把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E04

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:32 p.m.

Good morning, everyone.
大家早上好啊
Why is she in pajamas?
她怎么穿着睡衣啊
I'm letting Candace stay upstairs for a couple days
我允许坎迪斯在楼上住几天
'cause of what's going on in her apartment building.
因为她自己的公♥寓♥里现在不能住人
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
Good, 'cause if it was pajama day
很好因为如果今天是睡衣日
And nobody told me, I'd be pissed.
但却没人告诉我我会气炸的
Justin, one more thing.
贾斯丁还有件事
Um, I found something out by the dumpster,
我在外面的垃圾桶边发现一个东西
And I wanted to know if I could keep it.
不知道能不能让我留下
I'm just the cutest little guy that's ever lived!
我是这世上有史以来最萌的东西啦
Look, that's obviously not his voice.
那显然不是它的声音嘛
Uh, choosing a pretend dog voice for him is very important
为它选择一个模仿的"狗声"是非常重要的
because that's gonna be his pretend dog voice forever.
因为那会追随它一辈子
Yeah, I think he's got a bit of the Brando about him.
是啊我觉得它有点马龙·白兰度的风格
You want me to poop outside?
你想让我出去拉屎吗
That, I cannot do.
抱歉我做不到
He's obviously got a little Shepherd in him,
它显然有牧羊犬的血统
So he is German.
所以它是德国狗
Hello, everybody.
哈罗大家好
Don't be fooled by my floppy ears and adorable snout.
可别被我松垂的大耳朵和可爱的大鼻子给骗了哦
Even though I appear friendly,
尽管我看上去很友好
I have already poisoned all of you.
我已经给你们都下毒了
You probably want ze antidote.
你们可能想要解药吧
But guess what -- you don't get it
但猜怎么着你们别想得到
until I get a new collar and some snausages.
除非我能有个新项圈和一些香肠
Fun's over.
娱乐时间结束
I can't have a dog living at the bar.
我不能允许酒吧里养狗
I understand.
我理解
Hey, don't give up that easy.
别这么轻易就放弃啊
Here, just put the dog down and then walk away.
来把狗放下你走开
Okay, I know what you're trying to do,
好吧我知道你的伎俩
And it's not gonna work.
那是不可能成功的
I'm not some kind of... guy who's...
我不是那种心软...
Wh-- what are you looking at? I don't...
你看什么看啊我又没...
Well, you can't stay here. I --
你不能留在这里的我...
Why don't you tell him what you named him?
不如你把它的名字告诉他吧
His name is Mo.
它叫小汽
For the motor city.
指代"汽车城"
It's perfect.
真好啊
I mean, you're like a-a metaphor for Detroit. You're...
你像是代表着底特律这个城市你...
You're a survivor. I...
你是个命大的我...
Why don't you just say it?
不如你直接说出来算了
All right, the dog can stay.
好吧狗狗可以留下来
But, Candace, get him a dog bed.
但是坎迪斯去给它准备张狗床
He's not an animal.
它可不是动物
And get him snausages!
快去给它拿香肠
That's right, America. "Undateable" Has a dog.
没错美国人♥民♥ 《不懂约会》要加入一条狗了
Yeah, just when you thought we couldn't get any cuter.
是啊谁说我们萌得不能更萌了
You got your check for half of the rent?
你准备好你那一半租金的支票了吗
You know, I could mail these sometimes.
有时我可以自己寄过去的
Oh, no. Mailing checks is my thing.
不寄支票是我的份内活
I take care of the rent checks and what we watch on tv,
我负责搞定租金支票和选择电视节目
And you do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping,
你负责做饭打扫洗衣购物
and nightly turndown service.
以及每夜的铺床服务
What is our horrible neighbor Kevin doing here?
我们的恶邻居凯文到这儿来干什么
Sorry. Hair's still a little wet.
不好意思我的头发还有点湿
I'm gonna quote my favorite John Mayer song,
我打算引用我最爱的一首约翰·梅尔的歌♥的歌♥词
but I'm going to change one word --
但我打算改动一个词
Your body's not a wonderland.
你的身体[不是]一个仙境
Danny, they shut off his water and power,
丹尼他家里的水电都被停了
so I told him
所以我跟他说
that he could use ours while you're at work.
他可以趁你去上班时来我们这儿用
You got to stop letting everybody take advantage of you, okay?
你不能再让大家都占你的便宜了好吗
Especially this loser.
尤其是这个窝囊废
You know, I've been called a lot of stuff --
我被骂过各种难听的
Disgraced doctor...
丢脸的医生
Kevin...
凯文
..."not the father" By Maury Povich...
被莫里·波维奇指出"不是孩子生父"
..."the father" By Maury Povich.
也被他说过"是孩子生父"
But I have never, ever been called a loser.
但我从没被人骂过是窝囊废
I'll just get out of here, make everybody happy.
我还是走吧大家都开心了吧
Hey, man, aren't you gonna get your stuff?
老兄你不打算带上你的东西吗
That's how he came over.
他就是穿成这样过来的
It is freezing out here.
外面真的好冷啊
You know what, just -- just borrow my coat.
算了我把外套先借给你吧
Well, thank you very much.
非常感谢
You're a good person, Justin.
你是个好人贾斯丁
Danny.
丹尼
Okay, I took Mo to the dog shelter
我把小汽带去了狗狗收♥容♥所♥
to make sure that he didn't belong to anyone,
以确保它确实不是谁家走失的狗狗
and he didn't, but they said that I couldn't adopt him
它的确没有主人但他们说我收养它的前提是
until I had an interview.
我得接受一个面试
And, I mean, look at these questions.
瞧瞧这些问题啊
"Do you have a yard?"
"你家里有院子吗"
Who am I -- Rihanna?
当我是蕾哈娜吗
They're never gonna let me adopt him.
他们永远不会让我领养它的
Just do what I do -- lie.
学学我吧撒谎
When I was a kid, people used to lie to me all the time,
我小时候大家经常对我撒谎
And I just promised myself that when I grew up,
我对自己保证过等我长大了
I wouldn't do that to anyone.
我一定不会对任何人撒谎
I don't even know how to lie.
我都不知道该怎么撒谎
Well, it sounds like you need a teacher.
听上去你需要个老师给你开开窍啊
It's a pity the greatest liar in the world lives in London.
真遗憾全世界最伟大的谎言大♥师♥住在伦敦
Oh, really?
是吗
No. That was a lie, Candace.
不是那是个谎言坎迪斯
He's standing right in front of you.
他此刻就站在你面前
Also a lie.
这也是谎言
I'm actually the second-greatest liar in the world.
其实我是全世界第二大的谎言大♥师♥
The first is dead.
第一伟大的已死
A lie. He's not dead. He's in prison -- for lying.
这是谎言他没死他因为撒谎去蹲大牢了
Another lie.
那又是个谎言
Oh, he actually lives next door to my mum in London.
他其实住在我妈家隔壁就在伦敦
Lies. I-I-I-I'm not even British.
又是谎言我甚至都不是英国人
I was born and raised on a farm in Ohio.
我出生并成长于俄亥俄州的一个农场
Get a notebook, start writing this down
去拿个本子来把这些都记下来
because your training's about to start.
因为你的训练马上就开始了
Lie! It's already begun!
谎言其实已经开始了
British people can lie?
英国人也会撒谎吗
Oh, man. I can't believe how cold it is.
天啊真不敢相信竟然这么冷
Hey, can you feel your arms?
嘿你的手臂还有知觉吗
I can't believe you let Kevin take your coat, man.
真不敢相信你竟然让凯文拿走了你的外套
Well, maybe I just wanted to wear the vest.
或许我只是想穿这件马甲呢
Why?
为什么
Is there a Marty Mcfly look-alike contest somewhere?
是要比赛谁打扮得最像马蒂·麦克弗莱吗
You got to stop letting people take advantage of you, okay?
你不能再让别人占你便宜了好吗
Everyone doesn't take advantage of me.
没有人占我便宜啊
Candace is currently living in your bar.
坎迪斯现在就住在你的酒吧里呢
And what about Shelly?
谢利的情况又怎么说
He takes all the senior citizens
他把他工作的养老院里的
at the retirement home that he works at
老人都带过来
and they come in here, and they don't pay for a thing.
那些人过来享乐一毛钱都不付
Well, excuse me for caring about old folks
关爱老人有什么错
whose families have abandoned them.
毕竟他们的家人都抛弃他们了
They have?
是吗
Now, don't you listen to him, Mrs. Bosma.
别听他胡说波斯玛太太
Your daughter loves you very much.
你女儿可是非常爱你的
At least go get your coat back, okay?
至少去把你的外套拿回来好吗
Okay.
好吧
Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.
丹尼尔丹尼尔丹尼尔