把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E06

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:33 p.m.

Mark, that two-faced phoney.
马克那个虚伪的骗子
No, we like Mark. Love mark. Love mark.
不我们喜欢马克喜欢马克
See? See how this works? We're having fun.
瞧见了吗我们过得很开心
And then I'll tell the deejay to play
然后我会让DJ播放
"I've had the time of my life,"
《我度过了美妙的生活》
and then we'll both nail the lift move
然后我们完美表演了抬腿的动作
that we practiced as kids
我们小时候练习过
because nobody puts baby in the corner.
因为没人会罚小孩站在墙角
Wait, um...
等等
Who is putting a baby in a corner?
谁会罚小孩站在墙角啊
It's from "Dirty Dancing."
是《辣身舞》里的
No, I don't care how they got pregnant. I just...
我不在乎他们是怎么怀孕的我只是...
Uh, can you beat that? Hell yeah.
你能胜过那一切吗当然啦
You see, I'll just pull out the ol' playbook from prom.
我就使用舞会那一招
Pick you up at 4:30,
四点半去接你
that way it's golden hour for photos --
那是拍照的黄金时候
You know, a couple serious ones for mom and dad
拍几张严肃的给爸妈看
and then a couple fun ones for us,
然后拍几张好玩的
maybe even a jumper.
也许还要跳起来拍
Then after we eat -- oh, my god, I'm full --
我们吃饱之后天啊我吃饱了
We'll go dance all night.
我们跳一整晚的舞
And then, bing, guess what -- it's midnight. We're pumpkins.
然后就到午夜了我们是南瓜
My prom playbook was simple --
我的舞会剧本很简单
Tried to have sex...
尽量滚床单
And I did.
我做到了
Your night sounds just horrible.
你的夜晚听起来糟透了
Um, but I'm gonna choose...
但我要选择
Justin. Wha... what?!
贾斯丁什么
Are you serious? Mmhmm.
你是认真的吗嗯
I mean, I never won anything. I mean, this is --
我从没赢过什么这真是...
You know what? I'm gonna -- I got to Kanye this for you.
知道吗我打算给你说唱
You know what? I'm really happy for you,
我真的为你感到高兴
and I'mma let you finish, but I just got to say,
我要让你说完但我只想说
Uh, Danny Burton is the best brother of all time.
丹尼·伯顿是有史以来最棒的弟弟
Seriously? You set me up with Neil.
认真的吗你居然给我撮合了尼尔
When's the last time you took me out to dinner
你上次带我去吃晚餐
or called me up on the phone just to talk?
或者打电♥话♥只为跟我聊聊是什么时候啊
Seven?
七点吗
I don't know, Les.
我不知道莱丝
Come on. I'm your brother.
拜托我是你弟弟
Yeah, but lately...
是啊但是最近
Justin's been more of a brother than you've ever been.
比起你来贾斯丁才算我弟弟
Whatever. Maybe I'm on Barb's side now.
随便啦也许现在我站在巴布这边了
I'm gonna make you a really sharp suit, young man.
我要给你做一套很棒的西装年轻人
Shelly, you remember our deal?
谢利你记得我们的交易吧
Of course.
当然啦
Payment is $35 and two extra puddings a day.
报酬是35块每天多加两个布丁
Yes.
是的
Pudding in a retirement home are like cigarettes in jail.
养老院里的布丁就等于监狱里的香烟
I know Leslie thinks she's going to that party with Justin,
我知道莱丝莉觉得自己要跟贾斯丁去派对
but once she sees me in my new suit,
但一旦她看见我穿着新西装
game over.
游戏就结束了
Drop your pants, Romeo.
脱了裤子罗密欧
Burski, I never thought I'd have to ask you this again,
伯斯基我没想过我还会这样问你
but could you not have that old man
但你能别让那个老人
measure your penis in front of me?
在我面前给你量老二长度吗
Guys, I'm kind of worried about Bursk.
各位我有点担心伯斯科
Do you really think Leslie will go with him?
你们真觉得莱丝莉会跟他约会吗
Leslie's like me.
莱丝莉跟我一样
We're both suckers for romantic gestures.
我们都抵抗不了浪漫之举
A few weeks ago, I walked into a restaurant,
几周前我走进一家餐馆
and a cute guy held the door open for me
一个帅小伙帮我拉住了门
and I was immediately smitten.
我立马就爱上了他
A guy held the door open for you today
今天有个人帮你拉住了门
and you didn't even say anything.
你一句话都没说
Yeah, because he was ugly.
是啊因为他很丑
Beauty is on the inside.
美是在内心的
How old is that guy?
那人多老了啊
He did one measurement of me and took a nap --
他给我量了量尺寸就睡着了
Facedown.
脸朝下
Brett, call an ambulance. I lost another one.
布雷特叫救护车又死了一个
Oh, hi, Danny.
好啊丹尼
Um, Leslie and I are going shopping later,
莱丝莉和我之后要去逛街
and I just want to make sure that their outfits don't clash
我只想保证他们不会撞衫
because that would be --
因为那就会...
Ooh, let's harnize.
我们和声
**Awkward-r-r-r-d*
*尴尬
What the hell are you doing? I'm outraged!
你在干什么呢我愤怒了
And that's what people do in movies when they're outraged.
电影里的人愤怒时就会这样做
It also happens when two people who hate each other
整部电影中两个彼此讨厌的人
during the entire movie are about to make wild, passionate love,
要开始激烈的性♥爱♥之前他们也会这样
but that's more of a backhand sweep.
但那是反手扫
All right, we have company,
好吧还有别人
so I'm gonna cut my imaginary lovemaking short.
所以我要把假想做♥爱♥缩短点
How long would it go on for if I wasn't here?
如果我不在的话你要持续多长时间啊
Till everyone is satisfied.
到大家都满意为止
I can't believe you're trying to steal my sister, all right?
难以置信你想抢走我姐姐
You're an only child.
你是独生子
You don't even know what it's like to be a younger brother.
你都不知道当弟弟的感觉
You're right.
你说得对
But I do know about being a big brother.
但我知道当哥哥的感觉
The summer of my junior year,
我大三暑假的时候
I walked into a youth center
走进了青年活动中心
and was paired with a troubled kid named Raphael.
跟一个问题少年拉斐尔是搭档
He loved foosball and conversation.
他喜欢桌上足球和聊天
And I was there for him.
我陪着他
That story makes me so happy.
那故事让我好开心啊
Do you guys still talk?
你们还聊天吗
Uh, no, no. He was executed by the state.
没有他被州里处决了
Oh, my god.
天啊
Just a "No" would have been fine.
说个"没有"就行了
You know what? I finally figured out
知道吗我终于明白
why Leslie doesn't like me all of a sudden, okay?
莱丝莉为什么突然不喜欢我了
It's 'cause of you.
都是因为你
You're the most caretaker-y guy in the whole world.
你是世界上最会照顾别人的人
How am I supposed to compete with that?
我要怎么跟你竞争啊
You need to dial it down. You need to care less.
你得往回一点你得别那么在乎
Uh, care...
别那么
less?
在乎
Justin does not compute.
贾斯丁不懂
You're gonna tell Leslie that you can't take her to the party,
你要告诉莱丝莉你不能和她一起参加派对
and then I'm gonna come in and do my one nice brother thing,
然后我会趁虚而入做一件弟弟该做的贴心事
and I'm gonna take her instead.
我要带她去
then I can coast for the rest of the year.
今年剩下的日子里我就能不努力了
Everything's back to normal.
一切都回归正常了
Danny's so self-absorbed
丹尼超级自私
that if you, uh, go 20 seconds without talking directly to him,
如果你20秒没直接跟他说话
he forgets you're even in the room.
他就忘了房♥间里还有你
Are you gonna lie to Leslie?
你要骗莱丝莉吗
No, no, no.
不不
We were just funning around, okay? Yeah.
我们只是闹着好玩好吗
You know, uh, brothers and sisters --
姐弟之间嘛
how they just sometimes, like,
他们有时候会
you know, you got the brother and he's like, "Oh,"
弟弟会说...
and the sister's, "Aah!"
然后姐姐说...
You got to get out of here.
你得出去了
So --
所以...
Oh, god. I forgot you were there.
天啊我忘了你还在
Listen, I'm not gonna lie to Leslie
我不会跟莱丝莉撒谎
so that you can look like a better brother, okay?
好让你看起来是个更好的弟弟