辛普森一家

The Simpsons S29E06

Part 1 Feb. 2, 2020, 11:16 a.m.

今年感恩节火鸡将赦免一只总统
辛普森一家
第二十九季第六集
欢迎来到春田核电站
高尚的灵魂使矮人变高大
老谋子酒倌指定司机免费畅饮
我才不问我的辅♥导♥员为什么找不到好点的工作
已有3天未发生事故
爸爸看啊一个沙发
小淑女不会指指点点
早上八点了孩子们该去工作了
煤矿儿童入口
孩子们孩子们
你们忘了妹妹
下得太深了
我要待在这儿
另一个经典沙发笑话
辛普森电影公♥司♥制♥作♥ 1917年
肯特·布罗克曼为您现场报道
This is Kent Brockman on location
周围均为春田镇的善良百姓
among the good people of Springfield.
不要向记者扔食物
胆小鬼
Coward!
今天我们将庆祝美丽的天际公园开业
Because today, we celebrate beautiful Skyline Park,
打破玻璃把说空话的人放出来
它是一项建在春田单轨电车遗址上的
a reclamation project built atop the ruins
回收工程
of the Springfield Monorail.
单轨电车单轨电车单轨电车
Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail.
不是不是要修新的单轨电车
No, they're not building a new monorail.
为什么不这个又不会失败
Why not? This one couldn't fail.
不会失败不会失败
Couldn't fail. Couldn't fail.
*这是个可怕的发明*
*It's a monstrous creation*
*用于大批运输*
*Of mass transportation*
语言理疗思
再扔我一次
Throw me again!
我们把这条轨道重新规划成
No, we're repurposing the old monorail track
一个新颖原创的
into a completely new and original feature
从纽约剽窃来的东西
we ripped off from New York:
春田天际线
the Springfield Skypark-Line.
春田天际线从眼中钉到掌中宝
我喜欢这地方
I love this space.
绿化长椅
Planters, benches,
太阳能语♥音♥垃圾箱
solar-powered talking trash cans.
感谢您的已阅黄♥片♥
Thank you for the used porn.
呃我们是
okay, uh, do we go, uh,
面对面还是背对背过去
gut to gut or, uh, butt-butt to nut?
别急用借道牌帮您
Don't worry, we'll use the bypass board.
胖子们吸气
Okay, fatsos, suck it in.
我偷了侯默的三明治
I got Homer's sandwich.
我偷了韦警长的枪
I got Wiggum's gun.
现在为将这次活动推向高♥潮♥
And now, to culminate today's events,
让我们来打开电源
let's turn on the electricity
点亮那个请勿吸烟的小牌子
that illuminates the tiny "No smoking" Signs.
这轨道总算快到头了
Somehow the track is getting juice!
充电中 19%
好现在可以开省电模式了
Yes! Now to put it on power save.
单轨活了
The monorail-- it's alive!
我警告过你别去
I warned you not to...
春田仙人掌圃
欢迎老年人
Welcome, senior citizen.
伦纳德·尼莫伊
再也没有尼莫伊了
No more Nimoy!
春田市政厅单轨电车灾难问询处不准提问
从好的一面来看有了这次灾难
On the positive side, with this disaster,
我们打败了底特律和喀布尔[阿富汗]
we have surpassed Detroit and Kabul
成为全世界最不幸的城市
as the world's most unlucky city.
你们就不能在轮子下放个楔子吗
Couldn't you have at least put little wedges under the wheels?
抱歉甜心但是管理城市
Er, uh, sorry, sweetheart, but running a city
会比美甲更复杂一点
is a little more complicated than getting your nails done.
不需要用你的小脑袋
Don't you worry
来担心这个问题啦
your pretty little head about it.
镇长先生那太性别歧视了
Mr. Mayor, that is so sexist.
听起来某人的束腰有点紧啊
Uh-oh, sounds like someone's girdle is pinching.
都是开玩笑啦
Well, now, it's all in fun.
我可是最尊重女性的
No one respects you ladies more than I.
如果你不介意分一下咖啡和蛋糕
Now if you wouldn't mind serving the coffee and cake,
我们男人就可以专心讨论事情了
we men can get down to business.
这是我最后一次做这种事
This is the last time I'm doing this.
所以我得做到最好
So I better do it perfectly.
给你席大夫
Here you go, Dr. Hibbert.
我简直不敢相信昆毕镇长竟然那样对我说话
I can't believe Mayor Quimby talking down to me like that.
而且女人早就不♥穿♥束腰了
And by the way, women don't wear girdles anymore.
我们都穿弹力束腰裤什么的束身衣
We wear Spanx and other shapewear.
可不是吗
Tell me about it.
人们以为已经过去了
People think we've moved on,
可这世界就跟以前一样性别歧视
but this world is as sexist as ever.
谢了啊奥巴马
Thanks, Obama.
昆毕有啥能耐啊
What's so great about Quimby anyway?
我也能剪彩
I could cut a ribbon.
我还能用巨大的剪刀锋
And I could make it curl nicely
让缎带漂亮地卷起来
using the edge of the giant scissors.
你会成为最棒的镇长妈妈
You'd be a great mayor, Mom.
你很有计划会管预算
You're organized, you manage the budget,
还有多亏老爸你是法♥院♥体系的专家
and thanks to Dad, you're an expert on the court system.
作为被告你不用履行陪审义务
By that, being a defendant gets you out of jury duty.
老妈该我们上场了
Mom, this is our time.
神奇女侠告诉我们如果你是个有超能力的女神
Wonder Woman showed that if you're a goddess with superpowers,
你可以做任何事
there's no limit to what you can do.
你可以成为镇长
You could be mayor!
一个女总理还行
A woman prime minister, okay.
女驱魔人将就
Women Ghostbusters, cool.
美联储女高♥官♥
Woman head of the Federal Reserve,
就我观点这是啥
as far as I'm concerned, what's that?
但一个女镇长
But a woman mayor?
如果妈妈是镇长我们就可以无法无天了
If Mom becomes mayor, we can get away with anything.
救救我耶稣
Help me, Jesus!
站队
Pick a side.
大家去哪了
Where'd everybody go?
卷发染发
亲我们因政♥治♥暂时休业
马姬这个镇子该做出改变了
Marge, this town is ready for a change.
昆毕已经做了很久的镇长了
Quimby has been mayor, like, forever.
你得想想他可能会失去那条绶带
You'd think he could lose that sash.
就像你知道吧
It's like, we know, okay?
好了听着
All right now, listen.
成功的秘诀就是精准打击
The key to victory is micro-targeting.
精准打击
Micro-targeting.
把投票人想象成一个派
Think of the voters as a pie.
是的侯默这儿有人刚刚说了派
Yes, Homer, someone here said "Pie."
我知道香香的派
I know, "Mmm, pie."
抱歉继续
I'm sorry, go on.
我们通过数据分♥析♥把这个派
Uh, we use data analysis to divide the pie
划分成小片
into tiny little slivers
春田镇
给每个小组都定制一条信息
and tailor a message to each micro-group.
你说些他们想听的话直到你的投票数到51%
You just tell them what they want to hear until you get 51%.
然后你尽可像个极右疯子一样管理
Then you can govern like a far-right nut-job.
*我是马姬·辛普森*
*I'm Marge Simpson*
*愿意给我投票吗*
*And won't you vote for me*
乡巴佬目标
*无论你在意什么*
*Whatever your obsession is*
*都是我重要的事*
*Is my priority*
我和你们一起对抗税务官
I stand with you against revenuers.
噢是责难税务官
Oh, uh, durn revenuers!
你是新来的约翰·高尔特是不是
Well, you's the new John Galt, aren't you?
你能帮忙给咱们的艾因·兰德稻草人拍照吗
Hey, can you take a picture with our Ayn Rand scarecrow?
支持率
辛普森33% 昆毕67%
*从窗户到你的午餐盒*
*From widows to your lunch pail Joes*
*还有国外战争的兽医*
*To vets of foreign wars*
稀有宠物主
*我的竞选不会落下*
*There's no single-issue voter*
*任何一个单议题选民*
*My campaign will ignore.*
马姬真的很感谢
Marge, we really appreciate this.
你是第一个与我们这些怪人见面的政客
You're the first politician that's ever met with us weirdos.
稀有宠物主最大的困难是什么
What's the biggest issue you exotic pet owners face?
防止我们的宠物吃掉对方
Keeping our pets from eating each other.
是的作为黑斑羚的主人我