杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S04E16
Part 3
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:31 p.m.
Where's the famous Mr. Geauxinue?
大名鼎鼎的查金尼先生呢
Um... well...
那个
actually, um, Ryan...
其实 瑞恩
had to cancel last-minute, so he's not coming.
临时取消了行程 所以他没来
I'm so sorry.
太遗憾了
Oh, honey...
宝贝儿
that's just awful.
真糟糕
Damn men.
臭男人
Oh, I feel so bad for you.
我真为你难过
Hey, Mom... Mom... Oh, honey...
那个 妈妈 小宝贝
don't get emotional, okay?
不要伤感 好吗
'Cause if you get emotional, I'll get emotional.
如果你伤感 我也会伤感
Let's talk about happy stuff.
我们来聊聊开心的事
Did you guys see the video of
你们看了那个
the panda farting and falling of a branch?
讲熊猫放屁从树上摔下来的视频了吗
Pretty crazy, man. It was funny. It was funny.
太魔性了 好有趣 好有趣
It made me laugh.
笑死我了
Who wants scramblies?
谁想吃好吃的
You know I do, Mom.
我想 妈妈
Good.
好吧
Look, this might not be the right time to say this,
现在说这个可能不是时候
you guys, but, uh,
但是
should we take a straw poll
在这件科斯比式的事情上
on this whole Cosby thing?
我们是不是应该民♥主♥投票
I just want to clarify
我想对所有人
to everyone here that I am fine.
说清楚 我没事
Which is why I'm fine.
所以我也没事
Great! Yeah.
那就好 是呀
Finer than fine. Mm-hmm.
好得不能再好了
Which is why I'm fine. Fantastic!
所以我也没事 很好
I'm fine, too. Everybody's great. Perfect.
我也没事 大家都好 好极了
I'm not fine!
我不好
I can't do this anymore.
我再也装不下去了
It's not all smiles and sunshine.
这不是什么笑容和正能量
It's not!
这不是
Look, Ryan bailed and that's a dick move.
瑞恩爽约的行为太混♥蛋♥了
And that's the truth.
这就是事实
I'm fine, I'm just gonna go to my room.
我没事 我去自己房♥间
I made scones.
我做了烤饼
Was that sunshine or smiles? Hmm?
这叫正能量和笑容吗
Joanie...
琼
I don't want to lie to you, so I'm not--
我不想也不打算骗你
there's shells all in these eggs.
鸡蛋里还有壳呢
So, Joan, how do you, uh, feel about Bob getting remarried?
琼 你怎么看鲍勃再婚这事
Mm! Oh, I'm fine.
我没事
I just feel bad for Ashley.
只是有点替阿什莉不值
I mean, let's just say
这么说吧
he's a man with a healthy appetite,
他倒没有什么不良爱好
except one thing.
除了一件事
Well, that's a visual.
可以想象
I don't really have a burning desire
我倒没有很强烈的
to stick around for the wedding,
婚礼情结
so I'm going on a trip with some friends.
所以我准备跟朋友们去旅行
A trip I've never taken before.
一趟我从未体验过的旅程
Hey! You mind if I turn this down?
介意我调低点音量吗
"AP Stat Jams."
"预科统计学"
Advanced Placement.
伪装成预科的磁带
Very smart.
真机智
How many Lilith Fairs did you go to?
你去过多少场莉丝丝音乐节
Oh, Method Man performed at that one?
曼斯德·曼也参加这场了
It's Liliths Fair.
是莉莉丝音乐节
Like "Passersby..."
就像"过路人"
or "Attorneys general."
或者"检察长"
Well, look, I came to, uh... give you this.
我来是为了...给你这个
Text Ryan as much as you want, it's none of my business.
想给瑞恩发短♥信♥就发吧 不关我的事
I just think long-distance relationships suck.
我只是觉得异地恋糟透了
I once broke up with a woman who lived in Irvine,
我之前和一个住在尔湾市的人分手了
and that's only 30 minutes away.
才三十分钟的车程而已
Mind you, I had hornets living in my car at the time,
当时我车里住着只大黄蜂
which was a factor,
也是其中一个原因
but the commute was also a big part of it.
但主要的还是沟通问题
Well, look, Nick, we're different,
听着 尼克 我们不同
and just because it's difficult with Ryan,
虽然和瑞恩在一起很难
doesn't mean we're doomed.
但不代表我们完蛋了
We're star-crossed lovers.
我们是牛郎织女
We're like Kate and Leo...
就像凯特和小李子[《铁达尼号♥》男女主演]
or... Claire and Leo, or...
或者是克莱尔和小李子[《罗密欧朱丽叶》男女主演]
whatever blonde Leo is taking on boats.
随便被小李子带上船的金发女郎
They're all doomed.
他们都玩完了
Leo ain't gonna settle down-- he ain't ready.
小李子不会安定下来的 他还没准备好
I'm a hopeless romantic, and I always have been.
我无可救药的浪漫主义 我一直是这样
Which is why...
所以为什么...
I mean, it's a nice notion, it's just...
这种主义也不错 只是...
...from 1994 to 2001,
从1994到2001
I believed that Jordan Catalano
我相信乔丹·卡塔拉诺[《达拉斯买♥♥家俱乐部》男配]
was gonna show up in my driveway
会突然出现在我家门口
after a dirt bike accident,
因为刚刚骑越野自行车时发生意外
all scruffy and... beautiful...
全身泥泞不堪又...惊艳绝伦...
and he would need a bath and some...
想来洗一个澡和一些...
medical attention.
医药处理
You think that little boy is driving a dirt bike?
你觉得那小男孩会骑越野自行车
He looks a lot like you.
他长得和你很像
That's me, that's Jordan Catalano.
那就是我 这个是乔丹·卡塔拉诺
I honestly couldn't tell the difference.
我是真的没看出区别
I swear to God. I'm not trying to be mean.
发誓不是故意埋汰你的
You know what the problem with Jordan Catalano is?
你知道乔丹·卡塔拉诺有什么问题吗
Yeah-- an undiagnosed learning disability.
知道 未确诊的学习障碍
Oh, I didn't know the boy had mental problems--
我不知道他还有精神问题
I wouldn't be teasing him, but...
我不会嘲笑他的 但...
No, it's that he's fake.
不 因为他是假的
The only thing that matters
唯一重要的事
is if the guy is there for you when you need him.
是这个人在你需要的时候可以在你身边
Otherwise, you're dating a wall.
否则 你就在跟墙约会
I have to get to my dad's wedding.
我得去爸爸的婚礼了
I didn't come in here trying to be harsh, I'm ju...
我来不是想凶你 我只是...
I was trying to be helpful and it's not working and I apologize.
想来帮你 如果没帮到 我道歉
I was coming in as a friend, Je...
我是以朋友的身份来的 杰...
I'm sure that's just her.
我肯定那是她
Well, the dream's dead.
梦想破灭
Apparently, Jake Apex has to work,
杰克·艾派克得去工作
so he's not gonna come to the wedding.
所以来不了婚礼了
I'm wearing the craziest underwear for nothing.
我这套最疯狂的内衣白穿了
Okay, look, Cece, you know what we do? We regroup.
希希 我们应该怎么做 应该重组
No, it's fine, Schmidt. I'm over it.
没事 算了 施密特 我不想了
It is not fine.
不能算了
Look, Cece, you're the most amazing woman I ever met.
希希 你是我见过最不可思议的女人
If you want Jake Apex,
如果你想要杰克·艾派克
I'm gonna help you get Jake Apex.
我就帮你得到杰克·艾派克
I'm never gonna stop trying to make you happy, Cece.
我会永远努力地让你开心的 希希
I promise you, for the rest of my...
我保证 我这辈子...
Oh, look at that, it's Fawn.
瞧瞧 是福恩
Hello, Councilwoman Moscato.
你好 莫斯卡托女议员
Guys!
同志们
I forgot the rings at the house.
我把戒指忘在家里了
They're in my purse in my room.
在我房♥间里的手袋里
And now I have to go get my dad ready.
现在我得帮我爸爸准备好
Apparently, he's wearing some kind of a male corset.
他要穿一件什么男用束腹
All right, Coach and I will get the rings...
好的 我和教练去取戒指...
You don't have a car.
你们没车啊
All right. Okay.
好吧 走
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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