把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E05

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:33 p.m.

Vanessa.
瓦内萨
Hi, Hugh? Yeah, it's Brett.
好啊休我是布雷特
Phone sex? Woof.
电♥话♥性♥爱♥
I can't. I'm at work.
不行啊我在上班
How did Danny seem when he left for the interview?
丹尼去面试时看起来怎么样
I'm so nervous. Me too.
我好紧张我也是
Why?
为什么
Oh, hey, Les.
莱丝
You skipped the interview?
你没去面试吗
I just decided I didn't need to go after Justin apologized.
贾斯丁道歉之后我就觉得没必要去了
I didn't apologize, per se.
我没有道歉
You said I was an amazing, inspiring person,
你说我是个超棒的鼓舞人心的人
like a male Oprah.
像是男性版奥普拉
Justin said that I didn't need a job
贾斯丁说我不需要工作
because I already had the best job in the world --
因为我已经有世界上最棒的工作了
Being me.
做我自己
Before you kill me,
你杀了我之前
you should know that I called the Detroit Weekly guy.
要知道我给了那个《底特律周报》的人打了电♥话♥
It took some bargaining, but he agreed to make up the interview here at the bar.
我跟他讨价还价了一番但他同意在酒吧里补面试
What did you offer him?
你给了他什么
Free drinks and a chance to meet
免费饮料还有结识
Danny's attractive older sister...
丹尼美貌姐姐的机会
Who would probably go out with him.
她也许会跟他约会
I'm not gonna go out with some rando.
我才不会跟陌生人约会
Well, I -- that's him over there.
那边就是他
Anything for my brother.
为了我弟让我做什么都行
But it doesn't matter. Danny's not gonna do the interview.
但是这无所谓了丹尼不会面试的
He will if he doesn't know it's happening.
他会的如果他不知道发生了什么事
You see, interviews are just an excuse to brag about yourself.
面试只是自我吹嘘的一个借口
That's literally what Danny does all the time.
丹尼一直都在这样做
You guys, help me wrap my head around this --
各位帮我理理清楚
I'm so good at so many different things.
我擅长很多事情
And let me get a look at you here.
让我看看你
I like this jacket. That's good. Thanks.
我喜欢这件外套真棒谢谢
Oh, I think you got a fuzzy in your hair.
你头发里有绒毛
Oh, really? I hate fuzzies. Get it.
真的吗我讨厌绒毛拿走
Okay.
好
There you go -- oh, it's in your ear now.
好了现在跑到耳朵里了
It always ends up in there. I got it.
总是会跑到耳朵里我拿出来了
I spent the morning looking in the mirror,
我一早上都照着镜子
lip-synching to Taylor Swift,
假唱泰勒·斯威夫特的歌♥
and yet that is the gayest thing I've seen all day.
但那是我今天见过的最基的事
Oh, actually, you know what?
实际上你知道吗
There's a guy here that's excited to meet you.
那边有个男人很想见到你
He's actually a, uh,
他实际上是
fan of "Things that suck and don't suck."
"最操蛋和不操蛋的东西"的粉丝
Rich, uh, meet Danny.
里奇这是丹尼
Great to meet you, Danny. Cool.
很高兴见到你丹尼真酷
My office loves your stuff on twitter.
我办公室的人超爱你的推特
So, what would you say is your biggest strength?
你觉得你最大的长处是什么
Well, um, even though you're a stranger,
虽然你是个陌生人
that's a really great question.
但这个问题很不错
Shelly!
小谢
Don't do this.
别这样做
I have to.
我必须
As a wise man once said, "Me so horny."
一位智者曾说过我好饥渴
Why don't you just tell Vanessa you want more?
为什么你不告诉瓦内萨你想更多呢
Look, women like Vanessa, they don't date guys like me.
瓦内萨那种女人不跟我这种男人约会
She would, if you didn't let her use you
她会的如果你不让她利用你
like a giant teddy bear you have sex with.
像是用来做♥爱♥的大泰迪熊一样
Just leave with me now
现在跟我走
and you can have more with Vanessa -- I promise.
你就可以跟瓦内萨拥有更多我保证
Yes!
好棒
Thank God I wore my glasses,
谢天谢地我戴了眼镜
because you are '80s-movie hot.
因为你像是80年代的电影那么火♥辣♥
Aah! Oh, my god!
天啊
Oh, my god!
天啊
I'm just -- ohhh!
我只是...
I just wanted you to know I think you're pretty.
我只是想告诉你我觉得你很美
You mind if I check out your resume?
你介意我看看你的简历吗
Why do you want to see my "Reh-so-may"?
你为什么想看我的见历
Hold on one second -- I'm answering questions to you,
等等我在回答你的问题
and you're Rich Greenway of the Detroit Weekly.
你是《底特律周报》的里奇·格林威
Excuse me for a second.
稍等
Hey, uh, Justin, you have a little fuzzy on your ear.
贾斯丁你的耳朵里有绒毛
Hey, can I get another beer?
能再给我一杯啤酒吗
Help yourself.
自己去倒
Very nice.
很好
Hey, man, you know what's going on my list of "Things that suck"?
你知道我"操蛋的东西"名单上有什么吗
People that trick their friends into secret interviews.
欺骗朋友参加秘密面试的人
Yeah, not sure how relatable that one is, man.
不确定这有什么联♥系♥
Don't you think this would be a cool job?
你不觉得这是一份很酷的工作吗
Yeah, of course I think it'd be a cool job.
我当然觉得这是一份很酷的工作
But I'll never get it.
但我永远也无法得到
It's better just to never want anything.
无欲无求这样更好
Look, it's -- it's hard to put yourself out there.
表现自己是很难的
This reminds me of a story.
这让我想到了一个故事
There once was a little boy --
曾经有个小男孩
It was you, wasn't it?
就是你对吧
You were the tiny, feminine boy?
你就是那个小娘炮
Mrs. Winston was casting the 8th-grade play,
温斯顿老师在给八年级的剧《音乐之声》
"The Sound of Music."
选演员
It was always my lifelong dream to play Captain Von Trapp.
扮演冯·特拉普上校是我毕生的梦想
Dreamt of being a widower with seven kids?
梦想成为带着七个孩子的鳏夫吗
I've always wanted a big family.
我一直都想要一大家子人
You know that.
你知道的
Anyway, I was scared to audition.
总之我很害怕去试演
But I did.
但我去了
And, yeah, because my voice hadn't changed,
因为我还没变声
I was cast as the youngest Von Trapp daughter.
我扮演了冯·特拉普最小的女儿
But the point is, I would have regretted that if I never tried.
但重点是如果我没试过我会后悔的
How do you think Keanu Reeves would have felt in "The Matrix"
在《黑客帝国》中如果基努·里维斯没吃M&M豆
if he never ate the m&m?
你觉得他会是什么感受
Are you saying I'm the one?
你是说我是救世主吗
But, uh, I guess we'll never know
除非你完成面试
unless you finish the interview.
我想我们永远也不会知道了
All right, get Richard back in here. Yeah.
让理查德回来
But hold on, Justin.
等等贾斯丁
Do I have any more fuzzies in my hair?
我的头发里还有绒毛吗
You never did.
你从来没有过
Hey, Shelly.
谢利
You wanted to talk?
你想谈谈吗
You know, as much as I love making our nighttime PB&Js --
虽然我晚上很喜欢做花生黄油和果酱三明治
where you're the jelly 'cause you're sweet
你是果冻因为你很可爱
and you smell like berries,
身上有浆果的味道
and I'm the peanut butter 'cause I'm nutty and chunky --
我是花生酱因为我古怪[坚果]又矮胖
It's just that
只是
I want to be more than a booty call with you,
我不想只成为你的炮♥友♥
and I'm hoping you do, too.
我希望你也是这么想的
Aww, Shelly.
谢利
That's so sweet.
真贴心
But I'm sorry.
但是很抱歉
You're just, you know, not the kind of guy that I date date.
你不是我正式约会的那种人
Oh, my god.
天啊
That is not how it went down in "Love Actually."
《真爱至上》里不是这么演的
Shelly, I'm so sorry.
谢利我非常抱歉
It's her loss, man.
这是她的损失
No, it's my loss.
不这是我的损失
Trust me -- I've seen her naked.
相信我我见过她裸体
Shelly, let me just share something with you --
谢利我跟你说件事吧