再造淑女（2014）

Selfie S01E11

Part 2 Oct. 24, 2020, 9:47 p.m.

I had to vacate my premises unexpectedly this morning.
我今天早上突然需要清空我的住房♥
Vacate your premises?
清空住房♥
Mm-hmm. Listen.
听好了
My electric's off and my rent's due,
我家电费用光房♥租到期
along with an unforeseen security deposit
还有一笔我没有预料到的安全押金
and a "probably should have foreseen" plumbing bill.
还有一笔"也许该预料到"的下水道疏通费
I know you've been there, #TeamCharmonique.
我知道你也经历过这些 #夏莫妮卡小分队
Oh! Don't drag Team Charmonique into this.
别扯上夏莫妮卡小分队
Team Charmonique pays her bills on time.
夏莫妮卡小分队可是按时缴费的
Therefore, Team Charmonique
所以夏莫妮卡小分队
boes not wish to be associated with some broke-ass --
并不希望跟什么破产姐们...产生瓜葛
Hey, I'm not broke. I am not broke.
我没破产没破产
I just find certain things stressful,
我只是发现有些事情压力比较大
like, bills, invoices, payments,
比如账单发♥票♥ 工资
debits, deposits, withdraws, transfers,
债务存款取款转账
checks, money orders, money market, savings,
支票公家支票资金市场存款
interest, account numbers, pin numbers, and prime numbers?
利息账号♥ 密♥码♥ 还有质数
Maybe? What are those, again?
也许吧那是啥玩意来着
Numbers greater than 1
比1大
that are divisible only by themselves and 1.
而且只能被1和它本身除尽的数
#TeamCharmonique.
#夏莫妮卡小分队
Those are fine, but the rest of that stuff
质数没问题了但其他的东西
freaks me the freak out.
都快要吓死我了
You know what doesn't seem to freak you the freak out?
你知道干什么不会吓死你吗
Spending money,
花钱
'cause those boots look brand-new.
你这双靴子看上去蛮新的
They are.
就是新的
You are not wrong.
你说的没错
I really do like spending money,
我的确很喜欢花钱
but now my credit cards are maxed,
可现在我的信♥用♥卡♥都刷爆了
I've got no cash, and, plus...
我也没有现金而且
I'm homeless.
我现在无家可归了
You know whose help you need?
你知道你需要谁的帮助吗
Don't say Steve Harvey. Please, don't say Steve Harvey.
不要说史蒂夫·哈维拜托不要说史蒂夫·哈维
What? Girl, no!
啥妹子不是
I'm talking about your boy Henry Potter.
我是说你的他亨利·波特
Are people calling him that now?
大家现在都这么称呼他了吗
Spread like wildfire this very morning.
今天早上传开的根本停不下来
See?
瞧
I didn't even know that because Henry's not my boy anymore.
我都不知道因为亨利已经不是我的他了
Things got weird between us,
我们的关系变了味
and so my only recourse is to ignore him until one of us dies.
我唯一的办法就是无视他直到我们俩有人先死去
Or you could try being a grown woman.
或者你也可以试像成年人一样
I am a grown woman!
我早就成年了好吧
Then go wash your ass and talk to Henry.
那赶紧洗白白去跟亨利谈谈
#HygieneFirst, #TeamCharmonique.
#卫生优先 #夏莫妮卡小分队
Look at this. "A born leader."
看看天生领袖
"The consummate professional."
完美的专业人士
"Stone-cold stud."
铁面无私猛♥男♥
I'm guessing this one is Larry.
我猜这是拉里写的
Where is it? Come on.
在哪呢快点
I knew it. I knew --
我就知道我就知道
It's not my peers who brought down my average.
拉低我平均分的不是我的同事们
It's my peer.
而是同事
One anonymous peer,
就只有一个匿名的同事
one bitter, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" peer
一个"地狱烈焰不及被拒女人之怒火"的刻薄同事
who gave me an "F" and called me a bit of a poop.
竟然给了我F 还说我是一小坨屎
Who, I ask,
我问你
do you suppose would resort to something so infantine?
你觉得是谁会做出这么幼稚的行为
I have no idea.
我不知道
Well, I do.
我知道
This stinks of Eliza.
这上面散发着伊莉莎的恶臭
I couldn't go to Henry,
我不能去找亨利
who was convinced I tanked his peer review,
因为他确信是我弄砸了他的同事互评
and I couldn't go home, so, that left me no other choice
而我又不能回家所以我别无他选
than to check into a five-star hotel.
只好入住五星级酒店
Oh. Declined. Have another?
被拒了有别的卡吗
Okay. Why don't we try, uh, $10 on a green visa,
好吧不如试试这张绿色的卡刷10块
$15 on the blue visa, maybe 5 bucks on the MasterCard.
蓝色的刷15 银联卡再刷5块
Hold on.
等等
Ma'am, you didn't mention
女士你可没说
that you're a double dollar rewards member. I am?
你是双倍积分奖励会员我是吗
You have more rewards points than anyone I've ever seen. I do?
你的积分比我见过的任何人都多是吗
You could book the presidential suite with all these points.
这些积分都可以订总统套房♥了
Then I will.
那就这么定了
Look at me, the first female president-ial suite.
看看我第一位女总统... 套房♥
Yeah! Baby! Champagne!
宝贝香槟
After hard-core stressing out over money I didn't have,
在因为我没有钱而倍感压力之后
it was time to blow off some steam
是时候放松一下
using money I didn't have.
花一花我没有的那些钱
Cheers.
干杯
Cheers.
干杯
Shit.
该死
Oh, see? Now, this is why I don't look at mail.
这就是为什么我不看信件
So much for hotel living.
酒店生活到此结束
Much like lindsay lohan when she finally got kicked out of Chateau Marmont,
就像林赛·罗韩被赶出马尔蒙庄园酒店一样
it was time for me to make a terrible Liz Taylor biopic
我也该拍一部伊丽莎白·泰勒的糟糕传记片
or find some other, less embarrassing way
或者是找到其他不怎么丢人的方法
to raise some cash for Mr. Old Man.
筹点钱交给老大叔先生
For just $75 cash,
只要75块
this lightly used Sephora gift card can be yours.
这张九♥成♥新丝芙兰礼品卡就是你的了
That's a $50 gift card.
这张卡总共才50块
Yes, but I had to factor in labor.
但我得把人工劳力也算在内
It took me an hour to scrape this off my car's upholstery
我花了一个小时才把这个从车椅套上弄下来
thanks to the pumpkin-spice latte I spilled on the seat.
多亏了我洒在座位上的南瓜香料
Those have been out of season for like three months.
都过季了三个多月了
How about any of these? DSW?
这些呢 DSW
Amazon?
亚马逊
Chili's? AMC theaters?
红辣椒烤肉餐厅 AMC电影院
Two pinkberrys away from getting a free pinkberry...
再买♥♥两支唇膏就可以免费得一支
at participating stores? No!
在指定门店参与活动不要
Look, if you're trying to get some action on these cards,
如果你真想把这些卡卖♥♥出去
you need to offer a discount.
你就得打个折
I'll give you 30 bucks for that $50 Chili's.
那张五十块红辣椒烤肉餐厅卡我给你三十
Done.
成交
Yes!
棒
What up, sexies?
好啊美女们
Hi.
你好
How would you two sexy sexies
你们两位美女
like to buy a Talbots gift card for half its value?
想半价买♥♥一张陶伯礼品卡吗
I gave you that Talbots gift card
那张礼品卡是去年圣诞节
as a secret santa gift last Christmas.
我送给你的神秘圣诞礼物
Spoiler alert. Linda?
你怎么说出来了琳达
No?
你不买♥♥吗
Well, then, uh, d-does anyone want to buy
那你们有人想买♥♥
a hot...new, still-in-style trucker hat?
一顶崭新热辣的卡车潮帽吗
No? Fine.
不买♥♥吗好吧
Well, um, swing by my desk later.
记得一会儿去我办公桌那边
I'm having a bake sale. Whoa. Bake sale.
我要卖♥♥自♥制♥蛋糕呢自♥制♥蛋糕
Bake sale? Is that a euphemism?
卖♥♥自♥制♥蛋糕那是委婉说法吗
I'm not sure.
我也不知道
Raj, I just need you to confirm.
拉杰我只是需要你确认一下
It was Eliza Dooley who wrote that remark about me,
是伊莉莎·杜丽写话诋毁我的
was it not?
对吧
Henry, I'm sorry. I would like to help you.
亨利抱歉我也想帮你
But the evaluation must remain anonymous.
但是同事互评必须匿名
Come on, Raj.
拜托拉杰
It's just you and me here. You're a smart man.
现在只有你我二人你是个聪明人
I know you'll do the right thing.
我知道你会做出正确选择的
Henry, I believe you're trying to intimidate me.
亨利你这是在恐吓我