辛普森一家

The Simpsons S29E14

Part 2 Feb. 2, 2020, 11:18 a.m.

那实在太艰难了法官大人
That must be really tough, Judge.
我自己养了一只海龟太可怕了
I raised a turtle by myself. Pure hell.
苗浩斯说他会帮忙可他就这么走了
Milhouse said he'd help, and he just walked away.
让我看看你的档案孩子
Let me look at your file, son.
法官阁下我可以帮忙节约您的时间
Your Honor, I can save you some time.
我都去过普通的州立的和最流行少管所
I've done it all: juvie, state juvie, groovy juvie,
蒙台梭利监狱里里外外的界限都碰过了
the Montessori prison, Outward and Inward Bound.
所以你来到底是要干掉我还是放掉我
So you're down to fry me or free me.
我能说什么呢我是小魔鬼
What can I say? I'm a widdle dickens.
法庭玉米煎饼
巴仔根据古老的司法原则
Well, Bart, based on the ancient judicial principle
"孩子就是孩子嘛"
"Boys will be boys..."
-我将宣布缓刑... -不
- I'm going to hand down a suspended... - No!
-马姬让富人帮我们主持次公道吧 -不
- Marge, for once, let us get rich people justice. - No.
法官大人我爱我的儿子但他真有问题
Judge, I love my son, but he's got a real problem.
-他得学会做事要承担后果 -什么
- He needs to learn the meaning of consequences. - Huh?
巴仔被判处有期徒刑28天
Bart, I sentence you to 28 days
服刑地点为明日新视野康复中心
at the Tomorrow's New Horizons Addiction Rehab Center
和坏事时光农场
and General Rotten Time Ranch.
妈妈你怎么能这样对我
Mom, how could you do that to me?
-对啊妈妈 -因为我爱你巴仔
- Yeah, Mom. - Because I love you, Bart.
对一个母亲最难的事情就是说出
And a mother's toughest job is saying
"帮帮我我孩子有问题"
"Help me. My kid has a problem."
我没问题我只求一件事
I do not! All I ask is,
爸爸我不在的时候
Dad, while I'm gone,
能帮我拿着这罐花生糖吗
will you hold onto my can of peanut brittle?
为你做任何事儿子
Anything for you, son.
有蛇
Snakes!
吓到你了
Gotcha!
蛇吃掉了花生糖
Oh. The snakes ate all the peanut brittle.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不知道我做的对不对
I don't know if I did the right thing.
安慰我
Comfort me.
马姬做父母的一部分就是不得不做些
Oh, Marge, part of being a parent is doing things
使得你的孩子再也不想跟你说话的事
that'll make your child never speak to you again.
亲爱的我不是说再也不想跟你说话
Oh, no, honey, I didn't mean "Never."
他躺在临终之床肯定会原谅你
Definitely on his deathbed.
快要断气的时候
When he's dying.
我不得不这么做不得不
I had to do it. I had to do it.
他失控了你看他对阿壳做了什么
He was out of control. Look what he did to Krusty.
小丑阿壳每晚7点
停播
我为他的编剧感到难过
I feel terrible for his writers.
不转起来老子就要揍你们了
I beat you if you don't flip sign.
给我使劲转
Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip!
阿壳的真前妻们
你们来这里干什么嘲笑我
What are you here for? To laugh at me?
-不是 -请嘲笑我
- No. - Please laugh at me!
你不笑我就无法存在了
I don't exist unless you laugh at me!
看看你儿子对我做了什么
Look what you've done to me!
他长得和我一样
He looks just like me!
阿麦和丽莎长得一样
And Maggie looks just like Lisa.
苗浩斯的妈妈长得像他爸爸
And Milhouse's mother looks just like Milhouse's father.
宇宙怎么这么懒
Why is this universe so lazy?
别管了
Never mind that.
阿壳我们儿子的恶作剧导致了这个后果
Krusty, our son's prank caused this.
我们会帮你的
We're gonna help you.
算了我已经完了
Ah, forget it. I'm finished.
-等等 -什么
- Wait, wait. - What?
你仍旧能够工作
You can still work.
如果你放弃做喜剧
What if you gave up comedy,
转去做表演呢
and transitioned to serious acting?
这不可能
Eh, impossible.
我这辈子都没展现过真情实感
I've never shown genuine emotion in my life.
这几句我都是从卡片上读的
I'm even reading this off a card.
这几句我都是从卡片上读的
好了下一句
Okay, next card.
好了下一句
但是说真的我打从心底
But seriously, I gotta speak from the--
下一张觉得
next card-- heart.
我做不了戏剧演员
I can't be a dramatic actor.
我的深度就足浴泡脚盆那么深
I have all the depth of a foot bath.
下一张跳过下一张
Next card. Skip that one. Next card.
很多喜剧演员转去演戏剧了
A lot of funny actors have transitioned to drama:
汤姆·汉克斯艾伯特·布鲁克斯
Tom Hanks, Albert Brooks.
我不信
I'm not convinced.
-迈克尔·基顿 -我信了
- Michael Keaton. - I'm in.
-扎克·布拉夫 -又不太确定了
- Zach Braff. - Now I'm not so sure.
布莱恩·科兰斯顿
Bryan Cranston.
我信了而且充满希望
I'm in. And hopeful.
春田镇大剧院
大家好我是你们的导演卢埃林·辛克莱
Greetings! I am your director, Llewellyn Sinclair,
你们就是芭比和肯
and you are the Barbies and Kens
我会把你们放在
whom I shall pose
我在马里布的海滨胜利别♥墅♥里
in my Malibu beach house of thespic triumph.
我选择了亚瑟·米勒的
My choice for our play is Arthur Miller's
《推销员之死》作为剧本
Death of a Salesman.
然而版权太贵
However, the rights cost too much,
所以我们就表演这个剧本的山寨版
so we'll be doing this knockoff version,
《推销员之倒霉的一天》
The Salesman's Bad Day.
别担心台词很简单
Don't worry, the text is just Play-Doh
我的天才团队会对剧本进行润色
to be extruded through the Fun Factory
他们都看过托尼奖颁奖礼
of my Tony Award-watching genius.
推销员威利的扮演者由请这位
To play Willie Salesman, please welcome the man
大胆踏入故意不幽默界的
who's taking a bold leap into intentional unfunniness,
并且今晚还要载我回家的
and giving me a ride home tonight,
或许还有更多用处的先生
and maybe more, hmm?
赫尔修·克拉斯托夫斯基先生
Mr. Herschel Krustofsky.
大家好给我看看剧本
Hey-hey. Let me see the script.
我的台词我的台词垃圾
My line. My line. Garbage.
垃圾我的台词
Garbage. My line.
我也不知道
I don't know.
我真的应该这么做吗
Should I really be doing this?
我是个理论上
I'm an out-of-work has-been
下一步就要去自尽的人
whose next logical step is to take his own life.
这正是《推销员之死》的主旨
And that's exactly what Death of a Salesman is about.
不是《推销员之倒霉的一天》吗
I thought this was The Salesman's Bad Day.
我刚是这么说的
And that's exactly what I said.
有人没听对吗我觉得没有
Anyone hear different? I thought not!
但是阿壳威利·洛曼的角色
But Krusty, the part of Willie Loman,
我是说"推销员"非常适合你
I mean "Salesman," is perfect for you.
你就是本色出演
You'll just be playing yourself.
-我能演一个我喜欢的人吗 -不行
- Can I play someone I like? - No.
明日新视野康复中心
我知道他看不见我但他能感受到我的爱吗
I know he can't see me, but can he still feel my love?
恐怕玻璃也能阻隔您的爱
I'm afraid the glass blocks that, too.
马姬我保证会让你的孩子康复
Marge, I promise I will make your boy whole.
我也很希望如此
I want to believe that so much.
我永远也忘不了他在出生前
I'll never forget how peaceful he was in those moments
有多么平静
before he took his very first breath.
大头钉
巴仔你装作很正常的样子
Bart, you act like you don't have a problem,
但你从心底里明白你需要帮助
but deep down, you know you need help.
不可能我好得很
No way. I am awesome.
坐下来我跟你好好说说
Sit down and I'll elaborate.
我觉得我需要一些帮助
Um, I think I'll need some help.
马姬你能进来一下吗
Uh, Marge, could you come in here?
请坐吧
Please, take my seat.
我们需要弄清♥真♥♥相♥
We need to get to the bottom of this.
一针见血
Right to the point.
不不不
No, no, no!
或许我应该换一个方式[大头针]
Oh, well, maybe I should try a different tack.
妈别坐我不想伤害你
Mom, don't sit down! I don't want to hurt you.
好了你刚完成了第一步学会同情
Okay, you just completed step one: learning empathy.
爸爸瞧