再造淑女（2014）

Selfie S01E01

Part 2 Oct. 24, 2020, 9:45 p.m.

Good morning. How are you? I was dreading going into work.
早上好我很害怕去上班
So I waited until the coast was clear,
所以我等到人少的时候再去
like Katy Perry's skin on Proactiv.
就像在化妆品广♥告♥里凯蒂·佩里的皮肤
Oh. I missed one.
漏掉了一个
Good morning, and how are you?
早上好你好吗
Did you hear? No.
你听说了吗没有
B.F. B.S... Got played like "Flappy bird".
男友是混球被他像小鸟一样玩弄
Mortified.Com.
丢死人.com
Then hurled, overslept, O.D.'d on the bean,
吐满身睡过头豆子吃多了
contracted legit hamster breath. Ugh.
现在嘴里都是火腿味
And now I'm hella-late for the staff meeting.
现在员工大会要迟到了
Okay. Well, have a nice day.
好吧祝你一天愉快
I was praying the whole company had forgotten about my epic fail...
我祈祷着全公♥司♥已经忘记了我出的大洋相
Or, at the very least, was willing to make like Elsa and "Let it go."
或者至少把我当作艾莎一样就随他吧
All right, everybody, settle down.
好大家静一静
Bring it home, everybody. Beautiful. Good.
安静各位很好
Now, as you all know, this company took a Major hit
大家都知道公♥司♥经历过一些挫折
when our best-selling pediatric nasal spray
卖♥♥得最好的儿童鼻腔喷♥剂♥
was pulled from the shelves for causing satanic hallucinations.
因为能引起不好的幻觉而被迫下架
Ah, allegedly.
只是据说能引起幻觉
"Allegedly" Is right.
据说没错
Nonetheless, the product was recalled and reformulated.
不管怎样产品被召回更改配方
But whether or not we could regain the market's trust was...
至于能不能赢回市场信任
TBD.
还悬而未决
But now, thanks to one man,
现在由于有了一个人
it's a big, fat "D"!
这事已经板上钉钉了
Henry, you loon, get up here! Come on, Henry!
亨利好家伙快来快
Come on. Yeah!
快来
We love this guy.
超爱他
Don't worry... I'm not gonna make out with you.
别怕我不会非礼你的
I'm not gonna make out with you.
不会非礼你的
I lied about that.
我说谎了
You know, I read an article
我看到一篇文章说
that said Asian men are more comfortable kissing on the mouth as a sign of friendship.
亚洲男人把亲嘴当成是友谊的体现
They're not, no. Mm.
并不是
All right, well, I'll forward it to you.
好吧我转给你看看
Thank you. It's good.
谢谢写得挺好的
Folks, this man did the impossible.
各位他完成了不可能的任务
He took a product whose reputation had been badly tarnished
他把一个名誉尽毁的产品
and rebranded it
重新包装
as a product that consumers could once again love and trust.
让消费者重新爱上并信任这个产品
Okay, if that dude in the vest could remarket our nasal spray,
如果那个马甲男能够重新推广我们的鼻腔喷♥剂♥
he could definitely remarket me.
那他肯定也能把我重新推广一番
And I love and trust you.
我也爱你信任你
I love and trust you, too, sir. Yeah. Yeah.
我也爱你信任你先生很好
Take a moment.
借一步说话
You're, uh, coming to my daughter's wedding this weekend, right?
我女儿周末婚礼你来吧
Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world, sir. Good. Good.
肯定不会错过的先生很好
Bring a date.
带个伴
You're always alone. It's kind of weird.
你总是一个人有点奇怪
I wouldn't call it weird. It is. It is.
我不觉得奇怪是很奇怪
What are you doing in my office?
你在我办公室干什么
I'm Eliza, I work in sales,
我叫伊莉莎销♥售♥部的
and it recently came to my attention that I have poor instincts,
我最近发现我直觉很烂
a weak stomach, no real friends, and...
肠胃不好没有朋友还有…
Loose sexual morals?
性道德散漫
Have we met?
我们见过吗
If they make you EVP, I'm gonna murd...
如果他升你做执行副总我就杀了…
Oh, sorry. I see you have company.
抱歉你这还有别人啊
She was just leaving.
她正要走呢
No, I wasn't.
不我不走
I'm not leaving until you say you'll help me.
你不答应帮我我就不走
But you can't be helped.
可你已经无药可救了
You are addicted to the instant gratification
你沉迷于那些你称为"好友"
of unearned adulation from a group of perfect strangers
但其实只是陌生人对你的谄媚
you insist on referring to as your "Friends."
给你带来的本能的满足
Our nasal spray caused satanic hallucinations,
我们的鼻腔喷♥剂♥能引起幻觉
and you fixed that.
你都搞定了
Come on. I just want to change my image.
拜托我只是想改变形象
You mean be a better person?
你是说成为更好的人
Or that.
那样也行
Look, I'm not trying to, like, tug at your heartstrings or whatever,
我并不是想说这些来博取同情
but I threw up really hard.
但我真的吐得很厉害
Like, my abs still hurt from throwing up that hard.
到现在腹部还疼呢
And I don't know if either of you have ever thrown up that hard... #thestruggle.
不知道你们俩有谁像那样吐过 #挣扎
But it really makes you think.
但这真的让我觉得
Makes you think what?
觉得什么
I'm genuinely dying to know.
我真是迫不及待想知道呢
When I was sick, not one person called to see if I was okay,
我难受时没有人打电♥话♥过来问候
and I don't know why.
我不知道为什么
People used to hate me because I was butt.
人们以前恨我因为我丑[也有屁♥股♥之意]
Butt-ugly... aesthetically challenged.
丑不美观
But I'm not butt anymore.
但现在我不丑了
Eliza, I'm sure you're aware
伊莉莎你肯定知道
it is possible to be beautiful on the outside and still...
人是有可能外表美丽但是
butt on the inside.
内心丑恶
Like Gwyneth Paltrow.
比如格温妮丝·帕特洛[演员]
Okay, you need to go.
好吧你还是走吧
What? No. No, please.
什么别别啊
Look, I know. I know you don't like me.
我知道你不喜欢我
But if you don't like me,
但如果你不喜欢我
then just change me.
那就改造我吧
Just change me.
改造我吧
I don't like you.
我的确不喜欢你
But I can change you.
但我可以改造你
Okay, please tell me you're not actually considering this.
别告诉我你想来真的
If we change your packaging... Her "Packaging"?
改换包装包装
Alter her formula. She's not a pharmaceutical product.
更改配方她又不是药品
And yet, the same principles apply.
但同样的原则也适用
If we just... if we soften her palette,
让她变得清新淡雅
improve her... taste, expand her market,
提升品位拓展市场
I can transform this... vapid...
我可以把一个讨厌无趣的
despised social-media-obsessed narcissist
社交控自恋狂
into a valued and respected woman of stature.
改造成高贵优雅的窈窕淑女
Like Linda.
就像琳达一样
Like Linda.
就像琳达一样
Only prettier.
只不过要比她好看
The next day, we got right to work.
第二天我们直接开工
I'll need your implicit trust.
你需要赢取信任
That means you do anything and everything I say,
也就是说不论我怎么说你都得照做
even if it seems unorthodox.
即使有些听起来不太正统
Totally, just no backdoor stuff.
没问题别搞后面就行
Okay, that... that's... come here.
好吧过来
That's another thing...
那是另外一回事
you mustn't misinterpret my professional interest
你肯定是误把我对你的专业兴趣
as romantic interest
当成了浪漫性趣
because, I assure you, there isn't any.
我告诉你我对你没性趣
Oh, got it. Got it.
明白了
We're just friends.
我们只是朋友而已
We're not... we're not friends.
我们不是朋友
And it's important to me that you acknowledge that.
而且你要承认这点这对我很重要
Fine. We're not friends, and you're a gay dude.
好我们不是朋友你是个基佬
I'm... I am not a gay dude.
我不是基佬
Just go about your day as you normally would.
像平常一样开始你的一天吧
Good morning. How are you? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
早上好你好吗我的天呐
That bald dude from the 12th floor took total fart blanche in the elevator,
12楼的那个秃头在电梯里放了个大臭屁
so if you catch a whiff of something,
如果你闻到什么味
it's residual him... not me. LOL.
是他不是我 233
May I point something out? Yeah.
我能说几句吗好
Every day, you greet Eliza, do you not?
你每天都跟伊莉莎打招呼对吗