哈莉·奎茵

Harley Quinn S01E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

先生们各位富豪
Gentlemen! My fellow whites!
让我们为这一堆金字塔般的钱而具备
Let's raise a glass to this pyramid of money.
我们所有最爱娱乐活动的基石
The foundation of which was built upon our favorite pastime.
去他妈的穷♥人♥
Fucking the poor!
派对时间结束了你们这群混♥蛋♥
Party's over, ya pieces of shit!
这现在是我的钱了滚开
This is my money now so back the fuck off!
哈莉·奎因
Harley Quinn?
你觉得我们会害怕小丑的女朋友吗
I mean, you think we're afraid of the Joker's girlfriend?
这样吧
So, here's the deal...
你要闭上嘴巴听我讲完吗
Are ya gonna shut the fuck up so I can talk?
我好疼啊
I'm in a lot of pain!
等一会儿你就会休克了
Oh, just give it a minute, you'll go into shock.
这就对了我刚说到
Yeah, there it is. So, as I was saying--
你孤身前来这是一个天大的错误
You made a big mistake coming alone.
她不是一个人
She's not exactly alone.
她还带了男伴
She brought a plus one.
是我小丑
It's me, Joker!
很抱歉但是你的朋友鲁伯特
Apologies, but your friend, Rupert,
就是没脸面对来到这里
just couldn't face coming out here.
我好难过我的身体呢
I'm so sad. Where's my body?
小布丁你在干什么
Puddin'? What the fuck are ya doing?
你不该现在就摘掉他的脸局势在我掌控中
You're not supposed to take his face off yet. I had this covered.
是的但我就是想到了"男伴"的梗
Yes, but I thought up that great "plus one" line.
我现在也不会不拿他的脸玩木偶戏了
And then I'm not going to not puppeteer his face.
好吧做你要做的事吧
All right, fine. Do your thing.
好了听着混♥蛋♥们
So, listen up motherfuckers!
你们最好赶紧跳船
Ya better jump in the harbor right now,
不然我就杀了...
or I'm gonna kill--
天啊搞什么你又来
God, really? You just did it again.
那是因为我忘了我有酸液炸♥弹♥
That's because I forgot I had the acid bomb.
但是我们说好我是打手打人的事交给我
But we agreed I'm the muscle! I do the hitting!
你很棒你很棒
You know, you're great, you're great.
你做你的我做我的
You do your thing, I do my thing.
你是开胃菜我是主菜
You're the appetizer. I'm the entree.
我不能这辈子都只会动动拳脚
I can't spend my whole life just bashin' goons.
当哥谭人听到"哈莉·奎因"这个名字
When Gothamites hear the name "Harley Quinn,"
我希望他们尿裤子
I want 'em to piss 'emselves!
我想要那种感觉
I want a taste of that.
你想要...尿的感觉
You want a taste of... piss?
不你明白我的意思听好了小布丁
No, you know what I meant. God, listen, puddin',
你就不能让我进毁灭军团吗
can't you just see me in the Legion of Doom?
那...你不会想进的
That is just... You don't want that.
再说了不行
Besides, no,
毁灭军团不会接收副手
the Legion of Doom doesn't give memberships to sidekicks.
-你得是 -搭档
- You have to be-- - Partners.
让我死吧
Oh, fuck me.
我想成为你犯罪上的搭档真正的搭档
I wanna be your partner in crime. For reals.
-我们能迟点再说这个吗 -现在不说还什么时候说
- Can we talk about this later? - If not now, when?
我不知道明天吗我现在有点忙
I don't know, tomorrow? I've kinda got my hands full right now.
出丑的是你小丑
Joke's on you, Joker.
天又是他
Jesus, this guy.
你别想活捉我们蝙蝠
You'll never take us alive, Bats!
我很喜欢你的斗志哈莉
Love that fighting spirit, Harley.
但在这场战斗中恐怕我要
But in this fight, I'm afraid I have to
向下猛冲了
take a dive.
你是说"我们"吗
Uh, dontcha mean "we"?
你知道我也很想带上你小布丁
You know I'd love to take you, puddin',
但我可不想剥脱你为我争取逃跑时间的快乐
but I'd never deny you the pleasure of buying me time to escape.
但是万一我们抓到阿卡姆了呢
Hey, but what if I get sent to Arkham?
那你在那儿都不会待过一晚
Then you won't spend even a single night!
我会救你出来的亲爱的我发誓
I'll break you out, my love. I swear.
其实我今晚还有事
Or actually, uh, I have something tonight,
但我会在早餐前就救你出来的
but I'll definitely get you out before breakfast.
爱你
Love ya!
他逃跑的时候是不是很可爱
Oh, ain't he cute when he's escapin'?
不
No.
你是癌症奎因
You're a cancer, Quinn.
从哥谭的淋巴结扩散到脾脏
Spreading from Gotham's lymph nodes into its spleen.
要是你扩散到膀胱上帝都救不了我们
And God help us if you get to Gotham's bladder!
但我是化疗
But I'm the chemo.
他要这样念叨多久
How long's he gonna keep doin' this?
你这是一个溃烂的疖子奎因你是褥疮
You're a festering boil, Quinn. A bedsore.
一条蠕虫只会在哥谭的...
A tapeworm that sets up shop in Gotham's lower--
-吉姆 -好吧
- Jim. - All right.
小丑在哪里
Where's the Joker?
我绝对不会出♥卖♥♥♥我的小布丁
I'll never give up my puddin'!
你为什么要保护一个把你当做垃圾的
Why are you protecting a psychotic clown
疯子小丑
who treats you like garbage?
你这个干蝙蝠的人也好意思说我
Asks the guy who fucks bats.
他不会这么做
He doesn't do that!
-吉姆 -抱歉
- Jim. - Sorry.
我什么都不会告诉你们的
I'm not tellin' ya shit!
我和J先生之间是真爱
What me and Mistah J have is real love.
事实上不久之前我们还这样在屋顶上
In fact, not too long ago, we were on a rooftop just like this.
然后J先生就求婚了
That's when Mistah J proposed.
直到死亡让我们分离
Till death do us part.
就说吧
Ooh! Told ya!
等我们结婚后我们会包下游艇前往巴巴多斯
After we get married, we'll take a cruise to Barbados,
或者去一个应有尽有的度假胜地
or maybe a resort that's all-inclusive.
广♥告♥上都说应有尽有但都是假的
They say they're all-inclusive, but that's bullshit!
毛巾和肥皂都要钱
They charge you for the towels! Soap!
-吉姆 -还有上好的酒
- Jim. - Top shelf liquor!
-吉姆 -好吧好吧
- Jim! - Right, right.
把吉姆交出来奎因
Give up the Joker, Quinn,
不然就永远待在阿卡姆吧
or you're going to Arkham for life.
你为什么要笑
Why are we laughing?
因为你说"永远"
'Cause you said "for life"!
-就像我确定他干蝙蝠一样 -好了
- And, as sure as I am that he fucks bats... - Okay.
我知道我的爱人不会让我待上一晚
...I know my man'll break me out of Arkham
就会把我救出去
before I spend a single night.
六个月后
J先生
Oh! Mistah J?
抱歉不好意思
Hmm? Oh, sorry, my bad.
你看上去有点像他
I mean, ya looked a little like him.
我真不知道你来这里干什么
I don't know why you bother comin' here.
他从来没来过
He's never showing up.
-滚开 -没错滚开
- Fuck off! - Yeah, fuck off!
但说实话他说得没错
But for the record, he does have a point.
再给我15分钟
Just give me 15 more minutes.
小丑可能还在和蝙蝠侠战斗
Joker's probably still fightin' Batman.
我不知道亲爱的
I don't know, hon.
大多数超级英雄战斗都不会持续...
It's, you know, most superhero fights, they're not like, eh...
日历人她进来多久了
Calendar Man, how long has she been in here?
你好艾薇 183天
Oh, hey, Ivy! 183 days!
当然了你能记得小丑妓♥女♥来这里
Oh, sure. You remember the incarceration date
到底有几天了
of Porn Clown over here
但是却记不得你儿子的生日
but not your own son's birthday!
我最后说一次对不起黛比
For the last time, I'm sorry, Debbie!
拜托我知道是在六月
Come on! I know it's June-ish.
没关系爸爸我给你带了这个仙人掌让你开...
It's okay, Daddy. I brought you this cactus to keep you comp--
植物
Plant!
毒藤女身边50码内
There ain't no plant life within 50 yards
都不许有植物笨蛋
of Poison Ivy, ya moron!
难怪你♥爸♥爸不记得你的生日
No wonder your dad doesn't remember your birthday!
三个月后
我想说的是你能做得比小丑好多了
All I'm saying is, is that you can do way better than Joker.
你很聪明很强壮
I mean, you're smart, you're strong...
你能控制你自己的命运
You're in control of your own destiny.
我离开小丑后去找谁
Leave Joker for who?
某个觉得自己在躲避球队挥挥棍子
Some reliable square who thinks he's "quirky"
就已经够标新立异而自称"啤酒怪咖"的
for playin' on a dodgeball team