辛普森一家
The Simpsons S29E14
Part 1
Feb. 2, 2020, 11:18 a.m.
《辛普森一家》
第二十九季 第十四集
欢迎来到春田核电站
高贵的心灵使矮小的人变得伟大
昆毕镇长的复活节"寻找彩蛋"活动
这是最后一集了
愚人节快乐
电视剧博物馆
《大淘金》431集
《奥兹哈丽特历险记》435集
《灵犬莱西》547集
《枪烟》635集
《辛普森一家》636集
爸 我们早来了四集
Dad, we're four episodes early.
给你 麦拉 奖杯陈列柜的钥匙
Here it is, Myra-- the key to the trophy case.
要是我们真拿了奖杯
If we'd ever won a trophy,
我绝对会高价转卖♥♥出去
I would've turned the heck out of it.
各类钥匙
您竟然要退休了 先生
I can't believe you're retiring, sir.
马丁 我必须要求你做好保密工作
Martin, I must ask you to keep secret what you just heard--
不能让人知道我马上要退休了
the shocking news that I'm retiring.
先生 我可是学生安保小组长
Sir, you are addressing a student safety monitor.
我胸前的斜跨带就是沉甸甸的责任
With diagonal belt comes great responsibility.
我有秘密要分享 谁要听
I've got a secret! Firsties!
什么
What?!
史金纳要退休了 赌金都归我
Skinner's quitting! I won the pool!
猜猜谁能从iTunes租两首歌♥
Guess who's renting two songs from iTunes!
史金纳要退休了 暴击
Skinner's retiring! Bombardment!
我们会想他的 暴击
He will be missed! Bombardment!
当时他们想禁止暴击 他力挺了我
He stood up for me when they tried to ban bombardment!
暴击
Bombardment!
美国同胞们 还有乌特
My fellow Americans, and Uter:
再见了 史校长
谣言 是真的
the rumors... are true.
我即将卸任校长一职
I'm resigning the principalcy
从墨西哥卷周二开始
effective Taco Tuesday.
西摩 我们会想你的
Seymour, you will be missed.
接下来是请假条天使们的低飞表演
And now, the flyover by the Permission Slip Angels.
我的远视眼
My distance-vision eye.
史金纳要走了 这是向他致敬的最后机会
Skinner leaving. One last chance to honor him.
直接一击爆头
With a shot to the head.
让开
Move it.
快啊 巴仔 快动手
Come on, Bart! Take the shot!
我特么没办法瞄准
I don't have the damn shot!
为了欢送我们的校长退休
Now, in honor of our principal's retirement,
我们请了一位有才华的表演者
we'll have a performance from a super talent
来帮我们调节一下情绪
who's gonna wrap up our feelings.
*无法相信你要离开*
*I can't believe this is good-bye*
*你就像是妈妈戴着领带*
*You were like a mommy who wears a tie*
*你曾让人把我放进网里*
*You once called men who put me in a net*
*也总在我尿裤时告诉我知*
*You always told me when I was wet*
*他们说我得等两年才能练空手道*
*They said I had to wait two years to do karate*
*但我朋友跟我一样大却在上课*
*Even though my friend who is the same age is in the class*
*空手道*
*Karate!*
你这样不太好吧
There's a certain lack of elegance
用"空手道"和"空手道"押韵
in rhyming karate with karate.
空手道
Karate!
我将随机邀请一位同学
Now, I'll share a fond farewell
与我共同完成最后的告别
with one student chosen at random to represent you all.
巴仔·辛普森
Bart Simpson.
神是存在的 他的名字叫魔鬼
There is a God, and his name is the Devil.
巴仔 你过来
Bart, come forward.
借用大卫·鲍伊的最新名言
In the words of the late David Bowie, né Jones:
"改改改改变"
"Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes."
版权所有 《齐格·星尘》专辑发行方
All rights reserved, Ziggy Stardust Publishing.
整到你了
Gotcha!
不 是我整到你了
No. Got you!
快 威利 倒蜂蜜
Now, Willie! The honey!
鸟食
辛普森 我并不打算退休
Simpson, I'm not retiring.
这只是一个针对你的恶作剧
This was all just a prank on you.
别过来了
Leave him alone!
我该去哪里 这件事该如何♥平♥息
Where do I go? How do I live this down?
妈 浴池里的屈辱洗澡水要凉了
Mom, my humiliation bath is getting cold.
别动 你胳肢窝里有蜂蜜
Hold still. You've got honey in your pits.
太粘了
sticky.
暴击
Bombardment!
连音乐老师都欺负我
Oh, Nelsoned by Largo.
我要以牙还牙 以眼还眼
I'll get them back. I'll get them all back.
给这件事彻底画上句号♥
And that'll be the end of it forever.
疯狂胶水
不够好
Not good enough!
深井冰胶水
你要怎么做 巴仔 慢着慢着别告诉我
What are you gonna do, Bart? Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me.
我会做噩梦的
I'll have nightmares,
就像有次我梦见自己白天穿睡衣一样
like the one where I'm wearing my pajamas during the daytime.
你是穿着睡衣啊
You are wearing your pajamas.
我想成为赛车手
Some day I want to be a racecar driver.
你知道有多少人因此死了吗
Do you know how many get killed?
他们没在睡衣上写这个啊
They don't show that on the pajamas!
恶作剧巴仔就是我的毕生心愿
Pranking Bart was my "Sergeant Peppers,"
在这辈子失意过无数次以后
after a lifetime of "Back Off Boogaloos."
什么鬼 辛普森
What the...? Simpson!
报腹[拼错了]
我的皮[谐音Skinner]
My skin!
嘿 布兰丁
Hey, Brandine.
树林里都是可怕的白人
These woods is filled with scary white people.
还有啥新鲜事儿
What else is new?
布下陷阱
Bait the traps.
老娘要件新的人皮大衣
Mama needs a new people coat.
由于这些报复心重的恶作剧者 小丑们
Thanks to one vengeful prankster, clowns--
大灾难难难难
曾经是快乐的源泉 如今却变得异常扭曲
once a source of delight-- have now become more twisted
比他们用惊悚的双手做成的气球动物还扭曲
than the balloon animals they wrap their creepy hands around.
我们只能希望在电视上播出后
We only hope that by showing it on TV,
没有人再出去模仿
no one goes out and copies it.
现在 来说说怎么做吧
Now, let's tell you how it's done.
把你的模仿录像
Send your copycat videos
寄到"肯特疯狂小丑嘉年华卡♥通♥大屠♥杀♥"
to "Kent's Krazy Klown Karnival of Kartoon Karnage."
好了开始
颠倒录像
只拍一次
好了开始
*上下颠倒 里里外外 你能感觉*
* Upside down and inside out, and you can feel it...*
好了开始
不妙 现在人们不得不以音乐评判我们
Oh, no. No. Now people have to judge us by our music.
我们完了
We're doomed.
小丑阿壳录影棚
直播倒计时二十秒
20 seconds to air.
我要说几遍你才能明白
How many times have I told you not to wake me
没到两秒别叫我
till it's two seconds to air?
阿壳 我必须警告你
Krusty, I have to warn you.
人们的态度已经转变了
People's attitudes have changed about...
你们好啊小盆友们
Hey-hey, kids!
冷静 孩子们 我在呢
Calm down, children. I'm here.
没穿衣服的男子 头骨中穿过一根骨头
The shirtless man with the bone through his skull
绿裙子下面啥都没穿
and a grass skirt with nothing down under.
我试着告诉你了
I tried to warn you.
人们现在讨厌小丑
People hate clowns now.
广♥告♥商们现在想见你
And the advertisers want to meet with you.
阿壳自杀表演
没人要看
这到底跟巴仔和恶作剧有什么关系
What is it with Bart and these pranks?
-我不明白 -我也不知道
- I don't get it. - I don't know.
孩子就是孩子嘛
Boys will be boys.
这是我不明白的另一件事
That's another thing I don't get.
啥意思啊 勺子就是勺子嘛
What does that mean? Spoons will be spoons.
但他们不会逼着你早上八点
But they don't make you go to juvenile court
去青少年法庭
8:00 in the morning.
要是抓紧点 我们能吃上玉米煎饼
Yo. If we hurry, we can get those breakfast burritos
-他们在法庭供应 -那很不错啊马姬
- they serve at the courthouse. - Those are good, Marge.
春田青少年法庭现在开庭
?Children's Court of Springfield is now in session.
青少年法庭
孩子们都在这里 未来不在
抱歉 单亲奶爸 没找到看护
Apologies. Divorced dad, no sitter.
辛普森一家
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