诉我我错过了你的生日
I feel horrible.
我感觉很糟糕
So I got you a gift.
所以我给你准备了一份礼物
Oh, my gosh.
天啊
Laptop cases?
笔记本电脑套子吗
For both your laptops.
给你的笔记本准备的
Look, I'm so sorry that I forgot your birthday.
真抱歉我忘了你的生日
You're too special for me to let you down like that.
对我来说你很特别我不该那样让你失望
All right, well, I'll put this back for you.
好吧我帮你放回去
Hold out your wrist. There you go.
伸出手腕好了
Thanks.
谢谢
Look, don't make a big deal out of this --
别小题大做
I got you two pretend laptops.
我给你买♥♥了两台假装的笔记本电脑
But if you play your cards right,
但是如果你好好运用自己的筹码
I'll also get you an imaginary printer.
我还会给你买♥♥一台想象中的打印机
Justin is so amazing.
贾斯丁太棒了
The only birthday present I ever got from Trent
特伦特给我送的唯一的生日礼物
was a street sign he stole from "Boner drive."
就是他从"勃起街"偷来的路标
Look, Candace, I really need you --
坎迪斯我真的需要你
"Boner drive."
"勃起街"
I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Justin, okay?
我要跟你说我对贾斯丁说过的话好吗
I don't want to get in the middle of you two.
我不想搅合你俩的事
Justin is just so --