杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S04E21
Part 1
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:32 p.m.
Coach and May are fighting. We don't want to disturb them.
教练和梅在吵架 我们不想打搅他们
They're not fighting.
他们没有在吵架
I know how to read body language. Look.
我能读懂身体语言的 你看
Her arms are crossed in a position of dominance,
她双手交叉 趾高气扬
and he's playing his forehead like a piano.
而他的手在额头上弹钢琴
Will you clowns focus?
能听我说吗
My waffle is in the toaster,
我的华夫饼在烤箱里
and if I wait too long after it pops,
烤好以后等太久的话
it'll get hard.
会硬掉的
Look, I know about relationships.
我很懂情感关系的
Winston can vouch for me.
温斯顿可以给我作证
That girl, KC, just texted him,
那个妹子 KC 刚给他发信息说
"What's up?"
"你好啊"
That riddler. So I had him text back
那个不说人话的 于是我让他回了
an empty bubble.
一条空白短♥信♥
Is he thinking about her? Or is a baby playing with the phone?
是他在想她呢 还是小宝宝在玩手♥机♥发的呢
She don't know, but she want to know.
她不知道 但是她想知道
There she is. There she is.
她过来了 她过来了
Morning. Hello. How do?
早啊 你好 你好啊
Oh, someone left a waffle in the toaster.
烤箱里有块华夫饼
Bye, guys.
拜拜 伙计们
Man, this waffle had better be hot
最好别凉了
or I am going Durst on y'all.
不然我砍死你们
Hey... Coach. Why...
教练 为什么
Jess, are you talking like that?
杰茜你要这样说话
She thinks you and May are fighting.
她觉得你跟梅在吵架
No, we're not fighting.
不 我们没有吵架
We did break up, though.
不过我们确实分手了
Oh, my God, I knew it.
天哪 我就知道
I mean, I'm so sorry. What happened?
我是说 太遗憾了 发生了什么
May accepted a job in New York
梅接受了一份纽约的工作
as a section musician for the MET.
为大都市艺术博物馆慈善舞会伴奏
Oh, has Alan taken a liking to her? Oh, bravo.
阿兰选上她了吗 太厉害了
Good for... You know, I've always been a fan of his.
真好 你知道我一直是他的粉丝的
When he conducted, uh, Das Rheingold
他指挥的《莱茵的黄金》
with the Royal Stockholm Orchestra, it was magnificent.
皇家斯德哥尔摩管弦乐队演奏的 简直壮观
Jar or slap? I don't have any cash on me.
给钱还是扇耳光 我身上没钱
Good slap. Are you okay?
扇得漂亮 你没事吧
Do you want to talk about it?
想谈谈分手的事吗
No, I'm good. Yeah. I'll miss her, but...
不用 我很好 我会想念她的 不过
we're still friends. We're cool.
我们还是朋友 我们没事
I'm cool. Cool. All right.
我没事 那就好 好吧
He is not good.
他一点都不好
Winston, get back here!
温斯顿 快过来
We need to powwow about May and Coach!
我们得挽救梅和教练的爱情
Winnie's gonna need a minute.
温尼想静静
What are you reading? What is...
你在读什么呢 什么...
One Woman's Journey Up Inside Herself?
《一个女人的内心之旅》
It's really inspiring. I actually want to be
真的很激励人 我很想成为
the woman in this book.
书里这个女人
"Finding inner strength in a time of crises."
"在危机时刻发现自己的意志力"
Cece, are you in crises?
希希 你遇到危机了吗
I'm fine. Cece's fine.
我没事 希希可好了
How are you? How's Fawn holding up?
你呢 福恩怎么样
If you must know, my paramour Councilwoman Fawn Moscato
我的爱人福恩·莫斯卡托议员在那意外之后
has been so strong since the incident.
一直相当坚强
You know, reporters are calling it Panty-Gate.
记者们把那叫做内♥裤♥门
There's pictures of her naked lady-bottom
网上到处都是她
all over the Internet.
下♥体♥的裸照
Sid, put the phone away.
希德 把手♥机♥拿开
You picked it up right when I said "Naked lady-bottom."
我一说"下♥体♥的裸照"你就掏手♥机♥出来了
Please. You guys are good, then?
拜托 那你们俩很好咯
You know, 'cause the last time we spoke,
因为上次我们聊天的时候
you said you were feeling a little, you know, used.
你说你觉得有点 被利用了
Well, not anymore. We're a team now.
现在没有了 我们现在组成了战队并肩作战
Fawn and Schmidt.
福恩和施密特
Fawmidt.
福密特
Vomit? No, Fawmidt.
呕吐 不 是福密特
You're saying the word "Vomit."
你说的明明是"呕吐"
No, I don't hear that, but okay.
没有 我没有听到 好吧
Fawn's holding a press conference later today,
福恩今天晚些时候要开一个新闻发布会
and I don't mean to toot my own shofar,
我并不是想要自吹自擂
but I'll be standing there right by her side.
但我会站在她身侧
So this scandal is actually bringing you two closer together.
所以这起丑闻反倒让你俩更亲密了
Team Fawmidt has never been stronger.
福密特队从未像现在这般强大过
I heard it there.
我听到了
Wow, that sounds exactly like "Vomit."
听起来真的跟"呕吐"发音一样
That's a problem.
这确实是个问题
"Roughly the same length as The Pearl."
"与《珍珠》篇幅相当"[美国短篇小说]
How is that a pull quote?
这算什么醒目引文
And that...
这就是
is how babies get made.
小宝宝诞生的过程
It's gross, right?
很恶心 对吧
How does the sperm find the egg?
精♥子♥是怎么找到卵子的
Propelled by its tail,
在它尾巴的推进下
the sperm travels up the canal until it reaches the egg.
精♥子♥沿着小道一路向上直到遇到卵子
Now, for us, it's only a couple of inches,
对我们来说只是几英寸的距离
but for Mr. Sperm there
但对精♥子♥先生来说那可是
it's miles away.
几英里的漫漫征途
Miles and miles and miles away.
漫漫征途啊
It's almost like...
差不多就是
why would the egg want to be so far away from the sperm?
为什么卵子要离精♥子♥那么远呢
You know? Like, didn't the egg and the sperm
难道卵子和精♥子♥在一起
have a great time together?
没有度过一段美好的时光吗
And then you're just gonna pack your bags and leave
接着你就那么收拾行囊转身离去
and go to New York?
奔赴纽约
To play music with some other sperm.
去跟别的精♥子♥嬉戏奏乐呢
You're just-just gonna leave? You're gonna leave your sperm
你就那么一走了之 就那么离开你的精♥子♥
and go play music with other sperms?
去跟别的精♥子♥嬉戏奏乐吗
And I'm cool with that! I'm cool with that!
我欣然接受 我一点意见没有
You know, I got eggs. I have eggs on deck!
我有很多卵子 备胎们早就准备好了
This sperm got swag. All those other sperms
这个精♥子♥被抛弃了 其他所有精♥子♥
ain't got swag like me. Can any other sperm
都不会像我这样被抛弃 别的精♥子♥
sport this much green and still look dope? No!
能绿成这样却依然这么酷吗 不可能
That ain't tight! This is tight!
那个不重要 这个才重要
This is tight!
这个才重要
I just want you to come back, and I...
我只想让你回来 我...
I guess I chose the wrong day to observe Health.
看来我选错日子视察生理卫生课了
I miss her!
我想她
May!
梅
Listen, thanks for standing next to me up there, Ponyboy.
谢谢你愿意和我一起 小种马
I hope this show of remorse
我希望这场悔过的戏码
will keep these reporters off my back.
能让这些记者放过我
Oh, I know it will. And then, you know what,
我知道它会的 你知道吗
once this is over, maybe we get out of here
等这事结束了 或许我们就可以离开这
for a little bit. Lay low,
一段时间 隐姓埋名
rent a cabin in the woods,
在树林里租个小屋
read some poetry, have horizontal sex.
读读诗 做做♥爱♥
Okay, two of those three things sound like fun.
好 其中两件事听起来挺有趣的
Now, here's your statement
这是你的声明
in case you're asked any questions.
以防他们问你问题
I'm not gonna need a statement. I'm a seasoned improviser.
我不需要声明 即兴演讲我可是经验丰富
Hey, guys. We're the Belly Laughs.
大家好 我们是贝利搞笑团
So, I need a location. How about fat camp?
我需要个地点 减肥训练营怎么样
That's adorable. But just, please, read what I wrote.
很可爱 但请把我写的读出来
I will. But I'm not gonna do it until I get out there.
我会的 但我要出去才读
You're gonna want me in the moment for this.
这种时刻 你需要我
Okay.
好
Good afternoon.
下午好
Um, before I answer any of your questions,
在我回答你们的问题之前
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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