辛普森一家
The Simpsons S29E12
Part 1
Feb. 2, 2020, 11:17 a.m.
辛普森一家
第二十九季 第十二集
小木槌拍卖♥♥行
竞价开始于八百万美元
The bidding stands at $8 million.
九百万
Nine million.
一千万
Ten million.
一千一百万
11 million!
一千五百万
$15 million.
胡安·米罗的《女诗人》
Joan Miró's The Poetess,
一次 两次
going once, going twice,
成交
sold.
科技巨擘 亿万富翁 梅根·玛萨孙
To billionaire tech mogul Megan Matheson.
别要那张画 我爱那张画
Don't take that painting, I love it!
我不会交给你的
I won't let you take it!
《女诗人》
第二天
是你的了 玛萨孙女士
There you have it, Ms. Matheson,
胡安·米罗的《女诗人》
Joan Miró's The Poetess.
我的画被偷了
My painting's been stolen.
这不可能
That's impossible.
这个谜案太神秘 只有一个人能破案
It's a mystery so baffling, only one man can solve it.
我找曼纳彻
Get me Manacek.
庞贝侦探
曼纳彻
没有艺术的地方就是家
一位伟人
协约保险公♥司♥
协约保险公♥司♥
ACE皮鞋有限责任公♥司♥
协约保险公♥司♥
感谢上帝你来了 曼纳彻先生
Thank goodness you're here, Mr. Manacek.
你是这行里最棒的
You're the best freelance insurance investigator
自♥由♥保险调查员了
in the business.
正是我们需要的
Oh, well, isn't that just what we need?
一个为了让警♥察♥出丑的小白脸
Some smug pretty boy out to make us cops look stupid.
克兰西 你看起来好...
Ah, Clancy, you're looking well...
-胖 -你看我说什么来着
- fed. - Uh... see?
他是故意停顿的
He put that pause between those two words deliberately.
也许是 也许 不是
Maybe I did, maybe I... didn't.
别人也会玩这个
Well, two can play at that...
停顿
pause.
三个人都竞拍了被偷的那幅画
Three people bid on the stolen painting:
核电巨头伯恩斯先生
nuclear magnate Mr. Burns,
投资资本家梅根·玛萨孙
venture capitalist Megan Matheson
还有打迷你高尔夫作弊的侯默·辛普森
and mini golf cheat Homer Simpson.
他们都是嫌疑人
They're all suspects.
我就直说了 曼纳彻
I don't mind telling you, Manacek:
希望你栽个大跟头
I hope you fall flat on your face.
希望不会
I hope not.
我妈妈倒是更希望这样
My mother's rather fond of it.
真讨厌你的利嘴
Damn your wit.
曼纳彻 我不知道你找我♥干♥什么
Look, Manacek, I don't know why you're talking to me.
被偷的是我的画
It's my painting that was stolen.
是的 但这幅一千五百万拍来的画
Yes, but you insured a $15 million painting
你买♥♥了三千万的保险
for $30 million.
对于一个精于算计的女人 这可不合算
For a woman with a head for numbers, it doesn't add up.
你个混♥蛋♥
You smug son of a bitch.
我喜欢你 曼纳彻
I like you, Manacek.
但你应该去找真正的小偷
But you should be talking to the real painting thief:
拍卖♥♥上输给我的人 蒙哥马利·伯恩斯
the man I outbid, Montgomery Burns.
健身方式很不错
That's quite a workout you're getting.
不过我有更好的运动方式
Although, I can think of a better one.
抱歉 但我和前丹麦小姐
Sorry, but I'm in a committed relationship
正在热恋中
with the former Miss Denmark.
她创造了一种能治疗疟疾的蚊子
She's created a breed of mosquito that cures malaria.
如果她想制♥造♥不破坏承诺的药 跟我说一声
Well, if she invents a cure for commitment, let me know.
拉盘
Pull.
射击
Shoot.
枪法不错 伯恩斯先生
Nice shot, Mr. Burns.
在古老技艺打飞碟上真是天赋颇高啊
You're a natural in the ancient art of skeet.
就不用拍马屁了 曼纳彻
Oh, spare me your flattery, Manacek.
我知道你来干什么
I know why you're here.
你觉得是我偷了那幅破画
You think I stole that ridiculous painting.
荒唐
Absurd.
有个小东西跟我说
A little clay pigeon told me
你受不了在拍卖♥♥上输给 女人
that you couldn't stand being outbid by... A woman.
拉盘 拉盘 拉盘
Pull, pull, pull!
看来被击中了的只有...
Looks like the only thing being hit around here...
神经
is a nerve.
我要打烂你的脸
I'll blast that smile right off your smug face.
我喜欢你 曼纳彻
I like you, Manacek.
但是谁偷了那幅画其实很明显
But it's obvious who took the painting.
就是那个说要不顾一切占有那幅画的人
That lunatic who said he'd do anything to have it:
侯默·辛普森
Homer Simpson.
我 那是你自己带来的吗
I... Did you bring that with you?
这是充气杯子
It's inflatable.
我在布鲁克斯东买♥♥的
I got it at Brookstone.
春田核电站
我帮不了你的案子 曼纳彻先生
I don't know what help I can be with your case, Mr. Manacek.
如你所见 我是个大忙人
As you can see, I'm a very busy man.
根据我的线人莱尼所说
According to my sources... Lenny...
你对那幅画非常痴迷
you were obsessed with that painting.
我自己曾痴迷于
I myself was once obsessed
有着皮革口袋的羊皮运动夹克
with a suede sports jacket with leather pockets.
为了得到它我愿意做任何事
I would have done anything to get it.
甚至去偷一幅画
Even steal a painting.
我 我会痴迷于什么蠢画
Me? Obsessed with some stupid painting?
太扯淡了吧
That's absurd.
-是吗 -你说得对
- Is it? - You're right.
为了拥有那幅画我会做任何事
I'd do anything to have that painting.
说谎 杀人 偷窃 呃杀人算了
Lie, kill, steal. Well, not kill.
但我愿意偷取它 并为此撒谎
But I would steal it, and then lie about it.
但我真没偷
But I didn't steal it.
我也真没撒谎
And I'm not lying.
给我相信 不然我就杀了你
Believe me, or I'll kill you.
我喜欢你 曼纳彻
I like you, Manacek.
我要杀了你
I'll kill you!
我喜欢你
I like you.
辛普森先生 你背后的故事
Mr. Simpson, there's more to your story
比你说出的更多啊
than you're letting on.
而我将要一一挖掘出来
And I'm gonna find out what.
请不要这么做
Please don't.
披萨外卖♥♥仔的颜值一直在上升啊
The pizza delivery boys get better looking all the time.
我是侯默·辛普森的妻子
I'm Homer Simpson's wife.
我喜欢妻子型 她们永不会缠着你结婚
I love wives. They never pester you to marry them.
你经验很丰富啊
Geez, you've got a lot of lines.
你也能 给你展示下我的灯芯绒床单吧
You will too, after I show you my corduroy sheets.
曼纳彻先生 我的丈夫啥也做不成
Mr. Manacek, my husband is a wreck.
请您给个机会让我证明他是清白的
Please, just give me a chance to convince you he's innocent.
那等到晚餐结束后再说
Only if it's over dinner.
好吧
Okay.
再来点玉米片派吗 曼纳彻先生
More Frito pie, Mr. Manacek?
当然 很乐意
Sure, why not?
如果侯默真的没有犯偷画的罪
If he's not guilty of stealing that painting,
那为什么他要缩在楼上
why is Homer cowering on the stairs,
用手抓着吃盒子里的麦片呢
eating cereal straight from the box?
侯默很容易惊慌
Well, Homer's so quick to panic.
这是他唯一的缺点
It's his only flaw.
马姬 我希望你对我实话实说
Marge, I need you to be straight with me.
好吧我承认 他有很多缺点
Okay, I admit it, he has many flaws.
千百个 缺点
Thousands. Flaws.
浑身 都是缺点
Everywhere, flaws.
你丈夫看起来不像典型的艺术爱好者
Your husband doesn't really seem like a typical art lover,
但他却对女性有卓越的品味
but he shows exquisite taste in the female form.
裤兜在前面的家伙 少给我老妈献殷勤
Hey, Front Pockets, quit hitting on my mom.
她只爱那个裤子紧绷的矮胖男人 老爸
She only loves one stocky man in tight pants: our dad.
抱歉 当我在勾搭美女时
Sorry, I can only solve impossible crimes
辛普森一家
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