把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E01

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:25 p.m.

What's the giant emergency?
有什么急事儿
Shannon's moving out.
沙农要搬走了
Don't do this, shannon. What we have is real.
别这样沙农我们之间的感情是真的
Don't do this to us.
别这样对我们
I'm getting married.
我要结婚了
Yeah, but what about our motorcycle club -- Dos Lobos?
那我们的摩托车俱乐部呢双狼俱乐部
See you around, Danny.
回头见丹尼
All right, but I swear...
好吧但我发誓
...If you walk out that door, I will not take you ba--
如果你走出那扇门我不会让你回...
Okay, but if you start that car,
好吧但如果你发动汽车
then I will not take you ba--
我不会让你回...
Okay, but if you do a cute honk
好吧但如果你按了一下喇叭
and then reverse out of the driveway, I will --
然后倒出车道我...
Can't you just get one of your other
你就不能让另一个
adorable man-child friends to move in?
可爱的男孩朋友搬来住吗
But all my friends are buried...
但我的朋友们都被埋葬了
Married. I-I-I said "Buried." I meant "Married."
结婚了我说的"被埋葬"是指"结婚"
Oh, you met someone.
你跟人约会过啦
She seems smart. Is she a doctor?
她好像很聪明是医生吗
She made me feel better.
她让我感觉更好
Danny, I don't want to sound like mom,
丹尼我不想像妈妈一样说教
but you got to find a purpose -- something greater
但你得找到一个目标比满足你
than just satisfying your own shallow desires.
肤浅欲望更重要的事
Oh, you're serious?
你说真的吗
This was acceptable in your 20s,
你20来岁时这样还情有可原
but you are pushing 30, and it's getting creepy.
但你都快30了这样很诡异
And creepy sticks. It's like herpes. It's for life.
诡异会一直存在就像疱疹一样留一辈子
All right, look, no one wants to be the 40-year-old guy
听着没人想做单独去酒吧的
who goes to the bar alone,
40岁男人
and you don't have to be that, Danny.
你没必要那样丹尼
You have so much potential.
你潜力无限
You're absolutely sure that herpes is for life?
你确定疱疹是一辈子的吗
I'm out of here like a herd of turtles.
我要慢吞吞地离开这里
Les, I know that you're just trying to help,
莱丝我知道你只是想帮忙
but, like, I'm happy.
但是我很快乐啊
I mean, you see this?
你看见了吗
This is on my face, like, all day.
我脸上一直带着笑容
I'll try to get rid of it for a second. Watch.
我想摆脱它一秒钟瞧瞧
Yeah, can't do it, man.
是啊做不到
Well, good luck with the roommate hunt.
祝你顺利找到室友
Shannon gave me hookups to a guy who needs a room.
沙农告诉我了一个要租♥房♥♥的人的联♥系♥方式
He's, uh -- he's a cool dude.
他是个很酷的男人
He owns a bar.
是酒吧老板
Hey, are you gonna see her again?
你要再和她见面吗
No. All right, I'm keeping it.
不要了好吧我闷下了
**That's all they really wa-a-a-a-nt*
*那就是他们真正想要的
**Some fu-u-u-u-u-n*
*找点乐子
**Don't ya love me, baby*
*你不爱我吗宝贝
**Well, o g-girls*
*姑娘们
**They want to have fu-u-n*
*他们想找点乐子
**Ohh, girls*
*姑娘们
What the hell?
搞毛啊
You must be Danny.
你一定是丹尼
Killer pipes, man.
你唱得真好
Yeah, I went to choral camp every summer as a kid,
我小时候每年夏天都参加合唱夏令营
and I was the first male Annie.
我是歌♥剧《安妮》中的第一个男性安妮
No big deal. I just cruised down on my bike.
没啥大事我骑车过来了
You ride? Did you see my bike out front?
你骑车吗你看见外面我的自行车了吗
Oh, no way. That's your bike out there?
不会吧那是你的自行车啊
Wow, that bike's a major panty-dropper.
那自行车真是让人♥大♥开眼界
I can't wait to get on the road with you.
我等不及要和你一起上路了
Dos lobos.
双狼俱乐部啊
Vamonos.
走吧
Burrito. I don't know Spanish.
玉米煎饼我不懂西语
You know what? That's a little awkward.
知道吗这有些尴尬
Um, I wasn't planning on seeing your penis on the first day.
初次见面我没打算见你的小♥弟♥弟♥
What do you think?
你觉得怎么样
I don't know why I said that. No, it's cool.
我不知道我为啥这么说没关系
I get caught up in the moment.
我被当场抓住了
All right, now. Here we go. Come on.
好了我们走吧快点
Okay. We are going.
好吧我们走
The end.
剧终
No, no, this is the beginning, dude.
不不刚开始呢哥们
Hey, so what's this bar called, anyway?
这酒吧叫什么名字
Black eyes.
黑眼
Black guys?
黑人吗
No, black eyes.
不是黑眼
Like, if you get in a fight, there might be a few black eyes.
如果你去打架可能有人会被打成乌青[黑]眼
Uh, well, if you get into a fight,
如果你去打架
you better hope that there aren't a few black guys.
最好希望那里没黑人
Justin, come here.
贾斯丁过来
Is the guy you named the bar after?
你的酒吧就是照他来取名的吗
Bro, Shell can't even get his name out around girls now.
哥们小谢在姑娘面前甚至说不出自己的名字
A girl in my piano class asked me my name,
我钢琴课上的一个姑娘问我名字
and all I could get out was, "Shh."
我能说出来的只有"嘘"
It's a bummer 'cause I'm actually pretty smooth
真令人失望因为我跟陌生男人
when it comes to male strangers.
还聊得挺来的
Go on, stud muffin. Try me.
来啊大帅哥试试
I'm happy to help. What's your name, man?
我很乐意帮忙你叫什么名字
Shelly.
谢利
See? Easy-peasy.
瞧小菜一碟
You're so lucky you're gay.
你是基佬这真走运
Whenever you want to hook up with a dude,
每次你想勾搭男人时
you just go up, and you pull on his noodle
就直接上去像拉门铃链一样
like a doorbell chain.
拉他的面条
Brett just came out a few weeks ago,
布雷特几周前出柜了
and I am just so proud of you, sweetie,
我真为你感到骄傲亲爱的
but if you don't get off your butt
但你如果现在不站起来
and start working right now, I'm gonna kick it.
开始工作的话老娘就要踢你的屁♥股♥
Okay.
好
So, uh, do you mind if I get a drink, too?
你介意我也点一杯酒吗
Don't bother. I know lots of guys like you.
别费心思了我认识很多像你这样的人
Are they all thirsty?
他们都很渴吗
No, they're like the cocky player type.
不他们很自大
I always end up with those guys.
我总是和那些人在一起
I mean, I wish I could fall for a classy guy.
真希望我能倾心一个绅士
Like what? Like a British dude?
像是英国人吗
Like a guy like this?
像是这种口音的人吗
Like a dude that just comes up to you
像是向你走来
and makes you feel good in your pants region?
然后让你下面感觉很好的人吗
Is that what it is?
是这样吗
Maybe you and me can go to the library
也许我俩可以去图书馆
and check out a bunch of books.
看几本书
Oh, fellas, it is on.
伙计们真是激♥情♥四射
Yeah, I can see her uterus glowing
是啊我能看见她的子♥宫♥像外星人手指一样
like E.T.'s finger.
发着光
All right, stop it. Okay? You're adults.
好了别这样好吗你们不是小孩了
So, what, he just does a bad British accent,
怎么他操着一口很烂的英国口音
and she likes that?
她就喜欢那样吗
Whatever. I don't care.
随便啦我无所谓
Is she kissing his neck?
她在亲他的脖子吗
Seems like you do care.
看来你的确在乎
Welcome to the Dan cave.
欢迎来到丹之洞穴
Keys are right there. Thanks.
钥匙就在那里谢谢
Hey, so I saw you talking to Nicki at the bar.
我看见你在酒吧跟尼基聊天
You should know that -- that me and her are kind of like...
你要知道我跟她是...
Soft-shoe tap partners?
软底鞋踢踏舞开♥发♥伙伴吗
We're not, like, together.
我们没在一起
You know, I'm still kind of waiting to make my move.
我还在等着表白
How long you been waiting?
你等了多久了