哈莉·奎茵

Harley Quinn S01E01

Part 3 Dec. 4, 2019, 11:33 a.m.

That's why you didn't come get me?
让你和我保持距离
Keeping you away from me
是保护你的唯一办法
was the only way to protect you.
现在依然是
And still is.
所以恐怕亲爱的这是
So, I'm afraid, my dear, this is a...
这是心碎的告别
Oh, it's a heartbreaking goodbye.
-不不等等 -不不要"等等"
- Uh, no, no wait! - No! No "wait."
-这就是你想要的结果哈莉 -是吗
- This is what you wanted, Harley! - Is it?
是的你来就是为了分手
It is, yes. You came here to do this.
是的听你这位糟糕的朋友
Yes! Listen to your awful friend.
那真的结束了吗
So, this is really the end?
-是的结束了走吧 -除非
- Yep. This is it. Let's go. - Unless...
-除非什么 -除非我们之间的爱非常强大
- Unless what? - Unless our love is so powerful
连死亡都不会让我们分离
even the threat of death can't keep us apart.
管他呢我随时都愿意为你去死
Oh, screw it! I'll die for you any day.
-我愿意 -真的吗我也是
- I'm in! - Really? Me too!
到底什么情况
What the fuck just happened?
我们需要一点隐私艾薇
We're gonna need some privacy, Ive.
对不起但很快场面就会有点恶心了
Sorry, but it's gonna get real gross, real quick.
开关
On and off.
再开关
And on and off.
一切都活着一切都死了
Everything lives and everything dies.
-吉姆 -我没有在玩
- Jim? - I wasn't playing with it.
是谜语人
It's the Riddler.
我们听说他有一个很有趣的谜语
We hear he's got a riddle so funny
会让人的脑袋爆♥炸♥
it makes people's brains explode.
他准备在电视上进行直播
And he plans to broadcast it on live TV.
除非我先解出来
Not if I solve it first.
我在想
Oh, and hey, I was thinking about
邀请几个朋友来烧烤如果...
having some friends over to the house for a barbecue if--
-不行 -好吧
- No. - All right.
他们说很有意思会让人的脑袋爆♥炸♥
And they say it's so funny it makes people's brains explode!
让我帮你舒缓谜语人的烦恼
Let me take your mind off the Riddler.
我给我的小布丁做了一些面包布丁
I made some bread puddin' for my puddin'.
好吧你没有理解这个影响
Okay. You're not grasping the impact of this.
我的特点才是有趣
Funny is my thing
这个混♥蛋♥想在电视直播上偷走
and this asshole's trying to steal it on live TV!
以及这是葡萄干吗
Also, are those raisins?
为什么
I mean, why?
那是巧克力碎
They're chocolate chips.
对不起我爱巧克力碎
Sorry. I do love chocolate chips.
对不起小布丁
I apologize, puddin'.
只是觉得我每次转过头来
It just seems like every time I turn around,
都有人在说谜语人
someone's gushing over the Riddler.
我是说认真的
I mean, seriously,
他只会做全世界最烂的模仿混♥蛋♥
his whole schtick is being the world's most indirect asshole!
这样吧
Okay, how about this?
如果我在接下来的一小时里杀死谜语人
If I kill the Riddler in the next hour,
我们今晚的约会之夜还能继续吗
can we still have date night?
我们可以一起看一部瑞茜·威瑟斯彭的电影
I got a Reese Witherspoon movie I was thinkin' we could watch.
我爱我的瑞茜
Well, I do love my Reese.
好吧杀了他
All right. Kill him.
但如果不是《律政俏佳人》我就不看
But it's Legally Blonde or I'm out!
这是《情归阿♥拉♥巴马》
It's Sweet Home Alabama.
今天烂透了
This day... sucks!
他们怎么会发现不了这些地方
Wow, how do they not find these lairs?
我们接下来就要杀死所有哥谭人倒数三二
And we're murdering everyone in Gotham in three, two...
哥谭的市民
Citizens of Gotham,
谜语人带着一个超级有趣的谜语
Riddler here with a riddle so hilarious...
会让你们活活笑死
...you'll die laughing!
你好谜语人我有几个关于你节目的点评
Hey, Riddler. I got some notes on your show.
结束了谜语人
It's over, Riddler...
等等你怎么在这里
Wait a minute, what are you doing here?
走开小蝙蝠我在做"点评"呢
Buzz off, Batsie, I'm in the middle of doing a "notes" bit!
来猜猜两位
Riddle me this, you two.
什么东西冰冷又灼烧
What is cold but still burns?
你喝下后却会吞噬你什么...
What will eat you if you drink it? What--
-酸 -是酸
- Acid. - It's acid.
我还没说完什么...等等
I am not done. What is... Wait...
我刚刚说了冰冷又灼烧吗
Did I say the thing about cold but it still burns?
-说了 -没错
- Yes. - Right.
-没有 -因为就是酸
- No! - Because it's acid.
好吧是酸我要把你们扔进一缸酸里
Okay, it's acid. I'm dropping you in a pool of acid.
你在犯一个打错
You're makin' a big mistake,
因为等我男人知道了他肯定会冲进来
'cause when my man hears about this, he's gonna come runnin'.
我求之不得
Precisely what I'm counting on.
不如我邀请他来共享着游戏之夜吧
Why don't I invite him over right now for a little game night?
所以你根本没有有趣到
So you don't have a riddle so funny
能让人脑袋爆♥炸♥的谜语
it makes people's brains explode?
-没有 -我就知道
- No. - I knew it!
你别想就这么脱身谜语人
You won't get away with this, Riddler.
如果没有谜语为什么要我们来这里
If there's no riddle, why are we here?
来玩一个小游戏
To play a little game.
选一个人活一个人去死
Choose one to live and one to die
输掉的人会在酸里活活烧死
and in the acid, the loser will fry.
这是那种会给你超能力的好酸吗
Is it the good kind of acid that gives you super powers?
不选择
No. Choose!
快告诉他 J先生
Go ahead. Tell him, Mistah J!
-烧死那只蝙蝠 -好好好
- Deep fry that bat. - Yes, well, yes, yes.
看起来是个很简单的选择哈莉但是
It would seem an easy choice, Harley, but...
小布丁
Puddin'?
这笑声就算是你发出来的也太疯狂了
Even for you that's a lot of maniacal giggling.
对不起我的小野鸡
Sorry, my little strung-up pheasant,
但我不可能让这个问号♥混♥蛋♥
but I couldn't possibly let this punctuation prick...
抢了杀死蝙蝠侠的功劳对吧
...get credit for killing Batman, now, could I?
放了蝙蝠放下婆娘
Free the bat, drop the broad.
直到死亡让我们分离
Till death do us part.
但其实不是这样的对吗
But that's not what really happened, is it?
该死你在我的记忆里干什么
Aw, shit. What are you doin' in my memory?
这也是我的记忆笨蛋
It's my memory, too, dummy.
首先他们不是小提琴家
First of all, those weren't violinists.
你不是在和小丑跳舞
And you weren't dancing with Joker.
那也不是订婚戒指
And it wasn't an engagement ring.
但如果这不是真的那他为什么说
But, if all that's true, then why'd he say--
直到死亡让我们分离
Till death do us part.
因为他不是对你说的
Because he didn't say it to you.
一直以来都是他对吗
It was him all along, wasn't it?
一直都是他
It's always been him.
小丑从来没爱过我他只爱蝙蝠侠
Joker never loved me. He only loves Batman.
艾薇
Ivy!
你把我从酸里救出来了
You saved me from the acid!
其实只是玛格丽塔
It's actually just margarita mix.
还是有点刺痛
It's still kinda stingy.
好吧我做了我该做的
Okay, I did my part,
那扯平了还你把我从阿卡姆救出来的人情
so we're square for you breaking me out of Arkham?
他该做的他在说什么
His... His part? What's he talking about?
不要对我发疯好吗
So don't go all Harley on me, okay?
但这都是我安排的
But I did set this whole thing up.
我一直告诉你你和小丑一起没有好下场
I've been telling you forever that the Joker's no good for you
但是你似乎无法理解
but it seemed like such a hard concept for you to understand,
所以我决定让你亲眼看看
so I decided to let you see it for yourself.
我只想爬回酸里去死
I just wanna crawl back into that acid and die.
我再说一遍那是玛格丽塔
Again, it's margarita mix,
所以没用
so that doesn't apply.
但是听着开心点
But look, chin up.
你还有我我很在乎你
You know, you still got me. And I care about you so much
以至于花了一整个周六
that I spent my entire Saturday
都在谋划这么愚蠢的计划
setting up something this fucking stupid.
没错肯定不是很容易的事
That's true. I bet it wasn't easy.
最难的是要搞到
Eh, you know, the biggest pain in the ass
150加仑的这玩意