把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S02E11

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:36 p.m.

Help.
救命
It's 4 in the morning, what is up with that lights?
现在是凌晨四点怎么开灯了
I know, I was right in the middle of a dream
就是啊我还在做梦呢
where every women on earth wants to have sex with me.
梦见地球上的每个女人都想和我滚床单
And yeah, I know, I was totally aware
是的我很清楚
that I dream how my life actually is,
我做的梦和我现实的生活一样
but that light woke me up.
但那盏灯把我弄醒了
Yeah, well, I don't know what's weirder --
我不知道什么更诡异
You know, that light or... You without your shirt on.
那盏灯还是你没穿上衣
Seriously, you are pale.
说真的你好白
It's like somebody sprinkled
好像是有人
a bunch of chest hair on a glass of milk.
在一杯牛奶上撒了一些胸毛
Aw, baby bird, you know, a whole bunch of things
小小鸟你知道当你成为男人时
happen to your body when you become a man.
你的身体会有很多变化
You know, that's right around a corner for you.
你马上就要长大成人了
Pretty soon, you'll be able to take a shower
很快你就可以不♥穿♥内♥裤♥
without wearing any underpants.
洗澡了
Why are we taking shots at each other?
我们为什么要攻击对方
You see what our neighbor's doing to us
你看见我们的邻居开着灯
With his stupid light? I know.
吵着我们睡觉了吗我知道
We should really go take care of this, Vin Diesel style.
我们该以范·迪塞尔的方式处理这事
Why are you so obsessed with Vin Diesel?
你为什么对范·迪塞尔这么沉迷
I don't know.
我不知道
Maybe it's because he's got huge muscles
也许是因为他是肌肉猛♥男♥
and always takes care of his business --
而且总是能快速激♥情♥地[《速度与激♥情♥》]
Fast and furious.
处理好事情
Come on, man.
走吧
Let's go drag our neighbor out of bed.
我们去把邻居从床上拽起来
I need you angry.
我需要你表现得愤怒
No, I can't be angry, okay?
我没法表现得愤怒好吗
I'm too exhausted. I'm too exhausted.
我太累了太累了
Okay, good idea. You rest.
好主意你休息
You take it easy, and you just go to bed.
你淡定你睡觉
You dream about being muscly
你做梦想着自己变成肌肉猛♥男♥
and finally one day being able to please a girl, okay?
终于有一天能取悦女孩好吗
Come on, take it easy. Go to bed.
来吧别紧张睡觉吧
You angry now?
你现在愤怒了吗
Yeah, I'm super pissed! Let's go.
是啊我超级恼火走吧
Okay.
好
All right, now. Here we go. Come on.
行了我们走吧快点
Okay, we are going.
好吧我们走
"Undateable," starring Vin Diesel.
《不懂约会》范·迪塞尔主演
That is not true.
胡扯
He could show up.
他可能会出现
You guys weren't kidding.
你们没开玩笑
My light is super bright.
我的灯超级亮
Thanks for inviting me over to see it.
谢谢你们邀请我过来看
I appreciate it.
谢谢
Probably could have waited till morning.
你们该等早上再叫我的
Well, unfortunately, we have no concept of time
不幸的是我们没有时间观念了
'cause it feels like
因为我们感觉就像
we're living on the surface of the sun.
住在太阳表面一样
You got to admit -- that's a pretty powerful light.
你得承认灯光真的很强烈
Yeah, I will admit it.
我会承认的
That's the most powerful light there is.
那是最强烈的灯光
It's the Steven Seagal of lights.
是灯光版的史蒂文·西格尔[美国动作演员]
Uh, I mean, if it's the most powerful light,
如果那是最强烈的灯光
then it's the Vin Diesel of lights, okay?
那就是灯光版的范·迪塞尔好吗
Vin Diesel's way more powerful than Steven Seagal.
范·迪塞尔比史蒂文·西格尔强壮多了
Whatever. Hey, bro.
随便啦哥们
This is disappointing because we're neighbors,
这真是令人扫兴因为我们是邻居
and you're obviously an extremely dumb person.
你显然是个超级大蠢货
That's cool. You got that on remote?
真酷你能用遥控器控制吗
Yeah, it's What is that? What are you d
是啊那是什么你在...
Give me back my clicker. No, I won't.
把我的遥控器还我不
Give me back my clicker. No, I won't give it back.
把我的遥控器还我我不给
Give me back my clicker. No, absolutely not.
把我的遥控器还我绝对不给
What's this? What's this? What the heck is that?
这是什么这是什么那是什么
Give me that. Damn it!
还我该死
Give me that. No. No!
给我不不
Give me my -- come on. Give me that.
还我快还我
Give me my clicker! Give me my clicker!
还我遥控器还我遥控器
Put it down! Stop it!
放下来住手
We haven't even introduced ourselves, all right?
我们还没有自我介绍呢对吧
I-I'm -- I'm Justin, and this is Danny.
我是贾斯丁这是丹尼
I'm Kevin. My friends call me "Skat."
我是凯文朋友们叫我"斯卡特"
It's a free-form of jazz.
是一种自♥由♥形态的爵士
I know exactly what you mean.
我知道你是什么意思
Hey, man, what are you doing?
哥们你在干什么啊
What are you doing, dude?
你到底在干什么
I'm making small talk.
我在闲聊啊
Well, if your small talk is anything like your foreplay,
如果你的闲聊和你的前戏一样
then we'll both be here for hours,
那我们就会待在这里几小时时间
and you'll spend way too much time on his boobs.
你会在他的胸部花太长时间
Are you guys a married couple?
你俩结婚了吗
Excuse me?
你说什么
Yeah, I know a Bert-and-Ernie situation when I see one.
我能认得出基佬
Which one of you is the wife?
你俩谁是老婆
You know what?
知道吗
I'm not gonna answer that question
我不要回答那个问题
'cause I think it might hurt my wife's feelings.
因为我觉得这会伤了我老婆的心
Look.
听着
I need the light, okay?
我得打开灯
Let's just say I'm a small-business owner
这样说吧我是个小企业主
who grows and sells certain types of plants
种植并贩卖♥♥某种植物
that attract a certain type of customer
吸引某种顾客
that I don't want sneaking up on me.
我不想让他们偷偷摸进来
Oh, my god, Danny.
天啊丹尼
I think he's a reefer salesman.
我觉得他是卖♥♥大♥麻♥的
All right, man, look. Just take it down, all right?
好吧哥们把灯调弱一点行吗
We can't sleep.
我们睡不着
Why didn't you just say you couldn't sleep?
你们怎么不早说呢
Look, here's what I'm gonna do --
我打算这样做
I'm gonna run home.
我要跑回家
I'm gonna get my Moleskine notebook.
我要去拿Moleskine笔记本
It's where I keep a list of all the things
我在上面写了一系列
that I do not give a crap about.
我不在乎的事情
All right?
好吗
Light stays on. Enjoy your night.
灯要开着祝你们今晚愉快
Or is it daytime? I can't even tell right now.
或者说现在是白天我都分辨不出了
More over.
往右边一点
So, this new neighbor who's torturing you guys --
这个折磨你们的新邻居
Is he cute?
他长得帅吗
Les, he's a drug dealer.
莱丝他是毒贩
All I'm hearing is he's got a job.
我听见的是他有份工作
Here you go, sweetie.
给亲爱的
Uh, sorry, Sabrina, but is it possible
抱歉塞布丽娜但我的啤酒
to get a little less foam in my beer?
可不可以少点泡沫呢
I don't know. Do you think it would be possible
我不知道你觉得我可不可能
for me to go back in time and tell myself not to date you?
穿越回过去然后告诉我自己不跟你约会呢
I was totally falling for you, and you broke my heart, Danny.
我当时爱上了你而你伤了我的心丹尼
O-okay. You know what?
好吧知道吗
Never mind. The foam's okay.
无所谓了泡沫也没关系
Wow. That is a woman scorned.
真是个幽怨女
Maybe it's time we, uh, killed her with kindness.
也许我们该温柔地杀了她
When I was 9, I killed my guinea pig with kindness.
我九岁时温柔地杀死了我的豚鼠
One too many hugs.
抱得太多了
Well, I wonder whose fault this is.
我想知道这是谁的错
Maybe if somebody -- Justin --
如果某人贾斯丁
didn't, uh, hire my ex-girlfriend
没有雇佣我的前女友