辛普森一家

The Simpsons S29E08

Part 2 Feb. 2, 2020, 11:17 a.m.

不是他们只是普通的男人和女人
No, they are a man and a woman
被困于易碎的婚姻之中
trapped in a fragile marriage
而且还在我14岁那年几近破裂
that nearly fell apart when I turned 14.
生日快乐生日快乐
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
我记得住了别告诉你的心理治疗师
I remembered! Don't tell your therapist.
*丽莎今天是你的生日*
*Lisa, it's your birthday*
*我们有了五段新歌♥*
*Here's five brand-new verses*
*很快你就要成为女人*
*Soon you'll be a woman*
*很快你就要坠入爱河*
*Soon you'll be in love*
*谁的意见还能更好*
*Who'd be better to take advice from*
*当然要问个带一只手套的男人*
*Than a man who wears one glove?*
*丽莎今天是你的生日*
*Lisa, it's your birthday*
*生日快乐丽莎*
*Happy birthday, Lisa*
*丽莎今天是你的生日*
*Lisa, it's your birthday*
*生日快乐丽莎*
*Happy birthday, Lisa*
耶
Yeah.
12岁生日快乐
谢谢真是个很棒的生日蛋糕爸爸
Thank you. It's a wonderful cake, Dad,
但我14了
but I'm 14.
生日快乐丽莎
Happy birthday, Lisa.
二年级的我们好想你
We miss you in second grade.
总有一天你也能不再留级的拉尔夫
Oh, someday you'll get out of there, Ralph.
我不想那样我比老师都大
I don't want to. I'm bigger than teacher.
我把桌子弄坏了老师哭了
I broke my desk. Teacher cry.
我要在我的长鼻子下面留胡子
I'm growing a mustache under my long nose.
还是用妈妈的衣柜吧
Better use Mom's closet.
满了吗
It's full?
侯默
致侯默
读我读我
Read me. Read me.
拜托帮帮这封信吧
Come on, help a letter out.
"亲爱的侯默
"Dear Homer,
当你读到这封信时
by the time you read this..."
我已经不在了
I will be gone.
自我们婚后你已经变了个人
Since we married, you've changed.
而且并不是向好的方向
Not once for the better.
上面写了什么我不识字
What's it say? I can't read.
所以我要带孩子们去开一家简易旅馆
So I'm taking the kids and opening a bed-and-breakfast.
轮胎火堆在哪
现在有四堆了
生气的马姬
Bitterly, Marge.
妈妈要离开爸爸了吗
Is Mom really leaving Dad?
婚前协议我什么都没有侯默
你终于离开他了
So, you finally left him.
对我是好事对你也是
Well, good for me and good for you.
我终于学会一只手解胸衣了
I finally learned how to unhook a bra with one hand.
丽莎我知道你在干什么
Lisa, I know what you're doing.
去钓鱼了
你本来该帮我给小狗洗澡
You're hiding when you're supposed to help me
但你却躲了起来
give the dog a bath.
妈妈妈妈
Mom, Mom!
我又不走
I'm not going anywhere.
上帝保佑你懒惰
Oh, God bless you, inertia.
我要先给小狗洗完澡
Not until I wash this dog.
巴仔妈妈要离开爸爸了
Bart, Mom's leaving Dad.
可怜人
Oh, the poor guy.
求你让我告诉他吧求你
Please let me tell him, please.
递一下肉汤
Pass the gravy.
我们以前都管它叫肉汁但太恐怖
We used to call it "Grave," But that was too scary.
所以改成了肉汤除非里面有肉块
So we modified it to "Gravy," Unless it had meat chunks.
那样的话就叫肉块汤
In which case, it was "Gravier,"
但战争改变了一切
But the war changed everything.
我希望你不要在孩子们面前喝这么多酒
I wish you wouldn't drink so much in front of the kids.
马姬我想在储藏室喝的
Marge, I tried to drink in the pantry,
但你说那有违公德
but you claim that's antisocial.
你直接去老谋子的酒吧行吗
Why don't you just go to Moe's?
你要我在我女儿生日上去酒吧
You want me to go to a bar on my daughter's birthday?
简直过分
That is so messed up.
当然我要去但是简直过分
I'm going, of course, but it is so messed up.
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
哈佛能救我哈佛能救我
Harvard will save me. Harvard will save me.
吻我丽莎在我祖父捐的楼前面
Kiss me, Lisa, in front of the hall my grandfather endowed.
他贩鸦♥片♥赚的钱但我们说那是糖浆
He made his money in opium, but we said it was molasses.
首先我得先拯救我父母的婚姻
First, I have to save my parents' marriage.
在我的幻想里等我一下好吗
Wait here in this fantasy?
那个我们能约会其他人吗
Yeah, can we, um, you know, see other people?
当然
Sure.
投资新楼
300亿美元以上
老谋子酒吧
老谋子老谋子你真勤快
Man, Moe, you sure are spry.
这工作让我保持年轻
The job keeps me young, eh.
爸爸妈妈要离开你了
Dad! Mom is gonna leave you.
亲爱的婚姻就像热水壶
Sweetie, marriages are like water heaters--
它会安静过好些年
they sit peacefully for years
直到最后爆发成火球烧掉你的一切
until they explode in a fireball ruining everything you own.
妈妈收拾了行李
Mom packed her bags.
哪个行李箱轮子坏掉的吗
Which suitcase? The one with the broken wheel?
因为那个箱子可拖不远
Because she won't get more than a block away with that.
她都修好了
She fixed the wheel.
天哪
Oh, God!
爸爸你得振作起来
Dad, you've got to shape up.
我14岁了
I'm 14-years-old.
这四年是我仅剩的我们能
These next four years are the last memories I'll have
在一起的时间了
of all of us together.
你说怎么做我就怎么做亲爱的
I'll do anything you say, sweetie.
我要你戒酒
I want you to stop drinking.
戒酒
Stop drinking?
但那就像你要高尔夫选手戒酒
But that's like asking a golfer to stop drinking.
我从没想过我会这么说
I never thought I'd say this,
但是我得联♥系♥一下我的保证人
but I'd better text my sponsor.
侯默有保证人
Homer's got a sponsor?
哪个白♥痴♥会惹这种麻烦
What idiot would lean into that buzz saw?
大家好我是戒酒会保证人
Hey, hey! I'm the man from A-diddly-A!
奈德我需要马上戒酒
Ned, I have to quit drinking. Now!
好的戒酒者只有简单的12步
All right, soberino, it's just 12 simple steps.
这么多啊
Oh, 12?
好吧九步
Fine. Nine.
好的第一步承认你是无力的
Okay, step one: Admit you're powerless.
我是无力的成了
I'm powerless. Boom! Done.
承认有高于你的力量存在
Admit there is a power greater than yourself.
如果我是无力的所有力量都高于我吧
Um, if I'm powerless, isn't every power greater than myself?
这是12步戒酒法不是20个问题
This is the 12 steps, not 20 questions.
现在决定将你奉献给上帝
Now, make a decision to turn your life to God.
上帝哪里都有他跟隐藏条款一样
God. He's in every deal, like undercoating. Fine.
检视自己的道德
Make a searching moral inventory of yourself.
如果说我有缺点那就是缺点太多
If I have one tiny flaw, it's that I have many enormous flaws.
承认你的过错
Admit the nature of your wrongs.
我确实不太会停车
Well, I'm not the best parallel parker.
准备好让上帝帮你改掉缺点了吗
Are you ready for God to remove these defects?
亲爱的主天堂的撒旦
Dear Lord, the Satan of Heaven,
我命令你拯救我
I order you to fix me.
好的我还是用快速版吧
Okay, I'm just gonna fast-forward through this.
-改错 -给你你的钱包
- Make amends. - Here's your wallet.
-祈祷 -求你别生气
- Engage in prayer. - I pray you're not mad.
达到彻悟
And have a spiritual awakening.
那些标价9.99美元的东西
Things that cost $9.99
其实就是10美元啊
are really ten dollars!
主发话了你已变好
The Lord has spoken, and it is good!
好了不再喝酒了
That's it. No more drinking.
看看那些人
Look at those guys.
我曾和他们一样
I used to be like them.
我真为你感到高兴
Oh, I'm overjoyed for thee.
如果再听到恶魔的诱惑随时找我
Call me anytime you hear the devil's seductive voice.
侯默
Homer?