辛普森一家

The Simpsons S29E05

Part 2 Feb. 2, 2020, 11:16 a.m.

Fine, I'll tell you what it was.
-不必勉强 -真的不用我们相信你
-You don't have to. -Really, it's okay. We believe you.
我还是小孩的时候
Ever since I was a kid,
我我想做个鼓手
I-I wanted to be a drummer.
-在摇滚乐队里吗 -不是
-In a rock band? -No.
在仪仗队
Marching.
我愿意交换所有来成为字母i上的那个小点点
I would've given all I had to be the dot on that "I."
俄亥俄州立大学
那个叫"点"
It's also called a "Tittle."
你以为我不知道吗
Don't you think I know that?
为了进队所有能做的努力我都做了
I did everything I could to make that band.
在我的大学申请里我放了歌♥曲和编舞材料
In my application, I sent songs and choreographies.
打败普度大学
赢得橄榄球赛
保持优势才能挑战密歇根大学
大号♥吹奏员需要妹子
轻松搞定
I'm a shoo-in!
保底学校迈阿密大学俄亥俄校区
俄亥俄州立大学申请书
然后命运之日到来了
Then the fateful day came.
儿子俄亥俄州立大学给你寄信了
Son, you got a letter from Ohio State University.
我太紧张了站不起来
I'm too nervous to get up.
-你想我念给你听吗 -好的
- Do you want me to read it to you? -Yes.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
你被拒了
You were rejected.
可信看起来很厚啊
Uh, seems kind of thick.
他们给出了很多理由
Well, they gave you a lot of reasons
解释你为什么不够好
why you weren't good enough.
太难过了
That's so sad.
我还有些事要告诉你
There's more I have to tell you.
我本来想整理她的抽屉给她个惊喜
I was going to surprise Mother by papering her drawers,
然后我发现了这个
then I found this.
我当时被录取了
I was accepted.
她撒谎
She lied.
太惨了
That's so sad.
而更滑稽化的是
What makes this really tragic
里面还有招生部主任
is there was also a personal handwritten letter
写的亲笔信
from the Director of Admissions.
亲爱的西摩
Dear Seymour,
我真诚地希望你能接受这份含有全额奖学金的
I truly hope you'll accept a full scholarship
俄亥俄州立大学录取
to come to Ohio State.
我们想立刻对你杰出的编队能力加以利用
We want to make use of your brillant formations immediately
什么味道
What's that smell?
我在做踢球意大利面
I'm making spaghetti and kick balls.
完美巧合的是
And in a fantastic coincidence,
我们现任仪仗队经理将在四年内退休
our current marching band director is due to retire in four years
我也找不到更好的换任了
and I can't of a better replacement.
你将在哥伦布社区过着顶端的生活
You'll live a life at the pinnacle of Columbus society
你最终将被埋葬在能永恒见证
and be buried at the fifty-yard line
抛硬币的地方就在55码线处
where you will witness coin tosses for all eternity.
还有比这更糟的吗
Does it get worse than that?
怎么可能有事比这更糟呢
How could it be worse than that?
我能看看信吗
May I see the letter?
我必须说你的同情是个令人欣慰的惊喜
I must say your sympathy is a pleasant surprise.
不只因为这可能是唯一一封
No, this is just the only college acceptance letter
我拿过的录取信
I'll ever hold.
因为以上这些所有原因
So it's for all these reasons that I will not be seeking
我将不会在议会争取席位
a seat in the U.S. Senate.
下面我将接受几个提问
I will now take a few questions.
让我告诉你们我刚得到了个多么不得了的礼物
Let me tell you the wonderful present I just got.
老爸好惊喜啊
Dad! What a surprise!
他来干嘛
What's he doing here?
我们不是昨天才见了他吗
Didn't we just see him yesterday?
这就是他们悄悄说的话吗
That's what they're saying under their breath?
可恶我要全部都听见
How awful! I want to hear all of it.
也许我们表现得很累他就会回家了
Maybe if we pretend we're tired, he'll go home.
感谢上帝他听不见我们
Thank God he can't hear us.
我很感激打假呵欠
And I'm glad these fake yawns
是我们能以一家人的形式做的事
are something we can do as a family.
什么你也同意
What?! You, too?!
再见
Good-bye!
爸爸等等
Dad, wait!
这老笨蛋怎么了
What's wrong with the old coot?
我是说你咋啦你这可爱的老笨蛋
I mean, what's wrong with you, you sweet old coot?
我有了个助听器我听见了你们说的每个字
I got a hearing aid, and I heard everything you said.
我们不是我们说的那个刻薄的意思
We didn't mean the mean things we meant.
我们这样说是因为我们这么想的
We just said them because we meant them.
我永远不会来了
I am gone forever!
春田百货周三永远关门
在商场里逛逛能让我心情好点
A little mall walk will cheer me up.
老头子别跟他眼神接触
Oh,old guy. Don't make eye contact.
按♥摩♥他们就像在做干的千层面一样
Rubbing them is like working dry lasagna.
老头子朝这边来了
Old guy! Here he comes!
他想试用我所有的润肤露样品
He'll want to try all my lotion samples.
我还得跟他解释手♥机♥上的发送键是什么
I'll have to explain what "Send" Is on a cell phone.
进来看看啊来看看
Come in! Come in!
邪恶满屋
这才像样
Well, that's more like it.
棺材城市在盒子里思考
我不得不作弊
I had to cheat.
我是为了拿到好成绩
I was doing it for the bell curve.
在百分之九十九的选民投票之后
And with 99% of the vote in,
下一任总统就是丽莎·辛
the next president is Lisa Simps--
等一下
Wait a minute.
有人告诉我她在二年级的作文里作弊了
I'm being told she cheated on a paper in second grade.
她不够格
She is disqualified,
因此我们下一任总统是肯尼·希♥特♥勒♥
making our next president Kenny Hitler.
不要啊啊啊
No!
欢迎收看鲍勃·霍普的俄亥俄州立秀
Hey, welcome to Bob Hope's USO Show,
我也叫它没有多洛雷斯的圣诞
or as I like to call it, Christmas away from Dolores.
本该是我在那些鼓那儿的
That could've been me on those drums.
本该是我在他托卢卡湖边的房♥子里排练的
I would've gotten to rehearse at his house in Toluca Lake.
托卢卡湖啊
Toluca Lake!
不出名战役的老兵之家
来点什么
What'll it be?
老兵我可以要杯啤酒诉说烦心事吗
Can an old vet have a beer and tell you his troubles?
当然
Sure.
关闭
这就是我怎么弄开一个橙子
And that's how I opened the orange.
俄亥俄州立大学建于1870年
我妈没告诉我我被录取了
So, uh, my mother didn't tell me I got in.
没关系你现在也可以入学
That's all right. You can enroll now.
-真的吗 -当然不是
- Can I? - No!
这是个学校不是80年代的喜剧
This is a school, not an '80s comedy.
你写给我的那封信
That, uh, letter you sent me...
你也寄给了其他所有学生吗
is that something you send every student?
不我只寄了一次给你的
No, I only sent that once, to you.
你没来上学
When you didn't show up,
那是我职业生涯中第二差的一天
that was the second worst day of my career.
最差的一天是哪天
What was the worst?
十校联盟扩展为14个学校的那天
The day the Big Ten expanded to 14 schools.
我们怎么回事智障吗
What are we, morons?
直到西北大学指出来我们才发现
We didn't even notice till Northwestern pointed it out.
抱歉我不该告诉你信的事吗
Oh, I'm sorry, should I not have told you about the letter?
不是
Uh, no.
其实挺好的因为我已经不难过了
It's actually good, because I'm no longer sad.
我怒了
I'm angry!
是时候在校园内进行一场热闹的自助游了
It's time for a furious self-guided tour of this campus.
我从没见人绕着椭圆走这么多圈
I've never seen someone walk the oval so many times.
他一定很晕
He's got to be dizzy.
我每转一圈都换方向
I switch directions every other lap.
七叶树果园
七叶树俄亥俄州人别称
-密歇根大逊 -什么
- Oh, uh, Michigan sucks. - What?
在我们学校这是"抱歉"的意思
That's how we say "Excuse me" Around here.
*败者败者*
*Loser, loser*
*败者败者*
*Loser, loser*
*错失良机*
*Missed opportunity*