杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S04E04
Part 3
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:26 p.m.
he called a scotch on the rocks a Sko Ro. Ooh, that hurts.
他管加冰的威士忌叫威士柔 真是够了
I can't date him for a month--
一个月我肯定做不到
like, I can't even spend like, five minutes with him.
我甚至连跟他待在一起五分钟都受不了
Yeah. So you have to let me out of the bet, please.
我明白 所以你得撤销赌约 拜托了
You're saying a lot of words, but all I'm hearing is,
你说了这么多 我听到的只有一句
"He's too small."
"他太小了"
No. It's not because of that. He has a...
不 跟那个没关系
he has a tattoo that just says "Warrior Poet."
他有个文身 写着"战争诗人"
Sounds to me like you're being pretty shallow, Jess.
在我看来是你做人太肤浅了 杰茜
No. He tipped the waiter with a sketch of a hip-hop mouse.
不是 他给服务员的小费是嘻哈鼠标的素描
He did? Yes!
真的吗 对啊
That's incredible.
太了不起了
What's up, man? What's up, man?
你好 兄弟 你好
Do you mind my if I graffiti your bathroom?
你介意我在这里的洗手间涂鸦吗
I want to paint a skylight
我想在地上画一个天窗
on the floor that looks into hell.
天窗外是地狱
Oh... no, that's okay. I'd prefer if you didn't.
是吗 还是算了吧 心领了
Are you sure? I'm positive.
你确定吗 很确定
Okay.
好吧
He's wearing skinny jeans.
他穿着紧身裤
They fit him like sweatpants.
却像穿着运动裤一样自如
Thinking of asking this lovely lady on a second date?
想着再约这位美女出来吗
No diggity, no doubt.
那当然了
We can go speaker shopping, drink some Sko Ros,
我们可以去淘淘音响 喝点威士柔
if that's where the rhythm takes us...
跟着感觉走
Um, unfortunately, I will be
很遗憾 我下个月
out of town for the next month.
应该都不会在这里
Oh, for trues? Yeah, for trues.
真的吗 对 真的
Hello. This drink is for you, from those gentlemen over there.
你好 那边的几位先生给你点了一杯酒
You the man.
兄弟喝一个
Skol!
干
Do you know those bros? Nope.
你认识他们吗 不认识
Anyway, I'm gonna be out of town for a month,
我整个月都不在城里
but, uh, we can go out on another date, perhaps when I'm back.
不过我们可以再一起出去玩 等我回来吧
Technically, our, um, one-month anniversary.
可以在我们认识一个月纪念日的时候
Jess, you're not going away for a month.
杰茜 你不用离开一整月的
She keeps forgetting that that got canceled. You're available.
她老是忘记 活动已经取消了 你有空的
No, but you keep forgetting it was rescheduled.
是你记错了 活动又重新安排了
You weren't on the e-mail.
邮件你没收到而已
Okay. That doesn't sound for trues. For true.
行吧 这话听着真够假的 我说真的
You're not really going out of town, are you?
你不是真的需要离开吧
Oh, gosh. Uh, Matt...
天哪 马特
If I'm being honest, I don't think we should go on a second date.
说实在的 我觉得我们不用再见了
I get it. Yeah.
我理解 对
It's because of my micropenis. No!
是因为我的微型阴♥茎♥症 不是
I looked it up and I-I actually feel like I could make that work.
我查了 我觉得其实还是能用的
No, it's...
不是 是说...
Don't take this the wrong way, but...
不要误会我的意思
it's actually your personality and everything about you.
但实际上是你的性格和你这个人
You think I'm a douche bag.
你觉得我很混♥蛋♥
You said that you thought street art was the closest thing
你说过你觉得街头艺术是流浪汉们
to an education homeless people would ever get.
能得到的最好的教育了
Okay. And I when I asked you, "Is that a joke?" You said...
对啊 我问你是不是在开玩笑 你说
Your mom is a joke. Yeah. You said, "Your mom is a joke."
你妈才是个笑话 对 你说"你妈才是个笑话"
Right? That's kind of a douchey response.
是吧 这还不混♥蛋♥吗
I'm really sorry.
我真的很抱歉
I mean, I've been made fun of my entire life--
我一直以来都被人嘲笑
in school, in locker rooms--
在学校 在更衣室
so, yeah, I can be a douche bag sometimes.
的确 我有时候是挺混♥蛋♥的
But I'm this way...
但是 我会变成这样
because of my micropenis.
都是因为我的微型阴♥茎♥症
Later.
再见
Radiant. Yes, yes.
光芒四射 太好了
You don't even need this bounce board.
你根本不需要这块反光板
You're making your own light, man. No doubt, no doubt.
你自己就在散发光芒 这还用说
Winston, you getting this? Oh, hell, yeah, dude.
温斯顿 你拍好了吗 好了 老兄
I'm getting all of this.
我已经全都拍下来了
Flawless. Yeah, there you go. All right.
完美无缺 是的 就是这样
Now give me some stuff like it's the first day of school, right?
来一个 第一天上学的样子吧
Okay. That's right, and you got your backpack on.
好的 没错 背上小书包
Yeah, there you go.
对 做得好
But you packed your own lunch.
你自己做了午饭
But what you don't know is when you were making it,
但你不知道的是 在你做午饭的时候
you got some mustard on your forehead.
额头上不小心沾了一点芥末
That's right.
就是这样
Now you're playing Pictionary, okay?
现在你在玩看图说话的游戏
Now you're playing Pictionary, and what do you...
你在玩看图说话 那你要怎么...
Ooh, now I got... now I got my little card. What am I gonna draw?
我拿到一张小卡片 我要怎么表达呢
What am I gonna draw? You get sardines.
我要怎么表达 是沙丁鱼的卡片
They don't smell good. How do I draw a smell?
好臭的哦 我要怎么表达出臭味呢
How do I draw a smell? What does that look like?
怎么表达出臭味呢 会是什么样的呢
That's modeling. That's right.
这才是模特 就是这样
Wow, this is great. Hey, give me five. I got to proteinload.
棒极了 休息一下 补充一下蛋白质
What do you see we split that last packet of Power Goo.
我们把最后这组照片用变脸软件处理下吧
I cannot believe that this actually worked.
不敢相信他们居然信了
Oh, man... No, that's a lie
天哪 不对 那是假的
I would've been surprised if it didn't.
如果他们不信 我才会惊讶
A classic Cece-Winston Mess Around.
经典的希希与温斯顿大捣蛋
That's not a thing. All right.
没这玩意儿 好吧
So, guys, I was looking at the shots here,
我刚刚在看照片
and they're really incredible.
都拍得非常好
I think I could call my modeling agent, if you want.
如果你们想的话 我就打电♥话♥给经纪人
I know this... we're-we're, like,
我知道这是... 我们就是
just doing this for fun and everything,
我们只是玩玩 瞎胡闹
but part of me wants that to happen
但是我的内心深处
more than anything else in the whole wide world.
真的好希望能够成真啊
No, but my agent probably would only want one of you,
但是我的经纪人可能只会选一个人
and you guys are a team, so I shouldn't call.
但是你们俩是组合 我还是别打了
Hold on. You don't want to be rude to the man.
等等 你不想要让他为难
No, no, no, no, no. We don't want to see you guys
不不不 我们不希望
pitted against each other.
你们成为竞争对手
PPitted against each other? What are you talking about?
竞争对手 你们在说什么
I think, you know...
我觉得...
I'm more runway. He's more...
我更适合走梯台 而他更...
Yeah, I feel like I'm more catalog, ...catalog,
对啊 我更适合做平面模特 平面模特
high fashion. back of the mag.
高端时尚 杂♥志♥目录
You're t... you're too big for high fashion.
你太壮了 不适合高端时尚
Also, my agent really loves piggyback shots, so...
我经纪人还很喜欢坐在肩上的照片
We should piggyback. We'll piggyback right now.
我们应该拍 我们现在就拍
Let me get on, man. You get on me.
让我上去 你到我肩上来
I didn't know you guys had it in you. I want to be on the bottom.
都不知道你们肯呢 让我在底下
Let me be on the bottom. Yeah, yeah, you're a little piggy.
让我在底下 你这个小肩膀哟
Bottom's my game, dude. No, me...
下面才是我的底盘 不要 我
You went to the market. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
你们去市场喽 很好很好
Little piggy went to the market. Just let me...
猪小弟去市场喽 让我...
Damn it. Oh, yeah.
可恶 很好
No.
不要
It's like shooting candy into a baby.
就好像把糖果丢给小孩
That's it. That's it. Yeah, give me that. Give me that!
很好 很好 就这样 就这样
I could... I could... I can totally dig this.
我很...很喜欢这样
Hey, Jess.
杰茜
I know you're bummed and so I hate to do this,
我知道你心情不好 我也不想这样
but I want to look at porn and you owe me a year's worth.
但是我想看A片 而你欠了我一年的钱
Yeah, okay. You know what?
好吧 这样吧
You earned this porn.
这是你应得的
And the VIP pass.
还有会员通行证
And the "Kitty Room Live Cam Experience."
还有"小野猫视频直播室"
Do you really need all of this?
这些你都要吗
Just click the boxes.
全选就好了
Matt was right. I am shallow.
马特是对的 我的确很肤浅
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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