哈莉·奎茵

Harley Quinn S01E03

Part 2 Jan. 1, 2020, 5:04 p.m.

I thought you were playing the role of "literal piece of shit."
还没有
Not yet.
-都弄到我头发上了 -我现在才是一坨屎
- Ugh. It's in my hair. - Now I'm a literal piece of shit.
好
Okay.
这是泥脸还是臭脸
Is it Clayface or Fuckface?
风筝人来了我想去干一票
Hey! Kite Man here. Thinking about doing a caper, gang.
我还不确定偷点东西或者绑♥架♥个什么人吧
Not sure what, might steal something, might kidnap somebody.
我也不好说
I don't know, uh,
得看天气
depending on the weather.
但绝对要用风筝
But Kite will be involved.
-谁来 -我来冲吧
- Who's in? - I am! Let's do this!
真是不敢相信你
I do not fucking believe this.
然后他们都跟着那个废物风筝人跑了
And then, they all ran off with that loser Kite Man.
可不是
Yeah.
那家伙真是个废物他有没有提到我的名字
What a loser that guy is. Did he mention my name?
算了
You know what, nevermind.
-但提了吗 -我肯定还漏了点什么
- But did he? - There must be something I'm missing.
-我要怎么让别人为我♥干♥活 -她根本不知道
- How do I get people to work for me? - She has no fuckin' idea.
因为这个懒货的活都是植物帮她做的
Because plants do all this shit for her lazy ass.
肯定有人能给我一点内♥幕♥消息
There must be someone who can gimme the inside scoop.
宝贝真正的超级坏蛋
Babe, what real supervillain
愿意乖乖交出他们的行业秘密
is gonna give away their trade secrets?
也许不是"交出"
Well, maybe not "give away."
我是马克西·宙斯
I am Maxie Zeus!
今晚我将让你们的梦想全部成真
And tonight, I "max" all your dreams come true!
这家伙真是个呆瓜
This guy's such a douche.
抱歉但是今天没有
I'm sorry, but none of the charming villains
既有魅力性格又好的超级反派
with great personalities
举♥行♥宣讲会了
were holding seminars today.
小丑谜语人双面人
Joker. Riddler. Two-Face.
他们有什么你没有的东西
What do they have that you don't?
-鸡♥巴♥吗 -团队
- A penis? - A crew!
坏蛋单打独斗
A villain goes in alone,
超级坏蛋需要帮手
but a supervillain needs henchmen.
我洗劫1996年的奥林匹克运动会时
When I robbed the 1996 Olympics--
谢谢大家真好很有趣
Oh, thank you very much, just lovely. Fun times.
我的团队帮我偷了这些奖牌
My crew helped me steal those medals.
我现在就是睡在一堆金子上
And now I literally sleep on a pile of gold.
艾薇你听听睡在金子上
Ivy, you hear that? Sleeps on gold!
说实话这家伙磕嗨成这样
Honestly, with the amount of coke this guy does,
他睡在哪里都行
I doubt he's sleeping on anything.
我们要怎么招揽打手
So, how does one recruit goons?
通过打手中介
Through a henchmen agency,
或者从热门的坏蛋...
or from popular villain--
请说第三排变戏法的家伙
Yes. The juggler in the third row.
宙斯先生我这些办法都试了没有用
Mr. Zeus, I tried those things and they didn't work.
你不能被拒绝阻拦脚步想想那些大人物
You can't let rejection stop you. Think about the big boys.
达克赛德卢瑟马克西
Darkseid. Luthor. Maxie.
-我们轻言放弃吗 -不
- Are we quitters? - No!
你也不该
Neither are you!
好了我走了
Okay, I'm out.
抱歉不知道你正忙着
Oh, sorry, sorry. Didn't know you were busy.
不不进来吧
No, no. Come in.
只是在放松我的腿
Just letting my legs breathe.
你真的很鼓舞人
You were so inspiring.
如果你不介意的话
If you don't mind,
我有几个问题
I got a couple questions.
我有一个大回答
And I've got one big answer.
这就像那种
Wow. That's just like one of those paintings, you know,
眼睛一直盯着你的话
where the eyes follow you,
-只不过那是你涂了油的乳♥头♥ -悄悄告诉你
- except, nope, it's just your greased-up nipples. - Just between us,
那是我画的
I painted it. Shh.
真诡异好吧
Weird. So, hey,
我只是想问问你能不能给我一些指点
I was wondering if you'd just gimme some pointers.
我可以给你一个指点
Well, I can certainly give you one.
明白了你就是个变♥态♥混♥蛋♥
Ah, got it! So you're just a creepy dick.
-我不会上你 -真的吗
- I'm not fucking you. - Oh, really?
你被赶出了黑市恶人公♥司♥
You were laughed out of UTI.
没错这都传遍了
Yeah! Word gets around.
你永远招不到团队
You'll never get a crew!
因为没有坏热会给女人工作
Because no bad guy will ever work for a woman.
-我的拙见 -我的拙见是
- My two cents. - Then here's mine.
去看泌尿医生吧恶心的鸡♥巴♥不仅侮辱人
See a urologist, 'cause creepy dick wasn't just an insult,
还说明身体有恙
it was a concern.
如果没有坏蛋[男人]愿意和我合作
And if no bad guy will work with me,
也许我不需要坏蛋[男人]
then maybe I don't need a "bad guy."
哈莉我说过了我单干的
Harley, I told you this, I work alone.
看似单干
Alone-ish.
-别逼我现在开口 -拜托艾薇
- Don't even get me started right now. - Come on, Ive.
你能控制地球上所有的植物
With your ability to control all plant life on Earth,
再加上我的柔韧度
and my gymnastics,
我们要是组队肯定会所向睥睨
I mean, there's nothing we can't do if we team up.
我说了不行我有专属风格的
I said no. I mean, I got a brand. You know?
在里面加上柔韧就会变得非常模糊
It's like, adding gymnastics to it, it's a very muddled message.
告诉她真正的理由你这个大骗子
Tell her the real reason, you lying motherfucker.
天啊好吧
Oh, God, here we go.
好了听着
All right, so look,
其实女性超级坏蛋是有看不见的上限
there's a glass ceiling for female supervillains, okay?
人们容忍♥我们
Like, sure, we're tolerated,
但前提是我们不能太强大
but as long as we don't get too powerful.
-那你是不是太小题大做了 -这个天真的小家伙
- Aren't you being a little dramatic? - Guess whose naive ass
没有听说过寓言皇后的故事
who hasn't heard of the Queen of Fables.
艾薇开始讲故事吧我来营造气氛
Go on, Ivy, tell your story. I'll set the mood.
好谢谢弗兰克
All right, all right. Thanks, Frank.
很久很久以前在80年代有一个
So, a long time ago, way back in the '80s. There was this
强大的女巫她被称为寓言皇后
powerful sorceress, right? She's known as the Queen of Fables.
她不想再做男性超级坏蛋的注脚
Fed up of being a footnote to the male supervillains,
她要利用魔力让童话书里的角色都活过来
she decided to turn Gotham into an evil force by using sorcery
将哥谭变成一支邪恶的大军
to pull characters from the pages of storybooks.
后来她有了一支任她差遣的军队
Until she had a whole army at her command.
-然后她怎么了 -你自己去问她吧
- Well, what happened to her? - Ask her yourself.
顺便保释你的冰雪狂热阿姨
FYI, bailin' out your klepto aunt with the snow globe fetish
并不算数下一位
does not count. Next.
你好我找寓言皇后
Uh, hey, I'm looking for the Queen of Fables?
近在眼前宝贝
Just found her, sweetie.
不你看上面干什么这边
No. Why you lookin' up there for? Here.
这本书是我我被困在这玩意里了
The book. Me. I'm stuck in this bullshit.
我下一个预约20分钟后就到了什么事
I've got 20 minutes till my next appointment. What's up?
我叫哈莉·奎茵我是新的超级坏蛋
Hey, my name's Harley Quinn. I'm a new supervillain,
我听说我应该来问问你出了什么事
and I was told I should ask what happened to you.
好吧坐稳了亲爱的该听故事了
All right, buckle up, honey, it's story time.
我的团队也就是一群愚蠢的童话角色
So there I was with my crew, a bunch of dumb storybook things,
然后英雄出现了真是太可怕了
when the heroes showed up. Ugh! It was a horror.
不不不超人不会这么做的
No, no, no. There's no way Superman did that.
夸张的手法才好听
I exaggerate to add flavor.
但事实是
But the truth is,
他们用一种前所未有的手段来惩罚我
they punished me in a way no one has ever been punished.
不
No!
他们没有把我像那些男坏蛋一样扔进阿卡姆
Instead of throwing me into Arkham like any male villain,
他们想出了这个鬼点子
they came up with this bullshit.
男人抢银行就是犯罪大♥师♥
I mean, a guy robs a bank, he's a criminal mastermind.
-女人抢银行 -就是疯婊♥子♥
- A woman robs a bank-- - She's a crazy bitch.
没错你想想
Exactly! Think about it.
男性超级坏蛋可以打扮成一个变形的企鹅
A male supervillain can literally look like a deformed penguin,
但是我们却不能盖过他们锋芒半点
but God forbid we outshine them even a little bit,
不然就会永远变成一个该死的税务帐簿
and into the fucking tax book we go, forever.
嗯你想有多大出息都行
Yeah, you can get as big as you want,
-只要不要比他们大 -你很懂
- as long as you don't get bigger than them. - Yeah. You get it.
你的野心不仅仅只会害了你
And your ambition won't just hurt you,
还会伤害你最在乎的人
it'll hurt the people you care most about.
-4点给老板生日蛋糕 -谢谢马克