哈莉·奎茵

Harley Quinn S01E07

Part 1 March 3, 2020, 9:02 a.m.

自♥由♥得州
我们绝对不会忘记这个花栗鼠
Aw. And that's one chipmunk we'll never forget.
鸡尾酒歌♥手花栗鼠享年74岁
下则新闻邪恶女巫寓言皇后
In other news, evil sorceress, Queen of Fables,
寓言皇后从《美国税法》中释放
今天挽回了声望
won a huge ruling today
一名法官发现将她困在《美国税法》中的刑罚
when a judge found her imprisonment in a US Tax Code
过于残忍♥和异常
to be cruel and unusual punishment.
他们总是用那张该死的照片
They always use that same damn picture.
《美国税法》
总比他们用来报道我的照片好
Better than the picture they use of me.
哈莉·奎茵抢劫银行
至少他们马上就会放你出去了
Hey, at least they're letting you out soon.
我们还能每周一起喝咖啡吗
Are we still gonna get our weekly coffees?
预言女王
要是我没有忙着做♥爱♥的话
If I'm not too busy getting my fuck on.
最近毁灭军团有什么消息吗
So, what's the update with the Legion of Doom?
没有还是和上周一样
Nada. Same as last week.
我要给谁吹♥箫♥才能得到邀请
Who do I gotta blow up to get an invite?
很简单找到军团最想要的东西
Easy. Find the thing the Legion wants most,
然后把它搞到手
and then you get it for yourself.
好了我下午两点还要和一个把自己的收据
All right, I've got a two o'clock with an independent contractor
放在阿尔夫午餐盒里的独♥立♥承包商见面
who keeps his receipts in a fuckin' ALF lunch box.
贝恩塞尼斯托格鲁德
Bane, Sinestro, Grodd,
甚至还有小丑
I mean, even Joker.
好了好了我们知道他们长什么样
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what they look like.
-你想说什么 -他们想偷科德公♥司♥的
- What's your point? - That they've all tried and failed
尖端天气机器然而都失败了
to steal Kord Industries' game-changing weather machine.
科德
所以我们要出手
Which is why we are gonna do it.
如果他们都偷不到
If none of them could steal it,
那似乎说明我们根本就不该尝试
that seems like a pretty good indicator that we should not try.
但如果我们成功了那毁灭军团肯定会很愤怒
But if we succeed, it will make the Legion so furious,
他们肯定会注意到我们
they'll have to notice us.
我已经派泥脸去侦查了
I sent Clayface to do some recon.
我的角色是一个时髦的离异女子
My character was a sassy divorcee...
我们能不能不要再搞这套没有意义的背景故事
Can we please not do the unnecessary backstory thing?
-名叫布兰达 -好吧
- ...named Brenda... - Okay.
多年来第一次重归情场
...who is back in the dating game for the first time in a while,
她决定要装成人牙套
and she's decided to get adult braces.
-当然了 -我知道你们在想什么
- Of course she did. - I know what you're thinking.
一个秘书的工资应该负担不起
It's a little expensive on a secretary's salary,
但是不微笑是不能用钱来衡量的
but no! You can't put a price on a smile.
所以她放飞自我...
So she threw caution to the wind--
泥脸情报
Clayface! Intel!
主管研发杰罗姆·斯坦斯菲尔德说
The machine is being protected by 1,000-ish lasers,
那个机器由1000多道激光保护
according to head scientist Jerome Stansfield,
明天布兰达不会再去上班
who may or may not be heartbroken when Brenda
他也许会心碎也许不会
does not show up to work tomorrow.
我们要怎么通过1000多道激光
How will we ever get past 1,000-ish lasers?
早就想到了神经
Already thought of that. Psycho?
星辰实验室研发了一种能反射能量的
S.T.A.R. Labs created a personal force field device
星辰实验室
个人力场
个人力场装置
that deflects energy.
问题是想进那个房♥间
Problem is, the only way to get into the room
只能从一个四英寸宽的通风管道
is through an air duct about four inches wide.
我不知道我们要怎么才能进去
I don't know how the hell we're gonna do that.
嗯我之前就觉得这可能是个问题
Yeah. I thought that might be an issue.
-然后呢 -然后我想得没错
- And? - And I was right.
这绝对是一个问题
It's a definite issue.
天哈莉
Oh, shit, Harley.
新闻上在说你爱的那本书
The news is talking about that book you love.
《撒哈拉奇兵》吗
Oh, Clive Cussler's Sahara?
《撒哈拉...不
Clive Cuss-- No.
是寓言皇后
Queen of Fables.
没错她今天出来
Oh, that's right. She's gettin' out today.
现场报道:寓言皇后从《美国税法》中释放
我们正在从法庭现场报道
We are bringing you live to the courtroom
寓言皇后被关进书中30年后
where Queen of Fables is being released
终于得到释放
from her tax book prison of 30 years.
太好了
Oh, yeah.
天从书里爬出来的感觉真是太好了
Damn! Feels good to get out of those pages.
谢谢扎坦娜谢谢法官再见
Thanks, Zatanna. Thanks, Judge. See ya.
搞什...
Whoa! What the...
别踩我的袍子
Watch the robe.
你说你要释放我的
You said you were gonna release me!
没错把你从《税法》中释放
I did. From the tax code.
但是你依然被判
But you're hereby sentenced
要在阿卡姆服完你的刑期
to serve the remainder of your time in Arkham Asylum.
什么这简直胡扯
What? That's bullshit!
寓言皇后的释放派对监狱终结
谁来做些什么啊
Somebody's gotta do something.
她在那本书里困了30年啊
She's been stuck in that book for 30 years!
是啊因为她差点毁掉了哥谭
Yeah, 'cause she almost destroyed Gotham.
我以为哥谭的毁灭
Yeah, I think it was more of
是因为没有人们买♥♥不起房♥
a lack of affordable housing that destroyed Gotham
但是寓言皇后一直都是我的导师
but, look, Fables has been a mentor to me.
她只是名声不好
She just gets a bad rap.
显然我也不是阿卡姆派的
Look. Obviously, I'm not pro-Arkham,
但是要说有谁绝对属于那里
but if there was any person who definitely belongs there,
那就非寓言女皇莫...天你已经走了
it would be the Queen of-- Oh, my God. And you're gone.
是啊她屁都没听进去
Yeah. She didn't hear any of that shit.
点个火吧帅哥
How about a light, handsome?
当然了
Yeah, yeah, sure thing.
手滑
Aw. Butterfingers.
我的天啊
Well, I'll be damned.
我可不会丢下你
Aw, I couldn't leave you behind.
谢谢你哈莉
Why, thank you, Harley.
我们走吧
Let's ride.
哈莉·奎茵
第一季第七集
好了大家伙
All right, everyone.
我要给大家介绍寓言皇后
I would like to introduce Queen of Fables.
她同意帮我们闯进星辰实验室
She's agreed to help us break into S.T.A.R. Labs.
好了我需要你从你的童话书中
So, yeah. I'm gonna need you to pull something
弄出点高四英寸的东西
around four inches tall out of your storybook.
当然了但我可不敢确定
Sure, but I'm not sure
王子的鸡♥巴♥能帮到你什么
how Prince Charming's dick is gonna help ya.
这梗有点太直白了根本不好笑
Kinda low hanging fruit. Not even tryin'.
我只是随便说说
I'm just playin' around.
你为我做了这么多
After what you did for me,
你想要什么都可以亲爱的
you can have whatever you need, honey.
那你可以从你的童话书中变出任何角色吗
So you can pull any character out of your storybook?
当然了你最喜欢谁
Sure can. Who's your favorite?
我喜欢矮胖子[《鹅妈妈童谣》]
Oh, I'm partial to Humpty Dumpty.
大家好
Hi, everybody.
天啊真的是他
Oh, my God. It's him!
他真...
Oh, he's so--
他的蛋最美味了
He makes the best eggs.
你这里有厨房♥吧
Y'all got a kitchen here, right?
哈莉过来一下
Uh, Harley. A moment?
你在想什么
What are you thinking?
想要引起毁灭军团的主意
Uh, that the only way to get the Legion of Doom's attention
就只有搞到天气机器她会帮我偷到手
is that weather machine, and she's gonna help me steal it?
不不不不
No, no, no, no.
说真的你不想跟这贱♥人♥搅和的
Seriously, you do not want to get involved with this bitch.
她是个不折不扣的坏人
She's like a real, legit bad guy.
姐们我们都是坏人
Dude, we're all bad guys.
首先我是在保护环境的好吗
Uh, first of all, I care about the environment, okay?
真不知道为什么这能说明我是个坏人
I don't know what about that makes me a bad guy.
是啊然后你趁王牌化工董事进行香草浴时
Yeah. Says the girl who dissolved the head of ACE Chemicals
砍下了他的脑袋
in a bath of his own herbicide.
那是最棒的地球清洁日万岁
Best Earth Day ever. Holla.
寓言一直在教我做超级坏蛋的要领
Fables has been teaching me the ropes of super villainy.
是你当初让我去听听别人的建议
You were the one saying I should listen to other people.
不我是说听我的好吗