辛普森一家

The Simpsons S29E11

Part 3 Feb. 2, 2020, 11:17 a.m.

你在干嘛
What are you doing?
做我最擅长的事
The only thing I'm good at.
什么也不做
Nothing.
这太过分了
That tears it.
我们去见付教授
We're going to see Professor Frink,
去弄清楚这个测试是怎么搞的
and find out exactly what happened on that test.
给你带了个小礼物巴仔
Got a little present for you, Bart.
它叫《傻子的圣经》
It's called The Bible For The Slow. Mm?
《傻子的圣经》杀死长子
他才不会要呢
He's not going to take it.
这样吗好吧
Okily-dokily.
付教授你愚蠢的测试毁了我儿子的生活
Professor Frink, your stupid test ruined my son's life.
这测试对我来说就像亲生儿子一样
Hey, that test is like a son to me.
我把它从一个小测验养到大
I raised it from a quiz.
我一直很了解我儿子
I've known my son since he was born,
他不可能像你那傻测试一样说的
and he's not anywhere near as stupid
那么愚蠢弱智
as your stupid test says he is.
如果你那样想那你就愚不可及
And if you think so, you're stupid, stupid, stupid!
马姬
Wow, Marge.
你真的很爱巴仔
You really love Bart.
好吧我来复核一下
All right, all right, let me recheck it.
复核复核
Uh, rechecking, rechecking.
老谋子·锡丝拉克
迪斯科司徒
受虐待的叹息
Put-upon sigh.
唉
Oivik.
韦隆·史密瑟斯马上改名韦妲
复核找到了
Rechecking-- ah, here we are.
B开头的名字姓辛普森
Uh, Simpson, B.
B·辛普森
这不是字母B
That's not a "B".
啊是的你看这两个
Well, yes, it is, you see, the two--
我的天哪
oh, my garvik!
我搞错了
There was a mistake.
你的儿子智商高于平均水平
Well, your son has above-average intelligence.
你做到啦儿子
You did it, boy.
而这个只是看起来像字母B
No, that just looks like a "B."
这个最不幸的人是H开头的辛普森
The real unfortunate is H. Simpson.
真是个傻瓜
I mean, what a clod!
全镇字最丑脑子最差的人
Worst handwriting and brain in town.
我就是那个H开头的人
I'm H. Simpson.
呃很高兴见到您
Oh, well, it's very nice to meet you.
喝点水吗
Would you like some water?
-变聪明的水 -不是
- Smartwater? - No.
-侯默上车啊 -再见
- Homie, aren't you coming? - Bye-bye.
我不上我将会变成所有知道我是
I can't. I'll be a laughing stock when everyone finds out
全镇最蠢的人的笑柄
I'm the stupidest man in town.
他们怎么会知道
How are they gonna find out?
我朋友圈刚说了
I just tweeted it.
马姬你得阻止这些消息传播
Marge, you have to get ahead of these stories.
第三放映厅
诺亚·鲍姆巴♥赫♥传记
第三放映厅
抱歉先生你属于这里
I'm sorry, sir, you belong here.
第四放映厅《抢劫坚果店》
天才桌
蠢才桌
看汝为真实
Look thou be true.
莎士比亚公园秀
莫轻浮
Do not give dalliance.
约束已多
Too much of the rein.
冰上芝麻街警告语言易懂
为什么奥斯卡顶着垃圾桶滑冰
Why does Oscar skate in his trash can?
这太荒唐了
It makes no sense!
水族馆售票入口
我来这儿开心下
I'll cheer up here.
春田镇水族馆成人10元
老人8元蠢人30元
一张蠢人票谢谢
One "Stupid," Please?
你给我40元
Okay, you gave me $40.
找你2块
Here's two dollars back.
除非你还想买♥♥落水保险
Unless you want splash insurance.
-那个多少钱 -也是10块
- How much is that? - Another ten.
给你20块
Uh, here's $20.
再给你两个
And two more for you.
保险没有涵盖入口通道溅水
Insurance doesn't cover entryway splashes.
候默我们在看《危险边境》但是
Hey, Homer, uh, we was watching Jeopardy!, but, uh,
告诉你吧我们现在只会谈论形状和颜色
tell you what, we'll just talk about shapes and colors now.
我喜欢蓝色长方形
I like blue rectangles.
长方形知道吗候默
Rectangles. You know, Homer.
就是那个有四条边的
The ones with four sides.
听着你
Listen, you.
我16岁就能分辨形状了
I've known my shapes since I was 16!
放他下来候默我就给你一块饼干
Put him down, Homer, and I'll give you a cookie.
老谋子
那是个杯托
That's a coaster.
蠢蛋变聪明了
Ooh! Dummy's wising up.
我要饼干
I'll take the cookie.
没想到这话会从我嘴里出来
I never thought I'd say this,
老谋子酒吧让我很郁闷
but I'm too depressed for Moe's.
笨蛋酒吧
你好啊候默
Heya, Homer.
抱歉我知道我占了床的一大半
I'm sorry. I know I'm taking up too much of the bed.
亲爱的
Oh, sweetie.
全世界的人这么想也不会影响我对你的看法
What the entire world thinks doesn't affect how I see you.
你对我有什么看法
Well, how do you see me?
发型和身材都如意气风发的塔克修士一般
The hair and body of a dashing Friar Tuck.
那智商呢
But what about my brains?
《绿野仙踪》中我最喜欢的角色
My favorite character in The Wizard of Oz
一直都是稻草人
was always the Scarecrow.
我就知道多谢那个测试
I knew it. Thanks to that test,
你对我第一印象就是笨第三才是候默
you see me as stupid first and Homer third.
我是说第二
I mean, second.
我知道第二
I know second.
我不会让你自暴自弃的
I won't let you give up.
我们准备开始帮你进步
We're going to start improving you.
马姬 39岁后没人能
Oh, Marge. No one ever did anything useful
做出什么有意义的事了
after the age of 39.
小布♥什♥清醒了
George W. Bush sobered up.
当了总统
And became president.
超大的错误
Too huge mistakes.
老侯这场混乱是因为
Homie, this whole mix-up happened
你那潦草的字迹而起的
because of your sloppy handwriting.
我们从这里着手提高你的书法
We'll start with that, improving your handwriting.
此刻我的手只想缩在我的口袋里哭泣
Right now, my hand just wants to crawl in my pocket and cry.
那这只手吃醋了
Now this hand is jealous.
我知道接下来会怎样
I know where this is going.
我也知道但你先说
Um, I do, too, but you say it first.
抱抱
Snuggling.
他有什么秘密他有什么秘密
What is his secret? What is his secret?!
我要去迪晕尼乐园了
I'm going to Dizzyland.
危险
带头盔才能进入
想看我翻筋斗吗
Want to see me do a cartwheel?
-不不不不 -好主意
- No! No, no, no! - Good point.
换句话说走你
On the other hand, whee!
别担心阿卢我在动画片里见过这个
Don't worry, Lou, I've seen that in cartoons.
小豆子脱线先生他们都没事
Swee'Pea, Mr. Magoo, they were fine.
那大坏猫呢
What about Sylvester the Cat?
在动画片里千万不要当猫阿卢
Never be a cat in a cartoon, Lou.
千万不要
Never.
横梁一定有个支点我移到那里
The beam must have a fulcrum I can move to
就能让它保持平衡
that would stabilize it.
思考丽莎思考
Think, Lisa, think.
二对二
Two for two.
年轻人我没让你老实待在屋里吗
Young man, didn't I tell you to sit and stay in that house?
我以为你是在跟狗讲话
I thought you were talking to the dog.
我们没养狗
We don't have a dog.
那是谁一直在我卧室拉屎
Then what's been pooping in my bedroom?
教授他怎么可能分数比我高
Professor, how on Earth did he get a higher score than me?