再造淑女（2014）

Selfie S01E10

Part 1 Oct. 24, 2020, 9:47 p.m.

Most mornings require a double dose
通常每天早上
of celebrity gossip and a triple-shot latte
我需要双倍的名人八卦和连续三杯拿铁
for me to even begin to perk up.
才可以开始打起精神
But today, I didn't need a Miley meltdown
但今天我并不需要麦莉·塞勒斯的崩溃
or a mochaccino.
也不需要摩卡奇诺
I was being fueled by something else entirely.
有一件其他的事给了我全部的动力
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse. Excuse!
抱歉让一下让让让
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
让一下不好意思
Good morning. How are you?
早上好你怎么样
Fine, thanks, and y O.M.G.
很好谢谢你... 我的天
I thought you'd never ask.
我还以为你不会问了呢
I am for reals drunk on feels, and I'm tingling all...over.
我真的真的有了感觉酥酥麻麻思绪不清
It is cold-sore season.
这个季节的确多发感冒疮
No, it is not the herp. It's the heart.
不是细菌是内心
I finally realized
我终于明白了
why it's never gonna happen with Freddy.
我跟弗雷迪永远不会有戏
You mean Freddy the workplace DiCaprio,
你是指办公室版小李子的那个弗雷迪
with the chiseled pecks and the tongue-traceable jawline?
拥有轮廓分明的腹肌和迷人下巴曲线的那位吗
Freddy may be the perfect male specimen,
弗雷迪虽然可能是极品帅哥一枚
but I think my heart belongs to someone else.
但我的心却好像另有所属
Who?
谁
Best not be Frank in the mail room
最好不要是收发室的弗兰克
because I am working my long game on him.
因为我可是对他蓄势待发呢
It is not Frank!
不是弗兰克
It's Henry.
是亨利
As in Henry Henry?
那位亨利亨利吗
His last name is not Henry, but, yes, Henry Henry.
他不姓亨利不过没错就是那位亨利
You're in love with him?
你爱上了他
When he looks at me approvingly,
他赞许地看着我
I get these -- like, these shooting pangs.
看得让我浑身发抖
That could be related to your usage of artificial sweeteners.
那可能是因为你吃了人造甜味剂
Okay.
好吧
What's your probs? I don't have probs.
你有什么不满的我没有不满
You def have probs. Why aren't you happier?
你肯定有不爽为什么你没有更高兴一点
I always assumed you were secretly rooting
我一直以为你在偷偷地
for the two of us to be together.
希望我们在一起
Not really.
并没有
Charmonique.
夏莫妮卡
Are you gonna block this?
你是要开启屏蔽模式了吗
No, do not -- do not block this!
不行不许屏蔽
He has a girlfriend, Eliza!
人家有女朋友的伊莉莎
But they hardly ever see each other.
可他们几乎不见面的
And Henry and I see each other all the time.
亨利跟我可是天天见
Well, then maybe I should be in love with Henry.
那样的话我可能也爱上了亨利
I see him all the time, too.
因为我也跟他天天见面
Okay, straight-up girl code.
好吧朋友夫不可抚
If you have feelings for Henry, I will legit step aside.
如果你对亨利有感觉我就会退出
But if you don't...
但如果你没有...
Charmonique, come on. Support me.
夏莫妮卡拜托支持我吧
Fine.
好吧
I am not into Henry. He is all yours.
我不喜欢亨利他归你了
That is assuming that he feels the same way.
但前提是他得对你有同样的感觉
Only now that Charmonique mentioned it,
夏莫妮卡这么一说
I didn't really know how Henry felt.
我其实并不知道亨利是什么感觉
After I revealed myself to him, he didn't really say much.
我对他展露自己之后他并没说什么
It seemed like all his energy
似乎他用尽了所有的精力
went into trying not to look at my...
来避免去看我的...
Mammaries. I saw them.
乳♥房♥♥ 我看到了
Separately, and then together.
先是分开看到然后一起都看了
It was basically a full-frontal, co-worker-type situation.
基本上就是同事正面全♥裸♥这么个情境
So...naturally, I thought of you.
所以很自然地我想到了你
Me? Raj?
我拉杰
I thought, "Oh, boy, I'd better talk to Raj in H.R. about this."
我心想天呐我最好去找人资部的拉杰聊聊
Did you want to file a sexual-harassment complaint?
你是让我写一封性骚扰投诉吗
No, no, of course not.
不不当然不是
So...A high five, perhaps?
那...击掌庆祝...吗
A high fi-- absolutely not, no.
击掌... 必须不是
I-I just wanted to let you know
我只是想让你知道
that the aforementioned incident was unsolicited
上述意外情况并不是我主动提出来的
and did not unfurl on premises.
也没有继续进展下去
Unfurl?
进展
Still, I thought it best to fully disclose to you, Raj.
但我还是觉得有必要全部告诉你拉杰
Look, Henry, this isn't exactly unprecedented.
亨利这并不是没有先例
What's that?
这是什么
Eliza's inter-office sexual claims binder.
伊莉莎的公♥司♥内部性对象文件夹
Nowadays, we ask that both parties sign a document
如今我们让双方都签一份文件
saying that the relationship is consensual.
说明他们是两厢情愿
And if Saperstein approves the request,
如果萨珀斯坦同意了他们的请求
employees are free to bump uglies.
这两位员工就可以做羞羞的事情了
That's fascinating.
有意思
So, if Eliza has terminated things with Freddy,
如果伊莉莎已经跟弗雷迪终止了关系
I can shred this...
我就可以把这个粉碎了
...and offer you this.
然后把这个给你
Just sign where indicated.
按要求签字
And if all goes well,
一切顺利的话
you could be getting all up in there by lunch Thursday...
你们到了周四午饭时间就可以在一起了
if I put a rush on it.
如果我加急处理的话
Team.
小伙伴们
Who amongst you can tell me what time it is?
谁可以告诉我现在是什么时间
It's 9:33.
9点33分
9:33:03.
9点33分03秒
Don't be so literal, compadres.
不要这么死板同志们
I'm asking what time it is.
我是在问现在到了什么时间
Time to get ill?
该生病了吗
Warmer.
有点戏
It's time for the annual Kinderkare karaoke party!
是金德凯制药年度卡拉OK派对时间
Yes!
太棒了
You earned it, folks!
这是你们应得的各位
We crushed our year-end sales goals.
年末销量超额完成
Stock is up. Ergo...
股票上涨所以...
I think I know what time it is; it's time to get ill.
我知道是什么时间是生病时间
Well said, my sightless friend.
说得好那位看不见的朋友
Henry. Henry.
亨利亨利
Henry? Henry?
亨利亨利
Henry. Psst! Henry. Henry.
亨利亨利亨利
Henry. Eliza's trying to get your attention.
亨利伊莉莎在叫你呢
I bet she wants to lock you down for a duet.
她肯定是想邀你情歌♥对唱
Might I suggest
不如
"Solid as a Rock" by Ashford and Simpson?
夫妻组合的《坚如磐石》怎么样
Feel free to use that one, sir.
你可以唱这首老板我没意见
I'm more of a solo artist.
我更倾向于独唱
What is that supposed to mean?
这是啥意思啊
Folks, please keep in mind that performance is mandatory.
给位请记住每个人必须都要表演
And no one should sing the 1987 pop hit "Wishing Well,"
谁都不许唱1987年的金曲《许愿池》
which I, myself, will be performing...
因为我要亲自唱这一首
as I do every year.
每年必唱曲目
All right. All right
好吧好的
Henry. Henry!
亨利亨利
Eliza. Freddy?
伊莉莎弗雷迪
Can we talk?
能谈谈吗
Did you forget to gel your swoop?
你是不是忘记喷发胶了
Uh, yes. Yes, I did.
是的是的
Oh, my God.
天呐
Truth is I can't gel my swoop, horn my shoes,
实际上我没法喷发胶擦皮鞋
press my shirt, or even get through
整理衬衫甚至连
more than 40% of my Jason Statham workout.
杰森·斯坦森健身课的40%都没做完
I'm starting to lose definition on those groin muscles
我那两条指向下♥体♥的腹股沟肌肉线
that point to my junk.
已经开始消失了
Your adonis belt?
人鱼线吗
Freddy, no.
弗雷迪不要