把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E05

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:33 p.m.

I almost always apologize right after sex.
我总是做完之后立刻道歉
Not sure why I shared that.
我也不知道为什么要告诉你们
That could have stayed in the journal.
我本该让它留在日记里的
How would that apology go?
你会怎么道歉
Okay, fine, example --
好吧比如
Like, if I know I'm not gonna last long,
比如我知道我无法"持久"
I'd feel bad, so I want to leave her with a show.
我会比较愧疚所以我会留给她一场华丽的表演
Like, I'll sing or something.
比如我会唱歌♥什么的
Like... No, no, no, no, no.
比如不不不不要
Sorry.
抱歉
I mean, I do like her.
我挺喜欢她的
I'm hoping it'll turn into something more.
我希望能有更深入的发展
Booty calls almost never turn into real relationships.
炮♥友♥关系基本上是不可能发展成正式恋情的
If you really want to date this girl,
如果你真想跟那个女孩发展正式的关系
you can't go over there every time she calls.
你就不能一接到她电♥话♥就过去
But I can help you.
但我可以帮你
I'll be your booty-call sponsor!
我来当你的约炮互助对象
I appreciate the fact that you want to help and everything.
我很感激你想帮忙
I feel like there's a big "But."
我感觉你要说个但是
Oh, there is.
是的
And it's attached to a woman named Vanessa.
那跟叫瓦内萨的女人有关
Ah. Hey, man.
好啊
You think I'm too scared to take the job, huh?
你觉得我太害怕了不敢从事工作是吗
Well, guess what -- I'm gonna make you eat your words.
猜猜怎么我会让你收回那句话
I got Danny that interview today.
我帮丹尼搞定了面试名额
And she's been helping me work on my...
她在帮我改
How do you pronounce it?
怎么读来着
"Ri-so-may"?
见里吗
"Rehsumay." "Raysomay."
简历见历
"Rehsumay." "Ray raysomay."
简历见历
"Rehsumay." "Raysomay."
简历见历
"Rehsumay." "Rehsumay."
简历简历
Bet you didn't know I had over 100 special skills.
你肯定不知道我有一百多种特殊技能
I can speak in various different languages.
我能说多种语言
Hello.
你好
Hello.
你好
Well, first off, there's no such thing
首先没有"和朋友的微软文字"
as "Microsoft words with friends."
这码子事
And you did not read "Of Mice and Men."
你也没读过《人鼠之间》
Of course I did, dude.
我当然读过
Oh, yeah? Then wh-what was your favorite part?
是吗那你最喜欢的是哪个部分
When...all of the mice
所有老鼠
band together to fight the men.
团结起来和人类斗争
Hey, man, you know, I really didn't want to say it
我真的不想在酒吧
over at the bar, but you really hurt my feelings.
说这事但你真的伤害了我
You know, I-I went too far. I need to apologize.
我太过分了我得道歉
No! No, you can't.
不行
Okay, Danny cares what you think.
丹尼在乎你的想法
That's a power that only one other person has,
除了你只有另外一个人才有这种特权
but I can't get Vin Diesel to come here.
但我没法让范·迪塞尔过来
But if you apologize, he's gonna blow this off
但如果你道歉的话他会像往常一样
like he always does, okay?
回避的好吗
You have to give him tough love.
你必须给他严厉的爱
Well, I'm not a tough-love guy.
我不擅长给别人严厉的爱
I'm a love-love guy.
我是特别有爱的人
If you start acting nice and ruin this,
如果你对他好声好气的毁了这一切
I will kill you.
我会杀了你
Yeah, Danny, I g--
丹尼我得...
Okay, tough love or night-night. Your call.
要么是严厉的爱要么是拜拜你来选
You know I could get out of this if I wanted to.
你知道如果我想的话是可以挣脱的吧
Go for it.
尽管来试吧
Look at you in your "Transporter" suit.
瞧瞧你穿着"非常人贩"西装的样子
All right, so for this interview,
进行面试时
he's just gonna ask me, like, a bunch of questions?
他就会问我一些问题吗
What if he asks me how I get my hair this good
如果他问我发型为什么这么帅怎么办
and I can't tell him, 'cause it's a secret?
我不能告诉他这是个秘密
Oh, you know what?
知道吗
I don't think I should go through with this.
我觉得我不该去面试
Where the hell is my tough love?
严厉的爱呢
Don't you see what's happening?
你没看到这是怎么回事吗
He's getting scared. He's looking for a way out.
他害怕了想脱身
Look, I know your biggest flaw is how desperate you are
我知道你最大的缺点就是极度想要
to have everyone like you.
大家都喜欢你
That is not true.
不是这样的
It is, and I don't like that about you.
就是我不喜欢你的这一点
What can I do to change that?
我能做什么来改变呢
Be mean, okay?
刻薄点好吗
If you love Danny, be the meanest you've ever been.
如果你爱丹尼那就拿出自己最刻薄的一面
H-- uh, oops. Ohh.
哎呀
How do you expect to hold a job?
你怎么能拿到工作啊
You can't even hold a coffee mug.
你连咖啡杯都端不稳
All right, you know what?
你知道吗
I'm gonna get this job, nerd.
我要得到这份工作呆瓜
All right, I got to go to work.
好吧我得上班去了
Danny, you're gonna kill it.
丹尼你会成功的
Yeah, I should probably head out, too.
我也该出去了
Really?
真的吗
You're not gonna say anything supportive
你最好的朋友走之前
to your best friend before he leaves?
你都不打算说些鼓励的话吗
I'll tell you something I told a mall santa once
我跟你说说我曾经告诉过商场的圣诞老人的话吧
when I turned 16
那时候我满了十六岁
and didn't get a car for Christmas --
圣诞礼物没有收到车
I don't believe in you anymore.
我不再相信你了
You're becoming a mean person,
你变得很刻薄了
and I don't like that about you.
我不喜欢你这样
Danny, wait.
丹尼等等
Yes?
怎么了
Shelly, did you and Vanessa talk last night?
谢利你和瓦内萨昨晚聊了吗
We did.
聊了
So, what did she say?
她说了什么
Oh, she said, "Harder," "Faster,"
她说用力一点快点
"Okay, not that fast,"
别这么快
"Now go again,"
再来一次
"Nice job,"
真棒
"Good-bye."
再见
I mean, it's hard to say no to a booty call.
很难拒绝约炮啊
I'd like to see you try.
我想看你试试
Bring it on.
来吧
Okay.
好啊
Hi, beautiful.
好啊美女
It's Greg.
我是格雷格
What do you want?
你想怎么样
Oh, I think you know what I want.
我觉得你知道我想怎么样
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
不可能
Oh, you have caller I.D.
你看到了来电号♥码
If you're not interested, why'd you answer?
如果你不感兴趣为什么要接电♥话♥
Um...I don't know.
我不知道
Look, I just started "Love Actually,"
我刚开始看《真爱至上》
and I really don't want to watch it alone.
我真的不想自己一个人看
That's my favorite movie.
那是我最喜欢的电影
Oh, Hugh Grant just came on the screen.
休·格兰特刚出镜了
Uh, hi. Hello, Candace.
你好坎迪斯
Yeah, it's me -- Hugh Grant.
是我休·格兰特
Yes, yes, the Benedict Cumberbatch of the '90s.
是的 90年代的本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇
You, uh -- you can't resist a charming British prime minister
你无法抗拒一个深深地爱上了
who's desperately in love with his secretary, can you?
他的秘书的迷人英国首相对吧
She just thinks she's ever so chubby.
她觉得自己好胖
Chubby -- no, but she's not chubby.
胖不她不胖
She's just British curvy, like Adele.
她只是有英国人的曲线美像是阿黛尔
Shel-- oh, no.
小谢不