杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl S04E01
Part 2
Nov. 20, 2020, 12:25 p.m.
How-how Jewish?
有多像犹太人
I mean, like, good Jewish or bad Jewish?
我是说 像好犹太人还是坏犹太人
Oh, I won't say-- it feels like a trap.
我不会回答的 感觉这是个陷阱
Come on. Come with me.
走 跟我走
I haven't told the guys
我还没跟他们说
that you broke up with Buster yet, 'cause, um...
你跟巴斯特分手了 因为
I feel like I might have to tell Schmidt
我感觉我可能必须得在医院门口
outside a hospital,
告诉施密特这事
like, you know, when you give a baby
就像 你知道的 第一次
peanut butter for the first time?
给一个婴儿吃花生酱一样
Yeah.
对
You're not doing this tonight.
你今晚不能这么做
What? You're not doing this tonight.
什么 你今晚不能这么做
I’m not listening to you. You're not doing this tonight.
我没在听你讲话 你今晚不能这么做
I'm picturing Cece naked.
我在想象希希的裸体
Stop doing this!
停下来
Cece has a boyfriend,
希希有男朋友了
and your obsession with her
你对她如此迷恋
is not good for you, man.
对你没好处的 兄弟
She's been away all summer,
她整个夏天都不在
and you have been killing it!
而你一直都表现得很棒
Mostly hand stuff.
多数时候都是自己用手弄
Who had sex with a bridesmaid
是谁在去圣何塞四十五分钟的飞机上
on a 45-minute flight to San Jose?
和伴娘做来着
Me.
我
You were boarding group "D."
你是在D组登机的
She was "B." How's that even possible?
她可是在B组 你们怎么可能搞上的
Gotta think outside of the box, my man.
你得有创新性思维 兄弟
Now get your little white butt back out there
给我扭着你的小白臀
and finish the summer of sex that you started.
去完成你起头的性♥爱♥之夏
That's what I'm talking about.
我就是这意思
Cece gone.
不想希希了
See that bridesmaid right there?
看见那个伴娘了吗
The pretty one? Sure do.
那个美女 当然
The foxy lady? Mmhmm.
那个小妖精 当然
Well, you're going home with her tonight.
今晚你要把她领回家
And I got your back. Look at that.
我会支持你 你看
She looks like the girl from the commercial
她长得很像广♥告♥里那个女孩
playing tennis with a tampon in.
塞着卫生棉打网球那个
Let's do it.
来吧
Hi. I'm Jess.
你好 我是杰茜
Hi. I'm Ted.
我叫泰德
Cheers. Cheers.
干杯 干杯
So you're from Wisconsin...
你是威斯康星来的...
I'm sorry. Is this thing on?
抱歉 麦克没开吗
You're making your throat like a microphone.
你在用自己的嗓子模仿麦克风吗
Yeah.
对
That's funny!
真有意思
Thank you. Yeah.
谢谢 没什么
I loved your speech.
你的致辞真棒
Hi. I'm Kat. Hi.
你好 我是凯特
I'm Ted. Really nice to meet you.
我叫泰德 很高兴认识你
Yeah. Oh.
我也是
Excuse me.
失陪一下
My girlfriend's getting jealous.
我女朋友要吃醋了
Perfect specimen.
完美的男人
Ted is the only eligible guy here,
这里只有泰德符合条件
and we are his two best options for procreation.
而我们是他繁殖后代的最好选择
Oh. I'm not trying to intimidate you,
我不是在恐吓你
I just want you to know who you're dealing with
只是希望你清楚自己的对手是谁
if we're both gonna compete for this man tonight.
如果你选择跟我抢他的话
What? Here are the facts:
什么 你听好了
I am technically a genius,
我是个天才
I have a photographic memory
记东西过目不忘
and I lost my virginity to Malcolm Gladwell.
我的第一次献给了马尔科姆·格拉德威尔
Okay...
好吧...
Have you ever heard of Plutoxic Syndrome?
听过普拉特希克综合征吗
That's because I cured it.
因为被我治好了
You're welcome, vaginas everywhere.
全世界的阴♥道♥都得谢谢我
Oh, thank you very much.
那真是太谢谢你了
I'm sorry, that was...
抱歉 刚刚我在...
vagina voice, and a...
模仿阴♥道♥发声
it was a huge mistake.
我错了
I stay current on sporting events.
我关注所有体育信息
I watch 30 minutes of porn every night
每晚都会看三十分钟毛♥片♥
just to stay up to date on the latest sex trends.
以保持跟性♥爱♥界的新潮流接轨
In the coming months,
接下来的几个月
I'm predicting a throwback to missionary.
我预计传教士体♥位♥会重新流行
It all depends on what happens in Syria.
不过这要看叙利亚的形势如何
Well, have you ever had sex
你有没有在你很累
when you were really, really, really, really,
很累很累很累很累
really, really tired? I'm never tired.
很累的时候滚过床单 我从不疲倦
I'm the better choice of mate.
作为伴侣 显然选我更好
From a purely biological standpoint,
仅从生物学角度来看
you're shorter, weaker, and dumber.
你比我矮 比我弱 比我蠢
No offense. I love those shoes.
无意冒犯 我很喜欢你这双鞋
I love your shoes.
我也喜欢你的鞋子
But I love your shoes.
但我喜欢你的鞋子
Your shoes.
你的鞋子
No, I love your shoes. Your shoes.
不 我喜欢你的鞋子 你的鞋子
Your shoes. Your shoes.
你的鞋子 你的鞋子
Your shoes.
你的鞋子
What? I was just moving my mouth.
你说什么 我只是在活动我的嘴
So you're competing with her? I can take her down,
所以你是在和她争咯 我赢定了
because I have something she doesn't have:
因为我有一些她没有的优势
you guys.
那就是你们
Now, strategies.
现在 讨论一下策略
What about you, Coach?
你怎么看 教练
You hook up at weddings all the time.
你总是在婚礼上到处勾搭
What's your strategy?
你都是怎么做的
It's called being a gorgeous black man
因为我是一位有着
with the body of an action figure.
动作巨星体格的帅气黑人
I could give that a try.
我可以试试
You want to know what your ex-boyfriend
需要你前男友教教你
thinks you should do to get the guy?
怎么追到那个男的吗
No, I don't. That's super weird.
不 不用了 那太奇怪了
Yeah, it's too weird, so... somebody else.
是啊 怪死了 换个人来说说看
Okay, look, babe, just get out on the dance floor, okay?
听我的宝贝 你直接去舞池好吗
Guys think that they way you dance is the way you have sex.
男人们觉得你跳舞的姿势代表着你床上的姿势
Okay. So just give them a little something, okay?
好 去让他们看看你的舞姿
You just need to, like, roll your body a little bit.
你只用微微地摇摆你的身体
Something a little sexy.
带点儿小性感
Pop your hip out a little bit.
稍微摆动一下你的臀部
Hey, man, I'm not gonna lie to you right now.
兄弟 我不想对你撒谎
I've got a halfie. Okay, we got to go!
我硬了 我们该走了
Excuse me, everybody! I need a minute.
抱歉 各位 稍等下
What do you think of this?
你觉得这样怎么样
I'm good to go now.
我可以走了
Let's go! All right.
走吧 好的
I just want to get back out there,
我只想要重回情场
but I feel like I forgot everything I knew.
但我觉得我什么都不会了
Do you guys still like an Oakland face with an L.A. booty?
你们男人还喜欢那种童颜巨♥乳♥翘臀的吗
Would you like to know my strategy, Jess?
你想听听我的方法吗 杰茜
Is the art of seduction really where you shine?
你真的擅长诱惑之道吗
Be there.
去他身边
That's it?
就这样
Yeah. Just be there.
是啊 去他身边
No matter where he goes, be there.
不管他去哪儿 你都在他身边
He gets a drink, be there.
他去喝酒 跟着
He talks to his friends, be there.
他跟朋友聊天 旁边听着
杰茜驾到（2011）
New Girl
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