辛普森一家
The Simpsons S29E12
Part 3
Feb. 2, 2020, 11:17 a.m.
我们继续下个抗♥议♥
Let's move on to the next protest:
懒人餐厅过剩
too many poke restaurants.
各种懒人餐厅
懒汉没毛病
Poke is just okay.
懒汉没毛病
Poke is just okay.
小木槌拍卖♥♥行
保罗·塞尚的《水岸》
At Water's Edge by Paul Cézanne,
以六千五百万成交
sold for $65 million.
太棒了 我和史蒂夫·马丁一样开心
Yeah! I'm as happy as Steve Martin.
真是 天呐 不
It's... Oh, God, no.
最后一个拍卖♥♥品是胡安·米罗的《女诗人》
Our last item is The Poetess by Joan Miró.
起拍价为五百万美元
The bidding starts at $5 million.
我出价
I bid that.
-你在干什么 -我有个得到那幅画的计划
- What are you doing? - I have a plan to get the painting.
六百万
$6 million.
我觉得我可以出更高价
I think we can do better than that.
我需要这幅画
I need this painting
放在我在哥斯达黎加的私人猴子避难所中
for my private monkey sanctuary in Costa Rica.
猴子们很喜欢这幅画的色彩
The monkeys find the colors quite arousing.
七百万
$7 million.
-八百万 -九百万
- Eight million. - Nine million.
先生 我们想核查一下您
Sir, we attempted to verify your funds
在老谋子第一银行的资金
at the First Bank of Moe's.
电♥话♥中的人威胁道要把我们的头骨煮了
The man at the phone threatened to boil our skulls
然后放进
and make them into...
老鼠厕所里
rat toilets.
没事的 老爸
It's okay, Dad.
你只是很爱那幅画而已
You just really loved that painting.
现在已经出到了八百万美元
The bidding stands at $8 million.
-九百万 -一千万
- Nine million. - Ten million.
一千一百万
11 million.
一千五百万美元
$15 million.
胡安·米罗的《女诗人》一次
Joan Miró's The Poetess going once...
两次 成交
going twice... sold!
科技巨擘 亿万富翁 梅根·玛萨孙
To billionaire tech mogul Megan Matheson.
别要那张画 我爱那张画
Don't take that painting, I love it!
我不会交给你的
I won't let you take it!
你的故事一应俱全了
Your story had everything...
一次实地考察 一场梦境片段 戏子梅尔
a field trip, a dream sequence, Sideshow Mel...
还给出了你父亲偷走那幅画的
and it gave your father the perfect motive
完美作案动机
to steal that painting:
增进与自己女儿的关系
a deeper connection to his daughter.
也许 但我很肯定不是他偷的
Well, maybe, but I'm sure he's innocent.
老妈 丽莎 七十年代的老色鬼
Mom, Lisa, 1970s horndog,
咱爸溜了
Dad's run off.
他畏罪潜逃了
He's on the lam!
只要我把你丈夫送进监狱
You know, once I send your husband to prison,
你就差不多单身了
you'll be kind of single.
看起来候默是从这扇窗户逃出去的
It seems Homer escaped out this window.
以我多年的侦查经验
In all my years as an investigator,
我从没见过破坏如此剧烈的棚架
I've never seen a trellis take such a pounding.
我知道看起来很糟
I know it looks bad,
但想想我们的话
but think about what we told you.
我丈夫不可能偷得了那幅画
My husband could never have stolen that painting.
谢谢你 马姬
Thank you, Marge.
现在我知道一切是怎么回事了
I now know exactly how everything happened.
你怎么知道的
How do you know that?
我很乐意解释
I'll be happy to explain...
和你共进早餐时
over breakfast?
你还真是过不了美人关
You have a real problem with women.
我知道 我会看心理医生的
I know. I'm seeing a therapist...
今晚在我家
tonight at my place.
滚 快滚
Oh, get out. Go, go!
春田艺术博物馆
《女诗人》白巧克力
白巧克力 最孤独的巧克力
White chocolate... the loneliest chocolate.
候默 我就知道你在这里
Homer, I know you're in there.
你怎么找到我的
How did you find me?
我知道你会回到犯罪现场
I knew you'd return to the scene of the crime:
你内心的平静失窃的地方
where your inner peace was stolen.
你不能抓走我 你又不是警♥察♥
You can't bring me in. You're not a cop.
你连普通的保险调查员都不是
You're not even a regular insurance investigator.
你只是个自♥由♥职业者
You're freelance.
不开♥发♥票连薪水都领不到
You don't get paid unless you submit an invoice.
所以我可以决定我的公♥司♥什么时候结算
Which lets me control when my corporate year ends.
你总是领先一步
You're always one step ahead.
我不喜欢你 曼纳彻
I don't like you, Manacek.
你家人说的故事 说你是如何
Your family's story of how you fell in love
爱上这幅画 确实证明了你的清白
with that painting did prove your innocence.
-怎么说 -因为这里有一个关键的事实
- How? - By providing one crucial fact:
你蠢到没办法偷东西
you're too dumb to steal anything.
也许是我拿的
Maybe I did take it.
-相信我 你没拿 -我本来可以拿的
- Trust me, you didn't. - I could have.
但我知道你没有 我就这么认为
But I know you didn't. That's what I'm saying.
-我很聪明的 -你很蠢的
- I'm smart. - You're dumb.
春田艺术博物馆
在缜密思考过我所观察到的
After careful consideration of facts and evidence
事实和证据
observed only by me,
我知道是谁偷走了女诗人
I can reveal who stole The Poetess:
玛萨孙小姐
Ms. Matheson.
你上次公开募股失败
Your last IPO was DOA,
你需要钱让女朋友
and you needed the cash to keep your girlfriend
潜心研究混血蚊子卵
in hybrid mosquito larva.
这种事儿我见过很多次了
I've seen it a thousand times.
不可能 全副武装的保安
Impossible! The armed guards
不会让画离开视野
never let the painting out of their sight.
哪个全副武装的保安
But which armed guards?
其实很容易就可以看出
It was a simple matter of finding
保安有各自的双胞胎
the guards' identical twins,
雇他们抢劫自己的兄弟
then hiring them to rob their own brothers.
这会是你最后解开的
That's the last impossible mystery
不可能谜团了
you'll ever solve.
干得漂亮 曼纳彻先生
Well done, Mr. Manacek.
谁会怀疑到
Who would have suspected
是这个我们都没见过的人干的
it was the person none of us had ever met before?
是啊 真惭愧 她费那么大劲儿
Yes, it's a shame she went through all that trouble
去偷一幅
to steal a painting...
已经被你偷了的
that had already been stolen...
画作
by you.
还没到时候 先生
Uh, not yet, sir.
我是说 你竟敢以这种罪名指责我
I mean, how dare you accuse me of such a crime?
但画作在保险库里很安全
But the painting was safely in our vault
直到它离开了拍卖♥♥行
until it left the auction house.
哪个拍卖♥♥行
But which auction house?
小木槌拍卖♥♥行
其实很容易就可以发现
It was a simple matter
伯恩斯在真的拍卖♥♥行旁边
of Burns building an identical auction house
小木槌拍卖♥♥行
造了一间假的
next door to the real one.
画作真品从未离开保险库
The actual painting never left the vault,
这样伯恩斯只要有空就能偷
so Burns could steal it at his leisure.
-现在 -是的先生
- Now? - Yes, sir.
我的画
My painting!
感谢上帝那群小偷没把你偷去
Oh, thank goodness those thieves didn't get you.
真惭愧 我打了一个女人和一个老人
It's a shame I punched out a woman and an old man over...
就为了一个礼品店手提包
a gift shop tote bag.
丽莎
Lisa?
我没想过要偷
It wasn't my plan to steal it.
小木槌拍卖♥♥行
这幅画是我和老爸
That painting was the first thing
第一次引起共鸣的东西
my dad and I ever had in common.
拍卖♥♥行员工通道
我不能看着他失去这幅画
I couldn't bear to see him lose it.
其实很简单
It was a simple matter
甚至在被拍卖♥♥前 我就已经
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