辛普森一家

The Simpsons S29E11

Part 2 Feb. 2, 2020, 11:17 a.m.

*So it's all the little foibles*
*是他所有的小缺点*
*That can make a person whole*
*相信PVQ*
*Trust the P.V.Q.*
*灵魂的量尺*
*The yardstick for the soul*
结束
结束才怪
*各位你们都是天才*
*Now, people, you're all geniuses*
-过奖 -天哪谢谢
- Oh, please... - My, my, well, thank you.
*你知道这不是玩笑*
*You can see this is no lark*
*通过情商测试才能上方舟*
*Emotional intelligence is needed for the ark*
*你是说真诚和骄傲*
*You mean earnestness and ego*
*还有玉米卷做的好不好吃*
*And if they make a mean burrito*
*还要有足够的社交礼貌*
*And the social grace to know*
*判断什么时候不该穿迷你泳裤*
*When not to wear a Speedo*
*所有被认为是赢家的性格的部分*
*Every trait that integrates a winning personality*
结束
就快到了
*是的 PVQ*
*Yes, the P.V.Q.*
*能帮助我们了解自己*
*Is what we'll do to find out who*
*看透自己*
*Will see us through*
*是的 PVQ*
*Yes, the P.V.Q.*
*我觉的*
*Is A.O.K.*
*最好用*
*With me...*
耶
Oivik!
有人想唱歌♥反驳吗
Anyone have a song in rebuttal?
*你必须要有颗心*
*You've got to have a heart...*
胡说八道
Oh, balderdash.
我们就用这个人的测试
We're going with this man's test.
-太好了 -来决定谁有资格
- Oh, wonderful. - To determine who is worthy
上我的方舟
of a seat on my ark.
但是先生我们要怎么让全镇人
Uh, but, sir, how do we get everyone in town
在不知道为什么测验的前提下测验呢
to take a test without telling them what it's about?
全市测验强制参加
强制测验
Mandatory test.
强制测验
Mandatory test!
没在摇铃的人都必须参加
Mandatory for everyone not ringing a bell.
这个测验到底是要测什么
What's the point of this test again?
我觉得秘密公♥司♥
The way I look at it, the more things
对我们的了解越多越好对吧
secret corporations know about us, the better, huh?
我喜欢无人机给我送来
I like when drones show up bringing me things
我都不知道我需要的东西
I needed but didn't know.
我确实没有除臭剂了
Wow, I am out of deodorant.
我们都知道
We all knew.
擦掉所有错位标记
Remove all stray marks.
只能用2号♥铅笔
Number two pencil only.
还有看在上帝分上放松
And for God's sake, relax!
这个问题问我的内衣多少钱
This question asks about the price of underwear,
就好像我是什么地主贵族一样
as if I were some landed aristocrat.
我能抄你的吗
Hey, can I copy off you?
随便
Be my guest.
保洁员威利
白天相对于黑夜就像早相对于
"Day is to night as early is to..."
晚耶
Late. Booyah!
耶
Booyah!
耶
Booyah!
就这场考试我没带耳罩
The one test I don't bring my earmuffs.
结果出来了
The results are in.
最新最准确的
The newest and most accurate measure
智商是硬伤
智商测验得分在1-500之间
of our intelligence on a scale from one to 500--
500最高
500 being best.
-无聊 -别关
- Boring. - Don't shut it off.
我想知道我的成绩
I need my score.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在我们将快速滚动所有人的成绩
Now we'll run everyone's scores past the screen really fast,
从最好到最差
from best to worst,
相信大家只在自己的成绩出现时暂停
trusting that you'll pause at only your name.
暂停
Pause it!
丽萨·辛普森 475
475 我的乖乖真棒
475, my sweet spot. Excellent.
但还有上升空间
But room to improve.
拉尔夫·韦根 476
什么我居然比拉尔夫还少一分拉尔夫
What?! I am one below Ralph? Ralph?
亲爱的这并不意味着拉尔夫比你聪明
Honey, it doesn't mean Ralph's smarter than you.
只是说他比你更有价值而已
It just means he's a more valuable person.
-拉尔夫 -继续滚动吧
- Ralph? - Keep scrolling.
马姬·辛普森 311
311分
Ooh, 311.
高于平均水平又不至于惹人妒忌
Above average, but not enough to make people mad.
而且这是投诉电♥话♥的号♥码
And, it's the number you call to complain about potholes.
侯默·辛普森 265
Ooh. "H. Simpson: 265."
侯默·辛普森 265
刚好和一年的天数一样
Exactly the number of days in a year.
真好换台吧
Well, that's good. Let's change the channel.
但还没看到你的分数呢
But we don't know your score.
我说了那挺好
Like I said, that's good.
不在不在不在
Hmm, not there. Not there. Not there.
巴仔·辛普森卢瑟
我不需要测验
I don't need any test.
我有的是生活的智慧
I'm street-smart.
我拒绝接受我的小男子汉没有未来的事实
I refuse to accept that my little guy has no future.
他可以学怎么怎么装计数单
He can learn how to put in adding machine tape.
我就是这么度过忧郁症的
That's how I got through the Depression,
还有让联调局知道是哪个坏孩子要
and letting the FBI know which bugle boys
要去玩黑人爵士乐了
were about to turn boogie-woogie.
我们不会放弃巴仔
We're not giving up on Bart.
我也不会放弃你的侯默
And I'm not giving up on you, Homer.
你居然还没放弃你想怎么做
What, you're still trying? In what way?
我的遗嘱就是针对你长达38页的喊叫
My will is 38 pages of me yelling at you.
遗嘱中有我耶
Ooh, I'm in the will.
查尔斯听我说查尔斯
Charles. Listen to me, Charles.
我现在不想听撒旦
Not now, Satan.
我不是撒旦我是奥逊·威尔斯
I'm not Satan, I'm Orson Welles.
撒旦可没什么耐心
Satan would sell wine before its time.
你有认真对待我的警告吗
Yes. Now, have you taken my warning seriously?
我有啊我已经开始建方舟了
Oh, but I did. I've already started the ark.
很好我得走了
Very good. Now I must go.
上帝让我画一出彩虹
God commissioned me to direct a rainbow,
可我已经花了一半经费在靛蓝色上了
and I've spent half my budget on indigo.
现在只能靠我来出演红色了
The only answer is to play "Red" Myself.
史密瑟斯加快方舟进度
Smithers. Speed up production on the ark.
让所有工人都上
Put everyone on it.
不管他们需要多少朗姆酒和盐
Ply them with all the rum and salt it takes.
朗姆酒盐
脚手架上的小睡真是没得比
Eh, there's no nap like a scaffold nap.
对了你觉得我们在建个啥啊
Hey, what do you think we're building, anyway?
我打赌又是给音乐剧建的新摇滚音乐厅
I'm betting it's a new Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
也许这栋能阻止一些人进去
Maybe this one will keep somebody out.
拉尔夫的分数为什么比我高
How can Ralph score higher than me?
一定一定弄错了
That's-that's just wrong.
可我的自尊都来源于分数
But all my self-esteem comes from tests.
我真的要囿于分数吗
Should I really be pulling on this string?
我可不比拉尔夫差
I am not worse than Ralph!
-你好拉尔夫 -嗨拉尔夫
- Hi, Ralph. - Hi, Ralph.
你好拉尔夫
Hi, Ralph.
你好拉尔夫
Hi, Ralph.
我想念穿过耳朵里的那根弦
I miss the string through my ears.
好吧丽莎
All right, Lisa.
光看着不要评价
Watch, do not judge.
是什么让他更聪明呢
What makes him superior?
脑袋圆头发少
警♥察♥爹不眨眼搭扣鞋
我没事
I'm okay.
欢迎致电韦根家
You have reached the Wiggum residence.
如果拉尔夫被卡在东西里面请按1
If Ralph is stuck in something, press one.
如果东西卡在了拉尔夫里面请按2
If something is stuck in Ralph, press two.
如果是拉尔夫爸爸不在电♥话♥里
If this is Ralph, Daddy is not in the phone.
不要把电♥话♥拆开找我
Do not open the phone looking for me.