把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E12

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:37 p.m.

Hey, everyone, I have good news.
各位我有个好消息
Oh, the guy from one direction finally wrote you back?
单向乐队的某个成员终于给你回信了吗
Not yet, no.
还没有
Hey, is Harry Styles even legal?
哈利·斯泰尔难道不是童工吗
Yeah, he's 19.
他已经19岁了
Good, 'cause I would ride that kid like a jet ski.
很好我好想疯狂地"骑"一次他
Come on, what does Harry Styles have that I ain't got?
拜托哈利·斯泰尔有什么是我没有的吗
He's, uh, talented, charismatic,
他才华横溢魅力十足
and, um, moving into my own personal fantasy land,
正进入我的"意淫国度"
He is bi-curious for husky guys from his homeland.
对于他的壮汉同胞而言他是个双性恋
Anyway, last night,
总之呢昨晚
I was kind of missing Nicki so bad that I called her,
我太思念尼基了于是就给她打了个电♥话♥
and we started talking about how there's no, you know,
然后我们就谈到了酒吧里
Tv at the bar,
少了个电视
but her parents have one in the garage,
但是她父母有台闲置的放在车♥库♥里
so the next time I go to visit, I can take it and bring it here.
所以我下次去拜访的时候就可以带回来啦
Very cool, very cool. Worst phone sex ever.
很好很好史上最烂电♥话♥性♥爱♥
So, um, listen...
那个听着
Why don't you just buy a tv?
你何不干脆买♥♥个电视呢
There's a lot of stuff I'd like to get for this bar,
我想为这家酒吧添置很多东西
but I'm barely breaking even.
但我现在想维持收支平衡都很困难
You know what they call that in Detroit?
你知道在底特律这叫什么吗
Rich.
富裕
Don't tell Justin,
别告诉贾斯丁
but I actually kind of dig one direction.
但我其实还挺喜欢单向乐队的
I heard you from inside the office. I'm pumped.
我从办公室里听到你说的话了让我热血沸腾
**Baby, you light up my world like nobody else*
*宝贝没人可以像你这样照亮我的世界
**The way that you flip...*
*你甩头发的样子...
Ok, Ok, get to the hair part. get to the hair part.
好了好了跳到甩头发的部分甩头发的部分
**The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,*
*你甩头发的样子让我心神荡漾
**That's what makes you beautiful*
*那让你美丽动人
Sing that last part again.
最后那部分再唱一下
All right, now. Here we go. Come on.
好了我们走吧快点
Okay. We are going.
好吧走起
"Undateable," Starring me.
《不懂约会》我主演的
Well, we're both the stars.
我们都是主演啦
Oh, is that --
是吗
Is that you in the center with the leather jacket on?
画面中间穿皮夹克的那人是你吗
Oh, no. That's me.
不那是我
Hey, baby bird, we got to talk to you.
小小鸟我们得跟你谈谈
Um, if you could have one wish in the entire universe,
如果你可以随便许一个愿望然后成真
what would it be?
你会许什么愿
And before you answer, no, you can't wish
在你回答前我先规定你不能
to be an understudy in "The book of mormon."
许愿成为音乐剧《摩门经》的替角
I'd wish for one night with Kate Upton.
我希望能和嫩模凯特·阿普顿来个一♥夜♥情♥
Just one night, Shell?
就一晚吗小谢
After that, I wouldn't need your damn magic.
一夜调♥教♥之后我就不需要你的魔法了
I got a wand of my own.
我也有根"魔法棒"
Okay, well, I guess if I had one wish,
好吧我觉得如果我可以许一个愿的话
I'd like for Nicki's boobs to be a little smaller.
我希望尼基的胸能变小一点
I mean, it's not a sexual thing.
跟性无关啦
It's just, you know, I mean, her back hurts sometimes.
就是胸太大有时候让她的背有点疼
I just want her to be comfortable.
我只是希望她能舒服些
Obviously, my one wish would be
显然我的唯一愿望就是
that I never asked you what your one wish would be, so...
从来没问过你的唯一愿望是什么
Look, the point is is that I got all these guys together,
听着我想说的是我把大家都召集起来
and we decided to chip in to help pay your bar loan.
然后我们决定凑钱替你还掉酒吧的贷款
So meet your new investors.
来见见你的新投资人们吧
What?
什么
Guys, this is a lot of money.
各位这可是很大一笔钱啊
Are you sure?
你们确定吗
Well, you've done so much for us,
你为我们做了那么多
and we all had some money lying around, so...
我们又都有些闲钱所以...
You know, I set aside 40 bucks a week
我每周会留出40块钱
to take out potential lady friends,
用于带潜在的女性朋友出去约会
so I had about 8 grand just sitting there.
我现在已经存了8千块了
And I still had some money left over
我上次在水上公园出事故
from my water-park settlement, so...
获得的赔偿款还剩了些所以...
Turns out that, uh, drowning
事实证明在造浪池里溺水
and being pronounced clinically dead
然后被宣布临床死亡
for 2 1/2 minutes in a wave pool can be very lucrative.
两分半钟其实是很划算的
Uh, you know, I just --
说心里话我...
I always kind of felt like this was our bar,
我一直都觉得这是我们大家共同的酒吧
So, you know, it's nice to --
所以很高兴你们...
to have --
能够...
Okay. Breathe -- breathe in, Justin.
好了呼吸呼吸贾斯丁
Come on!
加油
You're either gonna start crying or pushing out a baby soon.
你要么是要哭了要么是要生孩子了
Either way, I don't want to be here, so I'm gonna get home.
不管是哪样我都不想在现场我回家了
Danny Burton, freeze.
丹尼·伯顿站住
So, the way I see it, you have two options.
在我看来你有两个选择
One, I give you a very long, passionate, intense hug.
一我深情地紧紧地长时间地拥抱你一下
Or, two, you have to listen to me while I tell you how I feel.
二你必须听完我对你倾诉我的感觉
All right, pour your heart out, baby bird.
好吧尽情表露真心吧小小鸟
But I got to tell you, if it get too touchy-feely,
但我必须先提醒你如果你搞得太动情
I'm gonna cut you off right there.
我会直接打断你的
You see, friendship --
要知道友情...
Okay, that's enough.
行了够了
you brought this on yourself.
你这可是自找的
I'm sorry, but this feels more like a threesome.
不好意思我觉得得来个3P才像话
It feels good to help Justin.
能帮助贾斯丁让我感觉很好
We should celebrate, Les.
我们该庆祝一下莱丝
Maybe dinner and a movie?
不如一起去吃个饭看场电影吧
You can make me dinner.
你可以把我当晚餐吃掉
Then we get naked and make a movie.
然后我们脱♥光♥光拍一部激♥情♥小♥电♥影♥
Let's do this.
来吧
You, me in the handicapped stall right now.
你我立刻进入洗手间残疾人蹲位
R-really?
真的吗
No.
假的
But I bet you can't follow me when I walk away.
但我敢打赌我走开时你硬的站不起来
Hey, guys, can I ask you two a hypothetical question?
二位我能问你俩一个假设性的问题吗
Say Shelly and I get invited to a party
假设谢利和我受邀去参加一个派对
and, uh, we have this other friend...
我们还有另外一个朋友
Let's call him "Lursky."
姑且就叫他"卢斯科"吧
...who tends to scare away other single people.
他似乎容易吓走其他单身的人
Can we just not invite him to the party?
我们能不邀请他去那个派对吗
That's like lying.
那就是欺骗
You can't lie to Burski. He's your friend.
你们不能欺骗伯斯科他是你们的朋友
You lie to him all the time.
你一直骗他啊
Yeah, but in my defense,
是没错但我得辩解一下
I don't really consider him a friend.
我并没有把他当我的朋友
You know he means well.
你们知道他是好意
Yeah, but "Means well"
是啊但是这"好意"
is getting in the way of me crushing ass.
阻碍我泡大美妞了
Hey, look, I get it, you know?
好吧我懂的
It's like he's the exact opposite of me.
他是个跟我几乎完全相反的人
He went to college and doesn't move his mouth when he reads?
他上过大学并且在看书时不会动嘴吗
She told me she was gonna start doing this.
她跟我说了她要开始攻击你
It's called the "Danny drive-by."
叫做"丹尼躺枪复仇法"
She was pissed when you broke her heart,
你伤了她的心让她满腔怒火
So now she gets to slam you, and you never get the last word.
她可以对你开火你永远没有获胜的机会
All right, well, that's not gonna accomplish anything.
好吧那也不可能有什么结果的
Uh, exactly what Danny's parents said about him.
丹尼的父母就是这么评价他的一事无成
Oh, come on!
不是吧你
Thanks again, guys.
再次感谢大家
Not only did I pay off my loan,
我不仅还清了贷款
but the new TV I ordered for you is going right there.
并且我替你们订购的新电视就要挂在那里啦
Well, that's great, baby bird,
很好小小鸟
'cause we are all focused on making this bar
因为我们都下定决心要让这家酒吧
as awesome as it can possibly be.
变得尽可能的令人赞不绝口